Shari

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About Shari

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  • Birthday 03/16/1974

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  1. Dark Night of the Soul Inquiry
    Dark Night of the Soul Inquiry
    Yes and it was the most unpleasant, yet valuable time of my life. There were low key mystical elements like synchronicity, not much else besides that. I kept getting insights almost on a daily basis after I had understood what I'm going through. One thing that allowed me to embrace this time was someone on here telling me something along the lines of: just watch it happen, no matter how ugly it gets.
    The biggest thing I struggled with was getting as much time alone as possible during that period. I saw that I had poor boundaries and people kept stepping on them and take advantage of me. I realised I allowed them to behave that way. Ending this cycle was how it all ended. At least this one ?

  2. Dark Night of the Soul Inquiry
    Dark Night of the Soul Inquiry
    Dark night of the soul is when you see no way out. Life ie meaningless, but beyond that it's also pointless.
    Draw from the three characteristics in Buddhist: Lie if unsatisfactory, nothing lasts, and it's empty o f self.
    IF you really dive deep into these concepts and relate then to your life you may encounter dark night of the soul.
    Think about it, if all your hopes and dreams were shattered because you realized they have no basis in reality, where would you land?
    There'd be no point in doing anything. To cope, you have to figure out a way to make life worth living. That said, your ability to cope won't last. Because states are always in flux. We have no control over what comes amd goes.
    Hard times come and go and your needs and wishes will never be met.
    I can't emphasize that enough.
    Dark night is the fuck of all all fuck all.s
    There are ways to cope, but your primary focus will primarily be on your inner journery. Life will never do it for you, but pm the time at hand, you have to get clear on what's important to you. And it's important to have a reason to get od of bed.
    Check mate

  3. Spiritual Bookmarks
    Mystical Curses Are Real (Be Careful)
    I accidentally cursed myself going down this spiritual rabbit hole with meditation, psychedelics, and listening to various spiritual sources.  
    On the surface my life is successful, six figure income, successful career, I've slept with 6 women this year and frankly it could have been 8 or 9 if desired.  I'm a player, I'm doing well for my age financially.  I'm a good looking guy, people are genuinely jealous of me.  This is not so much a brag, more just a description of the superficial veneer of my life given what I'm about to divulge.  
    I have been infected by an extremely viscous mystical curse that took many, many forms.  It wasn't always a curse, sometimes it literally was a blessing.  I have and had hundreds if not thousands of experiences of clairvoyance for the past few years.  I've been given knowledge of the future, people thoughts and feelings, and much more.  80% curse, 20% blessing is probably the ratio.  I've done some really great things with it too in my life.  
    I've also been brutally psychologically tortured to the point where the level of psychological suffering was of a mystical level of suffering.  Think an infinite intelligence spinning tales of horror using all your deepest insecurities and fears stringing together the most hellish narratives of reality a higher intelligence could create.  In addition to that physical symptoms such as sleep deprivation for days on end, shocks through the body, all kinds of strange and extremely, EXTREMELY painful and uncomfortable phenomena.  There are endless ways for a mystical curse to torture a being, so many that I couldn't list to you all of them without writing a long book.  And even upon reading the book you would still not be able to understand without experiencing it for yourself.  But it's mainly through illusion, false narrative, false emotions, shifting your focus onto painful sensations or feelings.  It can control your behavior such that you destroy relationships, cause you to make errors, cause you to forget something important.  
    It can possess other beings around you in the same way, although this one is more rare in my experience.  It could even happen to someone who reads this post, the phenomenon can be extraordinarily subtle so that it appears to be your normal state of consciousness and feeling.  In fact, if you are open to inviting it in read and seriously contemplate my post before responding and you may invite the very mystical force that curses into your own conscious experience.  It could help you respond to this in a way that's more useful or beneficial and it may not have you be nice to me, which is fine.  
    Yea just be careful out there folks, it isn't all god realization and happy blessing from above.  You literally can go the opposite direction even if you're well meaning and trying to be a good person.  Although admittedly I was an extremely spiritually impure person at the time it started, I attribute that as being one of the primary causes.  I wasn't a serial killer or anything, in fact, I was a normal guy who struggled with addictions and some pretty dark stuff with my family and past.  
    I have to emphasis that mystical curses are real.  Perhaps keep that in mind.  I wish could tell everyone who goes down this path, just so they can avoid it.  Avoid it through purity, discipline, and pray for protection (that kind of stuff).  I don't think Actualized is honestly a good place for a lot of people.  I think actualized.org is extremely irresponsible, but from a place of ignorance because it's ran by one person (not said with negative emotion or hatred).  I don't think that Actualized is equipped to be proper spiritual source for everyone.  Churches, temples, very serious and pure spiritual practices are far better for god realization and far safer in this regard.  Actualized is not an ashram, temple, or holy place.  It is a forum, made by one man that has 12 year old's asking how to get laid one end of it and then on the other you have people who have literally been to mystical hell states and have seen the future.  This place lacks the proper respect and spiritual discipline required of a holy place made for people who pursue God.  
    And may I ask a favor of those who read this far?  Make a prayer for me if you actually read this post and send me a blessing, as the power of prayer and intention is real.  You have no idea how much I'd value and appreciate just your positive and loving intention being sent my way. 
     

  4. There is more than just this reality amongst us...
    There is more than just this reality amongst us...
    I communicate with otherworldly entities as well as people from different vibrational frequency realms/dimensions. The voices began two summers ago while I was experiencing a serious spiritual emergence that included a 124-day dark night of the soul. They never went away. I have sought professional help to see if I am crazy or not, and I have been deemed mentally healthy.  Can anyone relate, or does anyone have anything to speak about? I have an open mind to everything..... I am hungry for knowledge.

  5. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    I was in it for hours. But I didn't want to stay in it forever.
    I didn't contradict that.
    For me it isn't not about unworthiness.
    Yes
    When I mean Godhead here I mean the dreaming stops. You will not have any experience any more.

  6. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Interesting. The Godhead isn’t a place you go, it’s what you become. It’s hard to “un-become” something once that line is crossed through direct experience. Just adding a bit more context. 
    Boring is a bit harsh lol. It’s kinda fun being able to see reality clearly and point out ones  human bullshit with such efficiency.

  7. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    The Godhead is far from boring I tell you. 
    It is like being in an Infinite Orgasm. The more selfless you are, the less attached you are to the dream; The more pleasurable it becomes. Until the point of your last breath, and then you become it.
    There would be no possibility to even think a thought like: “This is boring”, when you are in that state. 

  8. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    I’m sorry but this not true at all. If you really broke in to the Godhead, you would have completely chosen to end the dream.
    You can resist it, which many of us do, but it feels like having the entire Universe on your shoulders, and standing on a ledge, in front of the abyss; ready to throw everything in to it, seeing how Beautiful it is if you would choose to do it. With all that weight on your shoulders, being an inch away from jumping; and then to resist it…
    It is our own selfishness that brings us back. It is our own sense of unworthiness that denies ourselves to stay in that state. 

    And of course our attachments.

  9. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    He's talking about a basic sort of awakening, loss of self. That's not the end game.
    I was talking about the end game, becoming pure Infinity. All life and form disappears forever. There is nothing to see and nothing to do there. You might as well consider it death.

  10. WHY EGO IS SOO DESERATE TO SURVIIVEE????
    WHY EGO IS SOO DESERATE TO SURVIIVEE????
    Of course
    Is-ness is Love.
    To source there is no difference between any two things. There are not even two things. Source is just metaphysical Oneness itself. It's an infinite field of Oneness. You can't be partial when you are so One you have no parts.
    Mostly through recklessness. Fear keeps you from doing dangerous things.

  11. Visual field changes while concentrating on object
    Visual field changes while concentrating on object
    Hi guys,✌️ 
    I've been doing Ekagrata (yogic practice of concentration) for about a month and I've experienced quite remarkable changes in visual field. The object I observe (a beam of light resting on the closet handle) starts moving up and down, it even dissapears and appears on a different place leaving gray dots behind it. The light itself becomes very luminous and intensifies shining as I increase concentration. Sometimes, the beam even doubles. The whole room becomes smoky and it shakes giving me nauseous feelings. Simultaneously, I hear high pitched noice in the background. Lately, I've been seeing purple color coming out of the concentration object which covers almost the whole visual field.
     
    Btw, there is another handle on the left of the handle I observe and the light on it moves along too. Once, I hanged my coat on the second handle and it also started moving up and down.
     
    More than that, when I intensify concentration, I feel energy coming up from my stomach giving me very powerful sensations. Once, it was so powerful, it scared me to death (btw I feel that energy 'freeing' while doing meditation as I increase concentration on breathing)
     
    Have you guys experienced something like that? Or do you know some resources for further research? ? @Leo Gura
     

  12. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Of course.
    As soon as I entered Absolute Infinity / The Godhead, I immediately wanted to come back to the human dream. The Godhead is boring. There's nothing to do there. No drama, just endless peace. You don't want that much peace. You are a drama addict.
    It's more interesting than that.
    Those influences are necessary in order for the dream to not immediately collapse. The avoidance of truth is like the backbone for the whole dream. Without it the dream would just unravel like a badly knit scarf.
    God has to employ all its wits to fool itself into believing the dream. That's why it's so sneaky and deceptive. How else could God forget that it is God? It's a trick of the highest genius. God turns its own infinite intelligence against itself.

  13. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Infinity has no beginning or end, so it's not exactly correct to say that you started in Nirvana. You started right where you are now and you're trying to realize yourself.
    If you basked in Infinite Love you might change your mind and wish to be human again. Infinite Love is pretty boring. The drama of life is much more interesting.
    Precisely because there is no difference.
    https://www.actualized.org/insights/why-love

  14. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    @Leo Gura 
    So why am I dreaming this dream? Why did I decide to come down here to play this game when I was already in perfect Nirvana?
    Why would a boy being born in the American projects or a war-torn country dream this dream when he was already basking in Infinite Love?
    If there is no difference between anything, why would some spirits choose to dream in poverty and some dream to be Warren Buffet's kids? Why choose to dream in the Paleolithic era where you can be eaten by a pack of hyenas rather than Year 4000 where you can actualize your creativity and explore the cosmos? Why choose a shitty dream?
    Haha. Like if there is no difference, then why is there the illusion of a difference in the first place?

  15. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    I didn't say the crudest survival strategies are the best.
    Survival comes in many, many degrees and it is constantly evolving. Evolution is survival at work. And everything is evolving, not just life but even mechanical stuff like your toaster.
    By having an awakening.
    You aren't an animal at all, you're God. Animals, physics, and science are just something you're dreaming up.
    The end game is you realizing that you're God dreaming the whole thing up.
    The end game is you realizing that there is no difference between anything. That's Love.
    End game is becoming Infinity.

  16. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    You're drawing some distinction between humans and animals or nature, when in fact humans ARE animal and ARE nature. There's really little difference. Nature is all about survival and so is society and most humans. Selfishness runs through the whole thing.
    All human interactions are basically built on selfishness. So it does work. It just has certain consequences and suffering that comes with it. But that's true of all of life and nature.
    If selfishness didn't work, it wouldn't exist. The problem is that it works too well.

  17. Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    Contradiction of Absolute Love in Nature?
    We established that the truth of reality and the universe is love and selflessness. We can see that the formula of selfishness does not work in human interaction. When we are selfish, we repel things and when we are selfless, we attract fruits. We established that selfishness is breaking out of metaphysical love. 
    Yet in nature, there is plenty of selfishness. As demonstrated in competition and conflicts in the animal kingdom (for mating, eating, surviving), and even amongst tree roots fighting with each other in Leo’s video explaining conflicts. So how do we explain animals and plants “breaking out of metaphysical love” when they are acting selfishly for their own interests?