How do you meet people, who would resonate with you on your level?

[SimonaMay]

I'm at a stage in my life where I deeply crave intimacy and sex. I consider myself an attractive woman, so finding a random hookup wouldn’t be difficult. But every time I see a guy and feel a flicker of hope — thinking maybe this one carries some depth — I end up disappointed really fast.

Over the last few years, I’ve grown a lot spiritually and emotionally. I’ve become highly intuitive, and I can usually see through people almost instantly. I feel their intentions, their level of self-awareness, and how much emotional depth they carry. And the truth is — most of the time, I see none. And that, for me, is a huge turnoff.

I sometimes wish I could turn that part of me off — just disconnect for a while and have sex for the sake of physical pleasure. But I can't. I sense the shallowness too quickly, and the attraction disappears before anything even happens. I find myself walking away again and again, unable to follow through.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Craving not just any intimacy, but the kind that feels sacred — where you feel truly seen, where both of you can drop the masks, be vulnerable, and meet in presence… but instead, you're met with surface-level energy, performance, and ego?

Lately, I feel like I’ve grown enough to clearly recognize what doesn't align — but I don’t see anyone around me who does. And that’s the hardest part. It leaves me feeling like I’m hanging in this space alone.

[Sugarcoat]

When you are deeply in touch with yourself and know yourself it’s easy to discern who’s for you and not, which you are

Then it’s just a matter of exposing yourself to many people so you actually have chance to meet someone aligned. It’s a practical step, for example joining a group of people engaged in a hobby you like 

And importantly, to present yourself in authentic way where your depth gets to shine when you interact with someone, so the person has a chance to connect with the real you. Everyone might not show their deeper side at first but you can bring it out of them if you do, perhaps it’s more fitting to say so to a man, because stereotypically it’s more masculine to be the one leading the conversation and the vibe.

 

[Miguel1]

Welcome to the gang!

Sadly none of us really have a good answer for that question. Our leader seems to have completely given up on that project!

The best practice is to meet more people. That’s how I deal with it. And to accept that a stage green person is the best you realistically will get.

Spiritual retreats & events that aren’t so hardcore can be an option, but it’s not really a very integrous behaviour to go to a meditration retreat with the agends of getting laid.

On the other hand, going to too shallow spiritual events, and you’ll have the same issue: superficial commercial people dressed in spirituality!

Edited 18 hours ago by Miguel1

[SimonaMay]

Thanks a lot to both of you for your replies 🙏🏼

I think you're right, trying out new hobbies or going to some spiritual events might actually be a good idea. Otherwise, it feels like the chances of meeting someone somewhat awake are really low in my current environment.

And yes, staying authentic and showing my truth sounds like a good idea too — although I find it a bit harder to open up here in Europe without the fear of being judged, compared to how it felt in the US.

[Sugarcoat]

4 minutes ago, SimonaMay said:

Thanks a lot to both of you for your replies 🙏🏼

I think you're right, trying out new hobbies or going to some spiritual events might actually be a good idea. Otherwise, it feels like the chances of meeting someone somewhat awake are really low in my current environment.

And yes, staying authentic and showing my truth sounds like a good idea too — although I find it a bit harder to open up here in Europe without the fear of being judged, compared to how it felt in the US.

You could also introduce someone to ideas of enlightenment and spirituality in case you spot they seem open, not everyone knows about it but it could open up a world for them and you’ll have something additional to connect over.

I live in Europe too in Sweden it’s a quite introvert culture. So I see the struggle. We don’t really talk to strangers as much. Then it’s easier if you go to specific events where socializing is more accepted..

[Emerald]

What I recommend is to attract like-minded people to yourself through authentic expression.... and being willing to be polarizing.

What seems to be happening from how you describe it, is that you're meeting random people and scanning for tells. But that's not going to be effective because you're seeking out needles in a haystack by taking out one piece of hay at a time to check to see if it's the needle you're looking for.

Instead, you want to get a strong magnet... and the polarization will draw out all the needles from the haystack without you having to do an excessive amount of digging.

That means, being willing to be polarizing... as polarization attracts.

So, let your freak flag fly... and 95% of people will get repelled and 5% of people will get drawn in. And that polarization that comes with being authentic is a SUPER EFFECTIVE way to automatically sort the wheat from the chaff in terms of compatibility.

You could also potentially join or start a meet-up group in your area... and likewise being bold in your expression of authenticity within that context. (This means being 100% yourself and openly talking about the topics that interest you.)

And likewise, many people will be repelled... but a small number of people will be attracted (friends and potential lovers).

The more potentially polarizing you allow yourself to... the more attractive you will be to your people. And this will be the pool of friends and acquaintances that you can find a highly compatible romantic relationship in.

Also, always stay in the frame of "Do I like them?" as opposed to "Do they like me?"

It's really difficult to be authentic if you're concerned about other people liking you.

In fact, if you are authentic, most people probably won't be a fan... and some will totally loathe it.

[Schizophonia]

Accept being "shalow" yourself.

[meta_male]

@SimonaMay Yeah... I feel this way too, but with women.

I’ve also reached that point where I can tell within a few minutes if someone’s really present or just performing, and it’s a brutal filter. I don’t even try to force connection anymore, it either resonates fast or doesn’t.

That second part could’ve been written by me. No answers either. Just doing my thing, staying sharp and shaping the kind of environment where the right "fit" might eventually step in. It sucks but the alternative – ending up with anyone just in order to settle – is way worse.

@Miguel1 Funny you mention “our leader gave up on that project”, like this is some spiritual dating cult.

Honestly, I've found the spiritual ones to be the absolute worst, all fancy words and zero integration. Being spiritual is in fashion, so you just get the same people in those groups as you get anywhere else.

[Salvijus]

It should probably happen organicly as you follow your heart's purpose rather than forcing it through the cleverness of the mind. God wants you to succeed in your purpose in life and if a relationship is needed for you to walk your path, He will arrange it for you. Not just relationships but all needs in general will be provided for because now your success is God's success. And God never fails. 

That's one way to think about it least. The way of faith rather than ego. A true test to your spirituality. What you can do to hasten the manifestation of your path is work on becoming open, getting rid of fear and removing the limiting beliefs, have some invocation practice to bring down the guidence and grace aswell. Things will unfold much smoother then. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Salvijus

[theleelajoker]

On the question how / where to meet:

Anywhere and in every way. I met people I resonated with in bars, restaurant, subway, train, meditation retreats, yoga classes, dating apps, in the street, festivals, in queues, through common friends, ... infinite possibilities:) 

How? Being open, being authentic, being aware where your intention goes, and talking to them. Not every person you talk to will be a "bullseye" but the more often and the more authentic I am doing this, the better the fit becomes.

Good luck and enjoy the process!

[Miguel1]

1 hour ago, meta_male said:

Funny you mention “our leader gave up on that project”, like this is some spiritual dating cult.

It was obviously said in a tongue-in-cheeck manner