As you become more evolved - is it harder to connect and build relationships?

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

I had a thought, some say awakening is dissolution of self, or do you consider it differently?

I agree. That's how I experienced it, even if I didn't understand it back then. But not as total dissolution, a partial one for me I would say. And over time the dissolved part got modified/ replaced by sth else.

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

Nonetheless, a profound spiritual transformation that leads to something better is good regardless. Not trying to pick at people here

Did not view it as picking at people. I think you just expressed information and your POV.

In the end, the process so far as been definitely led to sth better. There was a phase where this was not the case, the dark night of the soul was kinda real for me. But now I feel my more integrated, and my quality of life - among other things - increased significantly.

I can begin to sense how much more potential there is as I still hold a lot of tension in my body (and thus, limits in my mind /self structure)

[Dima]

18 hours ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Sounds like you're doing some important shedding! Congratulations, you're moving through your own process. This can be a bit of a confusing time, like a time between worlds.

What was once there is dropping away and it's uncertain if it will be replaced or not. The confusion is a friend, sometimes it's useful to develop more independence here so other people are less relied on. The strange thing is, if there's a connection you're supposed to have with another it will be delivered to you irregardless of any effort. Sounds strange, but it's happened to me a few times! 

There can be more than this though. It was definitely a phase I went through, being a "more evolved self." Just live it through like there's nothing else to come and you'll naturally feel it's limits if you're willing to do the suffering. 

But the more evolved self is still just a self. What is it that needs this conditional connection a certain way? All these developmental stage theories are relative practical human truths, not absolute. Drop it all and there's no reason you can't connect with anyone. Then it's just up to how they react to their own mirrored reflection seen through you.

As things are getting more 'complicated' (in a good meaning) I think efforts are needed. If we are talking about deep meaningful connections - they are not given, they are elaborated, built, it require efforts, navigating conflicts etc. 

[Dima]

21 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I actually feel like it gets easier to meet and keep friends as I become more developed.  And I can relate with more people too because I care less about them being like me.  My preferences are real life relating but I also relate with a lot of people online too.  But nothing beats hanging out in person.

Agree on that physical interaction is needed.. True empathy can show up only IRL..
But also what makes a relationship deep and sustainable - alignment in values, worldview etc.. Physical attraction is good, but not enough..

[Dima]

21 hours ago, Hojo said:

I find it easier to connect and talk but something isn't there anymore. Me caring about a connection is gone. It feels different almost like I don't care about the person or the connection.

I used to want to build relationships and actively go seek it out and its kinda nice to have.

I feel null toward relationship.

I am not talking about romantic ones (though may be you mean all types of relationships).. Also - being for example at yellow stage - being a hermit - sort of a normal stage - you just know what to do and do it.. But ultimately when you grow further - you realize you still need people.. At least that's what I've realized.. And you don't need a lot of them.. 1-2 - but real true deep connections is enough..

[Dima]

18 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Easier to understand people, sure. But it turns into a game of acting where I pretend to relate with their worldview.

Otherwise they sense the nonchalantness from me.

And do you feel ultimately lonely because of it?

[Dima]

13 hours ago, Ramasta9 said:

On the contrary, it becomes easier to connect with others because you have integrated more of what most people are still struggling with.

Relationships become more evolved too, no longer shallow and based on apps and internet searches, but real, deep, meaningful experiences for growth and expansion and less about needs and wants, rather co-creation and walking side by side as equals.

 

cool )
How do you find these people? Do you have such peers?

Edited 1 hour ago by Dima

[Miguel1]

58 minutes ago, Dima said:

And do you feel ultimately lonely because of it?

Yes. I ”cry” about this here all the time. My nickname could be ”lonely” lol.

As an extrovert, it is extra bad. Introverts have it easy doing this work, in so many freaking ways.

I can make it manageable by socializing a ton to find a few rare gems here and there. I recently just broke up from a long term relationship so it definitely affects. In a year of socializing, I’m sure to find a few rare gems to add into my immediate circle of friends.

Also, finding and focusing on your life purpose is another key to deal with loneliness.

Getting more in touch with God is the ultimate solution. But this is not accesible for most.