As you become more evolved - is it harder to connect and build relationships?

[Dima]

Some years ago, I quit social networks, dating apps, and similar platforms because the ratio between value and the “damage” no longer felt favorable.
Solutions that rely on speed, volume, engagement, and performative self-presentation didn’t work for me.
Finding people who truly resonate — who share similar values, depth of thinking, and orientation toward life — became harder, not easier.

If you’re at Yellow or above (or late Green), do you experience this as well? How do you solve it?

[theleelajoker]

" If  you’re at Yellow or above (or late Green), do you experience this as well?

No. I experience the opposite. It's getting easier to connect.

How do you solve it?"

1) I don't categorize myself or people in stages or colours 

2) I am as curious as I can be. And if I see that something bothers me in others, I check where I can find this part within me and integrate it as best as I can.

3) I wear purple sock on my left, and yellow - green sock on my right foot. I switch the colours every three days, except the third day falls on a Thursday. In that case, I buy a cat instead 😺 

 

Edited yesterday at 01:27 PM by theleelajoker

[Rigel]

Finding people becomes harder but connecting with those fewer interesting people is way easier cause there’s no more approval seeking nonsense going on.

Younger souls don’t know what connection means. They build many shallow relationships in a doomed to fail attempt at fulfilment. Older souls are already fulfilled & connecting with people from that place of abundance. But it seems young souls don’t really vibe with that kind of independence & freedom.

 

[Puer Aeternus]

Sounds like you're doing some important shedding! Congratulations, you're moving through your own process. This can be a bit of a confusing time, like a time between worlds.

What was once there is dropping away and it's uncertain if it will be replaced or not. The confusion is a friend, sometimes it's useful to develop more independence here so other people are less relied on. The strange thing is, if there's a connection you're supposed to have with another it will be delivered to you irregardless of any effort. Sounds strange, but it's happened to me a few times! 

There can be more than this though. It was definitely a phase I went through, being a "more evolved self." Just live it through like there's nothing else to come and you'll naturally feel it's limits if you're willing to do the suffering. 

But the more evolved self is still just a self. What is it that needs this conditional connection a certain way? All these developmental stage theories are relative practical human truths, not absolute. Drop it all and there's no reason you can't connect with anyone. Then it's just up to how they react to their own mirrored reflection seen through you.

[Joseph Maynor]

I actually feel like it gets easier to meet and keep friends as I become more developed.  And I can relate with more people too because I care less about them being like me.  My preferences are real life relating but I also relate with a lot of people online too.  But nothing beats hanging out in person.

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Then it's just up to how they react to their own mirrored reflection seen through you.

Wow. Love that 

[Hojo]

I find it easier to connect and talk but something isn't there anymore. Me caring about a connection is gone. It feels different almost like I don't care about the person or the connection.

I used to want to build relationships and actively go seek it out and its kinda nice to have.

I feel null toward relationship.

Edited yesterday at 05:58 PM by Hojo

[Sugarcoat]

2 hours ago, Hojo said:

I find it easier to connect and talk but something isn't there anymore. Me caring about a connection is gone. It feels different almost like I don't care about the person or the connection.

I used to want to build relationships and actively go seek it out and its kinda nice to have.

I feel null toward relationship.

You sound a bit schizoid like me (I have been evaluated and gotten no diagnosis but can relate a little to some traits)

Edited 23 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Hojo]

@SugarcoatYea, after i awaken I saw that when people look for relationships actively they are seeking something they dont know they can give themselves.

This is a subreddit I relate to https://www.reddit.com/r/SchizoidAdjacent/

I wasnt always this way it happened after I awaken. I was actually the opposite.

I dont have an imaginary world I live in like is described tho.

I am in a period of deep rest after 30 years of over stimulated nervous system.

I dont avoid talking to people or doing work or cleaning my house but once thats done Im done.

Edited 23 hours ago by Hojo

[Miguel1]

Easier to understand people, sure. But it turns into a game of acting where I pretend to relate with their worldview.

Otherwise they sense the nonchalantness from me.

[Sugarcoat]

12 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@SugarcoatYea, after i awaken I saw that when people look for relationships actively they are seeking something they dont know they can give themselves.

This is a subreddit I relate to https://www.reddit.com/r/SchizoidAdjacent/

I wasnt always this way it happened after I awaken. I was actually the opposite.

I dont have an imaginary world I live in like is described tho.

I am in a period of deep rest after 30 years of over stimulated nervous system.

I dont avoid talking to people or doing work or cleaning my house but once thats done Im done.

How would you describe that particular awakening you had, if you don’t mind? 
 

Yea the lack of seeking out connection can come from different places, not all of them fit into a defined “disorder”. 
 

I have also felt calmer lately than previously in my life, but simultaneously I lack emotional intensity, so I relate to that trait in the disorder, but not all of it like you said. 

[Hojo]

@Sugarcoat Energy shot up through my body my brain exploded. The bottom of my visual field looked like a curtain blowing in the wind. A disembodied voice talked into my ear and asked me what I was, I said I am God. I closed my eyes and I saw the entire universe behind my eyes. Energy shot out out of the top of my head and I tore off my point of view like hair being ripped out of a head and I flew back and saw my soul and then flew back further and I was with God or was God and I hear or feel a million voices saying I love you you are beautiful you are perfect then I shot back back into my body and laughed and cried for 6 hours.

[Ramasta9]

On the contrary, it becomes easier to connect with others because you have integrated more of what most people are still struggling with.

Relationships become more evolved too, no longer shallow and based on apps and internet searches, but real, deep, meaningful experiences for growth and expansion and less about needs and wants, rather co-creation and walking side by side as equals.

 

[Dima]

21 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

" If  you’re at Yellow or above (or late Green), do you experience this as well?

No. I experience the opposite. It's getting easier to connect.

How do you solve it?"

1) I don't categorize myself or people in stages or colours 

2) I am as curious as I can be. And if I see that something bothers me in others, I check where I can find this part within me and integrate it as best as I can.

3) I wear purple sock on my left, and yellow - green sock on my right foot. I switch the colours every three days, except the third day falls on a Thursday. In that case, I buy a cat instead 😺 

 

Got you. But I probably didn't explain myself well.. 
It's definitely became easier to get into someone's shoes. I don't see any problem talking and finding common ground either with the UFC fan, new ager activist or a business guy, etc.. But I am talking about those who you can be totally trully yourself and create this meaningful strong connection 'for yourself'. How are doing with those?

[Sugarcoat]

9 hours ago, Hojo said:

@Sugarcoat Energy shot up through my body my brain exploded. The bottom of my visual field looked like a curtain blowing in the wind. A disembodied voice talked into my ear and asked me what I was, I said I am God. I closed my eyes and I saw the entire universe behind my eyes. Energy shot out out of the top of my head and I tore off my point of view like hair being ripped out of a head and I flew back and saw my soul and then flew back further and I was with God or was God and I hear or feel a million voices saying I love you you are beautiful you are perfect then I shot back back into my body and laughed and cried for 6 hours.

That is indeed a profound experience. You said it had lasting positive change so thats good. 

[theleelajoker]

35 minutes ago, Dima said:

Got you. But I probably didn't explain myself well.. 
It's definitely became easier to get into someone's shoes. I don't see any problem talking and finding common ground either with the UFC fan, new ager activist or a business guy, etc.. But I am talking about those who you can be totally trully yourself and create this meaningful strong connection 'for yourself'. How are doing with those?

Ok.

So serious answer: I talk more about what truly matters to me. I wear less masks. I listen more. I judge less. Take people as they are as best as I can. I pay attention to act aligned and with integrity towards myself and others. Etc etc

And if I do that, stuff happens that gives the chance for meaningful experiences and thus connections.

In end, that's the key. A) spending time together and B) all parties are authentic, so that you can be yourself. That gives IME the chance for that meaningful connection you're asking 

Edited 8 hours ago by theleelajoker

[Hojo]

@SugarcoatYes it shocked me entire system and now I feel I am in resting period to return to my normal self and heal my nervous system. Before I had extreme death anxiety that fucked my nervous system up and the awakening did too now I must heal and calm down.

That means going schizoid for a bit.

Edited 8 hours ago by Hojo

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Hojo said:

@SugarcoatYes it shocked me entire system and now I feel I am in resting period to return to my normal self and heal my nervous system. Before I had extreme death anxiety that fucked my nervous system up and the awakening did too now I must heal and calm down.

That means going schizoid for a bit.

Yea sometimes something can put us off balance too far so we need to find balance again and recenter ourselves but at a better place than before. 

[theleelajoker]

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Yea sometimes something can put us off balance too far so we need to find balance again and recenter ourselves but at a better place than before. 

+1

Took time for me to rebuild a stable self after my awakenings 

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

+1

Took time for me to rebuild a stable self after my awakenings 

I had a thought, some say awakening is dissolution of self, or do you consider it differently?

Nonetheless, a profound spiritual transformation that leads to something better is good regardless. Not trying to pick at people here