Schizophonia’s Journal

[Schizophonia]

16 hours ago, Michael569 said:

@Schizophonia not far from Bournemouth. Might change again this year depending on where we buy our flat/house

I see.

It looks nice.

Edited February 17, 2025 by Schizophonia

[RendHeaven]

On 2/16/2025 at 1:48 AM, Schizophonia said:

Wizard 101

bro that's my game

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, RendHeaven said:

bro that's my game

Eheh, I used to play it when I was little.

Club Penguin too.

[Schizophonia]

[Schizophonia]

Day 24

I don't play many video games, but I still play Paradox games here and there.

Hoi4 is the one I like the least, it's a bit of a nobrain game; it's nice at first and then it quickly becomes quite repetitive and predictable.
There's not much to do, the gameplay pieces added by Paradox during the last updates (espionage) are crap.

EU4 is my favorite game, the gameplay is super balanced and varied, especially with the different DLCs.
Maybe I would say that it's too easy to blob and you quickly end up with a game crystallized around different great powers, sometimes in an aberrant way, even for the time.
If it were up to me, I would make legitimizations more difficult, maybe for example by requiring more or less money, and a lot more rebellions.

Imperatore: Rome is very similar to EU4 on a different pariod, it's kind of a mix between CK2 and EU4 in more recent, I like it a lot too.

CK2/3 is cumbersome; it's mainly a dynasty-based gameplay, it's too tactical for me, too much stuff to manage in general.

I just bought Victoria 3, we'll see how it goes.

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia What type of games are your favorite explained in a simple manner?

[Schizophonia]

17 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

@Schizophonia What type of games are your favorite explained in a simple manner?

You take any state on the map and you make it evolve on a scale of several hundred years. You manage politics, technological development, economy, war against others/expansion, colonization and even dynasties depending on the game.

[Sugarcoat]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You take any state on the map and you make it evolve on a scale of several hundred years. You manage politics, technological development, economy, war against others/expansion, colonization and even dynasties depending on the game.

Very complex answer 

I like slaying zombies on minecraft

Edited February 17, 2025 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Sugarcoat said:

Very complex answer 

I like slaying zombies on minecraft

lol, indeed it's simpler.

Wait for me, it's my duty as a man to protect his bee from these zombies. 

 

gets blown up by a creeper with all his stuff*

 

[Sugarcoat]

17 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

lol, indeed it's simpler.

Wait for me, it's my duty as a man to protect his bee from these zombies. 

 

gets blown up by a creeper with all his stuff*

 

It happens too often 

[Schizophonia]

[Schizophonia]

Day 25

A little less than a year ago I wrote down some dreams that I found complete and interesting to analyze, here is one:

The dream began at my mother's house on what seemed to be my birthday, me and a number of people in my family were all sitting around a table when I opened a gift that they had collectively given me; It was a shotgun.
My mother lives in a residence whose entrance is located on a road that goes uphill; In the second scene of the dream I go up this hill, armed with this shotgun but also for some reason with a machete, and I go towards what seemed to be an grand outdoor Asian market.
This market had a very "red stage" vibe; It was in the evening, the market was lit by red and magenta neon lights, a somewhat "sexual" vibe and there were merchants everywhere of different natures; When I was going up the hill, a little before the entrance there were Asian women, plump, who threw large durian-type fruits on the road to "attract buyers", I was one of those people who were looking for this very durian.
I received a phone call from my mother who made me understand that she did not like knowing that I was here, but I simply hung up cordially and continued on my way.
My father, I remember, did not see a problem with it but had recommended a restaurant to me; I remember this place, it was a restaurant of Japanese or Asian savory dishes in general, I don't remember, which was prepared on site by a cook; In doubt, for fear of being scammed by the service I decided not to continue, not to trust my father and to continue towards the quest for my durian.
In my imagination durian is tasty and a "safe bet", there is no way to be scammed.

Finally, I end up coming across a number of durian trees eheh, but suddenly they start falling on me.
Lots of durian trees fall on me and I find myself on the ground, stunned, and when I get up I have lost my shotgun; So I find myself angry, at least frustrated and with a machete.

The dream ends at the counter of a random store, a merchant hands me a paper that I supposedly have to sign for a petition or something like that.
I suddenly have a doubt when he starts to turn around with his signed paper, so I tear it out of his hands by force to reread it and realize that he has in fact subscribed me to a porn magazine without my knowledge; In anger I attack him with my machete.

 

The analysis (I did it myself quickly for fun, it could be much better with a psychoanalyst who has a lot of experience, of course):

-The Asian market as a whole represents persona possibilities, survival strategies, and the sexual/love market.

-The shotgun and the machete are allegories of different archetypal natures of the phallus; The shotgun is the family phallus, it is the survival strategy generated by the collective unconscious given the family history (especially the paternal family, automatically), its successes and traumas.
It is an effective and safe strategy, whether in the form of this metaphor (firearm) and the strategy to which it is correlated in the dream, that is to say favoring the Asian restaurant.
I lose my scythe weapon because I refused to trust my father and take the risk of being scammed by the restaurant. The machete is the "attavic" phallus, it goes beyond the persona in the sense that it has always been there in the background and was not offered to me by anyone.
When I agree to no longer trust the family phallus, I lose my rifle and the machete becomes my main weapon.

-The restaurant or durian dilemma is the dilemma of which survival strategy to adopt; The restaurant (=strategy rather favored by my family, especially my father) consists of an asymmetry strategy.
To give the context, my father is an absolute hard worker, he has always been a business leader, has had various businesses in personal services and BTC; He has always been financially well-off BUT he also gets "ripped off": People tend to take advantage of his "wealth", and he is in poor health partly because of his work.

The durian consists of a safer and more balanced approach: A decent job, a little savings each month, a nice and balanced girlfriend, etc.
The problem with choosing the durian is the abandonment of the family phallus, and this is automatically associated with a lot of frustration because this phallus is a big part of my life.

The reason why people spend their lives ruminating, maintaining a persona that generates negative emotions, is that they benefit from it, whatever anyone says; Because everything is polarized, if "everyone is against me" then I can be an asshole who is against everyone.
This system allows you to be phallic, and this phallus, even if it is essentially masturbatory, IMAGINARY, a miraje, well it can still seem very powerful.

-The Asian salesman at the end is someone trying to take advantage of my phallus (it could be a woman, someone who wants my money...), I could react laxly and let him sell me proof that I am phallic (porn magazines), but now that I have been amputated from my sophisticated, quite sophisticated family phallus, I am frustrated and I react in a much more brutal way.

[Schizophonia]

Day 26

I worked all day with my dad, no post for today. I'm dead and my ribs hurt, I understand that he's on painkillers (he's a construction worker).

Sleep was good, maybe too much lol, 9 hours in total.
At this point I'll just stop talking about it.

[Schizophonia]

Reality 

Edited February 20, 2025 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Day 27

I noticed that my mother was nicer around me when I was in a frequency close to her exes, without giving details.

Love manifests the possibility of delivering this love, but it will also manifest, depending on the belief system, people hostile to this love; Hate will also eventually manifest a person's love in this way, oddly enough; Everything is possible.

I have at least partially grasped, in broad outline, notably thanks to Neville Goddard (it was his birthday yesterday, peace be upon him), the functioning of the process of manifestation, of creation; The conscious/unconscious echo chamber, the ouroboros.

But it is a devilishly refined process, it is like an outrageously delicate psychic Swiss automatic watch to master, and yet completely simple in its operation; It requires the hands of a pianist.

I should almost make a diary where I write down every 3/4 hours, something like that, as precisely as possible both what is happening in my conscious (emotional world and mental discourse, everything I am "conscious" of and control more or less directly) and what manifests in the inconscious, on what i don't have a direct influence and which I experience empirically.

Abstractions and materiality as Berkeley would say.

The easiest manifestations are in fact, in my case, those that I seek the least because they do not encounter an inverse process; A bit like if my psyche were a big sea with a big mess in the middle; Send even a big boat to go straight and it risks strongly being sent back to the starting point because of the tumult of the waves, but send even a small boat to a rather inconsiderate place, where there are few waves, and it will surprisingly risk arriving there more than most of the other boats that pass through this "Bermuda triangle" of my mental mush of neurotic mad human.

I noticed that my mother was nicer around me when I was in a frequency close to her exes, without giving details.

Love manifests the possibility of delivering this love, but it will also manifest, depending on the belief system, people hostile to this love; Hate will also eventually manifest a person's love in this way, oddly enough; Everything is possible.

I have at least partially grasped, in broad outline, notably thanks to Neville Goddard (it was his birthday yesterday, peace be upon him), the functioning of the process of manifestation, of creation; The conscious/unconscious echo chamber, the ouroboros.

But it is a devilishly refined process, it is like an outrageously delicate psychic Swiss automatic watch to master, and yet completely simple in its operation; It requires the hands of a pianist.

I should almost make a diary where I note every 3/4 hours, something like that, as precisely as possible both what is happening in my conscious (emotional world and mental discourse, everything I am "conscious" of and control more or less directly) and what manifests in the maya.

The easiest manifestations are in fact, in my case, those that I seek the least because they do not encounter an inverse process; A bit like if my psyche were a big sea with a big mess in the middle; Send even a big boat to go straight and it risks strongly being sent back to the starting point because of the tumult of the waves, but send even a small boat to a rather inconsiderate place, where there are few waves, and it will surprisingly risk arriving there more than most of the other boats that pass through this "Bermuda triangle" of my mental mush of neurotic mad human.

I should also take an interest in Berkeley, it seems terribly based; He could be considered the father of idealist monism; a godsend if you are on the line of Leo Gura, Peter Raltson, Ken Wilber, Neville Goddard, Joe Dispenza, etc.

Edited February 20, 2025 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Day 28

I came home late, no post for today. 

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

no post for today. 

Liar 

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

Liar 

lol

[Schizophonia]

Day 29

Same as yesterday.

Tomorrow I will be free, I will make a nice post, I already have the idea.

[Schizophonia]

Day 30

People develop neurotic tendencies to protect themselves from castration (i.e. to avoid being physically hurt, physically, or even humiliated) by transferring the libido from one object to another.
What is a normal libidinal object and what is an abnormal one on which the libido would be transferred is individual, but some objects will be clearly recognized as neurotic by most humans; Nazism, to give an extreme example, is clearly neurotic: Wanting to have military parades, putting eagles and swastikas everywhere, and wanting to massively put populations in ovens are behaviors, delusions, wacky "libidinal wells".
Most of the most dysfunctional people are not psychotics/schizophrenics; They invent objects but they are relatively normal objects most of the time, they are indeed most extremely neurotic people.

Politics and spirituality are probably the areas that feed the most on neurosis; As the neurotic is too afraid of dying, that is to say symbolizing castration, that he prefers to libidinally outbid stupid objects over which he has control rather than being constructive.
This gives this tendency to "live in loops", in a way that is ultimately particularly vain.

We are all more or less neurotic, but especially today because of modern living conditions that are both negative (solitude, family structures, societal structure in general, wealth inequalities) and positive (comfort).

Carl Jung's shadow work is about getting out of your comfort zone (neurotic loop) to confront what motivated its implementation, that is to say strong emotions, sometimes traumatic depending on the degree of dysfunction, which were repressed to guarantee the survival of the system (blocking the symbolization of castration).
Here we find a crossroads between Freudo-Lacanian, Jungian and Arthur Janov philosophy; It's super interesting.

There is no need to do "psychedelic trips", assuming that it worked for a significant number of people lol, it can be simply watching movies, changing sports practice or many other things as long as it allows you to get out of your comfort zone and therefore meet new mirrors; It is precisely in these new mirrors that this shadow sits.
Any situation perceived by the self-concept (the ego) complains a priori about the persona, it will remain paradoxically difficult to change at first because it remains polarized into negative and positive consequences, even if this is denied (and projected onto others in passing).

Example:
"He's an asshole! He's mean to me!" -> Usually I kiss other people's ass to pretend that I'm something other than an obsessive hysteric to whom nothing can be said, but now that I have a mirror in my hand (an asshole) I can be an asshole and call him an asshole.

In this case, to be able to possibly change, I will have to accept that I am an asshole and that I enjoy it, otherwise if I don't recognize it I will automatically not be able to change it (how to change something that I don't recognize).

By changing therefore, we must understand castrating ourselves from the positive effects of this functioning; This can eventually generate physical decompensation, depressive episodes, and learned helplessness in general; especially if you undergo the castration of your neurotic imaginary phallus in a violent and unexpected manner.

Example:
"Everyone is an idiot" -> As everyone turns their back on you since you take everyone for an idiot (which is true, but what individual is the common point between all these idiots?) -> You are angry, ruminate (neurotic response) then, faced with the evidence of castration, its symbolization, you end up recognizing that you are alone and that you suffer from it.