Books to read
How to be happy without a girlfriend?@Caterpillar
Self-love all the way my friend.
Even if you find a girl she will not be able to give you what you are looking for, the only one who can truly give you love is yourself, everything else is just a bonus.
It is a deep subject and there are so many ways to get better at loving yourself, just do some research into it.
What really helped me with finding it is Teal Swans book "Shadows Before Dawn".