Contemplating the nature of attachemnt

[Spiritual Warrior]

Contemplating the nature of attachment ~ 1.16.26

A big part of being human is that we have attachments, attachments to things, friends, family, objects. We can't escape attachments in life. And if we lose these things, we feel incomplete, we feel loss, we feel sadness. Of course, nothing is permanent, and in the end you will lose EVERYTHING. Which makes it so that all attachments will lead to suffering.

Is this suffering necessary? Is it possible to release yourself from ALL attachments? Why are attachments so closely related to being human? Is it because we are all One so this leads us towards wanting to unite back towards each other? What is the metaphysical nature of an "attachment"?

Some things to contemplate... 

[gettoefl]

Attachment is the belief in the illusion of a thing increasing my happiness.

I believe this makes me happy.

So, why do I believe this?

Because I believe in the illusion of a body that I claim mine.

This body needs to be made happy.

The belief, I am this body, needs dissolving.

The truth is, I operate a body for the purpose of realizing my true nature. 

Next question is why did I attach to a body? Let's save that enquiry until we have given up on the above. One step at a time.

[Spiritual Warrior]

51 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

Attachment is the belief in the illusion of a thing increasing my happiness.

I believe this makes me happy.

In this sense the attachment is part of a selfish desire, but at the same time, anything that we are attached to, we do love, otherwise we wouldn't be attached to it, but is this really love or is it merely part of a survival game? 

Is it even possible to truly love something that you are attached to? 

Edited 18 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior

[gettoefl]

21 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

In this sense the attachment is part of a selfish desire, but at the same time, anything that we are attached to, we do love, otherwise we wouldn't be attached to it, but is this really love or is it merely part of a survival game? 

Is it even possible to truly love something that you are attached to? 

No they are opposites. Love is to give. Attach is to take.

[Spiritual Warrior]

5 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

No they are opposites. Love is to give. Attach is to take.

Damn. 

[Xonas Pitfall]

2 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

A big part of being human is that we have attachments, attachments to things, friends, family, objects. We can't escape attachments in life.

Attachment begins when you "recognize / believe" something as essential to who you are or what you need. In that sense, it can feel “God-Like,” as an experience of infinite connection where the boundary between you and the other dissolves into the self.

In a way, this is true, because your human self is only a “part,” not the whole. Because of that, it makes complete sense that you become attached, since attachment is an attempt to feel whole, to move closer to God, which is ultimately closer to yourself. You want to be yourself, to be whole, to be God. Because of that, you become attached, seeking connection with “others,” which are really other parts of yourself.

Where it stops being “God-Like” is that it presumes a separation between you and the other. If, in your eyes, the “other” is slowly disappearing from you, you will perceive that as "bad / tragic / loss" and want to stay in fantasy, manipulate, keep, control, preserve, take, and indulge selfishly as much as you can. This happens because you perceive it as separate from you, therefore outside of your control and something that can disappear. As a result, you become more and more attached, and more controlling to that "other".

Think of how a parent might want to preserve their precious child from the evil of the world and never let them grow up. There is a desire to preserve, to control, to freeze the child in a state of innocence, even though we know that reality, truth, and God are all rooted in impermanence. In trying to protect the child from harm, the parent ends up limiting their freedom. In one way, the child is harmed by not being allowed to be free. In another way, the child may harm itself by being set free. Either path carries risk. This is the unavoidable cost of attachment.

2 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Is this suffering necessary? Is it possible to release yourself from ALL attachments? Why are attachments so closely related to being human? Is it because we are all One so this leads us towards wanting to unite back towards each other? What is the metaphysical nature of an "attachment"?

However, I would say that as long as you want to identify with your human self, that kind of thinking is wishful. As long as you are human, you will want to care about staying alive, food, shelter, having enough income, love, support, some sense of direction, achievement, and purpose. By definition, if you stopped caring or being attached to food, you would die within a short span of time.

Even if you wanted to be a yogi, monk, or meditative guru, you would still have to find a way to preserve yourself. Who would take care of your living situation and your body while you meditate into blissful or psychedelic states? If you rely on a monastery, then you have an attachment to the monastery and would need to follow and comply with its rules.

If you completely want to live alone in the woods or a cave, outside of everyone, good luck. You would still need to be attached to your body and your sense of self-preservation in order to ward off animals, insects, or diseases crawling onto you. If you are okay with dying, and you will if you choose to lose all attachment, then yes, you can absolutely escape attachment. Otherwise, it is not really "practical".

I would say the more practical approach is introspection, seeing what things you actually care about, and making that as clear and pure as possible. There are so many things we are fed daily that we are told we should care about, but we really do not. I think this kind of practice is far more realistic and sustainable long-term, as long as you accept wanting to be a human living in this society.

[Spiritual Warrior]

Great insights guys, thank you. 

I have come to the conclusion that there are healthy attachments and there are unhealthy attachments. A healthy attachment is one in which you genuinely care and love the thing that you are describing. However, you fully understand that if the thing leaves or changes, it is a natural step in the direction of the things development and you will not cling onto it, keeping it with you or the way that it was. 

True love requires you to allow the thing to fly away if it's true desire is to get away from you and be free. 

A negative attachment is one that requires a clinging, a tying down, a having control. The perfect example is that of the controlling boyfriend that doesn't allow the girl to leave the house. He says that he loves her but in reality, he is just attached to her, he is attached to something that she is giving to him. And he is desperately afraid of losing this thing. 

A perfect song describing the controlling boyfriend: 

 

I am starting to get out there into the dating field. My goal in that is to become very aware of my attachments to these girls. Is it a healthy attachment or is it an unhealthy attachment? There is a fine line to be toed here because naturally, the better fit a girl is for me, the higher quality the girl is, the more likely it is that I will have an unhealthy attachments towards her because she is so rare. It will be interesting to navigate this. 

[Terell Kirby]

A good Book reference: Ending Unnecessary Suffering-Peter Ralston

[Spiritual Warrior]

4 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

A good Book reference: Ending Unnecessary Suffering-Peter Ralston

Peter Ralston is a fuckin beast, I will be checking out this book, I didn't know it existed 

[Carl-Richard]

18 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Is it possible to release yourself from ALL attachments?

Yes. Attachment means you don't accept were you to be without something, or are not ok, complete, without something, such that you torture yourself mentally with feelings and thoughts. To release an attachment, simply imagine being without something or something happening and then telling yourself "I'm ok with this".

I have had a sort of automatic habit that before a test or exam, I tell myself "I don't care about what happens". And it removes all anxiety, and it makes me able to perform only the way that is needed, and it makes you more objective, less needy, less desperate, less biased, clearer in your perception. The same thing happens with any attachment you have. You become less partial, less corrupted, less emotional and unstable.

You can still have preferences without attachments. If you get a cake, you will prefer that over a piece of camel dung. But if you don't get a cake, you'll be just as fine as if you did get it. You are essentially independent from your preferences, you only take them as they are, and you accept reality as it is. Attachment means not accepting reality as it is.

Now, can you accept literally everything as it is? That is what it means to be without attachment.

Edited 1 hour ago by Carl-Richard

[UnbornTao]

The main question would have to be "What is it?"

What is it to be attached? 

[Leo Gura]

Having no attachments is known as death.

[Rilles]

You attach because you are one, you cant escape yourself, silly goose.