Leaving tinder and always coming back months later

[pablo_aka_god]

I've seen this pattern in myself and in a lot of Tinder users.

I sign up during lonely times with a lot of hope, pay for the premium subscription and spend dozens of hours swiping and trying to have a normal convo with people who show little interest.

after 2 months I may have a date with a wage slave(and sometimes mentally unstable) girl and nothing may happen bc I'm not attracted to the girl or if girl is slightly fuckable we have sex (this happens once in a while). I end up not wanting to see the girl again after one or a few times due to wanting something better.

Then I realize Tinder is bad for me and need to get out and do cold approach so I leave.

4 months after I'm still alone and on a lonely day I signup again and everything happens again.

had this happened to you? were you able to break out?

 

[Sugarcoat]

58 minutes ago, pablo_aka_god said:

slightly fuckable

It feels like I’m in a guys locker room 😭😂

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

It feels like I’m in a guys locker room 😭😂

Men don't usually talk like that; he's just being frustrated and anonymous on a forum.

Men are much nicer than women in average when they talk about the opposite sex.

Edited yesterday at 05:31 PM by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, pablo_aka_god said:

 

4 months after I'm still alone and on a lonely day I signup again and everything happens again.

had this happened to you? were you able to break out?

 

This week when the weather is good where I am I will take some missing photos and make a Hinge account, but I hate dating sites in general.

I don't see the point in wasting time sleeping with random girls; I haven't had a girlfriend/non-commercial relationship in 22 years, on top of being physically tortured by severe insomnia,and before severe eating disorders, and even before other problems I won't go into.

And it's okay, I didn't commit suicide or fall into depression; it's probably better to wait than to wallow in some kind of bad karma, I think.

Edited yesterday at 05:30 PM by Schizophonia

[pablo_aka_god]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

It feels like I’m in a guys locker room 😭😂

@SugarcoatLOL!! I'm trying to be as honest as possible even if it doesn't sound right. This us uncensored content direct from my stream of consciousness 

 

[aurum]

@pablo_aka_god it sounds like you’re not catching serious momentum with cold approach.

If you were doing well with cold approach, you would forget all about Tinder.

[pablo_aka_god]

4 minutes ago, aurum said:

@pablo_aka_god it sounds like you’re not catching serious momentum with cold approach.

If you were doing well with cold approach, you would forget all about Tinder.

@aurum Exactly! I do cold approach for a few months and feel discouraged because I may spend months without a single lay and that's when I fall back into Tinder.

[Princess Arabia]

43 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

This week when the weather is good where I am I will take some missing photos and make a Hinge account, but I hate dating sites in general.

I don't see the point in wasting time sleeping with random girls; I haven't had a girlfriend/non-commercial relationship in 22 years, on top of being physically tortured by severe insomnia,and before severe eating disorders, and even before other problems I won't go into.

And it's okay, I didn't commit suicide or fall into depression; it's probably better to wait than to wallow in some kind of bad karma, I think.

It's a shame because you're one of the very few guys I see on here whose not just looking to get into a girls pants. You seem to genuinely like females, respect them and are desiring them from a place of love not lust. Love as in just loving women on a whole and not just seeing them as fuckable machines. 

The other males that are like you aren't in this section and are either married or already in long-term relationships. Be patient, your turn will come just talk to females more often and be genuine. 

[Sugarcoat]

31 minutes ago, pablo_aka_god said:

@SugarcoatLOL!! I'm trying to be as honest as possible even if it doesn't sound right. This us uncensored content direct from my stream of consciousness 

 

I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong, I was being funny

When you’re having sex, it’s not a requirement to be massively attracted or connected to them. Sometimes someone just wants to satisfy their libido 

As long as one respects the other  person in the process it’s fine I think 

 

[pablo_aka_god]

38 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's a shame because you're one of the very few guys I see on here whose not just looking to get into a girls pants. You seem to genuinely like females, respect them and are desiring them from a place of love not lust. Love as in just loving women on a whole and not just seeing them as fuckable machines. 

The other males that are like you aren't in this section and are either married or already in long-term relationships. Be patient, your turn will come just talk to females more often and be genuine. 

@Princess Arabia Thank you! finally someone that gets me 

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's a shame

Thanks that's kind; It's true that I am so deserving.💅

Quote

because you're one of the very few guys I see on here whose not just looking to get into a girls pants. You seem to genuinely like females, respect them and are desiring them from a place of love not lust. Love as in just loving women on a whole and not just seeing them as fuckable machines. 

I believe that this is the case for most men who are not psychopaths, especially here given that men are a bit more smart and/or sensitive than average; but you may get the opposite impression because of coping mechanisms to avoid the pain of humiliation/dissatisfaction.

These mechanisms don't work as well for me, maybe because of my upbringing or who knows, but they're still there; look at my comment, you can see the underlying attempt to make me play the hero/victim and avoid paying the karmic bills with my story of "yeaaaa, at 22 I didn't have that, I lived through that, look how strong I am compared to you, blablabla"

 

But being honest and accepting suffering is what will ultimately allow me to win in fine.

Quote

The other males that are like you aren't in this section and are either married or already in long-term relationships. Be patient, your turn will come just talk to females more often and be genuine. 

Thanks again.

I haven't been able to meet girls because of health problems and social/geographic isolation, and because I'm in a bad frequency in general; I'm too full of anger/frustration.

Also a strange karma that pushes me to flirt, to give my energy to girls who don't want me or are even ultimately quite bad (you see there I'd like to say "low-quality girl" to hurt and inflate my ego but it's not good ), and to (less true now) reject girls who actually really desire me. 

 

Edited yesterday at 07:43 PM by Schizophonia

[Leo Gura]

Keep suffering. When the pain becomes too great you'll change.

[Sugarcoat]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Men don't usually talk like that; he's just being frustrated and anonymous on a forum.

Men are much nicer than women in average when they talk about the opposite sex.

I don’t know enough people to know if that’s true or not 

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t know enough people to know if that’s true or not 

I may have gone too far in being mean.

I'm pretty sure that women are more reactive, both positively and negatively.

 

[Sugarcoat]

18 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I may have gone too far in being mean.

I'm pretty sure that women are more reactive, both positively and negatively.

 

I think women are generally more emotional and more expressive in their emotions.

But I think men cling just as much to their beliefs, they cling to a certain self image they wanna have. They might even be more likely to develop hatred/resentment to people. So all those things can cause reactivity, but they way men express it might make it seem they’re less reactive 

[CARDOZZO]

Dopamine. 

You do not have to expose yourself, it's convenient. If you are extremely horny, go see a escort or go to a club 3AM.

[Schizophonia]

31 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I think women are generally more emotional and more expressive in their emotions.

But I think men cling just as much to their beliefs, they cling to a certain self image they wanna have. They might even be more likely to develop hatred/resentment to people. So all those things can cause reactivity, but they way men express it might make it seem they’re less reactive 

In doubt I'll simply retract what I said.

I see cope in both men and women

[Sugarcoat]

11 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

In doubt I'll simply retract what I said.

I see cope in both men and women

I’m like that too i can change my mind

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’m like that too i can change my mind

Yea we're very intelligent so it's normal.

Especially me.

Edited 22 hours ago by Schizophonia

[aurum]

3 hours ago, pablo_aka_god said:

@aurum Exactly! I do cold approach for a few months and feel discouraged because I may spend months without a single lay and that's when I fall back into Tinder.

Then you got to find a solution to why cold approach isn't working for you.

Forget about Tinder for a while and purely focus on that.

Do you need different venues to go out? Do you need to move cities? More theory? Approach anxiety? A different style?

Where is the biggest place you're struggling with cold approach?