Nihilism, loneliness and surrendering to the life: any thoughts?

[k-ahmadzadeh]

Hello everyone!

First of all, I want to mention that this post is not written to whine and complain. I am writing it to kindly receive some wise philosophical responses - not common advices. Perhaps Leo also has new insights on this topic. 

A) I immensely suffer from loneliness. However, I am on the way of 'radical acceptance' proposed by ACT therapy. I am completely black-pilled and do not believe it is possible to have a relationship with a woman I find attractive because I am not handsome. I am currently 26 years old and healthy. This indicates that I will spend the long years ahead alone.

(When I say black-pill, I do not mean the misogynistic ideology, but rather the view that physical characteristics are decisive in dating)

B) I am a nihilist, apolitical, and have completely lost my faith and feelings regarding the value of any ideologically-based social action in the world. This means that I have no motivation for any so-called "meaningful" engagement with people (ex.: in politics, education and so on). My motivation to contribute something to the world has completely disappeared, and now this idea seems funny and childish to me.

So, I don't make a slightest effort to gain social identity (which is illusionary) and status. 

In summary, as I have no commonality with others, I am spiritually completely isolated from society. As a result, I feel physically alive but spiritually dead. It seems that I am experiencing nihilism very deeply.

Due to years of loneliness, nihilism and financial problems, I sense that I'm surrendering to life and signing capitulation 🏳️🏳️🏳️.

What are your philosophical thoughts in this regard whether descriptive or normative? How sustainable is joy-less life?

Edited May 20, 2024 by k-ahmadzadeh

[Lyubov]

52 minutes ago, k-ahmadzadeh said:

Hello everyone!

First of all, I want to mention that this post is not written to whine and complain. I am writing it to kindly receive some wise philosophical responses - not common advices. Perhaps Leo also has new insights on this topic. 

A) I immensely suffer from loneliness. However, I am on the way of 'radical acceptance' proposed by ACT therapy. I am completely black-pilled and do not believe it is possible to have a relationship with a woman I find attractive because I am not handsome. I am currently 26 years old and healthy. This indicates that I will spend the long years ahead alone.

(When I say black-pill, I do not mean the misogynistic ideology, but rather the view that physical characteristics are decisive in dating)

B) I am a nihilist, apolitical, and have completely lost my faith and feelings regarding the value of any ideologically-based social action in the world. This means that I have no motivation for any so-called "meaningful" engagement with people (ex.: in politics, education and so on). My motivation to contribute something to the world has completely disappeared, and now this idea seems funny and childish to me.

So, I don't make a slightest effort to gain social identity (which is illusionary) and status. 

In summary, as I have no commonality with others, I am spiritually completely isolated from society. As a result, I feel physically alive but spiritually dead. It seems that I am experiencing nihilism very deeply.

Due to years of loneliness, nihilism and financial problems, I sense that I'm surrendering to life and signing capitulation 🏳️🏳️🏳️.

What are your philosophical thoughts in this regard whether descriptive or normative? How sustainable is joy-less life?

I don't do philosophy but I can tell you now you are creating this entire problem for yourself. You are creating it through your beliefs. What you are experiencing are painful emotions and those are from beliefs that are out of alignment with truth. What you need to do is do self inquiry and ask yourself why do you choose to create loneliness? What exactly is going on here? Philosophy is not going to resolve these issues. You listed a bunch of stuff that are just flat out untrue. You say you can't find a woman that's attractive because you aren't handsome? Who says you are not handsome? What about all the guys that look like you that have a beautiful GF/wife? You see you are ignoring all the evidence and positives to find evidence to fulfill your false beliefs and lies that you aren't good enough / unlovable.

So I would say the first step you need to ask yourself is are you creating this problem for yourself ? You are the creator of your emotions, you are not the victim of them: do you agree with this statement?    

Edited May 21, 2024 by Lyubov

[Rafael Thundercat]

On 21/05/2024 at 0:32 AM, k-ahmadzadeh said:

I don't make a slightest effort to gain social identity (which is illusionary) and status. 

Why Dating is Broken in 2024 - What Boomers don't understand (youtube.com)

This Guy is your age 26, this is his analisis. Yes we have problems, stuctural but to quit is not a option, or if one wish one can quit, but them no complains anymore.

 

[Leo Gura]

This is a big mental trap you've put yourself in.

Philosophically it is garbage. You are using this "philosophy" to bypass actually engaging with life and doing challenging but rewarding things, like dating or starting a business.

You need to admit to yourself that this philosophy is trash and adopt a new philosophy of passionate engagement with life.

Edited May 22, 2024 by Leo Gura

[mmKay]

@k-ahmadzadeh how does your hour to hour day look like ? What about your days/weeks? What do you actually spend your time doing?

[Ishanga]

Once You identify with things You are not, the Mind will go crazy (as it has with You unfortunately) and nothing in this Universe can help You, so the problem of Identity! 

This is a huge problem with most all the population, we are inundated with all sorts of information/data sources, that are conflicting as well, this puts us in a major mode of confusion, first we think too much (ppl are having 50K+ thoughts a day), and those thoughts are conflicting, so it puts lots of mental stress on ppl to a high degree.  So first drop all this, stop philosophizing life away, just go out and live, don't live via the thought or psychological process which is not Life at all, just recycled data your brain has collected over time,

Learn how to breath right, sit right, think right, live right, calm down Your nervous system, live more in the moment rather than past or future, stop judging so much, and just be present in day to day awareness, first establish a sense of Peace, then go from there, otherwise life will become more torturous for You!

[UnbornTao]

It seems to me that people adopt nihilism, or "fuck it, it's all meaningless anyway" as an ego defense mechanism in order to justify laziness, complacency, and cowardice. It's disempowering and unnecessary, and just intellectual. It is an activity you're doing.

Better think of what you want to create in life, then go do that.

Edited May 25, 2024 by UnbornTao

[k-ahmadzadeh]

Thanks a lot to everyone for the responses!

@Rafael Thundercat As I mentioned, I don't intend to complain about my personal problems here. I am just seeking for some perspectives on my life 'philosophy' - whether I am right, or how alternative approach can be proposed to this. Because I believe this is the highest quality forum in the world in terms of discussing these issues. 

 @Leo Gura Leo I appreciate your wisdom and admire to you a lot! I would kindly disagree on the point that I am using this thinking style to justify my inaction. The problem here is that, my perception of the world makes me very unmotivated, because I don't see any valuable reward in the future if I would commit myself so called 'meaningful' activities. So, it is the cause of inaction. Basically, I only work to continue to survive and build more 'physically' comfortable life.

I observe my mind and, realize that the nihilism and perceived powerlessness of myself is so deeply penetrated my 'soul' that I've lost my creativeness. In interaction with people, or in work I simply don't propose any new idea or initiate anything new. I am completely pacified.  

But your point is good. Maybe I need to do more self-inquiry to be able to an find alternative philosophy.

@mmKay I spend my days / weeks just with working, sometimes meet with my colleagues, and do some escapist staff, like watching documentaries, movies. I almost don't use any social media and don't socialize in bars, clubs or events. Basically mostly lonely and monotonous life.