smart people condemned to be alone?

[Mixcoatl]

I'm not here to explain why I consider myself a very intelligent person — just take my word for it.

The point is, it has led to a lifetime of rejection.
Girls break up with me every time I start revealing the way I think.
New people quickly lose interest when I talk about philosophy.
Old friends have stopped reaching out.

It feels like this world is simply not designed to integrate true difference... and that realization is deeply painful.

Have you found a way to socialize without sacrificing your true self?

[Yimpa]

Rejection is when I am not acting in accordance with my true self.

[Mixcoatl]

20 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Rejection is when I am not acting in accordance with my true self.

That's the thing, the more rejection I get, the more masks I wear. how to break with this?

[LastThursday]

It's probably not a popular opinion but it's masks all the way down. Any form of communication or social interaction requires a great deal of context to be understood. So already you have to pander to that context (i.e. wear a mask) to get anything done. In that way there is no real you that doesn't have the baggage of culture and language and need to fit yourself around who you're interacting with.

You'll have a mental model of who you think is the real you. But there is also the actuality of who you are when wearing your social masks. The dissonance between the two can cause suffering. You think what is being rejected is the real you, but this isn't the case, what is being rejected are the masks you are currently wearing.

Since wearing a mask is unavoidable (because of needing to fit in with context), you should seek to have better ones. For example, what's the difference between a good teacher and a bad one? The good teacher doesn't dumb themself down, they just find a better way to communicate, by understanding who they're communicating to better. That way they can more easily project themselves into the minds of their pupils. They adapt to their audience, instead of expecting their audience to adapt to them.

[Princess Arabia]

If one was that smart, they'd know how to adapt to the different circumstances. So, maybe it's not that it's being smart to know these things alone, but to know the difference when to use that knowledge. I might know what a hammer looks like and how to describe it, but I might not know how to use it. A person might not know what the definition of a hammer is but they know how to use it. Now, who's smarter. Smartness is only defined by what it's being compared to and being smart depends on how the person uses what they define as being smart. If one thinks being smart is knowing a bunch of stuff but not how to use that knowledge then that's not being smart and life will eventually show you that it's all relativistic.

[Princess Arabia]

28 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

The good teacher doesn't dumb themself down, they just find a better way to communicate, by understanding who they're communicating to better. That way they can more easily project themselves into the minds of their pupils. They adapt to their audience, instead of expecting their audience to adapt to them.

Right, and also the smart teacher.

[Princess Arabia]

If the title of the thread was correct, that would mean everyone in a relationship, married or had friends were stupid. Makes no sense and the heading alone isn't a smart way to look at the world. 

[Mixcoatl]

 

19 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

If the title of the thread was correct, that would mean everyone in a relationship, married or had friends were stupid. Makes no sense and the heading alone isn't a smart way to look at the world. 

I don't mean that only stupid people can interact with others. It's more beyond that thing. As Erich Fromm said:

"Those who remain in the flock feel that the one who has broken free constitutes a threat to their own safety; therefore, they feel the need to either bring them back into the fold or destroy them."

I feel that is easier to be a "normal" person that chooses everyday a life without questioning anything, just following the current... They seem to have everything fixed in social life. However, the people that have suffered from ostracism is people that have offered something really deep to the human being, even when they are not recognized in their lifetimes... there are a lot of examples of people like this.

[Mixcoatl]

30 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

If one was that smart, they'd know how to adapt to the different circumstances. So, maybe it's not that it's being smart to know these things alone, but to know the difference when to use that knowledge. I might know what a hammer looks like and how to describe it, but I might not know how to use it. A person might not know what the definition of a hammer is but they know how to use it. Now, who's smarter. Smartness is only defined by what it's being compared to and being smart depends on how the person uses what they define as being smart. If one thinks being smart is knowing a bunch of stuff but not how to use that knowledge then that's not being smart and life will eventually show you that it's all relativistic.

Yes!! I'm not socially smart at all!! that's why I am suffering.

I'm really smart in music and philosophy. But this kind of smartness is sort of useless in current social life.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Mixcoatl said:

Yes!! I'm not socially smart at all!! that's why I am suffering.

I'm really smart in music and philosophy. But this kind of smartness is sort of useless in current social life.

That only feels like that when there's something that is looked for. It's hard for the individual because it puts meaning to everything in relationship to it when it's just life doing life with no meaning and purpose. This is what it means to suffer. No meaning, no purpose, no suffering. Perfect example. It can't be helped, though, because the person searches for a feeling no matter what it does and that can only stop when there is no person there. It goes hand in hand. Even if you say you're going to stop talking to people about that, it's because there's still a feeling being desired. The only thing I can say to that is for you to recognize this and to not blame people for your thinking they're stupid or whatever descriptive word you use, but that it's you being disappointed with not achieving the feeling you were after. Maybe that'll loosen up the tension a bit and relieve the suffering somewhat to nit feel so intense.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Mixcoatl said:

I feel that is easier to be a "normal" person that chooses everyday a life without questioning anything, just following the current..

The words in bold italic "I feel", confirms what I'm saying in the other comment. I don't just talk out my ass without understanding what I'm saying even if I'm wrong, there's still an understanding there even if my understanding of it is wrong. I've just seen too many times of this to be the case by observing myself and others. I just wanted to point out that you yourself confirmed what I'm pointing at. The clues are always staring us in the face if we take the person out the equation. That's hard to do while in it and easier for the onlooker. That's called going meta. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Hojo]

@Mixcoatl you are socially smart you just put 15 masks on that stop you from being socially smart. Life is a dream people come up to you in a dream and talk to you while wearing no mask. You dont have to do anything God is dreaming your life. Things will just happen you just have to be alive. Society trick us into thinking we need to be constantly active with the mind this is wrong. Your life is a dream people will just come and hang out without you doing anything.

Edited 7 hours ago by Hojo

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Mixcoatl said:

I feel that is easier to be a "normal" person that chooses everyday a life without questioning anything, just following the current... They seem to have everything fixed in social life. However, the people that have suffered from ostracism is people that have offered something really deep to the human being, even when they are not recognized in their lifetimes... there are a lot of examples of people like this.

Questioning things is what made me realize a lot. I just question silently to myself and give myself the answers by observing. The people that ostracized didn't feel how they wanted to feel. People don't want to lose themselves and will kill before being killed. Being killed as in their made-up identity. They want to feel and have others confirm what has no ground to stand on. It feels kike a betrayal in a sense. I say I'm this and you're not confirming that and I'm loosing that sense of identity so you have to go - in a sense.

[Mixcoatl]

37 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@Mixcoatl you are socially smart you just put 15 masks on that stop you from being socially smart. Life is a dream people come up to you in a dream and talk to you while wearing no mask. You dont have to do anything God is dreaming your life. Things will just happen you just have to be alive. Society trick us into thinking we need to be constantly active with the mind this is wrong. Your life is a dream people will just come and hang out without you doing anything.

Thanks for saying this! I appreciate

[Hojo]

@Mixcoatl If you stop logically thinking and just pay attention to your imgination you will aquire something called the grace of God. that means things will happen perfectly without you trying. God has a story for all of us but we fight it on accident because we hate ourselves.

We say outrageous things and get in trouble then start to police ourselves. God is imagination and our imaginations are linked. If it comes on strong it means someone will like it.

Edited 7 hours ago by Hojo