Shari

Today is moving slowly, and I don't feel very motivated to do anything really. I want to use so badly right now I can taste it literally, and I don't feel like I can do this. I keep saying to myself, "I quit, I quit, I quit." but it doesn't seem to help. I'll just try to stay in the moment and stay clear of anyone eho is using or holding. It is all I can do. I can't hide from life and its elements.

Today I was walking down the street, and someone I recognized from my past was walking toward me, saying out loud, "Drugs? There's a school right there, and I found drugs?!" Apparently, he did find a larger baggie of meth (I could see from where I stood), and he was pissed. He never used frugs back then, and I guess he's still not practicing. Good for him. The thing is, if he had taken a different way, he would not have found the baggie, and I would have, no doubt about it. That is why I firmly believe that God arranged things to happen as they did, so that I wouldn't have the burden of finding it, wondering what to do with it, and possibly screwing up my sobriety. In hindsight, I don't think I would have used it, but selling it or giving it away is no better, right? I'm just grateful it happened the way it did (It still would have been a great fing, though, my addict mind is saying to me. Stupid, eh.).

This journal will be a record of my efforts to become a better person wholly. I will talk about my goals, my fears, my motivations, my dreams, my conversations with my spirit guides, and anything else that has to do with my advancement as a human being in 2026. Today is day one. Tomorrow I will rise. I will not sleep in. I will make my appointments as well as commit to some serious writing for the day. I will watch what I eat and keep my living space clean. I live a minimalistic lifestyle, so it will be much easier for me to clamp down on things and focus. I will remain a vegetarian. I will call my mother faithfully every day as she wants me to. I will stick to my schedule properly. There will be no drugs, drinking, or smoking. This is my chance at becoming the person I've always wanted to be. I am almost already there, I just have to fine-tune things consistently, and my life will be complete with a humble grace. See ya.

Okay, but I warned you!

I am pleased that you are now enlightened. My experience in finding God came after a fruitless search EVERYWHERE for SOMETHING to show me the purpose and meaning of life. I didn't believe in God and was a materialist fully. But while looking for a reason for my meager existence, God showed Itself to me. He didn't go lightly on me either. There were some very tough lessons I had to learn about myself, along with my necessary ego loss. I am now a changed person, and now I don't know how I lived that far without Them!

I really DO believe that God was lonely as complete consciousness, and thus created the universe along with all of us humans with it. Ya, you think he would have his hands full enough, stopping himself from creating new alien species to exist. I jsut don't see it. Maybe I am too narrow minded. I just don't believe in aliens.

I am clairaudient. Six years ago, I underwent and experienced a serious spiritual emergence that nearly took my life. Within the four-month-long ordeal, there were many mystical elements present, mixed with an almost psychotic like consciousness at times. I even got to experience my dark nights of the soul! From this awakening, I developed my clairaudience. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't speak to the spirits of dead people, it's not that extravagant. I am not a medium. For me, I communicate daily with my spirit Guides who teach and lead me toward new experiences with humbleness and grace. I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there who experienced a similar type of awakening, or enlightenment. I know you're out there, so come out and play. Just kidding, I just want to meet like-minded people to share my expeiences with. I will answer all statements, stories, and questions. Thanks!

There was actually. Throughout the dark nights, every one of those nights, I was seeing visions and hearing the voices of unkown entities. When I woke on the 124th day, all had ceased, and I could I had finally purged my demons for good, finally. There were a lot of lessons to be learned, which is why I think it took so damned LONG. Thanks for your input!

Has anyone here experienced a "dark night of the soul"? If yes, could you describe how it went? Were there mystical elements to it? Tow years ago I experienced a 124 day dark night(s) and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure in my life. Those nights occurred while in the midst of a very serious spiritual emergence. It was so worth it though. I came out the other end a changed person and am grateful it happened to me. What I experienced (with ALL of my senses) were both amazing and horrific. If faced with another awakening that included a dark night, I would do it all over again.