What distance is considered close to clubs timewise?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

I'd say it depends on how hard you push.

If you handle logistics elegantly, it actually doesn't feel like force. It just feels effortless. Like when a husband perfectly plans out a vacation and handles all the details so the wife can just relax.

If you broadcast fuck boy vibes and push for sex too soon, then yeah that might turn off mature women looking for something long-term.

Even mature women will appreciate some convenience and leading. They may just not need as much.

Yeah hell, yeah I mean, I agree here totally.

I am good enough at reading others - they broadcast intentions through actions rather than words.

I really appreciate when someone uses leverage for that effortless outcome. When a man takes charge and I am comfortable I sink into playful femininity. Otherwise I am taken out of that element which reduces sexual tension and play - I want the masculine/feminine contrast in that situation. I don't want to be a boss bitch any more than I have to (I don't even enjoy it at work, but I have to put on the red stilettos for that role. Again its just a roleplay to me and I switch off immediately when done).

In fact, skilfully navigating someone to sex - the final act is a nod to masculinity itself by consummation. A confirmation by action that skilful manipulation was utilized.  Provided both parties are mature and aren't approval seeking that is.

I use the term manipulation here without any negative associations.

[aurum]

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I really appreciate when someone uses leverage for that effortless outcome. When a man takes charge and I am comfortable I sink into playful femininity. Otherwise I am taken out of that element which reduces sexual tension and play - I want the masculine/feminine contrast in that situation. I don't want to be a boss bitch any more than I have to (I don't even enjoy it at work, but I have to put on the red stilettos for that role. Again its just a roleplay to me and I switch off immediately when done).

Yes I get that sense about you.

It comes through in your posts.

[ExploringReality]

@Leo Gura  Hows the rhino strip club in Vegas? I'm going this weekend with my girlfriend, is it chill back?

[ExploringReality]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Ooops! I did it again

Not Brittany spears 😋

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, ExploringReality said:

@Leo Gura  Hows the rhino strip club in Vegas? I'm going this weekend with my girlfriend, is it chill back?

Why would you take your girlfriend there? It will only make her feel insecure and jealous.

Stop thinking with your dick and take her to a proper Cirque show.

Edited 11 hours ago by Leo Gura

[ExploringReality]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Why would you take your girlfriend there? It will only make her feel insecure and jealous.

Stop thinking with your dick and take her to a proper Cirque show.

were going to her friends wedding bachelorette, they are lesbians so they wanted everyone to join them at the strip club. We didn't mind going and are cool about it, but your right, me seeing beautiful women performing in front of her lol were definitely hitting the Cirque show

Edited 11 hours ago by ExploringReality

[theleelajoker]

11 hours ago, aurum said:

You can take that approach, but you will get laid less.

If you don't care, that's your choice. 

Challenge accepted ; )

Experience so far is that the individual dynamics was far more important. Distance was not a factor. 
 

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You are not doing deep bonding during a ONS. This is nonsense.

Serious bonding comes afterwards, if at all.

 

I think it all depends on the individual definition of "bonding". I like people, so I like to get to know people and connect to them at least to degree. And the reason why is connected to the next point...

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Maybe if you're a woman.

....because I had too many times where I "just had sex with XYZ" and there was an empty feeling afterwards. This feeling of "OK I actually could have done without it". Just sex for the sake of having sex does not give me much. There are ONS I enjoy, but I don't feel like going for every opportunity just because there's "tits and ass" in front of me lol

Some of my friends follow different approach, but I believe it stems from a cultural narrative of "lots of sex = great" and/or sex als seeking approval and self-value. I know guys chasing to maximize amount of sex, otherwise super healthy guys, taking Viagra in their 30s. Well, everybody as his/her own way.

IMO there is the missing component of "quality of sex*quantity = great". And quite ironically: becoming more picky - to say it in your terms - seems "get me laid more"  
 

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Because it's too much bonding.

The whole point of a ONS is that you don't get attached. You have a superficial, fun experience and then release each other.

If you get too attached, it will either ruin the ONS, escalate to a long-term relationship or end up with someone getting their feelings crushed.

I see where there is a risk. Especially because people are - for own experience or cultural programming - used to one way of experiencing life. Communication is key, every time and with everyone a bit different. 

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Most of the time you do not explicitly talk about it at all.

It's all implicit.

Some of it is implicit of course but not all. Of course I communicate with body language, and subtle hints, and reading between the lines. But I am sometimes also VERY explicit in how I see this interaction, what my intentions are, if I plan to see her again, if I just want to go to my room and have fun or if I am really interested in getting to know her more etc etc. Whatever I feel is the right way, implicit or explicit, in the moment.

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The idea that you're going to form some super-deep bond, then have a ONS and happily release each other is nonsense. That's not how it happens.

Saying it's nonsense is just a different way of saying "I did not experience this yet".

Again, I have sufficient evidence that it works. Just yesterday a girl where I had a ONS with and she was interested in more, I wasn't, she send me a message by accident, then realizing that it was the wrong chat.  Tiny interaction followed and ended with her wishing me "have a great day". That truly made me smile.  There was zero bad vibes, just harmony on both sides. Because at every step, we were communicating as clearly, openly and respectfully as possible. 

I believe a huge difference might be that I have been traveling a lot in my life. Backpacking, without home, just going around the world. You often know "OK I only stay here for one day, one week and never come back". So you assume that you will never see the other again + there is great openness to connect and to have a great time.

So in my POV there is a incredible intuitive understanding of "traveler mindset" across people that traveled a lot:

This person in this moment is great for me, the moment will pass, but let's make the goddamn fucking best out what we have right now and we do this by simply letting go, by being authentic and expressing as freely as possible"

 

Edited 5 hours ago by theleelajoker

[Jannes]

"One thing led to another"