Chadders

Developing detachment as an emotional man

13 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I am starting to lean into pick up more recently. General chatting and flirting with women in the day time. Mostly in coffee houses. I am new to pick up just dabbling in it 

It’s clear to me that if you are detached then you will be more successful. I reckon a lot of people in pick up are in fact high on the sociopathic scale making you less inhibited by emotions. There’s this pick up artist I came across recently called Richard LaRuina and he has obvious sociopathic traits - he’s very charming and very detached.

But if you’re a regular emotional guy like me it is harder so it begs the question what is a healthy way to develop detachment?

Obviously suppressing emotions is a bad thing. Guys get the wrong idea about that and think they need to be logical and all that crap

In recent years I have become a lot more detached and I put it down to these reasons:

1. Being more connected with consciousness so you do not need things so much including women

2. Understanding that power is in being vulnerable and fully embracing it

3. knowing that it is not up to you how the situation ultimately unfolds but the universe

I still need to develop my detachment in a healthy way so wondering if people have any ideas

Edited by Chadders

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Yes i have 100 ways its basically looking to become a man and learn game(rooting in onself)...

I would tell you to watch the show Wednesday first,i recommended it many times study her mindsets then we can talk..


Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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Congrats! You are already on the right track :) 

Additional ideas would be Sedona Method. Releasing your emotions. Basically Emotional Mastery.

Have you already watched all of Leo's episodes on emotions?

 

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My perspective as an attractive female lol. Don't wanna brag just ultimately I know is true in my experience: I am young, exotic looking, fit and get approached frequently. I am in a committed relationship so obviously now its an instant sorry I am in a relationship, but when I was single this is what I would find attractive:

The detachment comes from the guy feeling worthy. They know they are intelligent, attractive in their own ways, and overall, whether you join them on their fun or not they are having a great time with or without you. This as a woman is magnetic. 

Of course you want to be around someone who is having fun by themselves, and who you can clearly feel don't care so much about you. I mean think about it, you're just a stranger, why would you care so much about a stranger? When you know you are a 10, you work on yourself, you work on your physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual wellbeing, if someone doesn't want to be in your experience good. If you care so much it lets me know subconsciously you are needy. Which means you don't talk to women a lot, scarcity mindset etc. (SUBCONSCIOUSLY)

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Meditation.


Be-Do-Have

There is no failure, only feedback

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Detachment will make you more successful, not because you will be a better option for women if you're detached, but because individual women become mere numbers to you. And you can be more efficient at playing the numbers game, you can break women's hearts without batting an eye. 

I don't believe it's possible to be 'detached' and 'healthy' at the same time. To be 'healthy' in relationships, means to own and accept your (and other people's) attachment-relationship needs and to find a workable configuration. I would strongly advise against being 'detached' with women. Even if you get laid, you won't have an exit-strategy from the player-lifestyle if you truly become detached. 

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Posted (edited)

@lizz_luna You just wrote a mini mona lisa right there👏👏,that is everything what a person rooted in themselves is and what game is about,took me by surprise that a woman wrote it ,since when i would talk about this, i would get attacked.Right from the hourses mouth 💯💯

Edited by NoSelfSelf

Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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@mr_engineer you can only love yourself by being detached and if you cant love yourself women wont love you,so you dont know what you talking about.


Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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5 hours ago, Ulax said:

Meditation.

BIG THIS.

Also, you don't have to suppress your feelings.  If you're meditating: FEEL those feelings, get into them, lean into them and then at one point you will realize you feel better by feeling those feelings that you can put it aside after you realize your worth.  You're not suppressing, nor are you bottling it up inside -- you're feeling them and then discarding them when you realize it's just a feeling, like any other feeling.  This is the healthy way because you will be at peace.  You're not coping by suppressing it, nor are you compensating being trying to be an asshole and forcing yourself to be a detached person -- you're more like "huh... I guess I was tripping about her and a little bit obsessed.  That's funny lol" and you keep it moving.

At one point, you're going to have to beat women away with a stick once you're flourishing and minding our own business.

 

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Posted (edited)

@lizz_luna some good stuff there

yeh I’m definitely on the way to becoming a more attractive man. I actually thought to myself that this is what my personal development in my 30s is going to be. I have just turned 30

I still have insecurities though and it’s fully embracing that. I actually felt on reflection that my lingering anxiety around it is not because of the fear of rejection per se but actually because hitting on women in this flirtatious and direct way is unfamiliar to me. I never had a role model into this so I’m feeling into it as I go and embracing that identity 

The light of consciousness and divine spirit helps on the journey 

Bless you

Edited by Chadders

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Posted (edited)

@mr_engineer for the detachment this is advantageous in the attraction stage so I don’t mean in an actual relationship

So for sociopaths yeh they have an easy time hitting on women because they do not have the same emotional connectivity though in relationships I can only assume they cannot connect at that deeper more spiritual level 

I say to detach not by numbing myself but by being more connected with the divine so I do not need though I may only want the material goodies of life, the experiences etc 

Edited by Chadders

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Posted (edited)

I think this is an important topic actually to get right. A lot of guys think to be detached means to suppress which of course leads to dysfunction

It takes years of development

Edited by Chadders

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Posted (edited)

4 hours ago, Chadders said:

@mr_engineer for the detachment this is advantageous in the attraction stage so I don’t mean in an actual relationship

So for sociopaths yeh they have an easy time hitting on women because they do not have the same emotional connectivity though in relationships I can only assume they cannot connect at that deeper more spiritual level 

I say to detach not by numbing myself but by being more connected with the divine so I do not need though I may only want the material goodies of life, the experiences etc 

Heal childhood-traumas that make you take rejection personally. 

Rejection will never stop hurting, no matter how 'detached' you become. But, if your traumas don't get triggered, moving on will become easier. 

Edited by mr_engineer

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