Men Are Not Approaching Women

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, Ulax said:

What is a good advice regarding relationships in your opinion?

I might need some additional context to answer more cleanly; do you mean this from a romantic angle, or perhaps more broad as it applies to all relationships?

[Eskilon]

@Natasha Tori Maru I agree with your words. 

Maybe what I said gives the impression that I see women only for sexual pleasure(Sometimes I do, because horny wins most of the time and I try to be honest with myself that I only want sex and dont like the girls personality much). But what I said was more to try to explain what is most likely happening to some men in society giving our current technology era.

I think we have too many collective trauma and survival is too hard for us to have more selfless relationships beyond interest(right now at least). It is possible, it is beautiful when a man and a woman truly connect, a work of art really. Although for that to happen(in my opinion) sex needs to happen. A moment of vulnerability must occur.

I hope I didnt give the wrong impression, I appreciate women a lot. You guys are beautiful beings and we men have a lot to learn from women.

In the end it all starts with horny .

From horny to love

Edited Sunday at 02:21 AM by Eskilon

[Natasha Tori Maru]

13 minutes ago, Eskilon said:

@Natasha Tori Maru I agree with your words. 

Maybe what I said gives the impression that I see women only for sexual pleasure(Sometimes I do, because horny wins most of the time and I try to be honest with myself that I only want sex and dont like the girls personality much). But what I said was more to try to explain what is most likely happening to some men in society giving our current technology era.

I think we have too many collective trauma and survival is too hard for us to have more selfless relationships beyond interest(right now at least). It is possible, it is beautiful when a man and a woman truly connect, a work of art really. Although for that to happen(in my opinion) sex needs to happen. A moment of vulnerability must occur.

I hope I didnt give the wrong impression, I appreciate women a lot. You guys are beautiful beings and we men have a lot to learn from women.

In the end it all starts with horny .

From horny to love

I definitely did not receive your original words as seeing women as purely sexual objects. I reflected on your post and saw the wider pattern of both sexes viewing each other as objects 🙏🙃

You have an awesome perspective imo, as it relates across domains. Wholesome and always open to new concepts/perspectives. 

I agree regarding sex. It is much more fundamental than women want to acknowledge, in my opinion. I have strange views on this arena that most women hate me for - but I firmly believe women need to put effort into ensuring they are open, engaged and looking forward to sex with their man. It is a need for men. Just as emotional engagement is a need for women (from men). I consider it part of my responsibility in a relationship to ensure I am firmly in a 'sexy' mindset. 

The above - women feeling in the 'mood' for sex - and who is responsible for that, is an issue. Women need to take charge and prioritise sex and romance. Sometimes when I feel I am not in the mood (or ambivalent), I won't say no. Because I know if I surrender 99% of the time I'm going to love it! 

Like exercise. Sometimes I feel a bit tired at the end of the day. I sort of cannot be fucked. But I never regret it 😁 but this takes confidence, respect and firm boundaries to operate like this.

Edited Sunday at 02:34 AM by Natasha Tori Maru

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I might need some additional context to answer more cleanly; do you mean this from a romantic angle, or perhaps more broad as it applies to all relationships?

Both actually if possible please

[Lila9]

On 2/8/2026 at 4:33 AM, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I definitely did not receive your original words as seeing women as purely sexual objects. I reflected on your post and saw the wider pattern of both sexes viewing each other as objects 🙏🙃

You have an awesome perspective imo, as it relates across domains. Wholesome and always open to new concepts/perspectives. 

I agree regarding sex. It is much more fundamental than women want to acknowledge, in my opinion. I have strange views on this arena that most women hate me for - but I firmly believe women need to put effort into ensuring they are open, engaged and looking forward to sex with their man. It is a need for men. Just as emotional engagement is a need for women (from men). I consider it part of my responsibility in a relationship to ensure I am firmly in a 'sexy' mindset. 

The above - women feeling in the 'mood' for sex - and who is responsible for that, is an issue. Women need to take charge and prioritise sex and romance. Sometimes when I feel I am not in the mood (or ambivalent), I won't say no. Because I know if I surrender 99% of the time I'm going to love it! 

Like exercise. Sometimes I feel a bit tired at the end of the day. I sort of cannot be fucked. But I never regret it 😁 but this takes confidence, respect and firm boundaries to operate like this.

Women don't owe sex to men.

Most men are not physically or emotionally safe for women, they are either misogynistic and don't view women as humans or brainwashed by porn.

So sex with most men is not safe.

Most men have sex for selfish reasons (regardless of what they say), not to form a connection with women. They were socialized that way, the same way that women were socialized to objectify themselves for the male gaze. Men seek validation from other men of their masculinity by sleeping with women. They view women as a means to an end, not as the end itself.

This is very harmful, what you say. I understand that you may be from an older generation, and this mindset of sacrificing yourself for men for the sake of them not leaving you (probably a trauma response) has helped you survive in a patriarchal system as a woman, but I hope that young women, especially those with toxic boyfriends who manipulate them into sex, don't read it.

Women should always first and foremost listen to their intuition and body.

Never sleep with a man just because he wants it, no matter how many years they have been together. If a man respects and genuinely loves a woman, he will not cross her boundaries or force her into sex.

Men should be held accountable; they can control their sexual urges. They are not little boys. Any physically and mentally healthy man who claims he can't control his sexual urges lies.

Sex is not a prize that women give for emotional maturity in men. Emotional maturity should be the standard and the baseline on which both build a healthy relationship.

[Lila9]

No, men should not approach women more, not before they deconstruct the patriarchy and understand women more genuinely. If they don't do that, they are just wasting women's time.

Most pickup rhetoric looks at women as prey to conquer, using various manipulative techniques, how to get one's dick wet without bringing any real value to a woman's life.

Additionally, cold approach is traumatizing, especially for introverted and highly sensitive men. This is not natural for most men. This is very psychopathic, actually.

For introverted men, it is better to meet women via shared places where they can build a connection with a woman over time. But this is of course not with a red pill incel creepy mindset but with a mindset of a human who wants to form a real connection with another human. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Lila9 said:

Women don't owe sex to men.

Most men are not physically or emotionally safe for women, they are either misogynistic and don't view women as humans or brainwashed by porn.

So sex with most men is not safe.

Most men have sex for selfish reasons (regardless of what they say), not to form a connection with women. They were socialized that way, the same way that women were socialized to objectify themselves for the male gaze. Men seek validation from other men of their masculinity by sleeping with women. They view women as a means to an end, not as the end itself.

This is very harmful, what you say. I understand that you may be from an older generation, and this mindset of sacrificing yourself for men for the sake of them not leaving you (probably a trauma response) has helped you survive in a patriarchal system as a woman, but I hope that young women, especially those with toxic boyfriends who manipulate them into sex, don't read it.

Women should always first and foremost listen to their intuition and body.

Never sleep with a man just because he wants it, no matter how many years they have been together. If a man respects and genuinely loves a woman, he will not cross her boundaries or force her into sex.

Men should be held accountable; they can control their sexual urges. They are not little boys. Any physically and mentally healthy man who claims he can't control his sexual urges lies.

Sex is not a prize that women give for emotional maturity in men. Emotional maturity should be the standard and the baseline on which both build a healthy relationship.

If you read what I wrote - no where did I say it was owed to men in any sort of transactional way.

My statement is around responsibility.

Sex is something to be mutually engaged in.

I feel women SHOULD take responsibility to be honest and open. Ensure they are in a good healthy state to want to engage in sex. Something is wrong if you aren't willing to engage in give/take with a partner. It is just realistic. I think your views on sex are looking at it as something to be 'taken' and 'performed'. Not so in my eyes. It is not a reward. It is not for one partner. It is for both. Do not put words in my mouth. You make many inferences and assumptions about my view without asking questions. 

Your rant should be directed somewhere else, as it has little to do with anything I claim.

Quote

Most men have sex for selfish reasons (regardless of what they say), not to form a connection with women.

This is your assumption. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Lila9]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

If you read what I wrote - no where did I say it was owed to men in any sort of transactional way.

My statement is around responsibility.

Sex is something to be mutually engaged in.

I feel women SHOULD take responsibility to be honest and open. Ensure they are in a good healthy state to want to engage in sex. Something is wrong if you aren't willing to engage in give/take with a partner. It is just realistic. I think your views on sex are looking at it as something to be 'taken' and 'performed'. Not so in my eyes. It is not a reward. It is not for one partner. It is for both. Do not put words in my mouth. You make many inferences and assumptions about my view without asking questions. 

Your rant should be directed somewhere else, as it has little to do with anything I claim.

No, I addressed exactly what you said. Please don't gaslight me.

You said that women are not open enough to romance and sex, but women are always open to romance. Men are not open to romance on the other hand. Sex is another issue, because it is not safe for women. This is a fact. So this is very rational of women not be so much open to sex. Sometimes because of toxic retoric such as yours, women are too open to sex with men who don't have their best interests at heart, just because they were gaslighted into believing they should always be open because it is “feminine.”

Women should never give at their own expense if they don't feel comfortable with it. Love is not about crossing each other's boundaries but about reaching mutual understanding.

I see sex as sacred, not something to be performed, quite the opposite.

You were actually the one who implied that because men bring emotional maturity, women should bring sex. you framed sex as a reward, which I see as very outdated view. As I said, emotional maturity shouldn't be conditioned with sex. 

Sex is so sacred to me that I would never do it if I were not 100% there, and I would not want my daughter to do it if she didn’t truly want it. And if a man loves a woman, he will understand.

Sometimes a woman is on her period, sometimes she is sick, sometimes she is tired. She is not an object or a sex toy to be used at a man's will.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Lila9 I too view sex as a sacred act, but it also encompasses a lot more. None of what I said states I do not see sex as sacred.

We will simply not agree.

You need to revisit:

Quote

 

but women are always open to romance.

 

Always?

Quote

Sometimes because of toxic retoric such as yours, women are too open to sex with men who don't have their best interests at heart, just because they were gaslighted into believing they should always be open because it is “feminine.”

My frame is from within a stable committed relationship, to be clear. A man vetted by a healthy woman who does not have any attachment issues. I am not talking about doing anything we do not want to. I am talking about mutual care and affection for each partners needs within the realms of a relationship. When a man cares for me, I want to engage in love. I am not talking about trying to live up to any standards other than our own. If my words come out that way, it is not what is meant.

Have you ever been with a man, and he propositioned you (with a kiss) and you weren't directly randy right then, but you went in with the kiss and rolled into a swoon because desire can follow action? Because I am talking about responsive desire. 

Quote

Sometimes a woman is on her period, sometimes she is sick, sometimes she is tired. She is not an object or a sex toy to be used at a man's will.

I think you might be jumping to conclusions because I am well aware there are reasons for not wanting or being able to engage in sex, haha!

My comments relate to being responsible, as I said. If a women is saying no to sex because her man isn't taking care of a need - it is her responsibility to bring this up. To open a dialogue. This will make her feel heard and reignite intimacy through healthy communication, provided a solution is found or worked toward. We need to be vocal and communicate with men regarding what helps US feel 'in the mood'. This is what my comments were gearing towards. Not any sort of weird transactional sex shit. This is what I mean by saying women need to be responsible for advocating for their needs - because it will open up intimacy. And in my experience, sex naturally happens from this, as a physical manifestation of intimacy. This is what I mean by women taking responsibility for ensuring they desire sex with their partner - by knowing what will bring union and intimacy. Love.  

Edited 4 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[No1Here2c]

I have heard a good acronym across my travels

Sex

S.E.X.

Sacred Energy Exchange.

[No1Here2c]

@Natasha Tori Maru

Off topic question, how did you get the purple color for the text in your signature?

[Lila9]

7 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Always?

Not always, but mostly women are those who priorities romance when in relationship with men while men don't prioritize romance much. Reality.

 

11 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Have you ever been with a man, and he propositioned you (with a kiss) and you weren't directly randy right then, but you went in with the kiss and rolled into a swoon because desire can follow action? Because I am talking about responsive desire. 

I see, but if a woman is really tried and sick this doesn't work. If a woman is tried or sick, a man should leave her alone or take care of her, make her some tea, make sure she is comfortable, she is resting, not pushing for sex. This is very predatory to push a sick or tired woman to sex.

 

22 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I think you might be jumping to conclusions because I am well aware there are reasons for not wanting or being able to engage in sex, haha!

My comments relate to being responsible, as I said. If a women is saying no to sex because her man isn't taking care of a need - it is her responsibility to bring this up. To open a dialogue. This will make her feel heard and reignite intimacy through healthy communication, provided a solution is found or worked toward. We need to be vocal and communicate with men regarding what helps US feel 'in the mood'. This is what my comments were gearing towards. Not any sort of weird transactional sex shit. This is what I mean by saying women need to be responsible for advocating for their needs - because it will open up intimacy. And in my experience, sex naturally happens from this, as a physical manifestation of intimacy. This is what I mean by women taking responsibility for ensuring they desire sex with their partner - by knowing what will bring union and intimacy. Love.  

Communication about sex is another thing. But it should be applied to men too. If one party is communicating while the other is not listening, then it is futile. Men usually are not good listeners, so they need to be open to the women's communication to begin with.

This is a mutual responsibility. 

 

[No1Here2c]

@Natasha Tori Maru

Beautiful, Thanks.

[Basman]

I've become so attuned to schizo posting that I only need to read like a half sentence before I know to stop reading entirely.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

I see, but if a woman is really tried and sick this doesn't work. If a woman is tried or sick, a man should leave her alone or take care of her, make her some tea, make sure she is comfortable, she is resting, not pushing for sex. This is very predatory to push a sick or tired woman to sex.

Of course - a caring man, who gives a fuck about his woman, will back off. This is part of taking care of her emotional and physical needs. Some men are pushy like that, and need to learn a hard lesson. I have had to tell men to literally fuck off out of my sight. Issues arise when women are capitulating, because it is a form of self violation. Many women prioritise harmony and agreeableness so extensively they erode their own boundaries - which can be a terrible lesson  . I feel as much as men need to understand no in finality, women have their part to learn that hard boundaries and words are needed at the expense of harmony. Both sexes have their issues at play which complicates relations. I make no judgement about who is right or wrong, but these dynamics are the ones that I see lead to boundaries being violated which can lead to heavy polarisation. In addition - men need to be responsible for their power. Their physical power. They need to understand just how much of an advantage they have over women in this arena; because making women feel safe is usually one of our biggest concerns. The power axis is set within different domains for woman and men. A woman should never capitulate out of fear (unfortunately, many do) - and should be vocal about these fears (intimacy). But there are bigger issues if there is a real physical threat from a man. Sometimes it is just women's perception working against them. Very hard topic because it relies on being confident and able to advocate for ourselves; which few people are capable of doing. Women need this skill more than ever - but balance is needed. I am not advocating for cucking men.

It is 100% okay to get into kissy kissy mode with a man and then still remain sick, or off, or not willing to engage in sex and not be slapped with any sort of claim he was 'being led on'. No can be said at any point. 100% for it.

23 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

NotCommunication about sex is another thing. But it should be applied to men too. If one party is communicating while the other is not listening, then it is futile. Men usually are not good listeners, so they need to be open to the women's communication to begin with.

This is a mutual responsibility. 

Yep, exactly, and this is the part of attending to the relationship and intimacy that men need to fulfil I was touching on originally. Not to gain sex, but to care for needs in a mutual way. This naturally leads to the union that breeds romance and lovemaking.

 

[CARDOZZO]

Lilisms will not get you the pussy. It is sad to say that, I know. Survival is brutal. Dating is brutal. 

May we find peace.