effortlesslumen

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Posts posted by effortlesslumen

  3. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    49 minutes ago, effortlesslumen said:

    @steinberg

    So you might supress your masculinity out of the sheer terror of the event. Everyone has a femine and a masculine aspect psychological speaking and spiritualy thinking, it does not mean you immediately have turn this into a problem regarding sexual biological identity. 

    @steinberg

    No i have to correct this thought with a more accurate one. The masculine side is supressing the feminine side wich was vunerable at that time when you put your sensitive awarness (the lsd could make you really open to this and perceptive to it) on your inner working of your different polaritys regarding this topic. This could be a reason of your strong nauseating feeling when thinking of getting fucked as a female. Explore this feeling. Really feel into it. Maybe supressed shame that puts you at extrem points at both of your polaritys not able to balance out. Im not sure but my feeling says you should explore this! 

  4. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    15 hours ago, steinberg said:

     

    I started doing heavier doses of LSD. Around 500ug with eyeshades and binaural beats. The same feelings appear. My pelvis is shaking heavily while all these emotions goes around my body. My body produces a lot of estrogen. I have read a lot on trans forums about how it feels to do estrogen and it’s exactly the same feeling I am getting. My boners are soft and hard while I get these crazy body orgasms when I masturbate. I get these fantasies in my mind about being a girl being penetrated and it feeling good. It is like all of the energy in my body becomes pink and red. I see a lot of pink hearts swirling around. I suddenly feel drawn towards makeup, shaving my legs and doing all the other self care stuff girls usually do. I can watch a porn movie and feel jealous of the girl being fucked.

    This is really confusing. Because when I work out a lot and eat clean (which results in higher testosterone levels), I feel manly and the thought of being a girl having sex is nauseating. In these mind states I only want to have sex with girls.

    I have three different hypothesizes:

    1. I am a trans woman that have repressed my sexuality because I am ashamed of the trauma.
    2. What I am experiencing in the therapy sessions is the repressed emotions of liking what I was going through when I experienced the trauma, and I am integrating this disassociated part of my personality
    3. I have hybrid brain that could function on both testosterone and estrogen. What I experience in the sessions is just healing my trauma.

    Does anybody have the slightest clue or insight about what this phenomenon could be all about?

    @steinberg

    First of all i would further disolve the trauma to see clearer.

    Secondly you have to consider that this substances take your conciousness experience to an extrem point out of your ordinary ego perception. In that kind of state you could directly get in touch with your female side or soak up other female energys. Maybe at the time of the traumatic event you percieved yourself at recieving end of the interaction, where as the other party was the dominating manly part. Associated with the pornograpic projection of that film that was innterconnected during that experience which shaped it greatly. Might try to speak about the material that was seen during that time as well. So you might supress your masculinity out of the sheer terror of the event. Everyone has a femine and a masculine aspect psychological speaking and spiritualy thinking, it does not mean you immediately have turn this into a problem regarding sexual biological identity. 

  5. Posted

    9 hours ago, Jannes said:

    There are many very intelligent animals on earth like parrots or ravens who have a small brain and pretty dumb animals with a big brain like crocodiles or ostriches. My question is, is it possible in theory to have a very very intelligent creature with a very small size? Analogous to how old computers are often huge but have relatively very little power and nowadays devices like the smartphone have x100 that power with :100 the size. I am asking because that could be a solution for climate change. With gene manipulation we could simply make ourselves shrink a shitton so we have a lot more resources on earth. 

    In regard of the brain: It depends more one density and the  number  of neurons and how they are interlinked and connect to each other. Or better to say how they assamble to each other i think. Brains a very unique and i dont think the size ressembles the actual usability. So i think shrinking is not a problem unless you go smaller than the neurons in the brain if this is even a thing. 

    Also i think shrinking is not a good idea. 

     

  6. Posted

    40 minutes ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

    You must be female. I have yet to meet an honest man that actually doesn't consume pornographic material. You humans lie consistently. 

    I dont consume pornographic materials. Women do also consum porn.

     

    48 minutes ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

     You watch porn too (unless female, as they always tend to close their eyes). Men are sight-oriented. 

    This does not imply a real reason why women would not consume porn in some sense. But you are right the majority of viewers tend to be male. 

  7. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    On 6.8.2023 at 5:52 PM, Katerina Riverside said:

    Clearing kundalini blockages equals kundalini awakening / enlightenment. So, it is a very long journey.

    Fasting & breathwork are a great alchemy for clearing blockages. As well as kundalini yoga, meditation, psychedelics etc...

    @Katerina Riverside  Even when there has some partial awakening happend in some sense or intense symptoms have already  arisen (I guess this does not equal the awakening state)? 

  8. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    Thanks for the (for myself ) unexpected advice. I will look through everything. 

    On 6.8.2023 at 6:17 PM, inFlow said:

    It's not that you are looking for kundalini unblocking practices, but Nadhi unblocking practices. Nadhis are energy channels that are all around your body. When you clear some of the blocks it feel like a muscle twitch. You can feel it in your feet, arms, back, even on the spine and chakras, I even felt some twitches in my 3rd eye area. But the twitch is only once and it's gone, sometimes it can happens a couple of times in the same spot.

    Physical type of yoga + Bandhas and Ujjayi breathing. Bandhas are SUPER important, because it distributes energy in a healthy way. If you don't hold these bandhas while doing Asanas you can get into trouble and actually hurt your consciousness growth and even get a psychosis after doing it for a long time. That's why they say that Yoga can be dangerious if not done correctly. I can agree with that 100%, because while not holding Bandhas your head can get nauseous/dizzy, as soon as you hold them and breathe deeply with Ujjayi you no longer get dizzy and feel good.

    Physical yoga will clear your blocks quite quick, but it's a multi year process. Also Kriya yoga is good for this, but you still do have to practice physical yoga. There is no shortcuts here.

    Yoga has it's 8 stages:
    1. Yama
    2. Niyama
    3. Asana
    4. Pranayama
    5. Pratyahara
    6. Dharana
    7. Dhyana
    8. Samadhi.

    You do have to practice EVERTYTHING. Not just meditation. Yogis have written everything for us. We just need to practice it.

    In my experience physical type of yoga did the most of the work in my consciousness growth + clearing blocks.

    Good luck and please please if you will be doing Asanas be sure to learn how to do Bandhas. Those are Mula-bandha and Jalandhara-bandha. There is also Udyana-bandha. But it's not that important as those first two.

    Thanks for the detailed awnser. 

  9. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    @at_anchor Thats a good starting point.

    Mindful eating. Meditation as a daily habit. No coffein. Or drugs like alcohol and nicotine. Reduce social media and mindless scrolling. Reduce multitasking. Deal with heavy metals.  Gather information on impulse controll and addiction.

    You have to educate yourself, advice from this forum alone is not enough and cant grasp the whole aspects of the problem. And dont settle for shallow books or trendy advice. You also have to connect with your emotions and deeper rooted psychological issues. Behind some cravings often hides an unresloved emotional issue. Or maybe your throid is involved, hard to tell. You could also check for nurtiant deficiencies. 

    Also glucose from complex carbohydrates (squash, sweet potatoe, potatoe, vegtables;..) and sugars from fruits are part of a healthy diet not the other way round. Also replacing chips with pork rinds does not do you any good. Maybe try carrots instead or something. And you could eat dates of fruits instead of some strange dessert. 

    You could also check out Anthony Williams Books, which gave me a lot of info that helped me. 

    Here is also a  excerpt of another book that came to my mind.  

    However, food can also be directly addictive. For example, the amino acid tryptophan, which is found in abundance in chocolate, oats, and milk and meat products, is a precursor for the neurotransmitter serotonin, which improves mood. Normally tryptophan competes with other complex amino acids for entry into the brain, but an increase in blood sugar, which can be accomplished with sugar, white flour, and other "fast" carbohydrates, decreases the blood level of all amino acids except tryptophan, leaving it without competition for entry at the blood-brain barrier. This is an excellent recipe for addiction. Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies anyone?

    Fisker, Jacob Lund. Early Retirement Extreme: A philosophical and practical guide to financial independence (S.158). Unknown. Kindle-Version. 

    Also Leo has some helpful books on nutrition in his booklist.

    There is alot of information but be careful there is alot of nonsense out there and losely interpreted studies.   But at the end you have to see for yourself whats works after all its your life.

    I tried to give you an overview not a definitive awnser, because that would not be possible in one comment. I hope you find what you seek to move into a holistic direction.

  12. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    4 hours ago, Michael569 said:
    1. Social Media - shattered sense of identity, living "according to script" - as seen on social, trying to replicate people who themselves are fake & depressed. 
    2. Easy childhood, lack of challenges, lack of pressure, too much shielding from overprotective parents , 
    3. Decline in stage blue values - discipline, loyalty, modesty & humbleness, generosity,  honour, truth, beauty, slow productivity 
    4. Exaggerated sense of self-importance 
    5. Ilusion of choice (especially relevant to dating online) 
    6. Decline in parent-child time due to financial difficulties, parental careers and parents having kids in older age 
    7. Poor diets, excessive screen time, sleep deficiency
    8. Excessive porn consumption 
    9. Lack of purpose and passion 
    10. Addiction to stimulation (caffeine, sugar, weed, obtaining stuff quickly and too easily ) 
    11. poor living situation in many cases due to financial reasons
    12. + maybe poor maternal health during pregnancy event 

    Dont forget environmental pollution that can heavily influence your system (chemicals, heavy metals, plastic, and toxins,....) and  being cut of from how reality works ( no advanced stuff, i mean things like how survival works, nature; taking things for granted, lacking the conciousness how things interplay and come to fruition) The last point is also effected by the things you already mentioned.  Being stuck in pardigm. 

  14. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    4 hours ago, Nilsi said:

    I recently bought this Armani „micro-perforated lambskin nappa leather“ jacket and I LOVE it.

    I started wearing the same outfit to work everyday à la Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, etc.:

    Black Margiela Sneakers, black Dolce & Gabbana suit pants, black Sunspell t-shirt (the one James Bond wore in Casino Royale) and said jacket.


    I look and feel like a spy (a massively hot one) xD

    IMG_0023.png

    @Nilsi Check this out you might like it. It may fits your style, but it is on the pricey side.

     https://vollebak.com/products/laser-cut-trench-coat-black-edition?variant=39520415252569

  15. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

     Start looking for the content not the structure. No inaction now. Dont be the dreamer who ignores every detail and gets crushed by the elements. Analyse whats happening, reality based variables, forget god for a moment. Also look inside for fucks sake you are always pointing your finger saying god is doing this there and makes something over there. God has become a depiction of a pinata for you.   You act like its your first time experiencing hardship and now you already wanna give up  dont you wanna know where the other option leads.  "I have 0 freedom" and you want to accept this believe? Spark your ego,it seems like you still need it.  Work to resolve your problems and your awnsers will come. 

    1 hour ago, Holykael said:

    You guys are the cancerous god speaking to me and you aren't on my side no matter how ridiculous, painful or excruciating my situation gets.

    I was dragged through a mental hell with similar shit happening. Im gratefull now i love exsistence more than ever before in this lifetime. Its okay to be angry at god let all that emotions out he can take it. 

    Best regards, the cancerous god who doesnt stop wasting his time for your sake.

     

  16. Posted

     

    1 minute ago, Hojo said:

    @effortlesslumen you don't have identity in those dimensions nothing to control. When I was in the 2nd and 1st dimension i was just watching I didn't have a body to navigate. Things were just happening something was guiding me and doing things for me.

    Hmm interesting.

    This just came to my mind. My imagination is a mirror image of the 5 dimensions. So would the higher ones be the mirror itself.

  17. Posted

    1 minute ago, Hojo said:

    @effortlesslumen yea for sure you as you are not in 3d right now you are actually sitting in 4d you can see the 5th dimension it is your imagination.

    Now i just have to trick myself to actually believe i life in my imagination to acess the 6th, but my imagination is limited to  5 dimensions, so how can i sit in the 6th dimension when i percieve myself in the 5th?:D  

  18. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    22 minutes ago, Hojo said:

    @effortlesslumen it dosent have to be the actual dimension it just has to be perceived as that dimension.

    If you were inside a cube facing the faces and the cube rotated in a circle and you just see the faces while being locked in place you would say I'm in 1d as I can't move my head up and down cant move it side to side and no body to move forward or backward.

    That would be how God creates illusions by limiting itself into the dimension it wants

    @Hojo I see what you mean. In the perception of space/time it comes down to the perspective of god/exsistence and how it chooses  to see it . Aka Self-deception. Maybe. Everything above the 4th dimension could behave entirely diffrent or more complex. In the Absolute all dimensions could be inter connecting so deeply that they all become one only the distinctions of perception/perspective could let the image of a specific dimension appear. 

  20. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    12 minutes ago, Hojo said:

    @effortlesslumen on a shroom trip i leave my body and I went to the second dimension. It was 2d from my perception and there was a board game. Try to imagine the point that you focus your eyes on as the 2d dimension they can look up and down but never back or forward only focus and un focus. I was moving around like that.

    And then I hit 1 d and it was just rooms going from left to right. The rooms had no depth but they looked like they had depth you cant enter them because its like you are behind glass to the rooms. There was an alien in one of the rooms and he try to mind wipe me.

    Sounds interesting. But your description of 1d sounds like 2d with the illusion of 3d. Where it would ressemble the same  transition fom your 3D reality into the 4D reality. The illusion of time occuring

    Also how did you know you went "behind" god?

  21. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    I would rather say god is the current dimension of reality, the self opposed limit and the adjacent dimension, which dont have to be direct "neighbours". Also i dont think dimensions line up linear. God is way to tricky. But this is just my opinion. 

    51 minutes ago, Hojo said:

    From my experience when God is in a dimension of reality it blocks the other dimension by placing itself in front of it.

    When you say from your experience what do you mean?

  22. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    1. Vivo Foot barefoot shoes (waterproof and winterproof) https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/tracker-ii-fg-mens-ss22
    2. Vivo Foot trail running shoes for running and everday wear https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/primus-trail-ii-fg-mens-ss22 (goog quality but i had to stitch them with nylon thread)
    3. Black umbrella
    4. Black rainjacket
    5. Black Waterproof cap
    6. Merino tube scarf
    7. fleece beanie and fleece gloves
    8. used Northface backpack small
    9. 40 liter 5.11 tactical backpack
    10. Some jeans,cargo jeans, hiking pants,  some cargo shorts and other, 1 pair of rain trousers
    11.  3 hoodies, 3 pullovers, 2 jackets and 2 vests, 1 coat; most of this i had for a very long time or got for free, 
    12. random t-shirts, socks, black long sleeves
    13. 1 suit, and 3 shirts, 2 ties
    14. some sport clothing for summer and winter
    15. 2 pairs of sunglasses, 1 polarized, 1 self-tinting

    Im not going to buy clothes for a long time until they are completely broken or i need an upgrade for weather conditions, im more practical about clothing and put showing of outfits aside and combine the stuff i have in a decent simple manner, i have atleast 1 outfit that is wearable for serious occassions and im currently wearing out what accumulated over the years. I certainly will change into a smaller high quality, practical oriented (high performance, weather protection, fit for the occasion) wardrobe over time.

  24. Posted · Edited by effortlesslumen

    If you are really sick or struggling, breath work is not going to fix you. Breath work is really difficult for people with anxiety and even worsens it for most anxiety  sufferes, especially those with sensitive vagus nerves, causing neurological symptoms such as tightness of the chest. Breat work is not going to make lupus, neurological Lyme, eczema, fibromyaglia, Parkinsons, or MS go away. You can bring in simple, gentle breathing techniques -- if they feel supportive and you are also staying hydrated and getting enough glucose, electrolytes, trace minerals, and macro minerals such as magnesium and trying to stay off caffeine." Medical Medium Brain Saver Book page 84. 

    I hold this as true. Speaking from my own experience. I did it regulary in combination with much sport activity and used to be a habitul coffee drinker. Little did i know that the depressive and mental symptomps i used it against where linked to another cause. I did feel some possitive effects at first but slowly my adrenals and nervous system could not cope any longer and my body went into a slighty shutdown. I endend up running on adrenaline. Luckily i stopped and started got better. In my case i already had some things going on that were not a good combination. So i would be certain about your health state , why you use it and how you use it and how it affects your body not looking at the immdeate results, but more in differences of doing it 1 week on and off.  Balance.  For some people it helps  but for some its a mistake  and is not a good idea. 

    Of course you have to decide for yourself if you hold this information as valid. For me ending coffee and breathwork was crucial.