VASECTOMY: I'm planning on doing it. -- Is my logic sound? Will I regret it?

[Lucasxp64]

27 Year Old Male, Brazilian. I can do it for free here, it has a wait time period of at least 2 months (60 days) even if I schedule it today.

I don't want kids right now, and I'd only ever want to have kids if I'm well developed in my personal development journey: Business, Life Purpose, Spiritual alignment, maturity in general, and having actual experience with romantic/sexual relationships.

I have no girlfriend, and I'm not hooking up.

Even though I'm not actively looking consistently for a sex, I once in a while do approaches, and I'm afraid I'll succeed and due to my dry spell of a lifetime I might end up being reckless. I did succeed 2 months ago, and I almost ended up fornicating without condom (she kept me from doing it, I did just finger her instead when we slept).

But on the other hand, if my future self wants to have children, the financial/medical barrier would work as a test to my willingness and a test to HER WILLINGNESS.

(and financial wealth, c'mon if I can't pocket the money I shouldn't have kids)

- In vitro fertilization, extracting the sperm from my testicles, or doing the reversal surgery, which I know loses effectiveness overtime, specially after over 10 year so the extraction from my testicle might be necessary and I should keep that in mind.

- Also I know possibly even with all of this, she might be unwilling to do the IVF procedure which can be somewhat painful to her, however, pregnancy is a hella of a risk much much greater than artificial insemination.

Which I know, it costs the range of a used car to an entry level car price (20k-100k BRL ~ 3.7k - 20k USD). Here are my estimates (I didn't do deep research, just brief):

Quote

     - Have pregnancy through IVF + genetic screening + and perhaps choosing the child gender

     - **TO REVERSE:** ==Save 15-30k BRL== (~$2,800 - $5,700 USD)

     - **TO DO IN VITRO ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION (+ genetic screening) :** ==20 - 60k BRL== (~$3,800 - $11,300 USD)
         - IVF/ICSI Cycle (for her): **15 - 25k BRL** (~$2,800 - $4,700 USD)
         - Sperm Aspiration (get sperm from my testicles): **3-5k BRL** (~$550 - $950 USD)
         - Medications (Her hormones, the older she is, the more expensive it gets): **5-12k BRL** (~$950 - $2,300 USD)
         - PGT-A (Genetic screening for the embryo): **1.5k to 3k BRL** per embryo (~$280 - $570 USD per embryo)

- I also see, if I'm going to have kids, I should have their embryo and my future wife screened for genetic diseases and incompatibility anyway to save the child, my wife and me the suffering of birthing a child with diseases that could have been screened out.

And having kids at the wrong time, with the wrong woman will be absolutely catastrophic to my self-development, and even to the health of a relationship and the child's future.

Most woman that liked me, they always say they want kids. Well, unfortunately, I don't think I'd have had kids with them because I didn't find them fit so far, but if I ever found someone, I think having to go through all of those procedures to get her pregnant would make it a deliberate move instead.

Or is there anything else here that I'm missing, that I'll regret?

I'm just concerned I might be burdening my future self with having to pocket a lot of money if I wanted children in the future, or making it impossible to have kids.

But the risk of unwanted pregnancy for means to me much more than not fathering biological children. I'm not a fundamentalist. I want just girlfriend, not raising a family.

Edited yesterday at 09:26 PM by Lucasxp64

[Recursoinominado]

24 minutes ago, Lucasxp64 said:

Or is there anything else here that I'm missing, that I'll regret?

You are missing what most people who don't want kids are missing: the profound emotional component of having kids. 

Kids give you the power of purpose. Want to fully self-actualize? Have a couple of kids and see yourself rise.

Also, Love and connection like you never had before. Ever had a pet you loved so much? Kids are like 10x that.

Usually, people who don't want kids list a bunch of "logical" reasons like finances, freedom etc. 

Logic won't do it, it is about emotions and connection, that's what you can't imagine because you don't know what you don't know.

It's like the shock during/after a deep psychedelic trip, you didn't even know that was possible, you were just confidently ignorant before it.  

[Lucasxp64]

It's not about the financial and personal freedom so much for my own selfish purpose. I see the idea of using kids to force me into purpose, the completely opposite. 

They can only happen in my life if I'm full of purpose and abundance.

If I'm in lack of purpose and abundance, my kids will be miserable, and my wife will treat me like complete shit, and reinforce a cycle.

Growing the child PREMATURELY. Instead of doing it later, eventually, in a fully planned manner, and give them a good life, and being a fully well-developed figure for them.

I see it the other way around, I see it as utter irresponsibility to my wife and children (if I decide on them). If it happens I must be completely ready.

Edited yesterday at 09:57 PM by Lucasxp64

[theleelajoker]

You're not hooking up. You not really looking to get laid, but SOMETIME it could happen that you do and succed. You say you might get so horny you forget the condom, so you maybe get one pregnant.

You don't want kids now. You think about your future self having kids. You think about HOW to do that in detail. You're not even 30,  even before your prime.

You want to get a vasectomy, taking away the chance to experience the mutual creation of life together with a woman. This is likely to decrease your chance with quite a few women that want kids natural way. 

I say your logic is bad as a condom with a hole inside. What's really behind this?

Edited yesterday at 09:56 PM by theleelajoker

[Lucasxp64]

49 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

You're not hooking up. You not really looking to get laid, but SOMETIME it could happen that you do and succed. You say you might get so horny you forget the condom, so you maybe get one pregnant.

You don't want kids now. You think about your future self having kids. You think about HOW to do that in detail. You're not even 30,  even before your prime.

You want to get a vasectomy, taking away the chance to experience the mutual creation of life together with a woman. This is likely to decrease your chance with quite a few women that want kids natural way. 

I say your logic is bad as a condom with a hole inside. What's really behind this?

I have a track record of several years and thousands of hours wasted in long-distance relationships, including some that they wanted A LOT to have children from me, but they were not right for me.

And, I had success with cold approach recently for women that live closely. I do approaches sometimes. I might end up succeeding again.

I want to lock-in. I don't want to make future mistakes that are even worst than my past mistakes.

Although, I can't go full monk mode for too long, I'm weak about women, I know myself.

I've fallen into the trap of letting relationships dominant in my mind, distracting me from the purpose and life I should build.

Here is the thing: I desperately want a woman and a stable committed relationship even, I'm not against commitment. I'm actually too much of a bitch for it, I'd get easily swayed into having a family under non-optimal conditions if she ends up wanting it (and if she seems the right person, and I didn't burn through that karma of relationships yet), and at the same time, I'm completely financially broke right now, and my career/business won't be optimal for quite a lot of time. I literally have 50 dollars in my account and living with my parents.

I cannot afford to take any risks that would distract me anymore, the small chance of getting someone pregnant even stacking all of that sounds weird, I know.

I'm basically wanting to tie my hands on my back to not let the siren's song lure me in the future.

I need to give myself a buffer against bad mistakes. Also I don't want kids, but I'm afraid a great future wife I might find would want them, and I might change idea, because I'm a very emotionally sensitive person.

Edited yesterday at 10:46 PM by Lucasxp64

[Peo]

36 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

Usually, people who don't want kids list a bunch of "logical" reasons like finances, freedom etc. 

Yeah, human production is expensive.

You describe me perfectly. I am a hyper logical guy. I will never understand the logic behind having children. 

[Sugarcoat]

Why does this post feel like it all boils down to you not wanting to use condom? 🤣

You can be with woman who is on birth control. I haven’t googled this but I guess with some birth control it’s safe enough to skip condom in terms of pregnancy risk

Also even if she happens to get pregnant. Make sure whenever you’re with a girl, that she doesn’t want kids or that she’d never have kid if the father doesn’t want it. Maybe it feels weird to bring up if it’s just short term. It’s kinda like asking if someone is tested for std. But I mean its better than being unwanted father…

If she is set on that, in worst case if she gets pregnant she’s gonna 100 % have abortion  (if country allows abortion, if not then its bigger problem and stronger precautions when having sex are needed)

Edited yesterday at 10:33 PM by Sugarcoat

[Lucasxp64]

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Why does this post feel like it all boils down to you not wanting to use condom? 🤣

🤣😝 I'm afraid the damn thing will explode into pieces with my sheer dryness of a lifetime of lack of good sex.

[theleelajoker]

1 minute ago, Lucasxp64 said:

I feel into the trap before of letting relationships dominant in my mind, distracting me from the purpose and life I should build.

Given this, vasectomy is like saying: 

I want to live healthier. I want to move more, so I destroy all radiators in my home. I will be so cold, I MUST move. And then, due to exhaustion, you freeze to death first night in your sleep. 

I know it's Brasil, it's not cold , just making point 😄🇧🇷

You don't trust yourself to put a condom on, but you trust yourself in the decision re giving away the chance to create kids naturally?

And you don't trust yourself to not have dominant thoughts about relationships, but you trust in the idea that a vasectomy will solve your focus on life purpose?

Lot's of love to Brazil my friend, you do you and I don't know you. 

But if one of my friends would say the same arguments, I would tell him that he's crazy and not seeing clearly. 

If there's was no way to make him reconsider the idea, I would tell him to keep his intention but just to wait with it for a few months. (Because I see a very good chance that he will change his mind and be thankful later) 

Just an opinion of a stranger - may be I'm completely wrong 

 

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Lucasxp64 said:

🤣😝 I'm afraid the damn thing will explode into pieces with my sheer dryness of a lifetime of lack of good sex.

Lube?

[Lucasxp64]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

Lube?

I don't think there is lube for bad luck 😂.

... But, actually I found 40 dollars a couple of days ago. Two 100 Brazilian real crisp bills.

It pays for a lot of condoms tho.

[Peo]

Only logic I see behind having a child if you were to marry a princess, who will inherit the throne and become a queen. Then you would have to produce an heir. 

Does Brazil have a monarchy? 

[theleelajoker]

9 minutes ago, Peo said:

Only logic I see behind having a child if you were to marry a princess, who will inherit the throne and become a queen. Then you would have to produce an heir. 

Does Brazil have a monarchy? 

The stable boy can do that job. Just pick the one that looks most similar...

[Lucasxp64]

2 minutes ago, Peo said:

Only logic I see behind having a child if you were to marry a princess, who will inherit the throne and become a queen. Then you would have to produce an heir. 

Does Brazil have a monarchy? 

 

Queen Maria II. I couldn't pull it out, "come inside, honey". The crocodile will be the godfather. 😂

 

[Recursoinominado]

1 hour ago, Lucasxp64 said:

Growing the child PREMATURELY. Instead of doing it later, eventually, in a fully planned manner, and give them a good life, and being a fully well-developed figure for them.

You will never be ready; there is no finish line.

[Raze]

You can freeze your sperm 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

It would make kinda sense especially these days since everyone's retarded. I wouldn't do it tho (and don't even have to eheheh)

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

It would make kinda sense especially these days since everyone's retarded. I wouldn't do it tho (and don't even have to eheheh)