Is having no friends bad?

[Peo]

Is friends optional or a necessity? I have made many friends throught my life, thinking it would make me happy and would be fun, but i am in doubt now. Even when I start making great connections with my friends, i always end up being the first one to go home. I don't really enjoy being with them i perfer silience. I have lost many friends throught my life becuase i never bother to put any effort into go out and hang out with them or make some lame excuses to not meet up. I always look forward to going home. I only wanted to make friends to push me outside my comfort zone and improve my social skills.

I have some few friends left, but i feel they will eventually fade away. It is the beginning of the end of my the few friends i have left. I am just counting down the days my friendships end.

The only time I actually crave social connection is when I am high on weed or pshychedelics. Maybe it beacuse I want someone to talk with if a pshychedlics trip turnes into a bad trip. 

 

Can I be successful in life without having friends in life? 

Do I really need friends? Is it bad to have no friends?

I just no longer see the point in having friends anymore. The only thing I see as a reason to have friends is to gain connections and favors for my own personal gains, but that would be incredibly selfish of me. Sometimes i wonder if I am bit of a narcissist. Never done anything bad, but inside my head I am a true devil. 

 

[theleelajoker]

If it's an exchange it's not selfish.

Re the other questions, I don't know. Normally we are social beings but if you're not delusional but truly ok with being on your own, why not?

It's a thin line only you can know how you truly feel vs. you tell yourself a story how you feel re being social 

Edited August 20 by theleelajoker

[Puer Aeternus]

I think a better question to be asked is if you feel you deeply desire the experience of friends or not. 

I mean- it does depend on your goals, but try the whole no friends thing. See what it's like!

Can you dive into the sensation, the part of you that desires no friends? Is there some part that contains falsehood? 

Or maybe you just don't have the right friends? Maybe you're burning through some, maybe the desire is still there. Just, different? 

You really should be asking yourself all of these questions and more- it emotional labor, but don't just trust your intentions and emotions off the rip. They may contain things hidden in them that are meant to dissolve and fade away. Walk on it. Contemplate it. Sense it. Try to do whatever you can to sus it out. Don't fear the emotional labor and uncertainty.

[Peo]

8 hours ago, Puer Aeternus said:

you feel you deeply desire the experience of friends or not. 

I don't

 

8 hours ago, Puer Aeternus said:

but try the whole no friends thing. See what it's like!

I will

8 hours ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Can you dive into the sensation, the part of you that desires no friends? Is there some part that contains falsehood? 

No idea.

 

8 hours ago, Puer Aeternus said:

You really should be asking yourself all of these questions and more- it emotional labor, but don't just trust your intentions and emotions off the rip. They may contain things hidden in them that are meant to dissolve and fade away. Walk on it. Contemplate it. Sense it. Try to do whatever you can to sus it out. Don't fear the emotional labor and uncertainty.

You know I am not very emotinal guy. I just enjoy being alone, but yes you are right about this. I need to contemplate it deeper with emotinal labor whatever that means. 

[gettoefl]

I don't need friends. I can do the needful better alone. I do want friends since it's a delight to share my bounty and boundaries. Friends then are precious because I beckon them on my terms out of having made something of nothing. They are intentional not incidental, indispensable not inconsequential.

[Schizophonia]

We need friends to be happy.

If you don't want to be with people they are not your friend whatever you say. 

[Peo]

20 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

If you don't want to be with people they are not your friend whatever you say. 

I guess you have a point there. I will figure it out, but in the meantime i will focus on my goals in life alone and focus on talking with girls. 

[Recursoinominado]

From a purely pragmatic point of view:

Friendship = Power

Friends are allies in life, just like your spouse and family.

Can you be successful alone? Yes, but it is way harder, and you will never really be safe.

It is not a coincidence that women love men who have a good network of friends. 

It is a highly valuable asset in life. 

When things run smoothly, you may not realize that, but when shit hits the fan, your network (friends, spouse, and family) can save your ass.

They are your tribe.

[EternalForest]

It's not technically necessary but I think everyone should have at least one friend in life. When you're having family problems, romantic problems or just general life overwhelm, having a friend there can really make a difference. Personally, I don't know how I would've gotten through some of my biggest life issues without my friends.

[cistanche_enjoyer]

I see friendships as a good way to practice Love. Not in the romantic sense (which is also good and has its place); but feeling bonded with a group of friends with whom you share interests and past experiences can be very valueable. It's a different facet of Love.

In the end, life is a Love simulator, so what else is there really to do?

Then you can also become enlightened and bask the whole day in the Infinite Love of God instead of socializing, like Leo does. But that will take a lot of work, and you will eventually get there anyway (either through enlightenment or death). So in the meantime why not explore this amazing gift of having friends and having new experiences that you couldn't get alone otherwise?

[Elliott]

On 8/21/2025 at 11:03 AM, Peo said:

I guess you have a point there. I will figure it out, but in the meantime i will focus on my goals in life alone and focus on talking with girls. 

Do you socialize any other way, video games or reddit or something? Family?

[Sugarcoat]

Sometimes we ask questions on platforms not because we necessarily seek an answer, but because we are drawn to these places because of the people here, and as a form of self expression. 
 

You seem pretty clear where you stand in this. But I’d suggest pay attention to yourself if you feel drawn to places like this forum because that could suggest you have a craving (or even a need) for social interaction but that the ones you have irl is just not with the right people, hence unfulfilling.

You can also have a craving without it being a need, meaning that your mental health won’t be worse off without it. That’s where I stand with socializing. I’m a bit of an alien. Most people are wired in a way they naturally need a degree of socialization, they would go crazy alone.

You really have to dig deep into yourself. Do YOU need socialization, irregardless of what the science says that the brain needs, or what people here says is needed for development. Even if something has an effect on the brain, it might not be significant enough to have an effect on your conscious experience, hence it can be ignored.

Also, craving/needing friends for “egotistical needs” like your own development isn’t wrong. People have friends to fulfill their own needs. Developmental needs are also needs. Having friends to learn more about yourself, to grow, to develop emotionally, spiritually, it’s all acceptable ways of relating to people. It might be different and extra self centered but it doesn’t make it wrong. The other person is also getting something out of it.

Also pay attention to if you engage in “social” behaviors in your brain, let’s say if you find yourself talking to yourself, imagining debates, imagining convos. It might suggest a social craving/need

So basically id say the vast majority needs a degree of socializing, be it from family, friends or a partner. It’s exceptionally rare to not need that. But you’re the only one that can find that out for yourself which category you fit in currently in your life

Edited August 24 by Sugarcoat

[Peo]

13 hours ago, Elliott said:

Do you socialize any other way, video games or reddit or something? Family?

Video games i used  to until i got bored of video games. Reddit never. Family no I just go to my room to isolate myself from humanity. 

[Elliott]

49 minutes ago, Peo said:

Video games i used  to until i got bored of video games. Reddit never. Family no I just go to my room to isolate myself from humanity. 

Damn.

Why do you say " go to my room to isolate myself from humanity"? Do you think you may be depressed?

Some people don't need friends. Even just one friend makes a big difference, and then having others if something happens there or they are busy. They're very beneficial when problems in life happen, and when you're dealing with stupid people in daily life.

Edited August 25 by Elliott

[Elliott]

On 8/20/2025 at 4:51 PM, Peo said:

. The only thing I see as a reason to have friends is to gain connections and favors for my own personal gains, but that would be incredibly selfish of me. Sometimes i wonder if I am bit of a narcissist. Never done anything bad, but inside my head I am a true devil. 

 

As long as you look out for them mutually, there's nothing wrong with this, it's the way most friendships are.

Narcissists don't ask if they're narcissists.

[theleelajoker]

12 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Sometimes we ask questions on platforms not because we necessarily seek an answer, but because we are drawn to these places because of the people here, and as a form of self expression. 
 

You seem pretty clear where you stand in this. But I’d suggest pay attention to yourself if you feel drawn to places like this forum because that could suggest you have a craving (or even a need) for social interaction but that the ones you have irl is just not with the right people, hence unfulfilling.

You can also have a craving without it being a need, meaning that your mental health won’t be worse off without it. That’s where I stand with socializing. I’m a bit of an alien. Most people are wired in a way they naturally need a degree of socialization, they would go crazy alone.

You really have to dig deep into yourself. Do YOU need socialization, irregardless of what the science says that the brain needs, or what people here says is needed for development. Even if something has an effect on the brain, it might not be significant enough to have an effect on your conscious experience, hence it can be ignored.

Also, craving/needing friends for “egotistical needs” like your own development isn’t wrong. People have friends to fulfill their own needs. Developmental needs are also needs. Having friends to learn more about yourself, to grow, to develop emotionally, spiritually, it’s all acceptable ways of relating to people. It might be different and extra self centered but it doesn’t make it wrong. The other person is also getting something out of it.

Also pay attention to if you engage in “social” behaviors in your brain, let’s say if you find yourself talking to yourself, imagining debates, imagining convos. It might suggest a social craving/need

So basically id say the vast majority needs a degree of socializing, be it from family, friends or a partner. It’s exceptionally rare to not need that. But you’re the only one that can find that out for yourself which category you fit in currently in your life

That's a great post IMO. Especially the first sentence. There's stuff I can barely talk about with some friends (awakening stuff, illusion of self, experiences of solipism), so this it's partly outsourced to this forum.  Why? Social interaction, exchange, feeling more understood. 

Edited August 25 by theleelajoker

[Peo]

2 hours ago, Elliott said:

Why do you say " go to my room to isolate myself from humanity"? Do you think you may be depressed?

Nope i just don't like being with my familiy, don't get too hung up on the details it is just the way i talk. I like calling people for humans instead.