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About Amadeusz

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  1. So I was that excellent A grader back in primary and secondary school. I was polite, I was nice and I had poor social skills. And I had this complex that my head is too big. I mean it was huge but nothing to be shy about. But back then it was a real deal. And everyone was laughing at me. They called me the TV-guy, Square-guy, Huge-Head and so on. In high school this complex gone away as I healed myself a little bit. But it was still a present to certain extent and some people still made laugh at me. And the moment it stopped bothering me, people stopped making laugh of me. That's such an example of nonduality it shocks and terrifies me. Wow. It was all in me. My head haven't suddenly shrink. It was the same for years, since secondary school. Crazy. Do you have some other proofs?
  2. To me you shouldn't say 'I love you' to a women. Show her that you love her! Talk is cheap At first I laughed hard, but maybe it's not that bad of an idea? ;D
  3. I feel like I wanna do it. Last time I followed this strategy I found my gf. It was like something clicked with one girl and then I lost interest in pursuing many. I want to do it to be more masculine. After 3 years of not having sex taking psychodelics I became more spiritual and stuff but my pendulum swung too far. now I feel like I wanna solidify my pyramid at the bottom pursue sex and feel free, because now I'm still a little awkward with socialising and girls. But maybe that's my sneaky ego coming back? The problem is though that Leo kinda let me do it. He's like my guru and that's a little unhealthy?
  4. So I feel like I progress on my path, but I'm a baby Leo; After he's recently posted many posts on Dating about one night stands and picking up women, clubing and so on, he enabled me to pursue sex again. It's liberating, but at the same time I see that I'm super dependent on his ideology. Should I break free? What do you think?
  5. Yeah. But I mean jazz improvisation. And freestyle rapping/singing But that's similar.
  6. Yeah Leo glad to hear that from you. I have something similar but not with girls but with going to jam sessions. Going on stage and improvising is risky and often involves awkwardness. But that's how you develop. At first 'top players' were laughing at me, but now (after 4 years of major failures) you know I moved a little closer from laugh to respect. Some of them start to believe in me. Going to parties with lot of musician is still stressful for me but you know that's how you build this muscle. Involves a lot of awkwardness. And then the detachment comes. After all these failures you just stop caring much. And that what attracts girls, business partners and so on.
  7. Again slowing down is ultra hard. You will fail many times.
  8. Don't feel like meditation discharges me. Maybe it helps me to observe this sexual tension inside so then it's easier to control - this I can believe. Yeah I'm beating my record now. 31 days without edging. Hope it's worth the results. As I said I'm still a little more edgy, a little more confident, somehow I talk with girls more I interact more. It's like 20-30% confidence boost now. But have some ego backlashes with youtube though.
  9. You shouldn't resist unpleasant emotions and run away to a game. Just feel the emotions like Nahm says. Your mind will fight it though and will want to distract you with TV, games, stimulations . Just keep going. Try again.
  10. I fall probably into many traps, but I knew since the begining that nofap is only small part of the puzzle lol Anyway, yes I meditate 1h daily. So you say that it could boost my meditation gains?
  11. So i'm on day 30 feeling strong pressure since day 20 but somehow managed to get here it's one of my longer nofap streaks. Let's see how far can I get. Dont see much benefits Im more confident and little bit more sexual with girls. Also a little bit pushing of my comfort zone but still have to push through fear it's not like you do nofap and you're like a f****** Schwarzenegger.
  12. What do you think guys? The New Black Eyed Peas looks like a green to me.
  13. Day 22. Balls getting blue. Ego attacks with thoughts of relapsing. Feeling more confident, discipline's stronger.
  14. I have the same. Maybe we have to be dirty for some time and then settle with one girl... Maybe you need to sleep with many girls first to build masculinity
  15. Just a thought - I may be wrong but; I've been following this forum and I noticed that many of you guys have no results. I mean, I'm also struggling with this and have only moderate results. . For example in 'Show us your art' topic the art is often beautiful but then I look on your subscriber count and see like 1-50 subscribers. I haven't met single person with more subscribers. Like; I'm still an intermediate results maker, I have music youtube channel with 46 subsribers, 13k total views and second channel 4,5k subscribers, but in niche that I don't care at all). I know that youtube isn't everything. I've earned like 4000 PLN ~ 1200 USD from music in 2018. I still earn a living from tutoring chemistry which I don't want to do. I feel like many of us (including me) are too little pragmatic and we follow our passions, but our marketing suck. It's due to Leo's rants against materialism and now we are spiritual and all, but we suck at business. And we often indulge here on forum to procrastrinate even more too. But maybe I'm wrong? Show me your results!