Hardkill

Is “Women only want the top 10 - 20%” actually true offline?

64 posts in this topic

On 9/20/2025 at 5:50 PM, Emerald said:

That's a misunderstanding of how women become attracted to a guy. It's not about his positive qualities or being better than other guys.

So, it's not really about the man being some paragon... or objectively attractive in some way. It's so much more subjective than that.

And the guys in the DMs are unattractive by default because they're just spammers who are trying to sell themselves to any woman who will have them. It reads as needy and desperate... because it is.

It works though, as a numbers game. So, many guys do it.

But it's not attractive at all. And it's not because those guys are inherently unattractive. It's because they're spamming and come across as desperate and as having low standards. So, she will just see those guys as annoying the vast majority of the time.

Attraction arises through interaction and getting to know a man as a particular human being when he's not trying to sell himself to her at all. And when the attraction takes hold, it's like a Cupid's Arrow where it just feels so addictive to be around that guy... while other guys just feel neutral to be around.

And at that point, the constituent qualities of the guy don't matter. His strengths just add spice to him... and his flaws don't matter at all. It's rose-colored glasses on steroids. 

It's that he's this unique "flavor" of experience and there is no substitute. And he is one-of-a-kind... and cannot be replaced.

And this is true even if the guy is just some everyday random Joe Schmoe in the eyes of most people. But to a woman who has been struck by the Cupid's Arrow for him, he is THE guy.

And you may not understand because it isn't how your sexuality works. So, you may assume that the woman is settling for some Joe Schmoe... and just for what she can get. And the rationale might be, "If she could get better than him, she would"... as this is the way that guys can tend to think, as their sexuality is about casting a wide net and attracting as many as possible.

But to her, the guy is like a God. He is the one that she selected... as women's sexuality operates through selection, not attraction of many options. The attraction of many options is already a given.

So, it's common that men's selection is just because you're the best he can get... the best fish that swam into the net.

But for women, her selection is based on preference. The fish already chase her around... and beg her to eat them. So, there is not choosing based on scarcity... even if a woman may complain that "there are no good options" in exasperation of all the spammy attention she gets. 

It's waiting until the desire and hunger sets in... and choosing the exact fish that she wants. And it's usually some very specific average guy.

Always love your takes and explanations on things, you truly have a gift in explaining and putting language to complex things that most can't explain. I can sort of grasp what you are saying but since (as you mentioned) my sexuality is different, i am sure i am only getting a fraction or "wiff" of it. 

I just watched that movie "Click" and that was the scenerio there, the woman was a model dating Adam Sandler a pretty Shmoe kinda guy and she was totally in love with him. 

 

I guess i'm just curious about how that works, if it's something that can be optimized or just has to happen naturally through a numbers game. It's definitely a great feeling when a woman sees you like that, i've had it a handful of times in my life, it's like they see something in me that i don't even see. But i do wonder about the longevity of that- being this Godlike figure- as it seems to fade for most relationships, like is that just chemicals and survival? 

 


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On 9/20/2025 at 7:35 PM, Emerald said:

And most men and women who are in longterm relationships are average. 

There is no need to be some super-star of a guy to sustain a longterm relationship. Just be yourself and have your life on the rails. And things will grow into something deeper.

Why do you think this is? Also, do you think women get bored in this kind of relationship? 

I mean I dated a girl who was in a 6 year relationships and she said towards the end 2 years they barely talked, made love, it seems like they were just in it for it's own sake. I don't really understand that. 


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4 hours ago, Emerald said:

I can understand that that's what you fear... so it feels real to you. Plus, all the online propaganda that preys on the insecurities of men uses these kinds of narratives to agitate those pain points and insecurities to make men more receptive to buying solutions.

And the Red Pill is about selling men expensive solutions to try to make themselves "high value men" through all sorts of permutations of macho play-acting... and frames everything relationship-wise as purely objective and transactional.

And the Black Pill is about selling men the certainty of failure in matters of sex and love, so that men can feel the relief that comes with pity, victim's mentality, and giving up. And this also makes them a target audience for grifters looking to sell attractiveness ratings and things like that to mirror back to them their "certainty" of romantic failure.

It's similar to how fashion and beauty companies have historically sold products by making women feel inadequate and unattractive. 

It's "Create a problem that doesn't exist... or exacerbate a small problem to the point where it seems insurmountable. Then, sell the solution."

It's not our first rodeo though... so there's a lot of push towards body-inclusive brands of clothing and make-up. Society knew this marketing was a problem, even when I was a child. But I'm sure that the problems with this kind of marketing weren't in the public consciousness for quite some time.

But this past 10 years is men's first rodeo with this kind of predatory marketing... and it is quite all encompassing.

The problem is that men feel like these movements are working for them instead of against them, so there is an allegiance with the predatory marketers. They believe that they are being told the "real secrets" about women... giving the impression that they are being helped. But it just adds more insecurity.

But in the coming decades, I suspect there will be a genuine men's lib movement where men come to collectively wake up to and push back on predatory marketing in the way that women have over the past 20 years or so.

All that to say... in the majority of cases, it isn't actually true that women are settling for the men that they're with. That's just men's fear that they are settled for instead of chosen.

So, the internet is filled with echo chambers that will keep validating that fear over and over. So, it feels very real. But it isn't happening in most cases.

I would agree that the Red Pill / Black Pill are brainwashing men, especially around these "Value structures" and i am so glad i didn't fall for this trap becuase it's an enticing and sticky one- and you get "psyhcolgists" like Orion Taraban, Sadia Khan , etc pushing these disempowering, tit for tat, and "never enough" mindsets- but also, diminishing satisfaction, boredom, conflict, unhappiness in relationships are a problem as old as time for human beings. Divorce rates are 50%+, Infidelity (even through non physical ways but emotional or instagram DMs) are super high, the sexual polarity in relationships have dimished in the West (David Deida talked about this in the 90s and it's only gotten less polarized since). So we can't just ignore that. I do think to some level people do have to settle or at least compromise in relationships and a lot of their fantasies about what it is or could be must get popped over time. Maybe i'm wrong though, i'm open to being wrong, i hope i'm wrong. But it really does seem like there is no easy solution to this problem of wearing thin in romantic relationships.


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2 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

Always love your takes and explanations on things, you truly have a gift in explaining and putting language to complex things that most can't explain. I can sort of grasp what you are saying but since (as you mentioned) my sexuality is different, i am sure i am only getting a fraction or "wiff" of it. 

I just watched that movie "Click" and that was the scenerio there, the woman was a model dating Adam Sandler a pretty Shmoe kinda guy and she was totally in love with him. 

I guess i'm just curious about how that works, if it's something that can be optimized or just has to happen naturally through a numbers game. It's definitely a great feeling when a woman sees you like that, i've had it a handful of times in my life, it's like they see something in me that i don't even see. But i do wonder about the longevity of that- being this Godlike figure- as it seems to fade for most relationships, like is that just chemicals and survival? 

 

Thank you!

What I would say relative to the model dating Adam Sandler... is that Adam Sander has always been a reasonably attractive guy. He kind of plays a Joe Schmoe type though. But to most women, Adam Sandler is definitely above average in physical attractiveness. And I have no doubt that Adam Sandler could date a model... but mostly because he's a relatively handsome, successful, famous guy who is also bold, funny, charismatic, and socially connected. 

Now, women do tend to become attracted to guys who are proximal to their level of attractiveness. So, a model might not organically develop an attraction to an average guy. But women do like to be the peacocks of the relationship and a bit more attractive than the guy, so if she's a 6 she will likely be interested in a guy who's an older 6 or a 5 that's her own age.

Women don't tend to like to go for men who are significantly more or significantly less attractive than her, as a general rule. Though there are exceptions.

Let's say that there's a woman who's a 7. She will probably steer clear of guys who are 8s, 9s, and 10s because she won't be able to be the peacock in those dynamics. She will feel like the ugly duckling of the relationship, which is kind of like the female version of emasculation (which kills sexual excitement because a big part of the excitement is about being the desirable woman). Most women don't want the man to be prettier than her.

And she probably won't be attracted to guys who are at a 5 and below. But she will probably develop organic attractions towards guys who are 6s and 7s.

But all of this is background stuff. It's not what she's thinking about once the Cupid's Arrow has struck. It's just that outside of those proximal ranges might be a deal breaker to where it exempts the Cupid's Arrow from striking... which she won't even realize that she's sorting them out. She will just probably find herself mostly seeing men who are her level of physical attractiveness or slightly below as the ones who have potential.

But it can't be optimized. The Cupid's Arrow strikes based off of so many emotional and psychological factors that the woman doesn't even know why that's the guy. It's not about his objective qualities. It's about the whole gestalt of his personality.

The best thing you can do is be social and be yourself. This quality that women become attracted to in the Cupid's Arrow is 100% unique to you. And the best thing you can do is to let go of strategy and be yourself in your greatest expression... and lean into what you think is cool.

Guys who do all these strategies kind of ruin it and interrupt the organic process... as it communicates commonality and neediness instead of divergence and detachment.

And when it turns into a real romantic relationship, it transforms into something more stable and steady and real. This is mostly in the initial chemistry limerence phase. And it's just how women's selection tendency works when she's operating from a heart-centered place.


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19 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

I would agree that the Red Pill / Black Pill are brainwashing men, especially around these "Value structures" and i am so glad i didn't fall for this trap becuase it's an enticing and sticky one- and you get "psyhcolgists" like Orion Taraban, Sadia Khan , etc pushing these disempowering, tit for tat, and "never enough" mindsets- but also, diminishing satisfaction, boredom, conflict, unhappiness in relationships are a problem as old as time for human beings. Divorce rates are 50%+, Infidelity (even through non physical ways but emotional or instagram DMs) are super high, the sexual polarity in relationships have dimished in the West (David Deida talked about this in the 90s and it's only gotten less polarized since). So we can't just ignore that. I do think to some level people do have to settle or at least compromise in relationships and a lot of their fantasies about what it is or could be must get popped over time. Maybe i'm wrong though, i'm open to being wrong, i hope i'm wrong. But it really does seem like there is no easy solution to this problem of wearing thin in romantic relationships.

I think the dynamics you had mentioned really just boil down to human beings not being taught much about how to sustain intimate connections with friends, family, and romantic partners... and society growing more an more individualistic and atomized.

The Gottmans have some important evidence-based things to say on the topic of sustaining romantic relationships... like answering to bids for affection, avoiding criticism, avoiding stonewalling, cuddling (which increases frequency and quality of the sexual connection), etc.

But it's even deeper than that.

Before, people had all sorts of top-down authoritarian structures and a very harsh world in general keeping couples and families together to avoid exile and compromising their social and physical survival and belonging needs. But these relationship dynamics were probably Hell on Earth in most instances and would have been so stifling to the human spirit.

And now that there's more freedom, more people get divorced (or even cheat) to look to actually have their needs met. But they may not know how to do so... as they don't even necessarily know what they're seeking in a relationship, or if relationship itself can even provide what they seek. (We can often seek out relationships to meet psychological needs that cannot be met that way.)

So, now that we don't have top-down structures pressing in at us as much, we naturally flee from relationships with other people... because they have always been a prison requiring the sacrifice of self and authenticity.

And it puts us in a unique position as contemporary people to explore what actually works in a relationship for the individual... and what strengthens bonds in a bottom-up way without needing the society and government to control us.

And that begins with knowing what makes a partner compatible with ourselves... and knowing what we want and need to feel good in a relationship. 

But all of this Red Pill/Incel stuff just presents narratives that make this kind of deeper bonding exploration in a male/female relationship impossible with guys who are afflicted... in terms of both Masculine/Feminine polarity spiciness kind of way and an eye-to-eye pair-bonding.

And it puts tons of women on edge around guys in general because this propaganda is so commonly internalized. And it stokes misogynistic sentiment as women are the scapegoated 'enemy' group of these movements.

And because surrender requires trust and safety, there is no ability to actually lean into the soft Feminine mode in relationships with a guy who's been propagandized by these sources. 

It would be like a balloon trying to get into a relationship with a cactus.

To give an analogy, women generally are like armadillos... soft underbelly but hard scales. There's a desire to relax and to feel open... and to show the soft underbelly.

And guys who are unsafe (and pill-propagandized guys are SUPER unsafe, sometimes physically and always emotionally) will cause the "armadillo" to roll up into a protective ball... and only the hard scales can be seen.

And this will give the impression in the eyes of those guys that some kind of depolarization has happened where "Women aren't Feminine anymore".

But it's really just how women behave when they feel unsafe. It's a natural defense mechanism... like a cat hissing to ward something off.

And every single woman has wounds around the Feminine because of womanhood and Femininity making us a target for so much pain, tragedy, and disempowerment. So, it's easy to step on a nerve and get a hiss to begin with.

And these guys deliberately try to hit nerves and get tons of "hisses" because they perceive women as the invulnerable powerful perpetrators... and themselves as the vulnerable powerless victims.

So, they're always trying to drag women down off the pedestal... when we've been historically disempowered. And they see women's reaction to that as Masculine or Feminist brainwashing or similar things like that.

So, the world is not a place to show Femininity... as it is too vulnerable to do so, and it makes you a target for all sorts of terrible things.

Pretty much the only safe spaces for it is if you're with a guy who is safe to show it around and who isn't intimidated by it and won't make you feel lesser for it (which can be uncommon to find in a society that's actively brainwashing so many men to hate women and advocate for us to be stripped of our legal rights and protections)... or if you're around other laid back women who value Femininity in a more holistic way.


Are you struggling with self-sabotage and CONSTANTLY standing in the way of your own success? 

If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

Why do you think this is? Also, do you think women get bored in this kind of relationship? 

I mean I dated a girl who was in a 6 year relationships and she said towards the end 2 years they barely talked, made love, it seems like they were just in it for it's own sake. I don't really understand that. 

I think it's quite possible that the girl you were dating wasn't getting her emotional intimacy needs met in that relationship (nor was he).

It's usually not boredom that leads to that kind of disconnect. It's more like blocks to intimacy and connection... and lack of communication and non-sexual affection (which is what leads to greater levels of sexual affection). 

But when you're with someone, your life gets intertwined with them. And it becomes very hard to leave... even if there are major irreconcilable incompatibilities or your partner refuses or is unable to met your needs.

People get stuck together in unfulfilling dynamics a lot... even with the lenient divorce laws and the lack of social stigma. 

But it's almost never boredom that's the culprit. 

The reality is that good relationships are pretty steady. They're not super exciting. But they're very addictive because of the intimacy that's only possible over the long term of living life together.

And if a relationship is super exciting after the first few months, then it's probably because there's something unfulfilling about it... which creates a kind of hot and cold "Will this work out" cliffhanger dynamic. And that's exciting because it keeps a loop open for change and unpredictability. 

But it's not good for building something deep and stable. That EXTRA true once children come into the picture.

Excitement is about more surface-level novelty and contrast... and it's very exciting to meet someone new and feel the initial sparks.

And relationship is about deep pair-bonding over time and becoming family. And this is the kind of growing together that happens over the course of years and decades of living a life together.

So, men and women who are truly geared towards seeking excitement will tend to have more short-lived relationship because they are looking for novelty and variety over devotion and depth.

But it seems like the girl you were dating was just in a relationship where they weren't able to reconcile incompatibilities or communicate intimately... or answer each other's bids for affection. 

And at that point, the juice doesn't feel worth the squeeze. But life is still intertwined and there's still attachment and stickiness. It's a really unpleasant dynamic to be caught in.


Are you struggling with self-sabotage and CONSTANTLY standing in the way of your own success? 

If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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15 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

giphy.gif?

That's very anal retentive of you

Ofc you're right; without going into details if i was less anal i probably would be right now with friends, working etc.

It's because i'm still too much neurotic for now that i lose time in a forum or in internet, and so automatically i fall into mirroirs like you or others who bring me back the reason, the energetic game for which i am still here; that is to say I refuse to contemplate, accept how (I think) am small, out en childish narcicism, and so is afraid to be discovered, that which automatically limits my interactions with the outside world.

Even if I decide to play the man, the one who adopts the phallic position, when I am with you this position is not objectively true because otherwise it would not appear; I will really be my masculine ideal only when the non-masculine/phallic mirrors (me in denial) stop appearing; because I would naturally be alone or surrounded by phallic men themselves (athletes, workers, honest about themselves and the world).

If I'm phallic, then I'll naturally be surrounded by people like me, so the polarity will disappear.
If I consciously want to be phallic, but in reality I don't embody it, not to the same extent for whatever reason (insecurities due to trauma and neurotic mechanisms), then I'll end up with people who truly reflect who I am, and my interactions with them will potentially be frustrating for all parties because of the conflict between the software I'm trying to bring and the real energy of the egregor.
I give in to this egregor (Actualized), but sometimes because I'm uninhibited, my crazy, ribald psychoanalyst from a rugby player's region of France software , an archetype like that ahah, which is ultimately closer to my deep conditioning, "higher self," will take over, and I'll come into conflict with my usual mirrors here.

For example, I recently realized that I probably couldn't be friends with people who are too left-wing or far-left, often LGBT.
Not out of malice at all, but precisely because my deep-rooted way of being kind is in conflict with theirs.
My first instinct, if I want to be kind, is to make others feel lighter. I like to be low-stress and strong, so I'll naturally want to share that, BUT this involves a process of self-dissolution, acceptance, weakness, etc, which is simply not acceptable for people (mirrors!) who have a strong sense of individuality.

 

Edited by Schizophonia

Nothing will prevent Willy.

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1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

Ofc you're right; without going into details if i was less anal i probably would be right now with friends, working etc.

I am joking, bro. That's just one of the few words I know about the Freudian theory. I didn't think much about it and didn't mean to offend, sorry...

Edited by Recursoinominado

From Brazil

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4 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

I am joking, bro. That's just one of the few words I know about the Freudian theory. I didn't think much about it and didn't mean to offend, sorry...

You didn't offend me 


Nothing will prevent Willy.

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48 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You didn't offend me 

 

46 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

perfect :)

 

In Freudian terms, you actually complimented him big time


Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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On 22/09/2025 at 6:09 AM, Emerald said:

I think the dynamics you had mentioned really just boil down to human beings not being taught much about how to sustain intimate connections with friends, family, and romantic partners... and society growing more an more individualistic and atomized.

I was thinking about this the other day, I think a big problem in the western world is we dont have that many environments where we're just around people regularly and have to get to know them. Traditionally a people would mostly meet romantic partners at school/college, work or friend of a friend. Once out of education that option dissappears and is even hindered more because young people spend more time online and less socialising irl. Remote work or work from home is more prominent and if your friend network isn't great then you wont meet friends of friends. 

As youve said attraction (esp for women) grows the more they get to know someone but its really difficult if theres no where to do that. Personally as im single I had to make a real effort to increase my community and network and even now I dont think its that good but has improved. Before it was almost automatic in society because there wasn't that much of an alternative, but I think now with porn, OF, basically everything online, there are easy ways to avoid the hard work (maybe not as satisfying) 

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5 hours ago, Consept said:

I was thinking about this the other day, I think a big problem in the western world is we dont have that many environments where we're just around people regularly and have to get to know them. Traditionally a people would mostly meet romantic partners at school/college, work or friend of a friend. Once out of education that option dissappears and is even hindered more because young people spend more time online and less socialising irl. Remote work or work from home is more prominent and if your friend network isn't great then you wont meet friends of friends. 

As youve said attraction (esp for women) grows the more they get to know someone but its really difficult if theres no where to do that. Personally as im single I had to make a real effort to increase my community and network and even now I dont think its that good but has improved. Before it was almost automatic in society because there wasn't that much of an alternative, but I think now with porn, OF, basically everything online, there are easy ways to avoid the hard work (maybe not as satisfying) 

That's certainly the primary source of the current issues... less socialization and community interaction in general.

And it makes it so much easier to project scary images onto the opposite sex because the online world is story-world and doesn't operate like the real world. So, it's easy to boil the opposite sex down to its worst qualities and go into Shadow boxing with archetypes rather than real people.

But even beyond the lack of socialization opportunities, people have never really had the knowledge of how to sustain fulfilling and safe relationships. So, you currently and historically have issues with abuse, enmeshment, communication issues, unresolved emotional rifts, incompatibility, etc. Plus, you have all kinds of taken-for-granted ideas about relationships that make these problems worse.

And that has always been the issue with community and relationship. People don't know how to engage in community and relationship in healthy ways. So, now that we can be isolated because of the internet and other material factors, isolation feels like a relief... even if it's also a starvation of sorts.

So, on one level, the solution is to socialize more and to construct society in a way that optimizes for in-person community.

But also, we should be learning in school (from k-12) the ways to co-exist in relationship and community in ways that don't totally traumatize us and squeeze the soul out of us. 

It's crazy to me that we spend 13 years learning math, science, history, etc... but we spend ZERO curricular hours learning how to create and sustain healthy friend, family, and romantic relationships. And it really shows!


Are you struggling with self-sabotage and CONSTANTLY standing in the way of your own success? 

If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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5 hours ago, Emerald said:

It's crazy to me that we spend 13 years learning math, science, history, etc... but we spend ZERO curricular hours learning how to create and sustain healthy friend, family, and romantic relationships. And it really shows!

Yes. Crazy, isn't it? And how to deal with oneself! Nutrition, emotions, acceptance, avoiding excessive ruminating, etc

In my country there are now more and more private initiatives, NPOs that try to shift that a bit towards "more healthy / pragmatic education"

Edited by theleelajoker

Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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On 9/21/2025 at 10:15 PM, Emerald said:

What I would say relative to the model dating Adam Sandler... is that Adam Sander has always been a reasonably attractive guy. He kind of plays a Joe Schmoe type though. But to most women, Adam Sandler is definitely above average in physical attractiveness. And I have no doubt that Adam Sandler could date a model... but mostly because he's a relatively handsome, successful, famous guy who is also bold, funny, charismatic, and socially connected. 

hahah i meant his character in the movie "Click" of course Adam Sandler the actual guy can do very well in the dating field, but still i get your point


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On 9/21/2025 at 10:15 PM, Emerald said:

Let's say that there's a woman who's a 7. She will probably steer clear of guys who are 8s, 9s, and 10s because she won't be able to be the peacock in those dynamics. She will feel like the ugly duckling of the relationship, which is kind of like the female version of emasculation (which kills sexual excitement because a big part of the excitement is about being the desirable woman). Most women don't want the man to be prettier than her.

that's so interesting, you'd think it be the opposite (because using male psychology) most guys would have no problem with and even be totally stoked to date a girl way more attractive than them and do everything to keep her. That's so wild that women actually want the opposite, but in terms of polarity it makes sense.


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On 9/21/2025 at 10:15 PM, Emerald said:

The best thing you can do is be social and be yourself. This quality that women become attracted to in the Cupid's Arrow is 100% unique to you. And the best thing you can do is to let go of strategy and be yourself in your greatest expression... and lean into what you think is cool.

Guys who do all these strategies kind of ruin it and interrupt the organic process... as it communicates commonality and neediness instead of divergence and detachment.

Super interesting. I feel like it's natures way of the chemistry binding between 2 people, the problem (like you mentioned) is that men a lot of the time will repress their authentic self to play attraction games and that can block the actual natural chemistry there. 


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On 9/21/2025 at 11:09 PM, Emerald said:

But all of this Red Pill/Incel stuff just presents narratives that make this kind of deeper bonding exploration in a male/female relationship impossible with guys who are afflicted... in terms of both Masculine/Feminine polarity spiciness kind of way and an eye-to-eye pair-bonding.

Def agree, anytime i've been on red pill type material (even entertaining it) it has signifcantly ruined any chance for genuine and authentic relationship bonding because the mind just begins filtering everything through that narrow, value based lense


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On 9/21/2025 at 11:09 PM, Emerald said:

Pretty much the only safe spaces for it is if you're with a guy who is safe to show it around and who isn't intimidated by it and won't make you feel lesser for it (which can be uncommon to find in a society that's actively brainwashing so many men to hate women and advocate for us to be stripped of our legal rights and protections)... or if you're around other laid back women who value Femininity in a more holistic way.

This is great stuff, really appreciate you sharing


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On 9/21/2025 at 11:31 PM, Emerald said:

And at that point, the juice doesn't feel worth the squeeze. But life is still intertwined and there's still attachment and stickiness. It's a really unpleasant dynamic to be caught in.

Yeah, i've always wondered how people just stay stuck in those types of relationships where they are both disatisfied and nothing is changing. But i can understand the intertwining and fear of pain from ripping that off.

 

Regarding the super excitement of new relationships or turbulent relationships you mentioned - do you think that feeling dissatisfied, bored, or "unsparked" in a relationship is more about the relationship/woman or this addiction to excitement and novelty? 

 

Anyway, appreciate your takes on this.


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