P. Ralston on unnecessary suffering - avoidance?

[Wilhelm44]

9 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

+1

That's about it.

See Lisa Barrett Feldman's "Theory of constructed emotions" or Chris Neubauer "No self, no problem", as two examples for research that supports that hypothesis.

Once the insight is triggered, it's miraculous how much influence you can have on your emotions and state of mind.

Lot's of freedom to be gained. 

 

 

Cheers, Im really enjoying Chris's channel, i like his subtle questioning style.

[Someone here]

16 hours ago, Hello1 said:

You're doing it! Just stop doing it!" 

Easy..if you are doing it then It's indeed unnecessary suffering..in which case you should stop doing it if you wish to not suffer. 

I'm not talking no self or neo advaita type of message..I mean if you had an embarrassing situation yesterday then you can't stop thinking about it and you can't fall asleep because of that and your thoughts are bothering you like this 🤪..then you should tell yourself like look ..I understand logically that first of all what has happened has happened and the past can't be changed. I understand logically it wasn't really my fault.i understand logically that no amount of thinking and worrying will resolve worrying and thinking. Then breathe and notice the people in your head (thoughts ) fighting and you step outside and say "cool guys keep fighting..I'm going to bed though ".

 

 

[Breakingthewall]

If, for example, you operate on scales of evaluation, comparison, and categorization of the reality, you will suffer if you don't reach certain standards. You will live in tension, and all your relationships will be permeated by this quality. The best part is that you won't realize this, so you'll turn to spirituality, and voila! This will give you a higher status. And so you'll continue dancing that dance without knowing you're doing it.

How, according to Ralston, will you stop suffering if your entire psychological system is programmed to categorize? Listening to Ralston for a few minutes, it becomes clear that he is not free from this; he looks at himself, he has a self-image that is always present. What he does is self-control the consequence while leaving the cause untouched. Low. Old self help.

[TruthFreedom]

I was just thinking about how to overcome existential dread. If you sit still long enough then you start to contemplate your own death. I have been trying for ages to get rid of this existential fear, but it seems impossible. If you sit in silence long enough you realise literally everything you are doing is to distract yourself from death. Even coming on this forum. Sorry to break it to y'all. 

Leo has talked before about people who have overcome their fear of death. I find that hard to believe. 

And people are also talking about "drama" in this thread. It seems that "drama" is a cover-all word for people genuinely expressing their emotions, which is bullshit. Emotions does not equal drama. If someone gets angry, they are not automatically being dramatic.

Anyway, here I am distracting myself from death again. 😭

[Breakingthewall]

26 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Easy..if you are doing it then It's indeed unnecessary suffering..in which case you should stop doing it if you wish to not suffer. 

Yes it's easy. If the Congolese guerrillas tell you that in two hours you'll be roasted on a grill, why are you suffering? Use those two hours to be happy! Are you being roasted NOW? No. Fool, why are you suffering? Enjoy this time! These foolish humans. (condescending chuckle with faded shirt partially open)

[Breakingthewall]

1 minute ago, TruthFreedom said:

existential dread. If you sit still long enough then you start to contemplate your own death. I have been trying for ages to get rid of this existential fear, but it seems impossible. If you sit in silence long enough you realise literally everything you are doing is to distract yourself from death. Even coming on this forum. Sorry to break it to y'all. 

There is only one way: to reconnect with your essence. You are reality expressed in a form; there is no death, only change. You don't know what that change will be; it's irrelevant. It is reality, it is what you are. You are always home; you are the total cosmos flowing within itself, and there are no boundaries. Knowing this is useless; you have to perceive it all the time, and to do so, you must break your limits.

[Someone here]

@Breakingthewall happy new year .love and light and pink Unicorns 😂. 

 

[theleelajoker]

4 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Yes it's easy. If the Congolese guerrillas tell you that in two hours you'll be roasted on a grill, why are you suffering? Use those two hours to be happy! Are you being roasted NOW? No. Fool, why are you suffering? Enjoy this time! These foolish humans. (condescending chuckle with faded shirt partially open)

There is REAL fear and pain, and there is ABSTRACT one.  First one is suffering and can be eliminated.

Look at the former, and see how you can stop creating it. It really is that simple, just requires practice. It's really that simple. Why on earth would you a) believe in something else and b) even argue against it? 

Love and light and pink unicorns!  

Edited 2 hours ago by theleelajoker

[TruthFreedom]

1 minute ago, Breakingthewall said:

There is only one way: to reconnect with your essence. You are reality expressed in a form; there is no death, only change. You don't know what that change will be; it's irrelevant. It is reality, it is what you are. You are always home; you are the total cosmos flowing within itself, and there are no boundaries. Knowing this is useless; you have to perceive it all the time, and to do so, you must break your limits.

I connect with my essence all the time man! Like, I'm constantly aware of my inner body etc. 

But as a feeble mammal, survival is something that cannot be overcome. My whole system is telling me I'm in mortal threat of oblivion, which could come at any time.

If people are honest, that's the whole reason they get addicted to drugs or alcohol, or anything

[Breakingthewall]

Just now, theleelajoker said:

There is REAL fear and pain, and there is ABSTRACT one.  First one is suffering and can be eliminated.

Look at the former, and see how you can stop creating it. It really is that simple, just requires practice. It's really that simple. Why on earth would you a) believe in something else and b) even argue against it? 

 

What if you suffer a lot because your dick measures 2 cm and your girlfriend loves parties with horses? Or if your son has cancer? Or if you are old and no one talks to you? Or if you are a woman in Afghanistan? Or if you have any neurological disease that prevents serotonin flow correctly and you are in a severe depression? Or if your father hates you because you are not an engineer? Or if your mother is addicted to metanfetamine and fuck 10 homeless every day?

[Breakingthewall]

4 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

connect with my essence all the time man! Like, I'm constantly aware of my inner body etc. 

I didn't mean that, I meant being connected with your absolute nature.

[TruthFreedom]

I wish I was a cat sometimes. Completely unaware of their mortality.

[theleelajoker]

3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

What if you suffer a lot because your dick measures 2 cm and your girlfriend loves parties with horses? Or if your son has cancer? Or if you are old and no one talks to you? Or if you are a woman in Afghanistan? Or if you have any neurological disease that prevents serotonin flow correctly and you are in a severe depression? Or if your father hates you because you are not an engineer? Or if your mother is addicted to metanfetamine and fuck 10 homeless every day?

Accept. 

If you have troubles accepting?

Accept that you can't accept.

What if you can't accept not accepting?

Accept that you can't accept to not accept. 

What if you.....

 

(credit to Alan Watts)

Edited 2 hours ago by theleelajoker

[TruthFreedom]

Just now, Breakingthewall said:

I didn't mean that, I meant being connected with your absolute nature.

Explain in your own experience how you have achieved that.

[Breakingthewall]

Just now, TruthFreedom said:

Explain in your own experience how you have achieved that.

You must dissolve the barriers that limit you and become limitless full-time. The only way to do this is to perceive your limitations and desire to dissolve them. It is very serious work that requires total will and total dedication, since these barriers are inherent to human beings; they are evolutionary energetic barriers created for the viability of complex life.

What you must do is not trivial; it is a total conquest, a phase shift in what it means to be human, and no one can tell you how to do it. Only you can understand what limits you, and only you can intuit how to open those doors.

[Breakingthewall]

6 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

Accept. 

If you have troubles accepting?

Accept that you can't accept.

What if you can't accept not accepting?

Accept that you can't accept to not accept. 

What if you.....

 

(credit to Alan Watts)

That doesn't work. That's categorizing problems as those that justify suffering and those that don't, implying that suffering for A isn't legitimate but suffering for B is.

Wrong. Suffering is suffering, and it's always a sign that something is wrong. If you're suffering terribly because you're second in your university promotion, you won't solve it by observing that suffering and letting it go, but by understanding your entire psychological structure and how and why it categorizes things, why you need to be number one, what triggers your emotional system, built in childhood, that compels you to do that and makes you suffer more than being burned with a hot iron. Its much more deeper. 

[theleelajoker]

18 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

That doesn't work. That's categorizing problems as those that justify suffering and those that don't, implying that suffering for A isn't legitimate but suffering for B is.

Wrong. Suffering is suffering, and it's always a sign that something is wrong. If you're suffering terribly because you're second in your university promotion, you won't solve it by observing that suffering and letting it go, but by understanding your entire psychological structure and how and why it categorizes things, why you need to be number one, what triggers your emotional system, built in childhood, that compels you to do that and makes you suffer more than being burned with a hot iron. Its much more deeper. 

That's one way of looking at things. 

Used to think similarly. Not anymore. 

What changed? 

I stopped doing it. 

Edited 2 hours ago by theleelajoker

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Here we go... 

@Breakingthewall love & light & pink unicorns 🤍🤍🤍

[Breakingthewall]

8 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

That's one way of looking at things. 

The point is that Ralston places suffering on one side and you on the other. Then "you," whatever that is, are deciding whether or not to suffer. Things aren't like that. What you are isn't the deciding center, but rather the entire human energy complex that activates according to certain impulses, based on an evolutionary and social programming that creates real structures, neurological pathways as real as your bones. "You" can't decide not to suffer because you are that suffering.

[theleelajoker]

Just now, Breakingthewall said:

The point is that Ralston places suffering on one side and you on the other. Then "you," whatever that is, are deciding whether or not to suffer. Things aren't like that. What you are isn't the deciding center, but rather the entire human energy complex that activates according to certain impulses, based on an evolutionary and social programming that creates real structures, neurological pathways as real as your bones. "You" can't decide not to suffer because you are that suffering.

What happens if you stop believing that?