I struggle being happy

[Asia P]

I feel exhausted, always sad, i cant stop crying. Whithout a specific reason. I cant see the beauty and the love in life again. I ve lived trying to solve this problem for 3 years. Now i cant see a way to solve my infinite sadness. I cant appreciate what i already have, nor i have any specific ambition or desire. I have difficulty find my purpose in life. I really dont know what i want, i always change my mind and my direction. I feel lost. 

Living is being very very difficult for me this last months. I cant even do simple things with a normal sense of happiness. I feel extremely tired

Edited 13 hours ago by Asia P

[UnbornTao]

Can you just feel tired and separate the tiredness from any other reaction you think might be called for to deal with it?

You might ask yourself what role you have in all of this and how creative you can be. If you want purpose, make it up. Get clear on that and commit.

Feeling lost is OK too. It happens relative to some desire you feel is being thwarted. So you can see that you have desires. As for appreciating what you have, well, appreciate stuff. Don't wait for circumstances to give you permission.

Overall, my suggestion would be to separate and clarify what each thing in your post is, because it seems like there are several questions you're grappling with, not just one.

[UnbornTao]

Or, just as an exercise, practice being happy now. Be happy. Try that.

Edited 13 hours ago by UnbornTao

[Leo Gura]

@Asia P It sounds like it might be a health issue. I suggest going to some doctors and getting comprehensive bloodwork done. You may have some autoimmune disorder or the like which causes all sorts of mood problems and tiredness.

[Asia P]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Asia P It sounds like it might be a health issue. I suggest going to some doctors and getting comprehensive bloodwork done. You may have some autoimmune disorder or the like which causes all sorts of mood problems and tiredness.

I admit that it crossed my mind that could be this , but i didnt check my health in the past, because im only 20.

I ll check my blood. Thank you.

 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Asia P said:

I admit that it crossed my mind that could be this , but i didnt check my health in the past, because im only 20.

I ll check my blood. Thank you.

You need to especially check thyroid function. Thyroid problems are very common and cause huge fatigue issues and much more. But check other things as well.

Buy some books on chronic fatigue and autoimmune disorders. You need to research this topic so you understand how deep it goes and how to speak to doctors.

This is also a good topic to query AI about. It can give you lots of ideas and leads to pursue. Tell AI a list of all your symptoms and ask for possible medical conditions.

Edited 13 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Cred]

What you are describing sounds like a depression. I wrote about manic depression in this post: 

It is still relevant for you, just ignore the part where I talk about mania.

[Julian gabriel]

um... yea definitely don't do what Leo said, go in ur head instead, we both know ur too mystical to feel conclusive about ur sadness from some random blood test result from a doctor so stop faking. 

me and u r spiritually gifted aliens with blue hearts and green heads blown up with emotional depth and vision like a real alien. 

since u love yogananda do what he suggested, try staying awake for 3 days straight and obsessing over this issue alone in the woods until u can't take it anymore, that's what I did last winter. I am still sad but I know my green alien head of chaotic compassion better. 

u r not trying to fix ur sadness obviously as always u r trying to actualize your true higher self, by integrating the beauty of blue. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Go for a hormonal panel, thyroid and bloodwork.

I personally troubleshoot issues from the ground up - rule out physiological issues first, then go to psychological.

If you can reach out to a women's health doctor or endocrinologist, even better.

Unfortunately as progressed as society is - we are still a bit demented with regards to women's health. I had many issues that overlapped with yours and I ended up investigating to discover I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I found a women's health clinic and worked with an endo to help me manage it.

Ruling out physiological I would move to investigating psychological. Depression is NOT just sadness or anxiety. It is debilitating.

My heart goes out to you - a million e-cuddles & compassion (づ˶•.•˶)づ♡