TheGod

How to face loneliness?

42 posts in this topic

@Natasha Tori Maru Lonely. And it's more than a concept - it's felt deeply as a kind of constant background sense, even when we're surrounded by people. The function of distraction often seems to be to cover up this raw condition. 

It's not that entertainment and socializing are bad or should be avoided - just in case some people start assuming that. Again, it's much deeper and real. 

Krishnamurti probably explained it better above. 

We assume and live as an entity within an internal world that no one but us can enter. Your existence as a self is already inherently isolating. Check your experience for this fact - it might be ultimately untrue, but we don't know that. Our experience certainly suggests otherwise. And it's all very personal and intimate.

"[...] and you know the feeling very well." 

Edited by UnbornTao

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@UnbornTao Right - it makes me think some are answering in the two separate ways.

Lonely is assumed inherent to the human condition?

The series Neon Genesis: Evangelion is a great study on this concept. Not just a silly mecha anime at all. Deep concepts.

I probably say this as I just finished rewatching it :)


Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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16 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Right - it makes me think some are answering in the two separate ways.

Lonely is assumed inherent to the human condition?

The series Neon Genesis: Evangelion is a great study on this concept. Not just a silly mecha anime at all. Deep concepts.

I probably say this as I just finished rewatching it :)

Do you like animes?:P

Never watched Eva but If you consume anime eventually you will know about Eva without even watching it. It is good work, but I will never put the time to watch it because of the things I learned about the main character, cant really relate to him:(. Theres such a thing as a too flawed character.

Edited by Eskilon

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@Eskilon I used to watch a lot and read manga (my dad is half Japanese) when I was a kid. I was exposed to Neon Genesis back then! I recently rewatched it and was slightly taken aback regarding how adult it was - depression, shame, worthlessness, oneness, love, lots of nonduality etc. The overall story grabs me, less so single character (I can dislike a protagonist, and like a story). Shinji is a difficult character but a good one, IMO. He embodies shame - which is a very unique feeling as it is one of the only feelings that is also a belief. I haven't met one person who did not have some internalised shame. We just aren't aware of it. So at different stages of self awareness, we relate to Shinji more, or less. In my experience anyway :) 


Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

 I used to watch a lot and read manga (my dad is half Japanese) when I was a kid.

I too had my weeb phase haha, even went as far as to learn Japanese. Cool language btw, way simpler than people make out to be. And pretty.

 

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

The overall story grabs me, less so single character (I can dislike a protagonist, and like a story). Shinji is a difficult character but a good one, IMO. He embodies shame - which is a very unique feeling as it is one of the only feelings that is also a belief. I haven't met one person who did not have some internalised shame. We just aren't aware of it. So at different stages of self awareness, we relate to Shinji more, or less. In my experience anyway :) 

Yes I see your point. We do have uncouncious emotions stored in us. Part of spirituality is to bring that to the surface to integrate and transcend it. To go beyond psychology so to speak. But I really didnt like the emphasis of that in the story, in my view its too much.

The director even said that it was his objective to make Shinji as insufferable as possible. He also went to some depression and thats why the show lean on that. Different strokes to different folks I guess:)

Edited by Eskilon

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10 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@UnbornTao Right - it makes me think some are answering in the two separate ways.

Lonely is assumed inherent to the human condition?

The series Neon Genesis: Evangelion is a great study on this concept. Not just a silly mecha anime at all. Deep concepts.

I probably say this as I just finished rewatching it :)

Inherent to one's self - the very experience of "me" as it's currently taken to be.

Edited by UnbornTao

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@TheGod A suggestion that comes to mind:

Start by spending a few couple of days with no distractions whatsoever, allowing yourself to feel bored.

Sounds easy enough on paper, but look at what we tend to do throughout the day (and throughout our lives.) Many activities are undertaken in order to avoid confronting that fact. 

Edited by UnbornTao

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16 hours ago, bazera said:

@Leo Gura

Including talking via internet? Like this forum, youtube comments, social media, messengers, etc?

That is harder. I could do it but then life is a slog. I do try to make my life enjoyable, not a constant grind or deprivation.

16 hours ago, bazera said:

@Leo Gura

With Awakening here, do you mean some crazy levels of consciousness you tend to talk about lately?

Or some enlightenment experiences (ones you had years ago) would do?

You talk about the spectrum of Awakening and degrees of it, so can boredom be dealt with if one has milder version of Awakening?

Mild is acceptable here because really all you need is many hours sitting in boredom.

The crazy high Awakenings are ironically too exciting to face bordem with them.

8 hours ago, freddyteisen said:

@Leo Gura do you no longer get bored?

I easily get bored because my mind is very creative.

6 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

How would the process look in setting up one’s life in such a way where this is even possible? Survival demands a great deal of activity in the 21st century- if you’re not some wealthy prince who can afford to do this (Buddha style)

Well, that's the rub. It's hard to do.

Financial independence is an awesome goal and achievement but few will do what it takes to acheive it.

If you really value it you can create it. But most don't really value it.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Financial independence is an awesome goal and achievement but few will do what it takes to acheive it.

If you really value it you can create it. But most don't really value it.

I didn’t value it until I had an Awakening. Now I’m having to start from ground zero- realizing God while also working a 9-5 is a strange place to be

Edited by Terell Kirby

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22 hours ago, Ramasta9 said:

What we call loneliness is really just the mind reacting to emptiness. When there’s nothing to distract it, it panics, it feels like something’s missing, but if you stay with that feeling long enough, without trying to escape or fix it, it starts to change. You begin to notice that underneath the ache is just being itself, quiet, peaceful, whole. 

Facing loneliness means letting yourself fully feel it, without judgment. Not trying to get “comfortable,” but allowing it to be there until the part of you that resists it softens. In time, what felt like emptiness starts to feel like spaciousness, the same stillness that all the great teachers point to.

As for enlightened teachers, that’s an astute observation. Some teach because the impulse of life moves through them that way, not from loneliness but from fullness. Others may still be human, still integrating... enlightenment doesn’t always erase human texture.

Blessings 

Stillness bring about fear to disappear 

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18 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Are you wanting others - or simply distraction, entertainment?

I have rarely felt lonely throughout my life.

When I experience a situation as you describe: alone, walking in late evening - I never feel alone. I never feel empty or 'not good'. I feel completely immersed in the experience of reality. The warm spring air, the new grass and flowers. The colours of the sunset as beams stretch out to touch the horizon. The soft birdsong and tinkle of the river. 

There is so much in our experience - how rich it is. I don't want to miss it.

I cannot feel alone with all of this beauty surrounding me. 

Nothing lasts, so I cherish the moment....

Are you distracted from noticing all within your experience?

I think I want the fulness of God that sometimes is reveled to me on psychedelics. When I'm sitting in an empty room and doing nothing I feel like nothing. Like cold and empty nothingness without the infinite love component. This emptiness doesn't feel like satisfaction.

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18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are not going to overcome it without spending weeks and months all alone doing nothing

This is one of my biggest fears but I know I need to evercome it and I don't actually know what if I can fully enjoy it. 

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17 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

 

Very well said. 

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2 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

@TheGod A suggestion that comes to mind: start by spending a couple of days with no distractions of any kind, allowing yourself to feel bored. 

 

That's what I have been doign for the last 4 weeks, but  I can't just sit more than one hour and doing nothing, at least not at the moment.

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On the other hand, why should we face it or what is going to happen if we won't face it?

We live in the world with thousands of all possible distractions, why bother with loneliness issue if you can distract yourself all the way down the road of life and once it's done, you're done. You are back into infinite love. 

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Just now, TheGod said:

On the other hand, why should we face it or what is going to happen if we won't face it?

We live in the world with thousands of all possible distractions, why bother with loneliness issue if you can distract yourself all the way down the road of life and once it's done, you're done. You are back into infinite love. 

Ego death requires it.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Ego death requires it.

Ego death is inevitable anyways.

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@TheGod

Have you had an ego death/no self type of experience? You touched on God consciousness above I can see, unless I am mistaken

I am wondering what else is coming up when you feel alone. Normally when we try to be undistracted, a whole emotional soup comes up. In my experience, these feelings all usually revolve around the perceived needs and longings/desires of the self. The perceiving of separation. Aversion and desire - the left and right hands of the ego.

Edited by Natasha Tori Maru

Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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6 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@TheGod

Have you had an ego death/no self type of experience? You touched on God consciousness above I can see, unless I am mistaken

I am wondering what else is coming up when you feel alone. Normally when we try to be undistracted, a whole emotional soup comes up. In my experience, these feelings all usually revolve around the perceived needs and longings/desires of the self. The perceiving of separation. Aversion and desire - the left and right hands of the ego.

I’ve had ego death experiences multiple times but only on psychedelics and it’s always love and infinity but when I am back in my ego it’s just feels like infinite loneliness rather than love. 

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