I think Marriage and kids are essential to happiness

[Someone here]

I don't think there Is any bigger joy in life than a cute little boy or cute little girl calling you dad or mom ..  Arguable but that's something I came to appreciate and proitize in my life ever since I became an uncle . I'm totally focusing on getting my stuff handled in life so that I can get married and have kids . If you'd ask me as little as two years ago I would say fuck wedlock and fuck kids ..I just want to be a player and sleep around with hunders of girls ..Don Jon lifestyle . But it is true that your priorities and your interests in life can and do change as you grow up and age and gain some actual life experience. I started to appreciate the distinction between sex and intimacy. Sex is not enough .and sex is not that difficult to get to be honest with you ..all you need is some money basically. But you can't buy things like intimacy..love..connection ..caring ..etc with money alone.  

I do think that these things like marriage and raising a family and kids is one of the most important aspects of life.  I didn't realize that when I was younger because of obvious teenage immaturity and because I have no frame of reference of this..until my sister got married and I became an uncle . And that's actually my number one goal right now in life. I will put philosophical and figuring existence out on hold and focus more on that goal I just mentioned. After all I'm not going to ever reach any levels of understanding existence deeper than what Leo have reached and have shared in his channel for free .I'm forever grateful to Leo and I have all of his profound videos saved .but for now I need to shift into more down to earth stuff.

[bazera]

@Someone here When I became an uncle, I had an exact opposite feeling, like I didn't want that hustle of having a kid and orienting my whole life and priorities towards that one thing. Not sure why, but I think the main reason is that I have some things to do first, some karma to burn, and I think family / kids lifestyle won't suit me. 

Don't you have some feelings of that "karma" that you need to burn before commiting like that or you already burned through enough that it was enough.

And before when you didn't want kids, how did you envision your life? like what did you image you'd do instead of having kids and family?

Btw, how old are you?

[Someone here]

5 hours ago, bazera said:

@Someone here When I became an uncle, I had an exact opposite feeling, like I didn't want that hustle of having a kid and orienting my whole life and priorities towards that one thing. Not sure why, but I think the main reason is that I have some things to do first, some karma to burn, and I think family / kids lifestyle won't suit me. 

Don't you have some feelings of that "karma" that you need to burn before commiting like that or you already burned through enough that it was enough.

And before when you didn't want kids, how did you envision your life? like what did you image you'd do instead of having kids and family?

Btw, how old are you?

Reaching 29 next December. 

I'm not sure what you mean by Karma in this context.  But obviously yes I'm not ready at the moment to start a family .I need to fulfil some basic things first In Maslow's hierarchy of needs like financial stability first and foremost. 

Before I got interested in marriage I was thinking I would simply make money and travel around the world and sleep around with any girls I want . Now that I think about it more deeply I realize its immature path .

[bazera]

@Someone here I was referring to a concept from Leo's video called "Burning Through Karma - How To Exhaust Material Desires"

Quote

Now that I think about it more deeply I realize its immature path .

Why do you think that?

I'm also at your age and thinking about these stuff, considering different life scenarios. When it comes to having family and kids, in my mind it interferes with the possibility of doing lots of consciousness work, who knows what comes up. Maybe after having kids I regret them, or maybe if I don't exhaust my need of being with different girls, I won't be happy in any kinds of marriage. Just thinking along those lines. But at the same time, time flies.

Edited September 23 by bazera

[Someone here]

34 minutes ago, bazera said:

@Someone here I was referring to a concept from Leo's video called "Burning Through Karma - How To Exhaust Material Desires"

Why do you think that?

I'm also at your age and thinking about these stuff, considering different life scenarios. When it comes to having family and kids, in my mind it interferes with the possibility of doing lots of consciousness work, who knows what comes up. Maybe after having kids I regret them, or maybe if I don't exhaust my need of being with different girls, I won't be happy in any kinds of marriage. Just thinking along those lines. But at the same time, time flies.

That's totally fine .like I said I have put the horse before the cart by pursuing consciousness work instead of working on basic survival stuff . But you do you . Obviously there is also validity to abandoning marriage altogether and just enjoying your romantic and sexual life as a live in or just changing your girlfriend every once in a while..but that just doesn't resonate with me at the moment. 

[bazera]

Quote

but that just doesn't resonate with me at the moment. 

Got it

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I couldn't imagine being married. Sounds like just a show for others, all these ceremonies, legalities, the whole attires and stuff. All just for others to see how "happy" and "fullfilled" you both are, or just to check off some goal from the list you were conditioned to want. I don't feel any jelaousy or longing when I see boring couples with their screaming children, on the contrary I feel relieved that I don't have to deal with that shit. Especially in this economy. Like what the hell

[Someone here]

On 26/09/2025 at 7:21 PM, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

I couldn't imagine being married. Sounds like just a show for others, all these ceremonies, legalities, the whole attires and stuff. All just for others to see how "happy" and "fullfilled" you both are, or just to check off some goal from the list you were conditioned to want. I don't feel any jelaousy or longing when I see boring couples with their screaming children, on the contrary I feel relieved that I don't have to deal with that shit. Especially in this economy. Like what the hell

So you seriously believe that married people would just get married to show-off for other people "oooh look how cute  and happy we are together holding each other's hands "? 

Also if we stopped having kids then human race will go extinct.  

I don't blame you though .I was thinking exactly like you when I was 17 yo.

Edited September 27 by Someone here

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

30 minutes ago, Someone here said:

So you seriously believe that married people would just get married to show-off for other people "oooh look how cute  and happy we are together holding each other's hands "? 

Yeah I would say that's what I think. Otherwise people wouldn't be making so much fuss about this whole marriage ordeal. But it clearly serves an important social function (as a show that it is), and it is a goal to be checked off of many people's life goals, especially for women apparently since it's mostly them who put this stuff on the pedestal.

42 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Also if we stopped having kids then human race will go extinct.  

Dude you know how many kids are still being born? There are and always will be plenty of fools having children they can't actually afford (and might never be able too), us not contributing to this mess of an experiment we call a society changes absolutely nothing. Lmao

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

Yeah I would say that's what I think. Otherwise people wouldn't be making so much fuss about this whole marriage ordeal. 

What fuss exactly?  Let's assume for a moment that you are correct ..doesn't that actually a point in my case which I'm claiming here (that marriage is an important factor of living the good life )?

What differentiates us from animals and cave men thousands of years ago ? Of course I'm aware that we are not living in the 50s anymore and that it's 2025 already and marriage is not needed to have sex or have a romantic partner or even to have kids legally (in some countries it does though ). But like I said ever since I started visiting my sister's husband and kids I changed my mind . I used to think wtf is wrong with married people but your outlook in life might change as you grow and gain life experience.  You don't want to die alone when it's time to "go" right?

12 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

But it clearly serves an important social function (as a show that it is), and it is a goal to be checked off of many people's life goals, especially for women apparently since it's mostly them who put this stuff on the pedestal.

Because women want children more than men. Women need a man to take responsibility of them and protcect them. Men want to fuck and done ,run away 😂

 But still there is obvious benefit and elevation of your quality of life and level of maturity if you become a father and work to feed your kids . You might not be able to see this in a young inexperienced age though .

14 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

Dude you know how many kids are still being born? There are and always will be plenty of fools having children they can't actually afford (and might never be able too), us not contributing to this mess of an experiment we call a society changes absolutely nothing. Lmao

Bro you sound like an antinatalist nihilistic guy. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

24 minutes ago, Someone here said:

What fuss exactly?  Let's assume for a moment that you are correct ..doesn't that actually a point in my case which I'm claiming here (that marriage is an important factor of living the good life )?

It probably is for many people. Maybe most people. I don't know. But I think it's not for me, and I think most people are just conditioned to want it. You could be commited to your partner and commited to raising children even without getting married. Many things we think we want are really just slowly massaged into our heads since we're born, without us realizing. 

33 minutes ago, Someone here said:

But like I said ever since I started visiting my sister's husband and kids I changed my mind . I used to think wtf is wrong with married people but your outlook in life might change as you grow and gain life experience.  You don't want to die alone when it's time to "go" right?

I don't know, I kind of feel like it's not my choice to make whether I go out this world alone. People make it seem like everything is your responsibility and in your control, but some people are more suited for long term relationships and having kids than others, people's brains are wired differently. I don't personally feel like I am really suited for that, so yeah my opinions could change and how I view things could change of course. And I'm not saying your reason isn't valid. But the fact is, whether I change my views or not, me not really being up to the task mentally will most likely never change. Much like this economy and other factors. Like, these are probably constants, not variables.

51 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Because women want children more than men. Women need a man to take responsibility of them and protcect them. Men want to fuck and done ,run away 😂

If they really do want the children more, I don't really understand why, since they are the ones bearing the brunt of all the suffering that comes from bringing the child to this world, child rearing and all that other stuff. Yet they are the ones who want it more? It's very ironic, but could be true.

57 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Bro you sound like an antinatalist nihilistic guy. 

I do. Can't really help it, it's just how this world functions makes me this way

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

It probably is for many people. Maybe most people. I don't know. But I think it's not for me, and I think most people are just conditioned to want it. You could be commited to your partner and commited to raising children even without getting married. Many things we think we want are really just slowly massaged into our heads since we're born, without us realizing. 

I addressed this point already. Our ancestors lived a natural life . They hunt and eat and sleep as soon as sun sets .they meet face to face and they marry . Now everything is artifical and fake .

1 hour ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

don't know, I kind of feel like it's not my choice to make whether I go out this world alone. People make it seem like everything is your responsibility and in your control, but some people are more suited for long term relationships and having kids than others, people's brains are wired differently. I don't personally feel like I am really suited for that, so yeah my opinions could change and how I view things could change of course. And I'm not saying your reason isn't valid. But the fact is, whether I change my views or not, me not really being up to the task mentally will most likely never change. Much like this economy and other factors. Like, these are probably constants, not variables

You will definitely change your mind once you get it that we are social animals and we do need each other's.  We are social creatures .man needs woman and woman needs man. There is literally no other purpose to life at the physical level other than survive and reproduce .

So let's say you become rich and successful..you've handled basic survival needs .what now ? First thing that should pop in your head is "time to have a girlfriend or wife ".

2 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

If they really do want the children more, I don't really understand why, since they are the ones bearing the brunt of all the suffering that comes from bringing the child to this world, child rearing and all that other stuff. Yet they are the ones who want it more? It's very ironic, but could be true.

Its precisely because of all the suffering women ebdure to birth a child and raise them that they want children more than men.

Imagine a fucking living breathing human creature literally emerging out of your womb 😂..you will literally love it more than you love yourself .

2 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

I do. Can't really help it, it's just how this world functions makes me this way

Victim mentality. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

10 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Victim mentality. 

That's BS. You don't really actually control your life. I know that stating this on a self improvement forum makes me look like a sore thumb, but it's true. Lol

[Someone here]

4 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

That's BS. You don't really actually control your life. I know that stating this on a self improvement forum makes me look like a sore thumb, but it's true. Lol

No I appreciate you . I totally agree if you mean libertarian free will is an illusion .

We need free will to be real to get married? All the billions of married couples in the world have free will and you don't? 

 

 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

Depends on who you are.

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

Depends on who you are.

Hard to make anything of one ambiguous statement. 

[MarkKol]

It's interesting how humans are designed just to keep breeding and remain idiots

More education → Higher political correctness + Higher salaries + fewer children

Less Education → Lower political correctness + lower quality of life + more children

You repeat that over and over again, and there are a lot more dumb people than smart ones

The smart ones die out because they stop having kids, and the dumb ones keep reproducing.

Maybe there's a way to reverse this, but we don't currently know how yet. I don't think it's the cost of living; it was much harder to survive 100 years ago than today.

Who knows where this thing leads, a collapse of society or some equilibrium? That's the bigger question here.

[Someone here]

56 minutes ago, MarkKol said:

It's interesting how humans are designed just to keep breeding and remain idiots

More education → Higher political correctness + Higher salaries + fewer children

Less Education → Lower political correctness + lower quality of life + more children

You repeat that over and over again, and there are a lot more dumb people than smart ones

The smart ones die out because they stop having kids, and the dumb ones keep reproducing.

Maybe there's a way to reverse this, but we don't currently know how yet. I don't think it's the cost of living; it was much harder to survive 100 years ago than today.

Who knows where this thing leads, a collapse of society or some equilibrium? That's the bigger question here.

Wtf did I just read ?

So having kids is satan on earth? Its the ultimate evil?  Aren't marriage and reproduction an instict that any normal healthy human craves ? 

Your argument is that we are "programmed " to do it therefore we shouldn't do it ? Might as well stop eating and drinking and sleeping because we are also "programmed " to do them.

You are a human chimpanzee..you want to eat and fuck . Don't kid yourself .

Edited Sunday at 08:50 AM by Someone here

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

55 minutes ago, MarkKol said:

Maybe there's a way to reverse this, but we don't currently know how yet. I don't think it's the cost of living; it was much harder to survive 100 years ago than today.

I used to think the same, but actually it wasn't harder to survive 100s of years ago in pure economic terms (I'm not talking about overall living standards), it was actually easier. Don't get fooled by all the technologies we have, we can't afford shit nowadays. The only times that were economically worse off than the times we're living in, would probably be the Great Depression.

[Sincerity]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

You are a human chimpanzee..you want to eat and fuck .

Don’t measure others by your own yardstick.