Hardkill

Is “Women only want the top 10 - 20%” actually true offline?

23 posts in this topic

8 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

Probably similar to how most men aren’t REALLY turned on by average women unless she really knows what she’s doing in bed- they both kinda settle in that sense but if they are wise they will focus on reasons to love each other beyond just looks. Most people don’t actually understand Love- mating is just serving survival needs- which is why people like Sadia, Orion and Chris Williamson are famous - they teach survival relating not Love 

My experience has been a genuine preference for who I get into a relationship with... sexually and otherwise. Those things always have gone together for me.

And I've noticed that women, because we have a lot of options, we tend to go for who we really prefer... which for most women is a guy who's fairly average that she has special chemistry with.

Like, I'm never attracted to guys who are significantly less attractive or more attractive than me. The guys in those categories would make me feel unattractive to be with them. So, I am most attracted to men who are in my proximal range of attractiveness... which are average guys.

But for men, they don't have a lot of options. So, there's a tendency to fantasize about 10s but to cast a wide net and settle for whoever they can get.

I think this also leads into men projecting this "settle for who will have you" tendency onto women and feeling down about "Women really prefer Chads... and they just settle for average guys who can't really sexually satisfy them."

And that's because that's the way they feel about women. They prefer extremely gorgeous women that they can't get... but they settle for average women that they aren't that sexually attracted to.

So, they feel like relationship is about settling for a sexually unsatisfying partner and assume that women feel the same way about them. And it makes themselves feel sexually inadequate because of this projection of their own "settle for the sexually unsatisfying one" tendencies onto women.

But if a woman is with a man, she's probably super excited to be with him in particular. Otherwise, she'd pick a different option because women of most levels of attractiveness can afford to be picky.


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1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I am definitely not wrong. You'll find that 7 times out of 10, guys who believe the "Women only go for the top 20%" thing are just projecting their own high standards and objectifying tendencies onto women.

I have several friends and I frequent French forums where men talk about romantic relationships; and when they are average or worse, uglier than average, many have great difficulty attracting any woman, even ugly, fat, etc.; lookmatch or inferior.
I'm not saying that means Black Pill, Pareto, and the like are true; I'm saying that your projection theory is false.
The nature of reality is projective, yes, but it involves similar objects; so men onto men and women onto women, but not men onto women, or vice versa; or, at the limit, projection of the anima onto women, as I theorized in one of my topics.

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But it might be a different dynamic for you... as I think lots of young guys can just have a fear that no woman will ever like them or prefer them if they haven't seen evidence yet of a woman liking them.

So, those narratives (though false) can also provide a less personalized way of understanding why one is struggling to meet someone. It takes the onus of personal responsibility away and says, "It's not tha

t I need to socialize more. It's because women are unrealistically picky".

Maybe I don't have a clear opinion here; I was criticizing your projection theory.

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Or if there is shame, it can even provide a salve of "It's not that I'm awful. It's because women are unrealistically picky."

Rumination alternates between a masochistic and sadistic pole.
And since masochism is primary (you have to be a masochist to shift your attention to an object you don't value, sadism therefore implies masochism), it is generally masochism that dominates, so If you ask people who ruminate a lot, it's usually self-hatred that wins out.
Look at incel forums; there are a lot of hate about other yes but especially self-hatred.

Same for LGBT forums and especially transsexuals btw.

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But if you interacted more with women in person and were generally social, you'd probably find a girlfriend pretty quickly. You just have to be more social.

I'm not talking about myself; I probably won't have much trouble finding someone once my life is more in order, but that's because I'm at an advantage physically financially, etc.

I'm not going to lecture men about romantic relationships who are at a much greater disadvantages, that would be hypocritical.

All I can do that is truly productive is to propose individual and collective solutions.

Edited by Schizophonia

Nothing will prevent Willy.

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2 hours ago, Emerald said:

It seems that the pattern is fairly common.

And it's just completely to opposite mindset one needs to have a real relationship with a woman.

Not only that... but it also scares women off, as women already deal with a lot of shame in the body because of the high beauty standards and how all-encompassing they are. Women are always getting the message overtly and covertly (since early childhood) that, if they're not beautiful that they won't be loved.

The last thing that a woman needs is to feel like a guy is comparing her body to other women's bodies and ranking them. It's the opposite of safety.

So, it's often the guys who have the highest tendencies towards objectifying women will have the most fear about women objectifying them.

It's similar to how cheaters will get SUPER suspicious of their partner cheating on them... just projection.

However, there's also other insecurities that can be at play... like fear of unlovability in general. So, that is the case sometimes with this belief. But I frequently see the 'objectifiers fearing objectification' dynamic play out with these beliefs.

Men are also under increasing pressure; look at all the men who bodybuild and even take steroids.
Even I, who am not very social, have encountered several of them both in real life and online.


Nothing will prevent Willy.

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