How do you change at the core?

[Princess Arabia]

You might want to go through this thread I made last year; might find some gems there for what you're looking for.

[Miguel1]

There's a lot you can do to change yourself but core remains a core by definition.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 hours ago, amberlight said:

Im not sure. basically my conditioning and identiy as a whole like everyone i would say.
The human mind is very slow and puts up a bunch of friction to make big changes, and they take a long time to get set.

What i am wondering is how i can loosen up my mind to make changes easier, ways to to kindof program my mind to aid in these changes. 
Or if there is no such things, just tips for how to grind it out and stay on track.

I do not know what happened with myself to achieve this.

I used to get in my own way all the time.

One day I begun to stop judging experiences as good or bad. Wanted or unwanted. I begun to look at each task as a set of sounds, textures, lights and smells. I deconstructed my senses until I lost some of my ability to define a task or thing. So for example - I used to hate folding the laundry. After this transition, the laundry folding became a game of colours and textures in my hands. Fun digging out socks and pairing them up. Then the sensations of drawers opening, hangers clanging... the pretty visuals of neatly folded fabrics

Now I simply move through life from the next task/experience to the next. My only aim is 'the next step I take must enhance the probability of something maybe occurring in a later time' This reduced my mental chatter down to almost zero. So I just operate on the principal I am taking the action to enhance probabilities all over my life experience. 'Will this increase the probability of X?'

I do this in my career building medical facilities. I just move from one experience to the next with priority on enhancing probability and not deeming anything good or bad. It is all just sensory data that could lead to a surprise - or desired outcome. Because nothing is in my control. At all.

Not sure if this helps - but it removed all resistance within me.

[Yimpa]

Just dew it. Over and over and over again and again and again. 

[Entrepreneur]

On 12/1/2025 at 11:11 AM, amberlight said:

I have improved plenty lately, but I feel like I can improve so much faster if I learn more about this subject. I want more than just simple goal setting and habit tracking, and all that.
How do you change fundamentally as a person, at the core?

What are some authors/sources, practices, and sub-fields, or personal experiences you guys have when it comes to this topic?

Thanks 

Great topic!

For me, it comes down to learning ideas from others (authors, podcasts, videos, discussions like this, mentors, etc.) and then figuring out how I can implement the best of those ideas into my life.   I think the vast majority of humanity does the first part (gathering ideas) but not the second part (figuring out how to implement the best ideas into their daily life).  I am also largely guilty of doing this for most of my life.  Still do it frequently, but I have definitely gotten better at implementing things.

Implementing big changes has been a slow process for me.  I learn, learn, learn, eventually convince myself to make a different decision and commitment, then actually make a change in my life for the better.  For example, everyone has been told repeatedly since childhood that daily exercise is important for their health.  Yet how many people actually carve time out of every workday to do it?  Everyone knows it is important and agrees they "should" do it, yet only a small percentage does.

Even rarer, I bet, is the adult who didn't already have the habit of regular exercise since their teenage years or college years, who successfully implements it later in life.

In my case, I knew my whole life that it was important.  Yet from age 18 until around age 35 I didn't do it very often.   I took my health for granted and didn't even think about exercising.  I would sit at my kitchen table and drink draft beer from my Kegerator before I would throw on sweatpants and a T-shirt and go for a run.

Even when I finally began thinking I should "really" implement a daily exercise habit, the change still took me a long time and many attempts before it stuck.  Leading up to that point, I read about it being important.   I heard about it.  I watched videos about it.   I had discussions about it.   But the transformation didn't occur until I firmly decided it was truly important enough.  This decision then caused me to move it way up my list of priorities in life.   All of those times hearing about it, talking about it, and reading about it were slowly stacking logical reasons for me to implement it.   The real transformation occurred when I felt the emotional shift inside me to knowing (being utterly undeniably convinced to my core) that I must implement this habit if I am to truly enjoy life to its fullest.

Now, a couple of decades later, I am a man who exercises every workday, almost without exception.   In fact, the change is so profound that if I don't workout at some point during the day, I feel like my day is incomplete and somewhat unsatisfying.   I must workout each day to feel like it was a good day.  (Just weekdays though- I can workout or not workout on weekends.  It doesn't bother me if I don't.)

Edited Wednesday at 05:32 PM by Entrepreneur

[amberlight]

@Entrepreneur
Logical reasons is only the start of making new habits and directions.
Logic is good for finding and prioritizing things you want to change in your life but.
Its when you really feel and connect with what you want to do on an emotional level, in your actual doing of it that the habit sticks.

Lets say you go on the internet and you find out about meditation or cardio exercise and its logical reasons for participating in it.
The logic might be enough to try it for a couple weeks. But the logic isn't really enough to convince your mind that its worth the energy.

Its when you really feel and see the potential of it its positive effects that it really becomes a part of who you are, and if you don't create this connection you will eventually fail.
The question is then:
What conscious actions can you partake in to create this emotional connection to whatever you want to implement into your life?

Edited yesterday at 08:34 AM by amberlight

[amberlight]

@Leo Gura
I have heard that you are creating a course on changing you subconscious mind.
Could you share your favorite books on the topic on your book list, or other sources etc on your blog?
Thanks

[Ramasta9]

Behaviour is the biggest player here, and deep internal house cleaning.

Cleaning up and purifying yourself from the inside out, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, no magic pill, no drugs really needed. They can help, but its really about releasing and dropping everything we have picked up from this world and remembering who we were before the world told us who and how to be, and sometimes that requires a deep cleanse and fast or detox from the world and all the things contained in it.

Do you remember the little you before they gave you a name? Can you be that you without holding back? Even if its hiding in your room and in private, be that you, that's wild, free, silly, crazy, pure, magnificent, creative and endlessly playful, with no judgements or limitations on your ways or natural expression, remember her, or him, reunite, marry yourself in the deepest sense, then come out into the world, and shine baby, shine ! 

Because your core my love, doesn't need changing at all, its already pure brilliance, absolute potential, infinite love !

Its only that we become like onions with many layers, and we just have to start gradually peeling those layers off, and you notice the core of an onion is the brightest:? or the heart of the watermelon is the sweetest? 

It all starts with a smile  

 

[Entrepreneur]

5 hours ago, amberlight said:

@Entrepreneur
Logical reasons is only the start of making new habits and directions.
Logic is good for finding and prioritizing things you want to change in your life but.
Its when you really feel and connect with what you want to do on an emotional level, in your actual doing of it that the habit sticks.

Lets say you go on the internet and you find out about meditation or cardio exercise and its logical reasons for participating in it.
The logic might be enough to try it for a couple weeks. But the logic isn't really enough to convince your mind that its worth the energy.

Its when you really feel and see the potential of it its positive effects that it really becomes a part of who you are, and if you don't create this connection you will eventually fail.
The question is then:
What conscious actions can you partake in to create this emotional connection to whatever you want to implement into your life?

I agree completely.

For me, every time I give myself a logical reason, I feel like it triggers my emotions just a tiny bit - maybe one tenth as much or even less.   Then, if I dwell on those reasons and think deeply about them, it will stir up more emotion.  So by stacking the logical reasons and thinking about them deeply enough for long enough repeatedly over enough time, I can deeply "convince" myself of the importance of whatever it is - like in the case of daily exercise.   Eventually, I reach a tipping point where I know I am convinced without question that this new habit must be part of my life.  I then have conviction in my decision.  I must make the time for it.   My day will suck if I don't do it.

For a big change like daily exercise, the process can take months or even years depending on how much time and effort you put into convincing yourself.   It also depends on how big the change is and how much resistance you currently feel toward making the change.   

I think of these periodic efforts to make the positive change as being tiny monetary deposits into an investment account that is going to pay off over the rest of my life once I start drawing on it.