JoshB

Dexter he has thumbs

@Inliytened1 @Leo Gura Love is You Reality isn't made out of atoms its made out of Love @Sempiternity you are me and made me out infinite love

Meditation got me to realize the substance of Reality is nothing and the illusion of duality. It radically changed my state.

I used to meditate for 1-2 hours a day for years. Ive done 8 hours of meditation for weeks at a time. Ive studied psychology on trauma ive seen counselors.

Awakening comes in many degrees and Ive reached a point where ive seen the Absolute nature of God. But trapped in the ego when im sober but there is still a large amount of conciousness just not When im awake on a pyschdelic its all me and God Loves me infinitly and I can imagine reality any way I want with as much intimacy as I want. With others realizing they're me and love and know me as much as I want. I had an awakening where I realized I determine if others exist or not. Well ultimately there is no self so is there ever really a personal problem no

I have been working HARD i meditated 3000 hours, ive contemplated for another 3000 my whole life. Ive tripped over 100 times most at break through dose. I watched 1000 plus hours of actualized.org.

All of the advice you post makes me feel like im not enough right now. @Leo Gura And thats the exact thing driving all of this. There's not some other minds out there that are more developed then me, more awake they're all a construction Within my own mind. When does the work end when does the seeking end when does the suffering end. What youre telling me doesnt add up to what you teach where's my say in the matter where's my will?

from the relative I might agree but from the Absolute I utterly disagree. I'm the reason anything exists at all

Who's to say ? Thats my exact case in point if conciousness is 1st order then the only weight anyones words have is the weight you imagine Im ultimately aware that im you and anything you say is my own mind talking to me You have literally taught this before years ago. The only authority in the universe is ultimately yours Youre literally imagining everyone and everything So then why do I imagine there are people above me in levels of conciousness. Why do I imagine im taking it too personally? Why do I imagine a complete lack of personal love and intimacy in my life?

I have the infinite capacity to dream but am yet to dream someone who actually realizes they're me and love me personally with the infinite capacity in which I Love them as their own self. but this dream overshadowed by the fact its just my conciousness @Leo Gura I would rather realize how I am constructing someone's distain for me then be given the "love" i receive from the people in my life I spent 1000s of hours watching actualized.org despite the fact you don't even recognize my own existence

Realizing you don't exist was the greatest dream God could ever imagine @Davino

I would rather stop DREAMING then that I have 0 desire to imagine you or other I would rather be alone then deal with you and any all others You're my imagination the point you make is mute

There is no such distinction

ofc

4 of my friends Died from suicide /Overdose, my Dad hit me for 10 years and gaslight me calling me a liar. The Love of My Life Life LEFT. Became Conscious of Solipsism directly. And I gave EVERYTHING INC MY LIFE TO GOD / TRUTH . And then LEO says hes more awake then me calls me disturbed and he doesnt love me personally. I dont know what to do or feel