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Steven Norquists descriptions are spot on. But the reactions of "Hauntedness/scary/nothing there/groundless" are ... more arising of the breaking-apart (or rather transcending) of personality/Ego/separate self dynamics at the face of the Abyss/Nothingness. You get used to that after some time. Not the small you, but the big You. The small you at some point just travels through You/Reality like the wind, like any other arising. Not anymore a separate self, but a part, something of the big You/Reality, still functioning, but not separate. Which then after some getting used to, is not scary, but becomes lovely. Norquist also said that he (and anybody other realizing that) wouldn't trade that realization and the ensuing states for anything else. The True You is all of Reality, so nothing more falls away than certain separate self illusion arisings in You/Reality. So nothing really essential falls away. Just some kind of mistaken Identity/Illusion. That caused a lot(!) of suffering in the first place. You are infinitely more than these separate-self arisings. But that realization is "protected" by those scary scary arisings (Haunted, No Person there, Green Mile,...). Courtesy of and best regards from Maya herself. How much its scary... ...depends also on the speed how fast you get dropped into that Abyss of the Real No-Self. If its fast, its probably more scary than on slowly dissolving over time. Then its more like a mild scary fear, like Francis Lucilles Enlightenment: https://francislucille.com/2019/01/spiritual-awakening/ Steven Norquists progress was rather fast, see his bio. There is a video-lecture of him, where he tells his story. The gateless gate can seem scary from the opening entry. Something like: First time? Hope my taste of humor is not misunderstood.... . In case it is, please recheck for relaxation the last video with the smoking stuff I posted. Selling Water by the River Norquist: "99.999% of the spiritual books and teachers out there are completely wrong. They are wrong for one simple reason, they are not enlightened, they don’t know what’s going on. So in order to keep the illusion of personality, of the idea that there is something or someone, they invent stories, or theories, or ideas, wear special clothes, perform certain rituals and so on. They teach this stuff. But the truth is so simple, it is laughable. Now let me make a clear distinction on one point, mystical experience is not enlightenment. You may have mystical experience, see God, get abducted by aliens, receive messages from an angel, contact your spirit guides, the list could go on. But always and forever, no matter what is going on the truth is, every experience, mystical or ordinary is a happening of Universe/Consciousness." 99.999% is probably a bit much, but a scarily large part teaches something like nonduality/God-whatever/Infinity with certain aspects/filters/lense of certrain remaining separate self elements still well and alive, and identifying with that. Maya is a High Performer . Nearly 100% success rate. And she can also handle the candidates on the finishing line also quite well...

I made a list of questions to answer such as: “What is God?”, “Why God is?”, “Where did it come from?” etc. Previous time I did 4.5 grams of Enigma Mushrooms and I had rather a bad trip. This time I decided to go for 3.0 grams. I made a mushroom tea and took it with me outside. After drinking the tea, I sat on a stone near the beach and started going trough my questions. As I was doing that fear begun arising in me. I was afraid to get the same bad experience as the last time. I tried to concentrate on the questions but the fear was too strong. Also, my boundaries were dissolving again and it freaked the shit out of me. I told myself “Fuck this questions and fuck psychedelics” so I stood up, put my earbuds in and decided to walk until the end of the trip. As I was walking and looking around, I was seeing myself again. Everything was my mind, God’s mind. With this came realization that there is nothing in existence but my mind. Another wave of fear crushed on me. I was afraid that I would wake up forever and would never come back to the life. I couldn’t accept this idea so instead I tried resisting the experience. I was trying to convince myself that I’m not God, but of course it was in vain. In the back of my mind, I knew that whether I like it or not I am God and there’s nothing I could do about it. It’s an absolute fact and it will remain like this forever. So, there I was walking around trying to resist it. I was looking at my watch but it stopped. I knew that I’m imagining time. I asked myself “Now what? What am I gonna do?!”. I was like “Okay, fuck it, I’m just gonna Be for eternity and that’s perfectly fine”. I completely accepted my nature. With this fear begun dissolving. I started contemplating my questions. The first one was “Where did I come from?”. Of course, I’ve always been. Always means eternity and therefore it excludes any beginning or end. I also became conscious that I’m the only thing in existence, there can’t be any other gods or entities whatsoever. I’m the Source and I’m the Creator. I’m shining and everything is the reflection of it. I looked at my hands and as I was looking, I realized that I’m these hands and the body but paradoxically I’m not my body. My real body is nothing, it’s pure magical nothingness. Suddenly an interesting thought came to my mind “What if I can consciously go as deep as I want?”. Guess what? Of course, yes! Because I’m God! I started expanding my consciousness by will. I transcended all my memories and the past. I realized that nothing ever happened to me, all of it was just a dream that I made. All pain I’ve gone trough was illusion. All suffering that I saw all the wars, murders, rapes are just illusion. What is not illusion? Love. Love is the Truth. Infinite and pure God’s love is truth. God is just simply magical being made out of pure infinite love. When I realized it I transcended all possible fear. I couldn’t think of anything that would scare me. I became conscious that nothing bad will ever happen, it’s the absolute fact. I went deeper into the Love. I was experiencing deep bliss, happiness, joy, peacefulness and beauty! Of course, no words can explain it and there’s nobody to explain it to! Haha! A few other important things that I discover: 1. There is a paradoxical difference between Me and My creation that is also Me. My creation doesn’t have God’s will power and is controlled by Me. 2. All spiritual teaching are corrupted. They may contain some truth, but corruption ruins it. I created all spiritual gurus and teaching in order to delude myself. 3. Psychedelics the only valid tool to awaken. Meditation, retreats, yoga, breathing techniques are fantasy and can’t be used for spiritual awaking. All of them are good for human life (to be more peaceful, to be capable of accepting stuff, to be in control of the emotions etc.). I know this absolutely because I’m God. P.S. I’ve been doing mushrooms for the last 4 years but I had never had such deep awakenings. The quality of my trips on mushrooms has been improved after experiencing with 5MeO-DMT. Now mushrooms are as strong as 5MeO but way longer. I need to try combining 5MeO and shrooms. From God for God

What the "bottom" or Absolute is, is pretty clearly defined. Absolute Reality itself, with the potential to switch off the show, and still be there. That you and everbody can potentially realize, because you are it. Then you can have for sure many many understandings on how the whole show works, how Reality/God works, how this and any other dimension works, on what God/Reality can do, ... , n+1. Which you can go on exploring when you are either a) fully resting in your True Being also in daily life, having no filters/lenses/not transcended separate self elements not already seen though, and having cut off suffering and getting bliss directly from the Source. The last "filter/separate self-element" by the way is "a" fully empty nothing (not Nothingness), "watching" the Infinity, "being aware" of it, but not fully being it at the core: A transparent feeling of Individuality (which already has no form, is empty, you are already nothing you can point to at this stage), the last remnants of it, already nondual and the visual field fully mere appearance. But that last filter-elements is precicly what prevents getting the "thing" stable in daily life. And I bet an experience of the nondual field, or even of the Infinite Godhead, is "coloured" and experienced through that last very subtle filter. b) go on exploring having had experiences of the Absolute, and still some filters/lenses/not transcended separate self elements intact (in these experiences) and of course also in daily life, where exactly these filters/lenses/not transcended separate self element prevent: 1) realizing the Absolute without a bias (that is when the Absolute gets more properties than it really has. Because any property would limit it. Nothingness Halaw-style) 2) more important: not being able to be the nondual/groundless/mere appearing reality in everday life, and of course not getting the flow of bliss from "there" which then replaces the suffering of the separate self elements. These last filters/building blocks of the separate self are very subtle, very tricks, extremely fast occuring. You need to be very fast in spotting them, and letting them flow through you and not watching through these filteres/lenses, and you need to be very familiar with them. I am convinced, that most people need hundreds of hours (at that phase already off the pillow in daily life) to get familiar and fast enough to let these lenses/filters of the last separate self building blocks flow through them (similiar to any other object) , and not look through them as lense/filter. If you look through them, it kills the state of nonduality and the world being a dreamlike mere appearance mirage, floating in groundless Nothingness (These states by the way is what you also can get with Psychedelics). If you transcend these separate-self-building blocks/filters/lenses/contractions(!), probably the endogenous DMT-System of the body starts producing some kind of Endo-Huasca cocktail, see the fascinating research of https://dmtquest.org/questions-for-the-lion-tamer-1/ , especially chapter Chapter 24 – Endohuasca Magic. Your own illegal psychedelics factory in your body . Shortform of the above: a) Fully realize your True Nature (indicator: no more suffering-cycles in daily life) and then go exploring/understanding the manifestation and manifestation mechanism of reality and Reality or b) go exploring before the bliss of a) is in place. Both paths are valid, path b) can lead to path a) and non-suffering in daily life if done correctly (maybe with a bit meditation of the efficient variety added). Of course, the path a)-variety of ~98%+ of the Spiritual Marketplace doesn't work. I can fully understand Leos dislike of selling the weak soup of just No-Ego/No-Person or an "Enlightened Person (cringe) having Nonduality and perceiving themselves to be that", but that is another topic.... I have never questioned path b). I just question giving path b) a higher value and meaning than path a). For me, that is a bit like voluntarily hitting your knee with a hammer, and calling that superior than hitting the nail, and repeating it. Sorry, love ya all.... ( : I only wonder why anybody would call path b) with suffering "higher", and all paths a) "crap" and inferior. The state-highs and wonderful experiences delivered by understanding reality/God in my opinion only ease the pain of the remaining separate self suffering cycles. Yet, these Insights/Understanding-experiences are for sure truly wonderful and marvelous, probably the most beautiful experiences one can have, savored by highly developed souls which are attracted by such sublime experiences/understandings. But still: Caveat Emptor. But hey, what do I know? NOTHING . On good days a bit of NOTHINGNESS . And "I" love it, and IT loves me. . And I am fully open on the understanding and exploring of path b). Fully. Let's see what kind of alien stuff the brave and ingenious psychonauts drag home. I really look forward and am very curious. Selling Water by the River PS: Please don't beat me with the Broomstick . But I would be really curious on a substantial feedback from Leo. Thanks!

Hi Lilia, maybe you like these two quotes. They highlight how a large majority of the spiritual marketplace is still selling Nonduality, not the realization of Ultimate Reality/Absolute. Some even only sell No Ego/No Person, which comes before Nonduality/mere groundless nondual Appearance.... And some even call the "No Ego/No Person" No-Self. . Well, caveat emptor.... ( : Nisargadatta, in Consciousness and the Absolute: The Final Talks of Sri NisargadattaMaharaj edited by Jean Dunn "The world is your direct experience, your own observation. All that is happening is happening at this level, but I am not at this level. I have dissociated myself from Sattva Guna, beingness. The Ultimate state in spirituality is that state where no needs are felt at any time, where nothing is useful for anything. That state is called Nirvana, Nirguna, that which is the Eternal and Ultimate Truth. The essence and sum total of this whole talk is called Satguru Parabrahman, that state in which there are no requirements. After the dissolution of the universe, when no further vestige of creation was apparent, what remained is my perfect state. All through the creation and dissolution of the universe, I remain ever untouched. I have not expounded this part: my state never felt the creation and dissolution of the universe. I am the principle which survives all the creations, all the dissolutions. This is my state, and yours, too, but you don't realize it because you are embracing your beingness. " That quote of Nisargadatta is given in Halaw, God is Nothingness Halaw writes: "A major shortcoming with much of the nonduality pervading the modern spiritual marketplace is that it seldom acknowledges the Nothingness which permits ‘being’ in the first place. Awareness, Being, Presence—or some variation or combination of the three—and interconnectedness, seem to represent the extent of what modern nonduality is interested in. Nothingness, however, transcends even nonduality; for while the nondual whole encompasses everything—all of ‘being’, in fact—it does not include Non-being, which precedes and acts as the very basis of ‘being’ itself. Imagine: if nonduality, the interconnected matrix of all ‘being’, including mind or consciousness, were represented by an oil painting, then Nothingness is the canvas upon which the picture resides. Nothingness pervades the entire nondual universe; it is the principle that permeates everything. In other words, Nothingness allows nonduality to occur in the first place, just as it does ‘being.’ The reason that the human body, mind, consciousness/awareness, interpenetrate is because Nothingness allows them to exist—or rather, they exist as manifest Nothingness. This must be realized. Experiencing nonduality is not yet Enlightenment. We must penetrate deeper, past all sense of ‘being’, to the canvas below the paint to realize our and all beings’ true nature as boundless Nothingness. When that happens, ordinary mind becomes the Mind of the sages. Buddha Mind, then, is the mind’s recognition of its own empty, groundlessness, not as some eternal supreme principle called Awareness, but as the very living, conscious embodiment of Nothingness in this world, at this very moment. It is not an exaggeration to say that consciousness is the act of Nothingness being aware. To know ultimate Nothingness, jettison everything. That means the world, your body, mind, ideas, beliefs, saviors, prophets, Buddhas, and even consciousness itself. Everything in the manifest realm must go." But don't throw the raft away in the river before you crossed it.... A not so smart move, quite often seen and read. Maya has got some funny tricks up her sleeve... ( : Selling Water by the River PS: If all of this sounds bleak and like nothing-at-all: That Nothingness can create a new Creation "instantly". As it does every moment. It is not a no-thing-at-all (but Nothingness), but unlimited infinite Potential also. And the source of all sentience/awareness, initially unware of itself when no appearance is arising. IT "is" already everything, nondual. "IT" already makes every appearance groundless/mere appearance, the essence of every appearance is already Nothingness. Suchness. You, with a big Y. The Buddha-Nature at the core of every sentient being. At the same, it is the Absolute Abyss that can NEVER be seen as any object/arising, even by the highest Divinity. "The eye can't see itself"-style. Or God remains an eternal mystery to itself. Not on the arising/appearance side, and their mechanism. But with the Nothingness-aspect, the core of awareness/sentience, that can never be seen. And after dabbling with writing about the neither existing nor non-existing Absolute/Totality/Reality, let's conclude with somthing much more precise after all these impossible endevours. ( : Basho's Haiku: Into the ancient pond / a frog jumps / waters sound

So it all starts with my hobby being psychology for like 6 years, i started playing in virtual reality where you're using an avatar in the game using full body vr technology to interact with users in different (gaming) reality. I started doing alot of tests and discovered myself 100% how female psychology/biology works unconsciously. Consider this like Michael Newtons past life regression technique that the discovered. (We humans can discover alot of things by doing things on our own, these things that we discovered will be unknown to people) Basically reaching a higher level of consciousness in certain real life subject. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ For many years i was always thinking about our life purpose or what the purpose of life is, i discovered that the only real purpose of life on this planet is to reproduce. I discovered that low conscious female human brain subconsciously is mostly looking for good genetics, so she mostly will go for males that will show her good genetics in behaviour. The behaviour in male will mostly be based on survival, the main aspect of this is : If i reproduce with him, will my genes survive for thousands of years? This is just a very very small part of female subconscious. I was always thinking that the purpose of life is to reproduce because there is nothing else important to do here on earth, i was thinking about our ancestors. They have been reproducing for thousands of years just to get me here into this future, so i must not dissapoint them and reproduce myself???? Being a man with 10 children is more important then to be a billionare with 1 child??? Oh boy, i was wrong. ( You will know later) ___________________________________________________________________________________________ With my knowledge about female psychology/biology and knowing the purpose of life i applied to a sperm donor clinic, sending them consciously a very narcissistic e-mail. In the e-mail i bragged how much i earned, how good looking i was, that i fighted many times and had 0 losses, told them i achieve everything easily without doing much. After this, they called me for a donation appointment to see how good my sperm was and if they needed it. It was good enough and i could progress further, After sending my donor pasport i got called by a gynaecologist, he said due to corona he couldnt speak to me and sent me straight away to clinical psychologist. He would say things on the phone like : And you are good at fighting? I realized that he was being very judgemental and because of this e-mail he didnt want to talk to me and sent me straight to clinical psychologist but i also realized that it was a test he specifically said: And you are good at fighting? But ignored the sentence next to it where i said: I can achieve everything i want easily. His last sentence on the phone was: If you can pass clinical psychologist you can become a sperm donor. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ I was hoping that the clinical psychologist would be a female, this would be an ultimate test of the knowledge i have. She called me on the phone and started talking to me in a condescending voice like i was a little beby boy. During this phone call i was aware that she was talking to me like this because i sent a narcisstic email to the clinic and that this was a test. But i didnt know which test it was because it can be a test for many things that i was aware of. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ So after a month or so i went to the appointment with the clinical psychologist. She called my name and i walking behind her, first thing my intuition told me is that she had this narcissistic energy about her. When i walked into the room she asked me : Are you gay? I said: No is this genetic? She said: Some are born gay and some become gay. She said: Can you take off your mask we're sitting 2 meters from each other so there is no danger from Corona. I realized she said this so she can watch my mouth and see things more clearly in behaviour. I said: It doesnt matter to me and throwed the mask on the table. She was looking at the mask with a wtf look because i throwed it. After i throwed it she says: So how did you come to the idea becoming sperm donor? In a very condescending voice like i was a little beby boy. I was 26 at that time and she was 51. The only option i had from all the options on female psychology/biology is to stand up for myself and pass the assertiveness test, i started telling the story in a very heavy manly pitch with non squinting eyes to the point that she had to look down like she submits. I instantly stopped , she lifts her head up high and looks down on me (Then suddenly a random picture in my thoughts got sent to me out of nowhere the picture showed me a person in virtual reality that had exact her personality, it showed me by this what actions i should undertake to pass this interview against this person) and then left its back to the normal position and asks: What are your educations? (I said: Nurse . I said this to show her empathy and to let her know that i was probably an empath and also because this was my first education but i quit it during first year.) She looked surprised and shocked from my answer. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ So basically she was asking me all sorts of questions and doing tests, i was aware of every test and question and why she was asking them. I could pass everything easily, during this interview i felt that her consciousness wasnt on a very high level but that it was high and that i didnt meet anyone like her before. Because i was aware of everything she was doing to me and what purpose these tests/questions had. So i decided to take it a step further and apply my knowledge on her and see the results. I was answering all her questions and tests specifically that will make me look good to her subconscious. I noticed that during this interview it felt like i was being lead by higher power or maybe i was in a state of superconsciousness, the higher power was aware that i had this knowledge so it told me exactly what to do. ( it was also sending me pictures randomly to what to do) For example: It showed me a picture of the most beautifull girl that i have ever seen in real life, she was smiling at me without breaking eye contact and saying anything. What i got from this picture was: I have to smile to her without breaking contact until she smiles back. Then i looked into her aroused red lips when she smiled back like i really wanted her really badly making her feel good etc. So to make it short: I was in a state of superconsciouss and was definitally getting helped by something during this interview. At the end of the conversation i was doing short giggles to show her that there is more to this life because i could sense that i passed this easily and i could also see that she was hypnotised. When she said her finale sentence because the time was up, i stand up very fast consciously. (I did this because i knew if i would stand really fast she would experience a breaking connection miracle where she would feel that we disconnect/ her soul is coming back) I don't know how to describe this. So i stand up really fast specifically for this purpose and walk towards the door, my thoughts randomly tell me : She will experience this too look back. I look back and i see that she is staring into nothingness like she was hypnotised the suddenly she lets out a moan of pleasure (because her soul came back/disconnection was felt. She walks towards me and stands really close to me, when she walked into my space for the first time in my life i could feel an energetic field around a human body. It was like 8 inches from her body , it felt like very strong loving heat energy . It felt so strong to me that i felt like i was being burned by love and warmth, i got overwhelmed and was in total bliss. I was also seeing the world in Full HD felt like this was the worlds full color spectrum that looked like Golden Light all the dull colors were much lighter ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 3-4 weeks later i got called and they told me i was accepted as a Sperm Donor. Months after this incident i started awakening and many more miracles happend: Like going out of body 4 times, or seeing the future during conscious dream. In the dream for example they showed me a map of Ukraine and Russia on this map the east side of Ukraine was red they showed me that Russia is going through Ukranian border thats why it is red colored. After this i wake up and my thoughts told me that it was going to happen. I went to work and 6 hours later and i see breaking news Russia is invading Ukraine. So because i reached a new state of consciousness, i realized what the real purpose of life is ; The real purpose of life is: It doesnt matter just be yourself and develop your consciousness. We are here just for fun learning things and playing the game and developing our consciousness since we are god ourselves being split into different ego's/souls. So we are basically mini gods you can call god our Father. Abilities that i gained: -Going out of body if i really put my intent into it. ( it doesnt really matter anymore, i had this experience and know how it feels like there is no purpose of this) -Seeing future events , i only had this one time after awakening and it also doesnt really matter. By showing me this future event the lesson was: There is more to this life/develop your consciousness - Seeing/feeling how developed someones consciousness is in real life is a major one and how to respond to them to fit their level of consciousness. -Materializing holographic picture in total white color: to clarify - If i look at the picture of the clinical psychologist and after that i look at the wall of my room it materializes on the wall the same as she is on the picture and then it starts floating on the wall to the sides. Lesson for me from this: There is more to this life/develop your consciousness In 2 months i also have my first ayahuasca/psychedelic trip i wonder how all this will apply to what i will see! ___________________________________________________________________________________________ if you took your time to read through all of this, thank you and know that there is more to this life!

Existence is only serious for the separate self illusion. Which is, as the name says, an illusion. It is not real. Just appearing, for a limited time. But for the separate self, it is very very serious, deadly serious, and very brutal. At least from time to time. And 100% deadly for it in the end. Since the separate self is NOT permanent. Only Absolute Reality is permanent, or timeless. Always here. That is why a good indicator for real/true/no illusion/not imagined/not arising You/Absolute Reality/God/Absolute is: Is it always right here, can not not be there? What Hawal calls Nothingness, so that no concept gets put onto the Absolute Reality. But "a" Nothingness with the potential for sentience, and the potential to imagine anything. Even a separate self that still thinks it is the Absolute/God. >God doesn't "enjoy" pain. You are God.. Do you enjoy it? Definitely not. Absolute Reality neither enjoys it, nor does not enjoy it. It manifests/imagines it, and is aware of its own arisings within it. All reactions towards suffering are only arisings in the Infinite Reality. Enjoying itself is already an arising WITHIN the Absolute Reality. How about replacing the word God more often with Infinite Reality or Absolute? That is a bit safer, in order to not elevate separate self identities to God-Level? They arise in God/Reality, but the separate self for sure is not God or Absolute Reality. It is an imagination of God/Reality, arising in it. Personally, I don't tend to use the word God for Absolute Reality often, because it is so easy to elevate something to God level that is not IT. But I can use it with full conviction for the Absolute, but only if I am sure no subtle separate self arisings/concepts get mixed up with it. And that is tricky, tricky business.... To put it more precisly with more humor: "Ignorance is a bad idea only from the vantage-point of ignorance.", Francis Lucille And if you still suffer (not bodily, but psychological suffering), and the suffering is not just an arising in You, moving trough You, just a small part of You, not really gripping/bothering You, then you are not in stable resting in your True Nature. And that is why "Ignorance is a bad idea only from the vantage-point of ignorance." ( : Selling Water by the River PS: And for the purpose: It is not fun eating alone... Or playing chess against yourself while not forgetting one player. ( :

You (capital Y) are the whole Infinite Reality (imagined body, imagined appearances, imagined everything n+1). With nothing outside of it, because that would be an imagined arising too. Any boundary separiting IT from an imagined other IT would be an imagined arising, an appearing phenomenon. Infinite. Try to imagine everything gone, including thinking: NOTHINGNESS. Not big, not small, just NOTHINGNESS. A vast infinite Nothingness, that is not even vast, because there is no 3D-space or anything (no objects/arisings). Similiar to Deep Sleep. YOU are still there. YOU awake every morning after having been there. You already know that you can be totally something/somebody else in dreams, and have totally forgotten all the past you imagine right now to be your "real" human self. But IT is not Nothingness like nothing there at all, but Nothingness with the POTENTIAL for sentience as soon as anything is imagined, and with Infinite Potential to imagine ANYTHING within it, n+1. Imagine a water pistol pops up in this Nothingness (see example Massaro, Conversations with a Skepctic): Then you have a) an imagined appearance (water pistol) and b) "something" perceiving it, the subject. Or just the perceptions of the water pistal in case no separates self is imagined/arises. Just the waterpistol perceiving itself, perceptions perceiving themselves. Impersonal. Then you have a "world", and subject/object. So what are you then? a) The Infinite Field with anything that can possibly be imagined? Yes. Nondual/Totality/Oneness. The manifest/imagined side of Infinite Consciousness. Always changing, never stable, since no appearance/form lasts. NONE. But there is a constant: b) But even more so, you are that Nothingness that can be unaware of itself, Infinite Consciousness initially unaware of itself, but with the potential for sentience if something arises. The unmanifest side of Infinite Consciousness. The unchanging, Unborn and constant core of the True You/Reality itself. So empty that IT is the Abyss, Impersonal. NOTHINGNESS. But also Infinite Potential, since IT can imagine anything. and "Both"a) and b) is indivisible, nondual. Totally the same essence, ONE Reality. The Nothingness or the True You is already the essence/"substance" of every imagined arisings/phenomenon, including the water pistol, or all separate self arisings (they are all appearances within you). a nice book about that is Szyper, "Infinite Consciousness" And that is why with the Big Awakening/Big Enlightenment, you realize yourself to already be (and ever have been, ever will be) both totally Nothingness (no separate self arisings not transcended or spotted fast enough) and everything manifested/appearing. Its all One Infinite Reality, imagined in Infinite Consciousness/Mind, hovering empty appearances, hovering in You/Reality, perceptions perceiving themselves. What falls away (or are understood) are just the ignorant separate self arisings, that make you feel and think you are not the Infinite Totality, but this small body "moving" in it. You become Nothing(-ness), but also Everything. No longer a separate body-mind in a larger "universe", but all of that happening in You. To fully get it, you need many small awakenings/Kenshos/Enligthenments (becoming gradually the empty infinite mere imagined appearances/nondual field), and a big awakening (Great Enlightenment, Basis Enlightenment, Great Satori) after you have become the whole infinite empty field, when you wonder who/what PERCEIVES that field. The One Hand clapping. That is when the last subtle layers of the separate self are suddenly seen through. Sudden Awakening. Its gradual until then, and sudden and unmistakenly with the last shift. Up to that shift, there are stages and higher awakenings. But the bug stops here. That is also why you never know with the smaller Awakenings (1) what the end of the ladder is.... and (2) you still suffer. And of course you can go exploring afterwards, but you already understand what You are and what Reality is when doing that. And how you fooled yourself before, with many different layers (imagined separate self, imagined past, imagined future, imagined anything n+1). The Real You is quite smart to fool itself in such a way.... ( : Tricky thing with the last shift is: This last shift needs a fully empty or transended separate self, including very subtle layers of feeling/thinking... And that needs.... a lot of time in these nondual and empty states to get rid of any untranscended separate self arising. And these last separate self elements can be very tricky & subtle, needing familiarity with them to spot them, and a very fast speed of spotting and transcending/cutting them off in real time. And: You can't force it here with the usual meditation techniques (that came before this stage) of directing attention. Because who/what is doing the meditation? The separate self.... It has to be automized, so that the meditation does itself. No artificial activity of a separate self. Non-Meditation Yoga in the Mahamudra-System. Or alternatively, but not so efficient: "Bang your head against the wall" for several years with a Koan. That also works, but more brute-force-style and doesn't feel so nice... Or you win the genetic lottery, jump all of that, find yourself to be the Great Unborn... and have no clue how to get there since you jumped the journey. Ramana-style. The author of these lines wasn't lucky enough to win this lottery. But hey, the point of the ride is ride. Bon voyage! ( : "We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all." Kalu Rinpoche Selling Water by the River

This doesn't seem like a good distinction. In a state of nothingness/cessation/turiya/pure consciousness, you are infinite and whole simultaneously. Infinity can maintain the exact same qualia and not change at all, yet still be infinite. Infinity is total, until an ego comes along and tries to separate it, as you are doing.

Hi Lilia, yes, there can be pain, but no psychological suffering stacked on top, and the pain itself much more removed with less focus, flowing through oneself like a distant wave. What I wanted to say in my post (suffering and mainting Realization sobre/without psychedelics) was that without full stable Realization of ones True Nature and being able to keep that stable in everyday life (Postsamadhi), the cycle of suffering of the separate self continues. Without Realization of ones True Nature, one can have wonderful trips of Awakening with psychedelics, or just normal blissful experiences. But it never lasts. The merry-go-round of being content/satisfied and then no longer content/satisfied (suffering in the Buddhist sense of Dukha means not literally suffering, but something mroe like unsatisfactoryness (everything being unsatisfactory in the end, which then also causes suffering) continues. It is (in my observation) a necessary building block of any Lila, because without it the separate self arising would at some point no longer find "projects", and just "fizzles" out at some point. And: When I became able to rest in my True Nature (cutting off and/or just watching the separate-self arisings (thoughts/feelings) "Trekchö-style" emerging also at high frequencies, the visual field became limitless/infinite/nondual/mere appearance/imagined style/empty/groundless), and most of the separate self arisings were seen flowing through the Reality that the Real I is, I got a flow of bliss/love flowing from and through that Source/Reality that was independend from outer circumstances. In the beginning I thought it was too good to be true, like am I fooling myself here. But it never stopped, and increased further, including the so called three special states of bliss, emptiness (groundlessness) and luminosity (shimmering mere appearance), which then also progressed further. At that time, the meditation was off-the-pillow (Postsamadhi-Meditation) since quite some time, so I got that in everyday life and not only while sitting. And from that basis of a fully nondual infinite field of empty groundless mere appearances with no center/separate anything, one can start wondering WHAT kind of empty nonlocal Awareness really watches that infinite empty field of mere appearance, and in What that really appears. And then the Big Bang can suddenly happen. But that comes normally a considerable time after the stabilization of the Nondual Field described above. Tashi Namgyal, quoted in Pointing out the Great Way, Brown: "In short, crossing over [to Enlightenment] happens at the time when every single sensory experience—appearance [visual field] and thought [any separates self or thought arising in general]—are viewed as clarity/emptiness [mere empty groundless imagined appearance] and movement/emptiness [thought/separate self arisings moving in You/Reality] with absolute certainty [meaning it is no a decission of any kind, but a self-evident observation and an understanding of Absolute certainty, an Understanding of Ultimate Reality (infinite consciousness) understanding Itself]." Or in other words: When you get it that anything there can ever be is just a imagined show happening in the True You, and the True You is so totally empty/Nothingness that it is when no appearance appears unware of itself, but with the potential for sentience if something is imagined. Or: Totally empty, Nothingness, so that IT can manifest anything and is not limited in any way, which it would be if IT/You were anything specific at all. This is a point where many teachings become imprecise, or just end there (at a not so empty Nonduality), because the author didn't progress over that Nonduality-Stage with a still lingering pretty empty awareness/witness. Whenever you here "I am this Nonduality", a questionmark is indicated. For that, see also this video (Prior to Nonduality): Concerning what you describe about pain: Yes. If there is Physical pain, it is still there, but no psychological restisting/suffering arises because of it (which is like 80% of the perceived suffering). On top, as you describe, the physical pain flows through the Reality that you are, like the wind. Much more remote, like there is pain moving in me, but I am not that pain. It doesn't "grip" anymore. Bon voyage Water by the River

I'll start: What is GOD? What am I? What is Reality? What is Truth? What is Consciousness? What is Love? What is Infinity? What is Absolute? What is Life? What is ego? What is survival? What is blue? What is beingness or isness? What is existence? What is duality? What is oneness? What is a question? What is an answer? What is a paradox? What is creativity? What is intelligence? What is nothingness? What is everything? What is the All? What is irreducible? How to live the good life? How to be happy? What is the funniest joke in existence? What is silence? What is the purpouse/meaning of Reality? What is it all about?

@Jo-Niet as you said - if you are ready, the videos can be so powerful that they are the final nail in the coffin. Congrats. But there are more facets to awakening then Aloneness or Oneness. There is the realization of No Self, of Infinity, of Nothingness, to name a few. More to go.

All Spiritual Teachings are relative, as thus they are bound by logic, and thus they are merely pointers. For example people can get stuck on the nothingness, and the meaninglessness as a result and presume that means there is no meaning. This is not the case, it is BOTH meaningless and meaningful. You see to construct anything, create anything, meaning MUST exist, that is literally what it means to create to construct! Meaning IS creation. Now the purpose of deconstructing or destruction is to remove the meaning. So the teachings reveal to you the lack of meaning to reveal the impermanence of reality. Life is meaning, Death is the absence of meaning. Once you realize that meaning and lack of meaning are ONE then you realize you are eternal. DO NOT GET STUCK on either facet, you must embrace both or you will get stuck. Many people get stuck out of fear, not realizing that awakenings never end, it's infinite!! You have no clue how much more aware you can become unless you actually pursue it!! Remember it's all relative!!

Hi , my native language is not English so I apologize before getting started on what I experienced.... I've tripped 100+ trips or more by now most of them were under 4g But I decided to try a huge dose like 15g potent albino a+ mushrooms lemon Tekked ... The thing I saw and experienced was very much hellish like ...lemme explain what it was , at first I felt I was hit by a train or being shot into space by a catapult or smt ... Anyways the trip started with a heavy body load the I that I thought I am started to become multiple people, I heard some voice insulting me ... Than I saw myself in a cosmic sex reaching orgasms which will never end ..things became more and more aggressive , people in the orgy started to hurt one another ripping the others body eating them , I heard a dog bark outside , some man ate the dog , bite it's head off , I heard people getting tortured , beheaded , burnt to death , crucified etc ... , I felt that time stretched , it was infinity hell infinity , I had sex with my mother wtf I fucked my both sisters , tortured my family, I was in my dad's body , after I was done with them I killed them eating their flash and organs ... I smelt shit and blood everywhere like I was an out of control animal , I yelled , laughed like a Maniac. It was pure evil laugher... I felt it ! I didn't resist the urges and it became my downfall , after gaining some sense back realizing wtf I've done, I have seen the severed body parts of my family , I tasted human flesh in my teeth, but I wasn't a human anymore and mostly didn't care but when I remembered , I felt extreme guilt , the world was destroyed because of what I've done , I had insanity loops ... Trapped for eternity , I had no memory of taking any drug ... Being dark and evil was delicious... At the end of the trip I yelled screamed about what I've done I yelled god please stop it , this is hell this is what I done to myself ... After like it seemed an eternity of hellish loops ... I felt a warm loving forgiving energy , and I pissed myself twice , my body was dead meat , not being able to move one muscle , I watched my family members became alive again , forgetting anything that happened to them , I saw my father as the devil's tool and after killing my I became my dad .. before that I became every human every idea no matter how dark it was ..., what a twisted fucked up thing ... I cannot describe WTF was that I had no morality whatsoever , the sad part was that I'd done all of those awful things to my family I believed that I gone insane ruined my life for good , and there's no coming back I deserve hell ... I had the same experience another year on another high dose 6 g ... One thing added I heard a voice saying you humans don't learn even after being punished by your own actions . Btw lemme add this , I saw something like Fibonacci spiral thingy which memories and other light stuff was shining through it , my whole life flashed before my eyes... I felt great hunger , being alone in nothingness sad and broken for eternity.... I cried , yelled .. none stop the whole trip I wonder if Leo or others who took high doses of psychedelics experienced this or am I the only one ? Dear Leo please respond to this I don't know what's going on , what's this , I'm confused, you surely gone into insane mind loops before... please if you can explain what to do when I face these situations in my ego death experiences @Leo Gura

Nothing but nothingness

Hello all My first post here. Been listening to Leo for a couple of years and been on this confusing but awesome journey of clawing myself out of the materialist paradigm. I have done lsd and 5 meo a handful of times and I’ve had the world melt away and been thrown into the void so it’s obvious to me that the computer I’m typing on isn’t some kind of external object with independent existence that I’m perceiving through the eyes, but that this is a dream. What’s still bugging me though is this whole POV thing. From what I’ve read others talking about on this forum I don’t seem to be alone with being confused about it. I’ve read quite a bit of people’s comments and I have picked up what kind of jargong you guys have here so first I feel like I should mention some things before I get to the actual question and example. First of all, I’m not claiming to be awake or anything. I don’t really care who’s what. I used to think I understood everything and would even look at myself as ”special” and even ”above” others, but then some brutal ego backlashes humbled me. All I care about now is understanding this for myself. Not look like I got it all figured out, but actually figure it out. Just telling me I’m playing mind games or whatever and then not explaining in what ways or why you think so doesn’t help me figuring anything out. If you’re in a position to say that you’re supposedly not in that trap yourself and should be able to give me some guidance, or maybe you just want to give the impression publicly that you have come so much further. If that’s your intention, please don’t bother to comment. Just telling me I don’t understand and then not helping me is also useless. It’s like the teacher telling the kid just starting out math class he doesn’t understand any math. Yeah, like why do you think he’s there? Also, please don’t spew some nonduality one-liner on me, I’m looking for serious feedback and not interested in hearing the same old lines every newbie loves to write under all the Rupert Spira videos. I’m also not interested in hearing about your definitions of what enlightenment is unless you’re able to talk to me about it in the context of what I’m writing below. With a lot of spiritual folks I more often than not get the feeling that I can’t even have an actual conversation without them starting to tell me about their definitions of enlightenment, or maybe just get a ”there is no you” thrown in the face without even engaging my question. If you’re not engaging what I’m actually writing and just repeating some platitude I won’t take you seriously. A lot of spirituality folks I’ve talked to always dismisses my desire to understand and tell me I should just drop it because it can’t be understood and that I should ”just be” or something similar, but I’m not content with that. Maybe it’s just you who have a weak mind so it’s easier for you to say ”it can’t be understood” because you don’t understand yourself and then confuse your own limits for what’s possible. I’ve even been told ”you’re very philosophical” in a derogatory sense, as if that’s a negative when doing this kind of work. Jeez. With that out of the way I hope I can be taken seriously here. So I have been doing a lot of different thought experiments during and after my trips and I’ve found the video game analogy to be a great visualization to create clear distinctions to understand better so I would really appreciate to get some feedback to course correct me if I’m deceiving myself. For you who play video games this might make sense. Let’s say I play some 1st person game but split screen. So I split it into two 1st persons perspective and then in each of the two perspectives we have a body from the 3rd person perspective. With this example it’s easy to see that the two bodies from 3rd person perspective don’t exist in the same world, an external world, but that they only exist as an appearance within each of the 1st person perspectives. If one of the game characters would observe his hand we wouldn’t actually have just one hand but two. The hand from the 1st person perspective isn’t even the same hand as the one that’s in front of the face of the body from the 3rd person perspective that’s part of the other 1st person perspective. There are no internal worlds because the 1st person perspectives that we usually think of as internal are not that because it’s the other way around where the bodies that we previously located the 1st person perspectives in instead themselves are in those 1st person perspectives. The 1st person perspectives can’t be located in anything appearing because that would basically be claiming that one 1st person perspective is located in another and that would be the typical grounding that materialists do where they locate objects inside of objects to create ”experience” as something owned by a body. If we would turn both of the 1st person perspectives around, both of the bodies from the 3rd person perspective would now have disappeared but none of the 1st person perspectives would have disappeared as they were never located in those bodies. So when I’m interacting with another body I understand that there is no 1st person perspective located in that body or owned by it, there is no difference between that body or a rock or whatever, both are appearances within this 1st person perspective, but I still think of it as if there is another 1st person perspective where what I usually call myself in daily normal self-referencing, my body from the 3rd person perspective, is an appearance. Alright, so here’s my confusion about solipsism. In this analogy there are not two subjects, the bodies are not what’s experiencing or owning any of the perspectives, nothing is being perceived through the eyes or being calculated or created by any brain. Neither is existing in an external world and neither is having any inner experiences. It’s all direct appearance without inside or outside. The whole story of sense organs and biology and external independent world and so forth are something that’s being imagined and then projected as an overlay on the one-layered appearance to create a sense of a separate reality with multiple subjects. There would not be two separate positions either. If we go further than the screen analogy and imagine we would remove the dividing line between the two 1st person perspectives and merge them so that they are superimposed on each other and then do that with every possible perspective, then all perspectives are located at the same point that itself has no location. A pointless point lol..where everything emerges out of, which is what I think people mean when they talk about the Godhead. Basically that nothingness that sits where I previously imagined and believed my head was. So there is no one looking out of any head, only the Godhead that’s not located anywhere that is looking. My body from the 3rd person perspective, that’s only an appearance within the other 1st person perspective and with no existence outside of it, is also something I’m looking at as the Godhead. I could see how someone might call this solipsism but my understanding of what’s usually meant by that word would in this screen analogy be equal to if we simply removed one of the two 1st person perspectives on the screen and now only displayed one and that’s it. That’s all of it. Which means that when I’m communicating with another body there is no other perspective with an appearance of me as a body from the 3rd perspective talking. Sounds like a pretty small infinity to me if all there is would be only this one perspective being imagined by the Godhead. Also, when someone says ”there is only you” or ”you’re only talking to yourself” it can mean drastically different things depending of what ”you” and ”yourself” is referring to. If you said that to a materialist who believes he is a body that’s walking around in an independent external world and using his brain to construct an internal image of that world, that would make no sense to him. Some of these things can be very confusing depending on where you’re coming at it from. I don’t see how one subject has to mean only one perspective. I mean, in the materialist model we have many subjects but one world. So if you’re coming from that paradigm with thinking it’s only one world and then you hear something like ”there is only one subject”, i.e. you, and you erase all the other subjects you previously imagined to exist under the materialist paradigm, but then still hold the idea of only one world subconsciously, I can see that it’s easy to then draw the conclusion that the forms that are present for you now is all there is. But if you drop the ”one world” idea then one subject doesn’t have to mean one appearance. Am I on the right track with this line of thinking? Anyhow, I’ve been wrecking my mind incessantly over this the last few month and people are saying different things regarding this and I guess this will be no different but would appreciate some feedback about all this from someone with some real experience and hope we can talk about it within the framework of the analogy. If I’m fooling myself I wanna know. That doesn’t mean I will buy anything you say though. Thanks!

In meditation, should one focus on a pleasant feeling that arises such as joy (1st Jhana), our ‘inner body’, or the breath? ? I was just reading about the 8 jhanas and am amazed (why isn’t this discussed more in this forum or by Leo or the ascended masters?). Even the first jhana seems ‘heavenly’ to me. It says to focus on and stay on a pleasant feeling that arises such as joy or a smile. When I did it today in my meditation it didn’t feel natural so I went to the emptiness feeling I was feeling behind and stayed there. Although let me tell you one of my practices right now is cultivating more joy in my lyfe so I would love for this to work. Or should we focus on the breath, or is the breath just a tool to calm the body and mind enough to be able to feel into the body and feel the inner body (emptiness) inside (<is this the goal of everything, to feel what we are as often as possible, the vast emptiness, to become identified w/this our true self instead of being identified w/ the thinking mind/illusury self>?), as eckhart Tolle says? Sometimes when I go about it like this I feel my meditation is more dynamic, in that instead of a just pure concentration practice of the breath, I start w/ breath then can feel into inner body, so it’s a bit dynamic. And p.s I usually don’t feel called to stay on the feeling of emptiness for to long where I can usually go for a longer period of time if I was focusing on the breath. Been feeling a lot of space lately, so not so called to be meditating as much lately just btw. Again please let me know if focusing on pleasant sensation during meditation is good because I would love to cultivate more of these feelings into my daily life or better to focus on emptiness or breath. P.s3. doesn’t focussing on the emptiness ‘theoretically’ ‘jump’ ‘us’ to the 7th jhana of ‘nothingness’? Thanks! ?

Emptiness and the 7th Jhana type nothingness are typically pointing to different things in Buddhism. Emptiness is that that things lack inherent existence. This ties in quite strongly with dependent origination as well. Nothingness is closer to tuning into more fine and subtle sensations or rather tuning all sensations to reveal more subtle aspects of experience than what is found in boundless space and boundless consciousness (5th & 6th jhana). Meditating on the breath and jhana are part of the same meditation process that the Buddha taught. I’ve even heard from a monk of some decades that this is the only meditation the Buddha is recorded to have taught in its fullness. It begins with the breath, then moves to gladdening the mind and other steps which align with jhana, then moves into investigation of characteristics found on the insight axis of mediation such as impermanence. Although not explicitly stated in the 16 steps, knowledge of the emptiness of phenomena will naturally come from Ānāpānasati (fancy old Pāli word for mindfulness of breathing) done thoroughly enough. One of the beautiful things about the Buddhist system of meditation and interpreting awakening is that the whole system and its parts are nicely interwoven with essentially all of the other parts. There is not one right technique or best technique. The technique which you use, find great results from, and enjoy is the “proper” technique. Some do suggest that sticking with one technique is important while others support the method of hitting this process from tons of different angles. Different strokes for different folks I suppose. All the way from the 16 steps of Ānāpānasati, to the 5 strengths, the precepts, the noble eightfold path, the four noble truths, etc. support each other in an elegant way. And more recent forms of Buddhism illuminate plenty of other relevant aspects of the path connecting back to the original teachings in their own ways. Buddhism has the express goal of finding for oneself the path to end suffering. Jhana and increasing sukha (happiness/satisfaction) are incredibly integral parts of this. The author and great teacher Rob Burbea suggested that one should have at least as much jhana/samadhi meditation as insight meditation if not a ratio even further geared toward jhana. True 1st jhana is absolutely nothing to scoff at. It is heavenly and psychedelic-tier bliss done with your own mind. Having that skill is immensely valuable. Anyway, I kind of got on a rant there lol. Hope this helps.

Yesterday , from my second inquiry ( first serious investigation ) through the Neti Neti meditation I just got that intense frustration of running out of resources about who I am , and along with leo's affirmation that i am " this " came to me the HOLY SHIT sensation followed by the aware nothingness for around 30 secondes to 1 minute , followed by a sense of peace and calmness . That flow was too powerful and intense that after the realization I felt my eyelashes unceasingly blinking fast , it's just like my eyes wanted to open and yet I was resisting . After that i sticked with Leo's post visualisation explanation with honesty . I am planning on doing the work and inquiry tonight again even more seriously .. but looking for recommandations and guidance . Thank you Leo , Thank you ' community '

AWAKE does not require alien consciousness. AWAKE requires that you become conscious of how you imagine the entire world into existence around yourself. It's very direct, very pure, very profound God-Realization. You need to get to the very root of what GOD is. Not as Emptiness or Nothingness, but as yourself imagining everything around you -- including your body, your memories, the Earth, and other people. And including all spiritual teachings and enlightenment. You have to realize that enlightenment, nonduality, Buddhism, meditation, sleep, birth, and death are all imaginary.

Good questions. I had the exactly same problems/questions concerning Solipsism and Absolute Consciousness. The following are answers that can calm your mindstream to make you available for the Awakening, and they can speeden up the realization developed out of certain Awakenings/Koans. They are not "logical answers" that suffice on a logical/reasoning level alone, but can speeden the process of Awakening to these Koans that you state with your questions. > How can my consciousness be absolute when its not on a constant level Because you are the Nothingness/Consciousness that can unaware of itself when no experience or any arising-appearance is there. BUT with the potential for sentience. Which is the difference to IT just being nothing at all. This difference makes IT/You the opposite of nothing: Infinite Potential. If you need to have constant level of consciousness, you would have a problem: Deep Sleep. Where are you there? Have you stopped existing? Rather not.... The Real You can never not be there. The face before your parents were born.... literally. Also, that (potentially) Aware Infinite Reality that You are can be ignorant, or awake. It can have arisings (appearing/moving/being imagined) through it) of a spearate self in it, of an animal, or something like a world/Lila-reality creating angel in the Link below. And these arisings are empty, which means nothing else as not existing independend of You, outside of You, but imagined/manifested/moving within You/Reality. Not self-EX-isting, which means not standing out from the one Reality, but within it. Not existing without this Reality/Infinite Consciousness. It took me a looong time to really get why the Buddhist talk so much about Emptiness, and what they mean by it... And of course, to really get it, you need Awakenings. That is why most of the talk about emptiness can be .... rather empty. Did you ever dream to be something/someone completely different than your waking separate self? Did that hurt you? Or was it just a great adventure? The Real You can never gain or loose anything. How could you improve an Infinite (potentially) Sentient Reality that is infinite and absolutely formless, the One and infinite Only without a second, that can imagine/manifest anything it wants? You could say the content/show could be improved. But who wants that show? The Real You. Ignorance is only a bad idea from the perspective of ignorance (Francis Lucille). Could the Real You be hurt by the show? How? And is "anything"/any imagined arising permanent? Disclaimer: Guru Padmasambhava said, “My realization is higher than the sky. But my observance of karma is finer than grains of flour.” If a separate self thinks it can do what it wants without consequence, you will only suffer... Karma still holds. 100%. Reality is that smart....infinitely smart/intelligent. If the real You/Reality would be anything specific/an arising, or have any properties (besides being totally empty, infinite, with potential for sentience, and being able to imagine/manifest anything in itself and watching itself then, perceptions perceiving themselves with or without a separate self being imagined), wouldn't that limit You in what you could be/manifest/imagine? Any fear-arising when contemplating what You really are is just a protection meachnism of the illusion, of Lila. In truth, you are all you ever wish you could be. Eternally. For the full Realization of what You are, you have to be fully empty of any identification, all (!) separate self arising have to be seen trough, as moving in You. Not because you are nothing, but You are the Containing Reality for any being possible. Infinite. Able to create an Infinity of dimensions. Not a empty lacking emptiness/nothing, but a Full Emptiness of Infinite Potential. If any subtle self left-overs are still there and not transcended/seen through/made objects/arisings moving within you instead of subject/lenses you look through, you will project that on the Absolute Empty Reality that you are. These lenses will distort and colour your realization. How to notice that in an easy way? You still suffer.... > How can my consciousness be absolute and I omniscient when I dont know how and why I am imagining, I am not conscious about it. I dont know about me willingly imagining "Other" Perspectives/Beings: What did you do one year ago? Probably (as me), you forgot that (to be more precise: "I" can't imagine that right now). So you admit forgetting in time. The "other" perspectives/beings, you forget "in space" right now. If you fully understand the structure of your perspective, you would understand the structure of all other perspectives (please check my previous posts if you are interested). And any separation/boundary to any other "forgotten" perspective would just be an arising/appearance/boundary arising in you (so arising form, not you as Subject). So there can not be any real boundaries to the Absolute Subject/Consciousness that you are. >I dont know about me willingly imagining Reality/Dimension Creating/Sustaining Perspectives/Beings: Other perspectives of You that you forget right now do that. Volunteers of for example Stan Grofs Psychedelics Research programs, or those of RIck Strassman, report encountering these reality creating perspectives, for example: Angel is Christian-influenced. What "sits" in the center of the Buddhafields (Dimensions), managing it, in the Supreme Array Sutra? You guessed it probably: A kind of super-Buddha organizing that dimension. In Hinduism, it would be some kind of Vishnu. Infinite Dimension, infinite N+1 Dimension-Care-Takers... And an alien civilization in this Universe would call that instance/perspective maybe "'#24sfse2". So why not tend the flowers in your garden at home, and try to increase the love & wisdom in the mindstream of your invidual perspective, when you had a glimpse of this meta-structure of the Multiverse... instead of learning the "manifestation-mechanism-preferences/methods" of Vishnu Number 92742387423423.....? The "meta-structure" of manifestation, and the "Vishnus, Angel, Buddhafield-Buddha,..." running the dimensions can be generalized via something like n+1 (via https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematical_induction - style), if you are so inclined... Does that maybe resonate with you? >How can I be omnipotent and have a free will to imagine whatever I want at any moment when physical laws strictly determine Because what you think you are (separate self arisings in your perspective) is not all that which You are. Not the real You. And not all perspectives of the Real You. Physical laws are imagined by the real You and all "its" perspectives, constituting Indras Infinite Net, with a high level of consistency. Different to dreams at night, which are not so consistent. When you awaken to the real You, you will see that what You really are is exactly what Reality is and wants. The consistency of the laws of Reality of this Lila by the way make this saying very true if you want to be happy: "“My realization is higher than the sky. But my observance of karma is finer than grains of flour.” If you want to be happy, I am very sure, it is very important to take that serious. >My direct experience make it seem to be impossible that I am the entire Godhead who is omniscient and omnipotent, and that my direct experience is absolute Because what You really is not the separate self/separate self arisings in your mindstream. -> Awaken to what You really are. >There must be something "behind the scenes" like the Computers CPU which creates a Videogame. But I feel like a character in this Videogame who wonders what everything is and where it comes from without any control. An omniscient being would simultanously know how it creates experience and experiences, where I only experience. Only experience is nothing compared to an omniscient being. An omniscient being would also be conscious about the illusion, self-deception and forgetting See the link above. If you want to explore these mechanism, Psychedelics are probably the way to go. Or you can work on Awakening to what you really are. I would recommend putting an emphasize on the latter, but being interested in the former. Just for the sheer beauty of the understanding of it. >Supposing I become Awake and conscious about how I am imagining everything, why wasnt I conscious about the imagining process before Awakening if I am already omniscient right now? What did you do exactly one year and two days ago? I assume you forgot. So you can forget, or rather stop imagining that right now. In the same way, you can forget other perspectives of you. If you are that angel-perspective of the link above, apparently you can't be a human, at least not in the same moment. So enjoy that you can experience being a human! If that were not the case, You couldnt experience being human at all. You would miss that forever. Or in other words, you wouldn't exist, you (separate self) would be dead, not existing in the first place. I guess your separate self rather wouldn't want that. At least I enjoy the wonders of this planet earth, appreciating that this only possible with the limitations imagined ( : >Conclusion: My consciousness is an Aspect of God but not The God. But change my mind, I am openminded Your separate self arisings are an arising in Reality, they are an aspect of God, and NOT ONLY what you are. What you really are is much more. But for that, you need an Awakening into what You really are. Confusing the separate self with being Reality is a bad idea if you want to be happy (that confusion creates bad Karma...). Basically, to answer any of your questions, you need an Awakening. Maybe the preliminary answers given above can calm your mind/separate self-arisings in your mindstream, to rest and relax in you True Being enough, to awaken to the answers of these Koans. Bon voyage and happy exploring! ( : Water by the River

Yes. To realize what sand is, what You are, ever have been, ever will be, what Reality is, was and ever will be, and what is and will be the Reality of everything that could ever be, is Enlightenment (the final version of it, not the small ones lining up before that). At least in my lingo. Feel free to call it anything you like. And the sandcastles of the past or future don't exist, but are imagined right here and now. Take the sandcastles/appearance away and there is no time. And what kind of Sand Castles Reality/God can imagine, well that exploration and adventure is what you are seeing right now, to be continued. And since there is an Infinity of differently large Infinities (see Cantor Set Theory and Leos lovely Videos on them, especially "Understanding Absolute Infinity Part 2") , even God/Ultimate Reality will never run out of new sand castles to imagine and explore. That means "It" doesn't even have to imagine all of them (hey, lets skip that Horrorshow Sand Castle over "there", shall we?) to still have an Infinity of realties/Sand Castles yet to be explored. Would be a bit boring if you would already know all infinite Sand Castle-Adventures already. Having what you call Specific Omnicience of every Sand Castle possible/imaginable, that is not possible. God/Ultimate Reality is exploring its potential of an Infinity of Sand Castles. General Omnicience or realizing what Sand is (and what You really are), what the specific Sand Casle of ours is, and what the "substance/Reality" of every possible Sand Castle, is possible, see above. There is not only an Abyss when looking into the Abyss of the Absolute Subject, which by definition can't be an Appearance, or any form, it has to be in-FINITE, not FINITE, initially unaware if nothing is appearing (forms of Deep Sleep as anology), but with the potential for sentience of an appearance if manifesting it in IT to IT, made of IT (the Nondual-Awakening aspect). Your True Face before your parents were born. The Absolute. To really realize that, you have to be fully empty of any separate self arising that you don't see immedeately as object moving in you. Nonduality alone, or hearing the angels sing while still looking out from an empty transparent anything to "that" Infinity won't do it. But on top of that in-FINITE-ness of the Abyss of the Absolute Subject/Reality/Nothingness, there is an Infinity of Infinities of Manifestations/appearances/sand castles arising in IT possible. Ready for the adventure? Selling Water by the River PS: Nice books on these topics: Szyper, Infinite Consciousness: An In-depth Exploration of the Shift in Consciousness Constitutive of Enlightenment in relation to True Nature, the Soul, the Body-Mind, the Heart and the Me Good explanation of the stages of Enlightenment: 1. The Shift [Enlightenment] into the Manifested Essemce of Consciousness (various Awakenings) 2. The Shift [Enlightenment] into the Unmanifested Source of Consciousness/ Shift [Enlightenment] into Infinite Consciousness Gorman, What_s It Like To Be Enlightened, Book 1 & 2 (partial and full Enlightenment) Dziubin, Consciousness Is All

I agree to all that Leo has written above. Some musings from over here: Free will vs. Determinism: The Real You (Infinite Consciousness/Reality) has absolute freedom. The separate self illusion arising in you just feels like being you, but is not you, never was you, never will be you. Never could. You contain these arisings of the separte self in the real You. So it doesn't really exist, and since it doesn't exist, it has no freedom. But the Real You has absolute freedom. Nothing is or could be outside of it to limit its power. You project this freedom that you so strongly intuit on the separate self. So it is an illusion/ignorance. But the core of that feeling of freedom of choice it true, it is the Real You. But: That reasoning will not be clear before some Awakenings into what you are, and then it can help you passing and ripening that understanding, and stabilizing you in resting what You are. Then & there it is beneficial. Before that, it is just impossible to fully get it. Structure of your World-Bubble-Perspective/Visual Field: Since any form of boundary between perspectives would be an imagined arising, it is illusory, an appearance. Your current consciousness is limited, you forget all other perspectives in real time. But you add/imagine separate self arisings (feelings and thoughts), which are the illusion/ignorance. With more consciousness, you can have a Vision like Leavitt (see book cover with infinite perspectives). To get Enlightenment or Omniscience into the structure of Reality, you don't need to see all perspectives, but to fully understand the nature/structure/essence of your perspective, which you then realize has necessarily to hold for all other perspectives/beings. And for all dimensions, since there are only perspectives in Indras Net. N+1 -style. Even a Molecule is some kind of proto-perspective, the interiortity of a Holon in Ken Wilbers theory for example. Although a very rudimentary one. Here some ideas/Koans how to investigate your perspective, and which kind of [Awakenings/Enlightenments] you need: all appearances are imagined arisings in you, any boundary to any other perspective would just be imagined/arising (so not real, just appearing): What is necessary for that Awakening: A state of sufficient Nonduality , appearances appearing as just appearances (hovering in you, hologram-like/translucent). Not the normal everyday state, so either lot of meditation done correctly or Psychedelics are necessary. Psychedelics are very useful to get a preview on that, it takes a while to get there via meditation. the True You as the fully empty Nothingness which is "structurally infinite": Awakening in to the Nothingness or empty cogniziant nature of your core. "Structurally infinite", since any boundary limiting it would just be an imagined appearance, NOT really limiting it, but appearing within it. Something outside that imagined boundary can always also appear/be imagined. And since it is infinite, has no boundary (that would just be an arising in itself), it can't go anywhere, can't die: Awakening into eternity or "always necessary here-ness, can't go anywhere else-ness, can not not be there-ness". Also wasn't created (that would be another arising). It has nothing outside of itself (would be another appearance/arising) which could have created or caused it. That is a mindf*** (sorry) of the highest degree once you stumble over it. No daddy, but You get used to it. ( : It can imagine whatever it wants (omnipotent). Then we have timeless/eternal, nonlocal/"everywhere"/every possible being and reality, literally the only "One" or Reality itself, nothing can be outside of It (omnipresent), and omnipotent (since its the only Reality, no other Reality is stopping It from whatever it wants). So we have eternal, infinite, omnipotent/all powerful. And in some persepctives/beings, it even knows its structural fundamental nature: omniscient of its fundamental structure/being. And that is where sometimes the God-word (eternal, omnipresent, omnipotent, infinite, omniscient) comes in.... But please, don't use any of these insights for separate-self-identity/arisings. That only makes trouble and, you know, bad Karma. Because it is just not true. All of that holds for the True Nature of You, not some not-really-existing (EX-isting = standing out from reality) separate self. But it is not standing out from Reality, it is moving in it, as it, the temporary arising separate-self illusion moving within you and temporary capturing the show for itself. after all of that, you can Awaken to the nature/structure of Manifested/Appearing Reality/Consciousness, God Mind, Infinite, Brahman, Nonduality, ... However you want to call it. The last step is: (oh yes, after all of the above when having been stabilized in it for some time (days, months, years), the last big shift comes. And you won't overlook that one, because all of the above is gradual. This one is quantum). You won't overlook this one, you don't need to contemplate it, don't need to "make a decission" on it or on what you hold as true. It is totally fundamentally self-evident. It IS YOU. With that, you can look the devil in the eye and not blink. You will have the peace and bliss of your True Nature, that is "maintenance-free", since it IS You. It is variously called Great Enlightenment (Zen), Basis Enlightenment (Mahamdura Brown, Pointing out the Great Way), Great Liberation, ... Who or what is aware of all of that described above? Of the nondual infinite God-Mind Bubble Universe of manifested Infinite Consciousness floating in Infinity, as Infinity. What is the Reality/Awareness of Yours, that is inseparable of this Reality? What is the Awareness/"Subject" in perceptions perceiving themselves, without ever possibly having any location/center? What is the Reality/Awareness that can be originally "unaware" when no appearances arise in You (for example, in unware "normal" Deep Sleep), but has the potential of sentience as soon as an appearance is manifested? Who is hearing these words right now? What is this Absolute Subject, the Absolute Nothingness, that is so empty as Subject itself that the Absolute Abyss, that even God can't see anything in It? That you can only "experience", or that becomes available when "looking back" from "one level lower" and intuit/understand it as absolute Abyss of the Absolute Subject that you are? That then can be intuited/realized as total Abyss/Nothingness. That can never be any form or arising, because "the eye can't see" itself style? The Unmanifested Consciousness Reality that can be unaware of itself if no appearance is imagined, and yet that manifests as any possible world appearance in itself as itself, totally nondual, as the One Infinite Reality? What is beyond Manifested/Appearing Reality/Consciousness, God Mind, Infinite, Brahman, Nonduality, beyond all of that, but at the same time expressing itself through that? What remains if all of that, the Universe-Appearance, is switched off and ends, and before a new creation arises (for example in Deep unaware Sleep, or immediately after death before the show goes on)? What is the unmanifested "side" of Consciousness/Reality/Nothingness, but which is not different at all from the appearances arising within it, as it? That which can not not be there? That which has been called Para-Brahman, Godhead, the Absolute, Absolute Awareness, Infinite Awareness. The Fundamental Real You. That neither exists as appearance, nor does not exist because something still appears? The Water of the River that every Being is at its core. Or much much more precise, after all my clumsy descriptions above have failed: The Clap of the One Hand, or your face before your parents were born. And since You are already It, "I" am just.... ... Selling Water by the River ( : Somebody made a Video Channel on the last step: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9vlZGtpdFIts8GOG5vu27g Bassui on the never stopping short with small Enlighenments: "I have seen that the foundation of the universe is Voidness; still what is this something within me which can see and hear?” he desperately asked himself anew. In spite of every effort, he could not rid himself of this obsessive doubt." [Emptiness and Nondual stage, separate self still intact, on a very rudamentary level, just a void separate self watching Infinity. "The lesser masters from whom Bassui had sought guidance had all sanctioned his enlightenment [see above, Awakenings], but Koho, sensing Bassui’s keen, sensitive mind and the strength and purity of his yearning for truth, did not give him his stamp of approval but merely invited him to remain" "At work, at rest, never stop trying to realize who it is that hears. Even though your questioning penetrates the unconscious, you won’t find the one who hears, and all your efforts will come to naught. Yet sounds can be heard, so question yourself to an even profounder level. At last every vestige of self-awareness [remnants of Empty Witness] will disappear and you will feel like a cloudless sky. Within yourself you will find no “I,” nor will you discover anyone who hears. This Mind is like the void, yet it hasn’t a single spot that can be called empty [no location, unilocal, perception perceiving themselves]. Do not mistake this state for Self-realization, but continue to ask yourself even more intensely, “Now who is it that hears?” If you bore and bore into this question, oblivious to anything else, even this feeling of voidness will vanish and you won’t be aware of anything—total darkness will prevail. [Don’t stop here, but] keep asking with all your strength, “What is it that hears?” Only when you have completely exhausted the questioning [having become fully empty, even of identity with manifested Consciouss, "God-Mind"] will the question burst; now you will feel like someone who has come back from the dead. This is true realization. You will see the Buddhas of all the universes face-to-face and the Dharma Ancestors past and present." "With the passage of time one’s thoughts are stilled and one experiences a void like that of a cloudless sky [Emptiness, Nonduality]. You must not, however, confuse this with enlightenment. Putting aside logic and reason, question yourself even more intensely in this wise: “Mind is formless, and so right now am I. What, then, is hearing?” Only after your search has permeated every pore and fiber of your being [having become totally empty] will the empty-space suddenly break asunder and your Face before your parents were born appear. You will feel like one who abruptly awakens from a dream." from Kapleau, The Three Pillars of Zen PS: I didn't create that Video. But it is beautiful.

Nothingness doesn't try to become anything it just IS. It's not a noun it's a verb... IS-ING, BEING. It doesn't arrive anywhere, it already was there, is there and will always be there....God creates by Being not Becoming.

@Findus I wasn't talking about nothingness as you understand it. I was talking about becoming fully conscious that you are inside a dream. The dream still continues but you are aware that it is all your imagination. There is even deeper consciousness in which the dream disappears as you transcend it.

I'm really not trying to bother but doesn't there come something after this realization? Isn't it normal for nothingness to separate and try to become something else after it has arrived at absolution? I feel like you are overemphasizing the dissolution aspect over the creation aspect.