Schizophonia’s Journal

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’m fine

how are you?

Quite good, I slept very well these days and I am well surrounded.

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’ll tell you how it goes

👍

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

Quite good, I slept very well these days and I am well surrounded.

👍

that’s great. Maybe you write in your journal and I can’t remember but what helped you sleep would you say?

and what do you mean by “well surrounded”

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

That’s cool you’ve been able to identify what diets work better or worse for you. I haven’t noticed much in myself

Yea it was essentially autism lol.

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

, I seem to tolerate most food very well. Experimentation is so important to find out what works for you, rather than just going with the science, although the science is still very valuable. 

Science is reliable but biased and does not have the answer to everything in general.

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Joe dispenza seems cool, he seems to have done incredible work. I’m open to those things

Yes, he is amazing. He presents his work in a somewhat sensationalist, American way, but he has tons of results.

If you are still looking to "spice up your life" he has exercises to obtain spiritual experiences, like the breathing exercise for the activation of the pineal gland.
Among others.

[Schizophonia]

4 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

that’s great. Maybe you write in your journal and I can’t remember but what helped you sleep would you say?

Completely accept explicitly all the possible consequences of lack of sleep.
Like accepting to end up homeless and without friendly or romantic relationships because of fatigue, or developing cancer and brain damage because of lack of recovery.
Then the sleep anxiety disappears and paradoxically you can sleep and recover again.
Sleep doctors generally just ask "to accept not to sleep" but that is not enough, you have to target morbid thoughts directly.

Then it is not only sleep anxiety, it is also hypervigilance; So you have to learn to spot when the thought loop switches to subjects that require too high a degree of involvement and have better sleep hygiene so as not to go to bed too excited. Watching certain types of videos helps to soothe.

4 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

and what do you mean by “well surrounded”

Familly and friends.

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, Salvijus said:

No I get weird unpleasant simptoms from doing breathing exercises so I shy away from them. But Joe Dispenza is an interesting one. 

I felt pressure in my face, my skull in general.

[Sugarcoat]

59 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Yea it was essentially autism lol

how?

Quote

59 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Science is reliable but biased and does not have the answer to everything in general.

 

True thats why I combine it with intuition and personal experience

Quote

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

Yes, he is amazing. He presents his work in a somewhat sensationalist, American way, but he has tons of results.

If you are still looking to "spice up your life" he has exercises to obtain spiritual experiences, like the breathing exercise for the activation of the pineal gland.
Among others.

 

Thats cool

Breathing exercises seem very powerful ive thought about doing it

[Sugarcoat]

55 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Completely accept explicitly all the possible consequences of lack of sleep.
Like accepting to end up homeless and without friendly or romantic relationships because of fatigue, or developing cancer and brain damage because of lack of recovery.
Then the sleep anxiety disappears and paradoxically you can sleep and recover again.
Sleep doctors generally just ask "to accept not to sleep" but that is not enough, you have to target morbid thoughts directly.

Then it is not only sleep anxiety, it is also hypervigilance; So you have to learn to spot when the thought loop switches to subjects that require too high a degree of involvement and have better sleep hygiene so as not to go to bed too excited. Watching certain types of videos helps to soothe.

 

Acceptance seems important to me yes, its. twisted how it works.

57 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

Familly and friends.

Understood

[Schizophonia]

11 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

how?

I joked. 

11 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

True thats why I combine it with intuition and personal experience

spot on

11 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Thats cool

Breathing exercises seem very powerful ive thought about doing it

I recommand his book. 

 

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia Ok 

[Schizophonia]

Day 20

I went to a restaurant with my father unexpectedly. I want to go to bed early so I'm not going to make a real post for today.

Let's say it was a good day, classic.

The best was ordering Neville Goddard books eheh, 3 in total, I just finished the two books I had to read so it's perfect timing.

The worst was sleeping, I slept properly but in several times and having quite a few nightmares, not horrible things but still quite annoying.
I dreamed that I was in what was supposed to be a big high school organized like an airport, I had to choose a destination that was supposed to be a "life path", in an archetypal Jung style form; The atmosphere was heavy, everyone was quite stressed and/or euphoric and even disguised themselves, depending on the chosen path, to the professions they were supposed to be trained for.
I had chosen something quite simple and easy by default and pressure from my mother, but especially by default by "cowardice", it was a training like to plant flowers lol, I don't remember but it was something stupid like that. But at the same time I was bored and even if it was intimidating, I had a strong desire to join another course which this time was supposed to transform me into a soldier, I had passed in the alley to register for this course and I recognized old acquaintances who were rather friendly to me among other students then dressed in military uniform. As I said before it was intimidating, and at the same time exciting; I felt it as being the real "deal".

 

Edited February 13, 2025 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Day 21

I am more and more construct aware, to the point where I regularly do not know how to react in social contexts.

It is not just that I can contemplate how I force myself to be goofy when my "higher self" would actually like to be serious and vice versa, how I force myself to say "lol" instead of "ahah" instead of an emoji or instead of nothing at all; I can see how I embody a character, a persona with its own frequency, with its own emotional and logical patterns and I am not even really sure of the existence of this "higher self" anymore.

Franck Lopvet, one of my main "gurus" if we can say it like that lol, thinks that it is basically an infinite succession of masks, but always masks, with their negative and polarization.

Anyway I try to play a fairly balanced character, I tried a little to put myself in a persona close to that of Leo Gura, like very serious who reproaches everyone for not "being mature" but strangely this frequency makes me rather lethargic and solitary, not very creative or enterprising.
I feel better by injecting a little impulsiveness into my persona; It's a bit like the aromatization of testosterone into estrogen in men (🤓), if testosterone is high but aromatization too you will have a manic and potentially antisocial behavior, too little and you will seem dry and weak.

 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2025-02-12 at 9:48 PM, Schizophonia said:

I know honey 😎

 

More seriously, I just think that I have a way of taking refuge in mental loops, my imagination in general, and this seems to protect me from depressive episodes, I assume.

I missed this reply

 

i feel I used to be like that. I used to have a rich imagination that would give me a lot of pleasure

thats good you don’t go into depressive episodes

[Sugarcoat]

10 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I also have my little secret 

 

...

 

 

👀

 

 

...

 

Turns his head to the right, towards his phone.* 🤏🤏

-"Thanks Sora AI, now make me a hot video with this girl " puts the photo of his pocket suedo-croatian hottie*

-"This content has been filtered. Please make sure your chats comply with our Terms and Community Guideslines"

-"☹️..."

 

Eats his peanut butter sandwich disappointed*

That’s very creative of you

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

Btw I must have already said it but I can delete if I say stuff that is too embarrassing, I don't care.
It just makes me laugh.

It’s okay here in your journal it won’t derail threads 

[Schizophonia]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

l it won’t derail threads 

I'm not talking about what is allowed or not, I'm talking about your desires.

[Sugarcoat]

15 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I'm not talking about what is allowed or not, I'm talking about your desires.

I don’t mind at all. I like having you as a contact in general.  I don’t really react to it much (I’m very neutral ) I’m very stone face lol 

Edited February 15, 2025 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

49 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t mind at all. I like having you as a contact in general.  

I saw the modification of the message to please me 😂

Nevermind, ty you're sweet.

 

49 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t really react to it much (I’m very neutral ) I’m very stone face lol 

I understand, not a big deal.

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I saw the modification of the message to please me 😂

Nevermind, ty you're sweet.

lol 

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

I understand, not a big deal.

It’s not fun to have no emotion

 

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

@Sugarcoat

Nothing to do, as planned I can't play this weekend, but I could play next time.

If you're looking for a cool game, even if it's just to play alone, Portal 2 is available on Steam for less than 1 euro right now; Minecraft is ok but it quickly gets boring.

I also recommend the Paradox Interactive games, even if it's rare that girls like them, even if you're an alien.

 

No problem

I like Minecraft survival I’ve been challenging myself by going into caves and progressing a lot 

but thanks for the suggestions

[Schizophonia]

4 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

It’s not fun to have no emotion

Next time I'll put some MDMA in my suitcase ahah.

Jokes aside I understand, you explained to us enough what was happening.

It's in March that you try Risperdale, right?

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

No problem

I like Minecraft survival I’ve been challenging myself by going into caves and progressing a lot 

It's nice to pass the time but it's quite repetitive.
So in the end I just end up squatting in the caves too and then rage quit after doing something stupid like dying in the lava in the neither or blown up by a creeper with my stuff on me.

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

but thanks for the suggestions

👍