I'm new to self-actualizing although I've have been watching Leo's videos on youtube for months now. I've been meditating for 2 weeks and I have also cut down my internet use. I used to have music playing in the background all the time while doing the dishes, cooking, etc but not anymore. I feel so tempted to turn on the music but I know that it's just me trying to avoid and escape my own thoughts. This afternoon, I was thinking and making a to-do list in my mind and I realised that I'll never really be finished. There will be a new to-do list tomorrow, the day after that and on and on forever. I had to do grocery shopping three days ago and had to go again today and will have to go every three days till the end of my life. Its like life is an endless sequence of mundane to-do lists that despite their pointlessness we cannot avoid. I don't know where these thoughts are coming from. Maybe its because I used to be so immersed in mindless stimulation all the time and my ego is just trying to force me to go back to that? Did anyone else go through this? I know I should be strong but these thoughts are very upsetting.