How i outgrew pick up mentality :

[Majed]

The purpose of this post is to raise our collective consciousness towards recognizing pick up as a scam. Not that it doesn't work to get girls, but in that in the end it does more harm to your psyche and life than good. The problem with pick up is that it is an addiction. You enter a cycle of always wanting more girls, always more approaches, more pick up. And your expectations and ambitions start to become endless and unsatiable. Pick up is a low consciousness trap. And the problem becomes when you get so much success that your expectations become so high that when you're not feeding your pick up addiction, you become depressed and suicidal. I've experienced it first hand. You become so addicted to it, that nothing can make you satisfied except some ridiculous amount of success with pick up and women, that you need to keep up with each week by doing more approaching and pick up. 

So what's the solution you might think, very simple: the path to sobriety: stop approaching women in a nutshell, to get this addiction out of your system. Then you can experience tranquility and peace of mind. Celibacy is the way. You can still satisfy yourself by yourself sexually through masturbation and pornography (but even pornography i think is an addiction, in that it is better to do without it to desexualize your brain, and decondition your mind from porn, but still pornography is way better than pick up, the damage isn't nearly as important as in the case with pick up). Your goal must be detachment, see pick up creates an attachment for success with women, which requires maintenance, and in a sense selling your soul and peace of mind, to this addiction, which is metaphorically the devil. I recommend to reconsider the idea that you need someone to satisfy you sexually, all you need to satisfy yourself sexually is yourself, not anyone else. This mentality brings peace of mind, tranquility, detachment, and a happy satisfied soul. 

I'll end with this, pick up will never bring you contentment. At the end quitting pick up is about reclaiming your values, not selling out for physical intimacy, but rather having a mentality of wanting to be with someone for shared values and interests, be it philosophical and spiritual. (But again even the idea of needing someone is not the correct frame, rather be it to choose a life of celibacy. However doing relationships based on spiritual and philosophical shared interests, passions, and values, is way higher than the pick up mentality. Even though on this scale celibacy would be the highest and best way to live life, in that it makes for a happy and content existence without needing others, things which we cannot control.)

Edited Monday at 08:39 PM by Majed

[Raze]

You were complaining about being an incel and every woman rejecting you just a few months ago. You can’t transcend something you tried and failed at.

[Princess Arabia]

Your problem is using women for sex only. Now you're looking for an alternative. Plenty of men out there are having satisfying relationships with women and enjoying the company of women. They see no need to choose one or the other as in celibacy VS pick up. It's just simply natural for them and they're not necessarily going out to pick up women it just happens. When these men truly enjoy the women they're with and not just looking for a quick horny fix, it tends to be more of a two-way street, things just naturally takes it's course. If break-up happens it happens, if staying together happens, it happens, none if this, I'll go celibate or I'll get this addiction out my system stuff. For you, maybe but that's what happens when it's all about getting laid and using the other sex for self-gratification.

Just because it's that way for you, doesn't mean it's that way for others and they won't have some great experiences with it. It's like some can have just a glass or two of wine and enjoy it or guzzle down the whole bottle and be addicted from trying to fill an empty void. Plenty are meeting women naturally without setting out to pick-up women for sex, that's a more natural approach that doesn't lead to what you're addressing. Looking at women as people who you enjoy the company of and trying to find the one that fits into that will not create these kinds of tension you're experiencing and having to be doing something about. It will always be those who have bad intentions with women that encounter these resistances. If I recall you have some strange fantasies about women and that will reflect how women themselves sense the energy around you. Now you're having to reprogram yourself because your relations are proving to be unsatisfying with women. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Majed]

@Raze I was complaining because of my pick up mentality at the time, which i outgrew now and found peace. 

[Majed]

@Princess Arabia The thing is i understood that all i need to be at peace is my own self.

[Maximilian]

On 8/4/2025 at 1:34 PM, Majed said:

The purpose of this post is to raise our collective consciousness towards recognizing pick up as a scam. Not that it doesn't work to get girls, but in that in the end it does more harm to your psyche and life than good. The problem with pick up is that it is an addiction. You enter a cycle of always wanting more girls, always more approaches, more pick up. And your expectations and ambitions start to become endless and unsatiable. Pick up is a low consciousness trap. And the problem becomes when you get so much success that your expectations become so high that when you're not feeding your pick up addiction, you become depressed and suicidal. I've experienced it first hand. You become so addicted to it, that nothing can make you satisfied except some ridiculous amount of success with pick up and women, that you need to keep up with each week by doing more approaching and pick up. 

So what's the solution you might think, very simple: the path to sobriety: stop approaching women in a nutshell, to get this addiction out of your system. Then you can experience tranquility and peace of mind. Celibacy is the way. You can still satisfy yourself by yourself sexually through masturbation and pornography (but even pornography i think is an addiction, in that it is better to do without it to desexualize your brain, and decondition your mind from porn, but still pornography is way better than pick up, the damage isn't nearly as important as in the case with pick up). Your goal must be detachment, see pick up creates an attachment for success with women, which requires maintenance, and in a sense selling your soul and peace of mind, to this addiction, which is metaphorically the devil. I recommend to reconsider the idea that you need someone to satisfy you sexually, all you need to satisfy yourself sexually is yourself, not anyone else. This mentality brings peace of mind, tranquility, detachment, and a happy satisfied soul. 

I'll end with this, pick up will never bring you contentment. At the end quitting pick up is about reclaiming your values, not selling out for physical intimacy, but rather having a mentality of wanting to be with someone for shared values and interests, be it philosophical and spiritual. (But again even the idea of needing someone is not the correct frame, rather be it to choose a life of celibacy. However doing relationships based on spiritual and philosophical shared interests, passions, and values, is way higher than the pick up mentality. Even though on this scale celibacy would be the highest and best way to live life, in that it makes for a happy and content existence without needing others, things which we cannot control.)

Stop viewing "pickup" as "pickup" the best frame is that you're just an attractive guy who is very social. Women will come into your life naturally because you talk to a lot of people and are attractive.

It is absolutely possible to have healthy relationships from cold-approach. But when "Pickup" becomes your identity, then yeah, it's going to become a problem. 

You're speaking in black and white terms. Is spending all day approaching women a bad thing? Yes. Is not knowing how to approach a girl you find attractive also bad? Yes. 

Edited Tuesday at 09:43 PM by Maximilian

[Emerald]

I'm very curious. You seem to be suddenly shifting perspectives, and that suddenness makes me question why... as people usually don't have such quick mindset changes.

It's not unheard of... but it does make me question if you're going through something or feeling unsure in general and a little unclear about your own values. It would concern me that you're taking too much direction from the outside world and its perspectives.

Like you went from being anti-Vegan a month ago... to then making a post a week ago about needing to go Vegan for ethical reasons. 

And now, you've done a sudden shifts in your perspective away from pick-up.

To be clear, I agree with the mindsets you've shifted into. So, I'm not bringing this up because I disagree. It's just a concern when someone suddenly shifts 180 degrees on multiple things.

[ExploringReality]

33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm very curious. You seem to be suddenly shifting perspectives, and that suddenness makes me question why... as people usually don't have such quick mindset changes.

It's not unheard of... but it does make me question if you're going through something or feeling unsure in general and a little unclear about your own values. It would concern me that you're taking too much direction from the outside world and its perspectives.

Like you went from being anti-Vegan a month ago... to then making a post a week ago about needing to go Vegan for ethical reasons. 

And now, you've done a sudden shifts in your perspective away from pick-up.

To be clear, I agree with the mindsets you've shifted into. So, I'm not bringing this up because I disagree. It's just a concern when someone suddenly shifts 180 degrees on multiple things.

@Majed Your approach and entire world view on pickup is skewed and corrupt. Binary thinking is not the solution either.

You didn't outgrow pick up mentality although the entire field is filled with immaturity, you simply have a dysfunctional relationship with it. Rather than integrating this part of your life, you are denying it and trying to compensate for it and justify how you grew out of it when in fact you're simply repressing it with spiritual jargon. 

There's nothing wrong with going out and having sex with women, but don't do it to get something out of it. Do it because you don't need it to make you happy and it's the joy of living your life. You can still desire women, relationships, sex without it dictating the quality of your life. You're not doing it to get something out of it, especially as a man you're doing it to penetrate yourself into the world because deep down inside you want to fuck the world and you want to fuck your girl.

[Maximilian]

@ExploringReality Sounds like a David Deida quote. I agree wholeheartedly. Go out, approach those women, flirt with them, fuck them and show them who's boss.

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, Maximilian said:

@ExploringReality Sounds like a David Deida quote. I agree wholeheartedly. Go out, approach those women, flirt with them, fuck them and show them who's boss.

I doubt that's what he was saying. He seems to be more respectful than that. Ewww.

[ExploringReality]

47 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I doubt that's what he was saying. He seems to be more respectful than that. Ewww.

Thanks, it went over his head.

[Majed]

@Emerald I think that i have a flexible mind which makes me shift and see alternatives more easily than other people, who aren't into this work.