How to practice approaching women?

[Inliytened1]

17 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Yes it shouldn't take much more than few minutes to see if she is hooked or not.

Being personable is key here   That should be a separate topic and I am sure Leo has a video on it.  But you have to be personable and be able to be talk to people. 

[BlessedLion]

If i had never done pick up or cold approach and learned those skills, to create connection with a total stranger outside of an already established social circle, i'd probably have had 75-80% less sex in my life

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, BlessedLion said:

You gotta just do it and treat the rejection, cringe, and failures as exposure therapy. Use it as a meditation to sit with those parts of you that feel not enough and awkward, bask in the pain of it, enjoy the sting of it. This is the only way to truly keep it sustainable because if you spin into stories of being a loser, socially weird, etc every time you go out it will be miserable and you'll give up. You have to make it fun, don't do gimmicky shit, be yourself. 

 

It's actually a great training field for training your mind and healing parts of yourself, cuts right to the ego. You can turn it into a craft or path of mastery even.

Exactly. 

It's more about how personable you can be.  See how we are so easily doing it here? Transfer it to that domain.  Actually it really isn't a separate domain.  Thats the key. 

[Zen LaCroix]

You don't realize that 30 women in a week is actually low volume. That's 5 women a day for a week or 10 a day if you're going out 3 days a week

[Inliytened1]

13 minutes ago, Zen LaCroix said:

You don't realize that 30 women in a week is actually low volume. That's 5 women a day for a week or 10 a day if you're going out 3 days a week

30 women what approaching or full conquest?

If your goal in life is to conquest women congrats.   It will get you nowhere.

Hopefully your goal is to find someone long term.

Edited 13 hours ago by Inliytened1

[aurum]

13 hours ago, fopylo said:

And how do I practice approaching in a pragmatic measurable way that makes sense?

I wouldn't worry about measuring your results.

Just focus on breaking down your nights deeply after you go out. You could journal, talk about it or just contemplate. Whatever way you like best to process. But spend a lot of time making sense of your interactions.

You'll naturally adjust as you see your mistakes.

[Leo Gura]

Do not try to reinvent this wheel. Follow the proper protocol for learning game. If you try to invent your own way you will fail.

Edited 8 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Zen LaCroix]

5 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

30 women what approaching or full conquest?

If your goal in life is to conquest women congrats.   It will get you nowhere.

Hopefully your goal is to find someone long term.

You're projecting onto me. You don't know what I want.

I don't know what you mean by full conquest.  A lot of you guys have such an aversion to learning cold approach and that's fine. But don't act like it's not coming from a place of fear. 

The original poster is a newbie who stuck in his logical brain and has poor social skills based on what he telling us. He can start of light and work his way up to 30 a week. But if he wants to get even decent he's gonna have to approach way more than that

Approaching a lot gets you in the zone and forces you to notice patterns. Also you just get a lot more social experience approaching more. That gives more opportunites to meet girls where there's attraction both ways along with good logistics. 

 

[fopylo]

9 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

Scanning the girl to see if you would sleep with her? Bro would you approach a ground hog? Come on now.  What's your spectrum? Fat girls? Skinny ones? Pretty?  I dont even think you have to add that to list because you arent going to approach a woman you dont want. 

@Inliytened1

Yes of course and I think this is actually something important from the video. I want it to be congruent, to look at a girl and think "I would want to have sex with her", and not just "oh a woman, let's quickly approach". I would rather not sleep with a woman that I'll later tell myself that it was out of desperation and that I wasn't even that into her

[fopylo]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, you gotta jump into the cold pool. There is no easy way about it.

Say stupid shit break out of your logical mind.

Solo is insanely hard. Find a wingman.

@Leo Gura

But your video was slightly confusing in the sense of the opening. You said there's the approach of coming up with they "Hey, I liked your vibe and wanted to come say hi" and then the opener of just saying whatever (observational assumption) like "you look like a waitress, are you?"

Do I do both of them, only the first or the second? What is the most important here?

[fopylo]

@Zen LaCroix

5 hours ago, Zen LaCroix said:

You don't realize that 30 women in a week is actually low volume. That's 5 women a day for a week or 10 a day if you're going out 3 days a week

I mean yes, it isn't a crazy number... If it is just simple approaches like asking for directions or complimenting her costume, shirt... But bro it does overwhelm me thinking of approaching 10, even 5 women at an outing trying to be playful with them. I'm just a newbie, be easy on me hahaha

[fopylo]

@Inliytened1

5 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

Hopefully your goal is to find someone long term.

Long term partner honestly seems great, but I'm currently traveling a bit and I know it isn't really sustainable. My goal now is to just try to have more experiences with women. After all I want to learn better what I like. I found I prefer darker skinned women (latina, brownish), a little short but not a dwarf, and cute (maybe I'm biased for being in Thailand now 😂). But I want to have somewhat of a sex life before, and even experience going out for dates

[Zenterus]

@fopylo

Man with 10 years of cold approach experience here.

Look dude, you're overthinking this and the comments here are not helping you much.

Forget about scanning the girl to make sure you actually like her, forget about having elaborate openers and the right way to do this, etc.

Whenever you're learning anything new you have to small chunk it: Pick the one main thing that you absolutely need to work on yo get to the next level and once you've mastered that then move onto the next.

Right now your main issue is approaching, so focus on that and forget everything else.

This is what you're going to do every day: You approach 3 women a day. That's it. 

Whether is at a bar, the mall, the street, the grocery story, doesn't matter. Approach 3 women a day directly.

Don't worry if you want to have sex with them or not, don't worry about their attractiveness, don't worry about having a conversation. You're not there yet.

These are all things that you can worry about later after you stop shitting your pants at the idea of approaching.

For now, all you should be doing is approaching 3 women a day.

Everytime you see a woman, just mustet up to courage to go up to her and say "Hey. I'm on my way to [the gym/school/work/wherever] but I have to say you look amazing!"

That's it. Thats 1 out of 3 approaches for the day. After you do that then you're free to walk away. You won.

If you end up having a conversation then great! If you end up getting her number, awesome! But thats not your mission, those are just extras. 

Your criteria for success is going out, approaching a girl, saying the above line as smoothly or as badly as you can muster and then walking away and doing that for a week straight. Simple.

Master that and then we can talk about the next steps.

[Inliytened1]

1 hour ago, Zen LaCroix said:

You're projecting onto me. You don't know what I want.

I don't know what you mean by full conquest.  A lot of you guys have such an aversion to learning cold approach and that's fine. But don't act like it's not coming from a place of fear. 

The original poster is a newbie who stuck in his logical brain and has poor social skills based on what he telling us. He can start of light and work his way up to 30 a week. But if he wants to get even decent he's gonna have to approach way more than that

Approaching a lot gets you in the zone and forces you to notice patterns. Also you just get a lot more social experience approaching more. That gives more opportunites to meet girls where there's attraction both ways along with good logistics. 

 

 

I don't think I was projecting onto you i was asking.  And you answered that it is approach.  What i meant by conquest is sleeping with her.  One and done.   As for the volume of approaching girls that type of volume seems way to high for a guy still developing his social skills.

This isnt a science but I love how these guys made it such.  And you follow.  Give me a statistical report of how you are doing.  By the way - again..end goal?  What is it.  If it's conquest I can tell u that gets old but I guess its cool while it is fun. 

Edited 6 hours ago by Inliytened1

[fopylo]

@Zenterus

Ok, I'm gonna go for a bit of a walk today. I'm gonna use what has been mentioned here regarding warm up approaches on the way - gotta get in state (woke up not too long ago and want to be in some flow). To be honest, it does scare me a bit to do it and I must warm up for saying such a line. I also don't want to push myself too hard but I do appreciate what you wrote.

I'll have my lunch now and then head out and will update how it went.