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I think Marriage and kids are essential to happiness

34 posts in this topic

3 hours ago, MarkKol said:

It's interesting how humans are designed just to keep breeding and remain idiots

More education → Higher political correctness + Higher salaries + fewer children

Less Education → Lower political correctness + lower quality of life + more children

You repeat that over and over again, and there are a lot more dumb people than smart ones

The smart ones die out because they stop having kids, and the dumb ones keep reproducing.

Maybe there's a way to reverse this, but we don't currently know how yet. I don't think it's the cost of living; it was much harder to survive 100 years ago than today.

Who knows where this thing leads, a collapse of society or some equilibrium? That's the bigger question here.

It's easier to have children when women don't work/and where your family can take care of them.

Rich, redistributionist countries like France have a much higher fertility rate than traditional, poor countries, but without social policies to partially offset the atomization process (Eastern countries, South America, etc.).

People with mental illnesses, or simply neurotics, are also less likely to have children or be sociable in general.
But mental health is a social issue; engaging in social activities or seeing a psychologist is not without cost; the childhood traumas that lead to these mental illnesses are also social (alcoholic parents, reproduction of family patterns, etc.).

So, there's no problem: people with a higher level of education will have more children, and the children of less educated parents will be more likely to have a significantly higher intellect if environmental conditions improve.


Nothing will prevent Willy.

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Statistically, most people would gain a lot of happiness from having kids, but individually you need to know for yourself what is right for you. I think if you question if you want kids a lot then you don't really want them, at least currently.

I'm a similar age (late 20s) and I feel that as I have become more appreciative of vicarious living, enjoying other people's happiness, the prospect of kids become more valuable. The purity, innocence and excitement of children over the simple things make life feel so much more special, because you vicariously enjoy their wonder as their parent. Who as an adult ever gets excited over candy? And I mean so excited that it is a somatic experience. Over something so simple. It's literally wonderful, full of wonder.

In my case, I would find it meaningful to contribute to raising a healthy, conscious and wise adult, with all the things I learned. It would be an opportunity to give the kind of love I myself missed as a child.

Edited by Basman

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1 hour ago, Basman said:

Statistically, most people would gain a lot of happiness from having kids, but individually you need to know for yourself what is right for you. I think if you question if you want kids a lot then you don't really want them, at least currently.

I'm a similar age (late 20s) and I feel that as I have become more appreciative of vicarious living, enjoying other people's happiness, the prospect of kids become more valuable. The purity, innocence and excitement of children over the simple things make life feel so much more special, because you vicariously enjoy their wonder as their parent. Who as an adult ever gets excited over candy? And I mean so excited that it is a somatic experience. Over something so simple. It's literally wonderful, full of wonder.

In my case, I would find it meaningful to contribute to raising a healthy, conscious and wise adult, with all the things I learned. It would be an opportunity to give the kind of love I myself missed as a child.

Today there was a mom and her young daughter in the sidewalk. The girl was on a tricycle, and with every push forward she smiled broadly and shouted "uuuuuweeeehhhhh"...."uuuuuweeehhhhh"....."uuuuweeeeehhhh" xD

This simple joy of just moving the tricycle half a meter forward, again and again.

What was the last thing that made me that happy?

What the fuck happened to us adults?

Where does this innocence and joy go when we grow up?

Yes yes we have responsibilities etc but it should not burn all the joy of doing simple things right?


Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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43 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

Today there was a mom and her young daughter in the sidewalk. The girl was on a tricycle, and with every push forward she smiled broadly and shouted "uuuuuweeeehhhhh"...."uuuuuweeehhhhh"....."uuuuweeeeehhhh" xD

This simple joy of just moving the tricycle half a meter forward, again and again.

What was the last thing that made me that happy?

What the fuck happened to us adults?

Where does this innocence and joy go when we grow up?

Yes yes we have responsibilities etc but it should not burn all the joy of doing simple things right?

We get used to it and get complacency about the wonder of life. I recently had a "gratitude awakening", where I became more conscious of just how magical life is. There is so much beauty and wonder everywhere if you just chose to see it. It is a choice. 

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1 hour ago, Basman said:

We get used to it and get complacency about the wonder of life. I recently had a "gratitude awakening", where I became more conscious of just how magical life is. There is so much beauty and wonder everywhere if you just chose to see it. It is a choice. 

Yeah I approach something similar. Had a mushroom trip recently, and in the afterglow of the trip I saw a sunset like I see it for the first time in my life. Was with two friends and they just shrugged their shoulders.

One other day, I complained about lots of stuff in my life, about some things in my city and only afterwards I realized how negatively I filter and how much great stuff I leave out in my assessment. 

Lot's of programming in our culture to complain and to take things for granted. Will be fun to change my attitude, I will re-call the "uuuuweeeehhh" girl when I wake up next morning this little girl was simply amazing! : ) 

I think it can be choice, but before you need to (re-)discover that it can be a choice. I remember moments where it was simply not possible for me to make that choice. Too much stress, too much fear, too much tension in the whole body. 


Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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2 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Today there was a mom and her young daughter in the sidewalk. The girl was on a tricycle, and with every push forward she smiled broadly and shouted "uuuuuweeeehhhhh"...."uuuuuweeehhhhh"....."uuuuweeeeehhhh" xD

This simple joy of just moving the tricycle half a meter forward, again and again.

What was the last thing that made me that happy?

What the fuck happened to us adults?

Where does this innocence and joy go when we grow up?

Yes yes we have responsibilities etc but it should not burn all the joy of doing simple things right?

My experience of life is that life mostly sucks. Sucks ass, in fact, therefore is it any wonder that we attribute these qualities of wonder, excitement and curiousity to children, a group of beings that haven't experienced anything yet


Blind leading the blind

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56 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

My experience of life is that life mostly sucks. Sucks ass, in fact, therefore is it any wonder that we attribute these qualities of wonder, excitement and curiousity to children, a group of beings that haven't experienced anything yet

Sorry to hear that. Life can be very hard, depending on circumstances, clearly.

It's relatively easy for me to talk about happyness of kids vs. adults as I live in a Western country without war and with lot of freedom.

But you can experience lots of BS and still find something in it, Viktor Frankl comes to mind. Could I do what he did, find meaning in all this cruelty? I don't know, but he could which is IMO a nice pointer. 

 


Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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10 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

It's relatively easy for me to talk about happyness of kids vs. adults as I live in a Western country without war and with lot of freedom.

I also live a pretty easy life materially speaking, compared to other countries, but my point was that life sucks in general. No matter which way you look at it. You don't even have to compare your life to the worst existence has to offer. Althought I do think it can get pretty tolerable once you get majority of your needs met, and also better moments definitely do stand out in the sea of shittiness


Blind leading the blind

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3 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

I also live a pretty easy life materially speaking, compared to other countries, but my point was that life sucks in general. No matter which way you look at it. You don't even have to compare your life to the worst existence has to offer. Althought I do think it can get pretty tolerable once you get majority of your needs met, and also better moments definitely do stand out in the sea of shittiness

I felt like that at times. Nihilistic, life is pointless, going in circles etc.

The phase passed.

You actually don't need all your needs met. Sure some survival basics are necessary (safety, good, shelter) because I would not talk like that if I spend 24/7 in some trenches or close to starving. But needs will never be met all the same time. It's crucial to accept that there will always be a "lack" without seeing it as lack. As in "ok I am hungry know".  Nobody complains about getting hungry. You get hungry , you get your food. Then you're good, and then you get hungry again. You can't experience the joy of eating and feeling full without feeling hungry before.

Life is also a great opportunity to create and to experience.

Likely this phase will pass and I will be more nihilistic again.

Until that passes. 

I learn that a lot of negativity, suppressed emotions was stored in my body. Releasing this helped.

Edited by theleelajoker

Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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40 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

I felt like that at times. Nihilistic, life is pointless, going in circles etc.

The phase passed.

You actually don't need all your needs met. Sure some survival basics are necessary (safety, good, shelter) because I would not talk like that if I spend 24/7 in some trenches or close to starving. But needs will never be met all the same time. It's crucial to accept that there will always be a "lack" without seeing it as lack. As in "ok I am hungry know".  Nobody complains about getting hungry. You get hungry , you get your food. Then you're good, and then you get hungry again. You can't experience the joy of eating and feeling full without feeling hungry before.

Life is also a great opportunity to create and to experience.

Likely this phase will pass and I will be more nihilistic again.

Until that passes. 

I learn that a lot of negativity, suppressed emotions was stored in my body. Releasing this helped.

This is all true, mind and body always naturally find their ways to cope, forget, shift attention to something else and generally survive. But the default state is always lack of some sorts or pain, which then needs to be taken care off. That is one of the main factors fueling my belief in philosophical blackpill. LOL


Blind leading the blind

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On 28/09/2025 at 10:49 AM, Someone here said:

Aren't marriage and reproduction an instict that any normal healthy human craves ? 

Not necessarily, what even is normal and healthy in this case? Is it wild that kids are seen as a liability and a barrier to some people?

On 28/09/2025 at 10:49 AM, Someone here said:

You are a human chimpanzee..you want to eat and fuck . Don't kid yourself .

Eat and fuck maybe, not have children

I certainly hope more people think more like you than me, because I'm not saying having kids is right or wrong, I'm saying that dumb Republican states have higher birth rates than democratic areas, Africa certainly has much higher birth rates than Denmark, but Denmark has policies and institutions that African nations can only dream of.

Deprived places have more children

On 28/09/2025 at 11:01 AM, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

I used to think the same, but actually it wasn't harder to survive 100s of years ago in pure economic terms (I'm not talking about overall living standards), it was actually easier. Don't get fooled by all the technologies we have, we can't afford shit nowadays. The only times that were economically worse off than the times we're living in, would probably be the Great Depression.

Maybe in America, where war, starvation, or massive corruption never happened, in the baby boomer generations, in Europe, you would've been running away from the nazis or starving away in China or Africa

Edited by MarkKol

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On 28/09/2025 at 1:36 PM, Schizophonia said:

Rich, redistributionist countries like France have a much higher fertility rate than traditional, poor countries, but without social policies to partially offset the atomization process

people with a higher level of education will have more children

That's not true

I think Scandinavia is more redistributive than France. Isn't that just another word for socialist?

On 28/09/2025 at 1:36 PM, Schizophonia said:

eople with mental illnesses, or simply neurotics, are also less likely to have children or be sociable in general.
But mental health is a social issue; engaging in social activities or seeing a psychologist is not without cost; the childhood traumas that lead to these mental illnesses are also social (alcoholic parents, reproduction of family patterns, etc.)

Those are a small, in some cases, tiny minority that doesn't drive any social change as drastic as the decline of birth rates

Economics certainly has a lot to do with birth rates, but the affordability of life can only improve with more socialist and wealth tax policies. I don't see any other way of making life cheaper.

Edited by MarkKol

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9 hours ago, MarkKol said:

That's not true

I think Scandinavia is more redistributive than France. Isn't that just another word for socialist?

France is the most redistributive country in Europe with Danemark.

And it’s also the European country with the highest fertility rate.

The second country with the highest fertility rate is Sweden, which is very redistributive too.

Eastern and southern countries have the worst fertility rates, Great Britain and Central European countries are in the middle.

So it gives me right; The fertility rate in European countries is even positively correlated with education, as long as the conditions of the social body are favorable.

 

Edited by Schizophonia

Nothing will prevent Willy.

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10 hours ago, MarkKol said:

Not necessarily, what even is normal and healthy in this case? Is it wild that kids are seen as a liability and a barrier to some people?

Eat and fuck maybe, not have children

I certainly hope more people think more like you than me, because I'm not saying having kids is right or wrong, I'm saying that dumb Republican states have higher birth rates than democratic areas, Africa certainly has much higher birth rates than Denmark, but Denmark has policies and institutions that African nations can only dream of.

Deprived places have more children

Maybe in America, where war, starvation, or massive corruption never happened, in the baby boomer generations, in Europe, you would've been running away from the nazis or starving away in China or Africa

Republican states like Texas are very wealthy and educated and have a high rate of fertility.
 

Same for Africans, you can't just say "it's because they're poor blacks with an IQ of 80 so they have a lot of children” it's not even true, demographic redistribution is very unequal in Africa.

 

It's easier to have children in some places in Africa because it's part of the culture, there are still strong family structures, because as these are still very agricultural countries food is cheap. Access to contraception is also less easy and they have less access to entertainment goods (which most of the time do not require a significant level of education and are mainly a means of escape).

 

Edited by Schizophonia

Nothing will prevent Willy.

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