Yoremo

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Posts posted by Yoremo

  1. Posted

    So this year I will be more patient and more thought through than other years. Other years I have only wanted to achieve outer success and stuff like this. This year I am going to approach my life differently, I am going to have a good look at my foundations. My beliefs, my self image, my traumatic experiences, my conditioning. All the other years I have always thought that external success is the way to go, and the way I did this was through a lot of discipline and suppressing other wishes and emotions I had in pursuit of this goal which I wasn´t even sure was worth it. So I want to take a good look at, and start my journey of understanding myself and how I can change the reality I am in inside out instead of outside in.

    I have kind of known that the external isn´t as important as the inner, but through living life quite miserably doing the approach of external focus, I am going to start and look inwards instead. Experience really is king, and me experiencing how life and reality is mostly dependent on your internal state and not how hard you work.

    So there are basically no goals this year. No clear cut goals, just some of them are out in the external, most of them are internal and building and developing myself from the foundation and up. And the foundation is the internal.

    I am going to search out some resources (books and videos) so I can start this journey of discovering myself and how I work. These resources are going to be about emotions, self-image, conditioning, beliefs, and really anything which will help me understand myself and how I work.

    Other than learning and understanding and embodying that knowledge about myself this year I will:

    *get better at socializing

    *Life Purpose

    *Pain and injury free

    *re-start soccer again and try it out (if it aligns with what I want to do still when I am able to play again)

    *buy a car

    *get a drivers license

    So it will still be alot, and maybe I won´t be able to finish it all, but focus will be on the inner working of me and then just doing these points because I want to.

  2. Posted

    I feel that the way out, and the way in for me is to help myself. I can watch videos, read books, get all kinds of advice. But when do I stick to it? When do I actually enjoy it? When is it meaningful? When does change feel good? — WHEN I DERIVE THE ANSWERS AND THINK AND DECIDE FOR MYSELF, CONSCIOUSLY! Which is exactly why my usage of this forum has been mostly me not taking responsiblity of my life and being a man to take care of myself. I still feel that advice on techniques and small directional advices is really good, but I have been trying to get rid of the responsibility of taking own decisions in my life, and that just doesn´t work that way! Which is probably why therapists don´t give advice, they just guide you to give yourself advice and help yourself. Because in the end, the only person which will be with you 24/7 is you, no matter how helpful a friend or something is, in the end everything is on you. And this truth is probably good to embody as soon as possible, because if I am reliant on others to grow and develop, then I won´t grow or develop. But notice the word "reliant", so that means I can still get advice and tips from others, but this is what a lot of people lack I think — responsibility for their life and owning themselves and their life. This requires a good amount of balance to do this healthy as many things, but be conscious of the difference of being reliant on others and being supported by others.

    These are my thoughts about this right now, and I think it ties nicely to the victim mindset which I am riding myself of now (in the making atleast). I thought of these thoughts because of the thread "no answers." so thank you for that thread:x

  3. Posted

    And I believe that I am right in that the right or the way that makes more sense is to try and make life so that everything is really easy. Not saying that I should only do the easy things, but hard things should be easy most of the time. Easy as in not something I hate or condemn, because doing something you hate is really hard (from own experience). The goal is to develop yourself so that I can do only what makes me feel good, and this has the foundation in a developed mind, a mind which isn´t catastrophical and negative out of default. It is a mind that is right, I don´t really know or can articulate in all the ways the mind works when it does in this way, but the net worth of emotions is really positive in the end. Yes, there might be a lot of resistance, but I believe the perception of resistance and pain and struggle is very different when the mind if different. Which further arguments that I do not need to look outwards for solutions, I need to look inwards into my mind and decide what to create. But at the same time there exists outer solutions for some problems, like changing diet and stuff. But I feel like this is just so foundational that it is a requirement for a high level of mindset. The argument of looking inwards is only used in other contexts than the ones which rely upon outer circumstance (this isn´t clear at all, I know. The way to know if it is something in the mind or not is to try). For example: I feel mad and angry at everyone in the world. This doesn´t mean that I need to change the whole world, it means that I need to change myself. But on the contrary: I might feel really fatigued and I eat shit and sleep shit: then there is no solution on the inside, the solution is changing your behavious, which is still changing yourself but it is changing yourself to change the environment to make the environment advantageous to develop. 

    Hmmmmm, I have not got this down I feel. But I don´t feel like the trap is that I missed something (necessarily) it is mostly that if I let myself get hopeless and feeling confused, then I have fallen into the trap. The trap is one step further down the path, but it could also be that I don´t actually understand psychology and stuff. But the antidote is probably to keep feeling good and keep living life and then the answers are going to unfold.

    I feel that sometimes I fall into this. Like, okay I may not know everything down to the specifics but that doesn´t entail that I need to get hopeless or confused, it is okay to feel that for a while. But to feel that way for an extended period of time just doesn´t make sense for me anymore. It just wastes the time to actually figure things out and to live life.

  4. Posted

    I think that first of all I need to optimize my sleep as far as I possibly can — so I can say "fuck off" to sleep and not care about it so fucking much and just have it going on in the background of my life and so it doesn´t take so much mental capacity from me. 

    So this is my list of things I will do/ will buy now:

    Habits:

    * try and get myself exposed to sunlight during the day

    *Put on my blue light blocking glasses 2-3 hours before bedtime

    *Not consume caffeine (haven´t consumed caffeine in like a month but I must remain vigilant and not fuck up because caffeine is not making me feel good)

    *Go to bed and wake up at the same times throughout the week (even on the weekends, will probably have to fuck up once a week because I am going ooout)

    *I am taking magnesium, will not take any other supplements because I like to consume supplements because they stimulate my fantasy of a magic pill to solve all my problems, but magnesium works a bit so I will continue to take it.

    *won´t drink alcohol, haven´t yet and I´m 17 and I will continue this way

    *I have blackout curtains, earplugs to make me sleep better

    *I try to eat atleast 2 hours before I sleep, but I can´t really decide that because I am a bit dependent on my parents but they seem to help me to make dinner in a good time

    *I am doing meditation and breathwork right before I go to bed to make me feel good and make it easier for me to sleep

    *I try to exercise as much as I can during the days — it will be more though when I have healed my body from pains and injuries

    *I don´t drink any water for like 1 hour or 2 before bed so that I don´t have to go up and pee during the night

     

    And these habits are going to make my sleep a lot better. But one thing that I need to change is my mattres, pillow and blanket. Because there are a lot better versions of these made to make me sleep better. I think that I can get hold of a weighted blanket which should be good, because my parents just bought for themselves and said they could buy one for me aswell, and I can test out my fathers blanket so I will and see if it helps out. I could probably get another pillow aswell. But I looked up mattresses and they cost about 500 dollars so I will probably just wish that for my birthday and hope I can get it. Will research and talk to my parents about it today during dinner.

  5. Posted

    So how could I incorporate these into my life as quick as possible without it completely everwhelming my life to the point that I can´t do anything else?

     

    Habits:

    meditation on the bus 

    breathwork and 30 min meditation in the evening before bed (45 minutes, no real harm to my time by this)

    Listening to affirmations when I am doing stupid work (school) and doing situational self-talk and such as in the self talk book I read (going to take proper notes of the book so that I can make my affirmations as powerful as I can) — probably not too much effort, just a change in the way I use my mind aswell that I get used to listening to affirmations during the day instead of music.

    Doing some kind of habit of convincing myself of myself (my higher self) where I set intention during weekend and prove it to myself in some way — takes some time and requires a lot of effort but I can go pretty slow forward, and going slow forward is probably the way to go aswell.

    I need to continue researching these areas of self image and emotions through Leo´s videos aswell as reading books and checking the internet. This takes a lot of time and takes effort to take good notes and then actually acting on it. Have to make some kind of plan of how I should learn, i.e. how and when I read to learn stuff. Maybe I can do that during the weekends only in between me going out (have to be socializing, which is my goal and I will make this clearer) when I take buses aswell as in the dead time before the partys and stuff. Maybe I can commit to learn every weekend for some kind of time period like "every weekend I learn stuff for 10 hours" — and making embodying and making the information my own a part of this so I can actually use it.

    I would need to do the LP course also but I really don´t know how the course is and therefore I can´t really asses it. But probably it would take time during the whole week, and to do both the LP course aswell as resears about emotions and stuff would probably be too much. So maybe I could fix my understanding and experience of emotions, self-image and stuff and then I could begin the LP course after a couple of months, but the main thing is fixing my emotions and self-image and stuff.

  6. Posted

    So I will start to plan them out and suggest things to achieve these goals (like habits and exercises).

    So this is my first try, and this is just what I feel inwards that could help me to achieve those four points.

    1: Gain emotional leverage and positive emotions about life in general and my goals and purpose in particular:

    Meditation! I have felt more and mroe the last months that meditation makes me see life in a much brighter light, so I will do meditation in the morning on the bus, and I will do breathwork and then 30 min meditation in the evening (that is also because I sleep better if I do that).

    Affirmations! I feel very good about affirmations! I have fallen of the wagon quite intentionally now because it is very hard to do affirmations when I am at home, but when school starts it is a lot more practical and doable. And then I have to listen and repeat affirmation that "life is good" basically + affirmations to boost my confidence and my belief.

     

    2: I need to change my self image to believe that I can achieve and also bust some limiting belief about myself about what I "can´t do"

    Don´t really know. Got the book "psycho cybernetics" recommended to me by someone on the forum so I will probably try and read this soon.

    I believe that it is mostly to set the intention of how I want to be and then proving it to myself aswell as repeating the affirmations of that person to further engrain the belief. So what I mean is that I write down on paper what I want to be for example "I am good with women", then I work to figure out stuff that can make me better with women, and then I prove it to myself. This is almost a game, where I reinforce my identity. Another component of reinforcing identity is repetition — the more I repeat something the more I identify as someone who does what I am doing often, and this changes my self-image.

    {Other than that I don´t really know, but I don´t know if I am lying to myself in the direction that I think that I should derive answers mostly from myself and keep it simple or that I really should look for answers, but I feel that my self derived answers makes me take action in a better way and more congruent way in some fucking way, don´t understand this fucking world dude}

     

    3: I need to only do things which I actually have a meaning for and which I want to do, genuinely.

    Basically, if I can´t find a reason as to why I should do something — then I don´t do it. And I should make this as a value of mine. One thing that does irritate me though is that I will have to go to school, which I don´t want to do but if I quit now I´d probably go into some scary depression because school enables to get some needs met which I cant meet in any other way (like meeting people) and it is also a sense of comfort and safety, and I need to develop myself more before I can go out in the world single handedly, but my goal is that I should be able to that after this year. This year´s goal is really to find myself and find belief and use my emotions in my favor.

     

    4: I need to stop being a victim and take 100 % responsibility for everything in my life, fuck blame, that´s not what this is about, it´s all about taking responsibility to be able to change. I´m currently watching Leo´s all videos on victim mindset and I am going to get rid of this.

    Well, I am watching Leo´s videos so I´ll continue that and then try and ACTUALLY take action on it. I don´t feel like it really, just watching the videos feel pretty good, but the atualizing this just .... I HAD AN EPIPHANY!!!!!!!!! The reason I don´t want to take action is because my belief of HOW it is going to feel to take action on it, like how defuq do you know how it feels bro? This realization just made it feel a lot better now, and I am confident that I will do it. I will do whatever it takes to get rid of my victim mindset, and if I have to guess I would guess that I would need to meditate on this a lot and contemplate it and remain conscious of it A LOT, and also sitting down and realizing where I have this victim mindset so that I can be more conscios and alert when those situations and contexts arise.

     

    I realised one more thing that I probably need, which maybe is related to the other points to a great extent but whatever:

    5: Finding my life purpose, more specifically doing the LP course — so many people has praised it on this forum so it has to be really insightful and this is probably also very foundational to everything else

     

    So I have all these pointers that I want to achieve and that rewuires work. So I need to compile some plan which doesn´t fuck me up in its great volume, it has to be balanced.

     

  7. Posted

    So I can start with dividing my goals into different categories:

    1: Goals that require me to buy things.

    2: Goals that require me to do things regurarly throughout the whole year to bring results

    3: Goals that require me to do things during a period of time

     

    So in the past my main problem has been great doubt of myself and more generally just overwhelmingly bad feelings (which has led me to do things to suppress this through youtube, bad food, tv, movies, mostly youtube though — like yesterday night I watched yuoutube from like 9pm to 4 am because of the emotions I felt and that I didn´t want to face them and so I tried to hide myself basically — and this has to stop. Because even when I had my purpose and goals in soccer I still watched youtube alot even though it wasn´t as extreme as now.)

    So I need to:

    1: Gain emotional leverage and positive emotions about life in general and my goals and purpose in particular

    2: I need to change my self image to believe that I can achieve and also bust some limiting belief about myself about what I "can´t do"

    3: I need to only do things which I actually have a meaning for and which I want to do, genuinely.

    This is just to not do my coping mechanism and self destructive behaviour of shuting off everything and turning into a passive human being and a victim. And now I remembered that:

    4: I need to stop being a victim and take 100 % responsibility for everything in my life, fuck blame, that´s not what this is about, it´s all about taking responsibility to be able to change. I´m currently watching Leo´s all videos on victim mindset and I am going to get rid of this.

     

    So it´s okay for me to plan my goals now. And I will also start and incorporate action which leads to some of these goals right away, but the main focus of the beginning is going to be to fix the above four. And really, if I can only do the above four points this year then I am going to be delighted: because the above four will ensure such a more smooth life than if I don´t have them (and I don´t have any of them down yet). So I will plan out those four with intent and more focus and intonation on those than anything else.

  9. Posted

    I really feel like finding my own answers is a responsibility which I have to take! And I feel that I have been a bit too dependent on answers from other people on this forum on things which I could find out myself if I just used my mind and focused on that singular problem. But I feel that I want to have help with getting the tools or techniques to do this and I would really appreciate it if someone could help me:) 

  10. Posted

    I feel like there has to be some kind of process where I discover the answers myself, and make them my own aswell as changing how I view myself. Some kind of contemplation or something (don´t really know what contemplation is and haven´t really done it). Because just getting answers doesn´t feel satisfying enough to embody them in some way, and I feel that to make something your own you have to slow down thoughts and contemplate it deeply. I feel that there has to be some practice where I can focus on something I want to learn and make it my own (don´t know how to say it better, just feels like I make it my own). 

  11. Posted

    The only way I have discovered of changing myself is through affirming myself whenever a hard situation arises and trying to prove to yourself that you are what you are affirming. But the downside to that was that I felt it was really hard to do this on several things at once. So I could change myself so that I didn´t care about what others thought about me (that´s what I affirmed to myself and tried to live by) but it was hard to do several self-image changes at once.

  16. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    Hey, so where I grew up the girls and the boys were completely separated (decided by ourselves), and because I didn´t really think that I could be with girls (my parents made me feel very weird about being with girls and I accepted it, I was a child) and so I wasn´t.

    So here comes the fucked up part (maybe not as much as I think but whatever)— I can´t really have a good conversation with a girl (nor nonsexual or sexual) without it feeling really weird, it just feels wrong. I feel so separated from girls in a way. Maybe I just need to socialize more with girls but I feel this very weird feeling of non-presence with girls. And this is not insecurity, I think. I just feel really odd with women, I can´t be present and enjoy their company as I can with a guy. I think this is definetely because the lack of socializing with girls in my childhood.

    Maybe this is just that I need to be more with women but I would really appreciate your opinions on it.

  17. Posted

    yeah, I just need to get some initial confidence and start socializing and start to engage in what I usually look down at (I don´t know why I´m so bitter, I think I´m bitter of seeing happy people socializing because I feel internally that I can´t do that, even though I know I want that part of my life). I´ll try and just have the intentions of getting more comfortable around people and then I think I have got the attraction down already—when I look back I see how many girls were attracted to me but I was just too stupid to realize or escalate it (thinking that "no, how could they like me" and doubting myself taking another step with them). But now I know that so I´ll be able to look out for it and do the right thing.

    5 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

    Go ask around

    @Thought Art Ask around for what?

  18. Posted

    So what goals do I want to pursue first? And how do I pursue them (i.e the process)? I could follow a model like SMART goals or something, and yes I can double check on the SMART model of goal-setting, but the most important thing I figured out is that my plan and strategy and everything around achieving my goal should be constructed in a way that I really want it. What I mean is that I don´t do it mechanically, that I think inside and outside of the box to make things work.

    *the goal of me being pain free will be an ongoing process during the  whole year because I need consistent effort to achieve higher fascial fitness levels to make my body resistant.

    *getting rid of acne is through facial hygiene, through my skin gel (I think that that is sufficient because I have not had as much acne since I started with it)

    And for me to be able to really do anything else I need to develop my mind to be more positive, hopeful and raise my vibration (emotional scale), so affirmations is good for that, and this journal will help me achieve clarity, I will write out my notes on my computer of "atomic habits" tomorrow I think so that I can start and use that knowledge, I will try and use the emotional scale and dream board. Will think about how to do this more in detail more, have some ideas right now about that though. My idea of the emotional scale is just when I feel the worst in school (and don´t get anything done anyways) then I just go through the emotional scale. The dreamboard is a bit tougher, I can´t have my dreamboard in the middle of my living space because I don´t want my parents to see it, but through meditation and everything else it should feel natural when I should use it. Getting myself to feel a bit better is a pretense for me to be able to consider taking on more, because I fear the wall I hit when I do too much and I don´t want to do anything—because that usually means starting over from zero for me—but I will not let anything like that happen anyways but I need the emotional quality no matter what to be able to achieve this year and beyond.

    I will make physical lists of my goals and what I really want to do first thing, physical because it makes it easier to get a view over everything. And I will have to consider what I want, what order would be most beneficial for the greater good and that´s basically it.

    In the past I have tried to set goals aswell, but it hasn´t worked well and I want to analyze that a bit, not now though, have to go to bed.

    I think that I will try and see if I can find places and people to socialize with since this feels the most important to me now, and the thing I´m most interested in and driven and passionate and the thing I feel the most good feelings about. And then this means work on me as a person to handle all the social aspects of my life, aswell as finding peace with my parents and my situation and my realationship with them.

    I have a lot of difficulties of writing stuff like this, I tend to write a bit then watch youtube or something because that makes me feel better, but I´ll harness my drive and desire for this one and plan and strategize this one out during the coming week.

    Hey! also I don´t need to train this week! It has really been a "need" to train the last 12 weeks, it has been so mind numbingly hard, I feel nervous already thinking about how hard it will be again, but empowered mindset doesn´t care. Let´s recover good and feel good now so I can tackle and attack the training once it starts again on wednesday!:x

  19. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    So I will track my habits, I will start doing this on 10 january when I start school and routine kicks in again. (I will do this more or less until that too though, just not tracking)

    The habits I want to start with:

    morning routine and habits: 

    *wake up right away by 05:55 am

    *drink one liter

    *sentence completions

    *Brush my teeth, put on skin lotion, get my hair done, putting on perfume and deoderant (in that order)

     

    * I will bring a water bottle to school and I will drink around 1-2 liters during the day—depending on how I feel

     

    Then I ride the bus to school and home — like 45 minutes.:

    So I´m going to have to make use of my time on the bus in one of the following ways: (the accountability will be to see that I atleast did something on the bus)

    *meditation (on the breath)

    *Reading and highlighting/noting the pages with good stuff on

    *Watching a video about smth (not that good to do though since wifi doesn´t always work on the bus)

    [I will just feel what I want to do and most of the time it will probably be the meditation because of how I have felt the last period of time.]

     

    Evening routine:

    *breathwork (either 5 min or 11 min, depending on how I feel)

    *30 min meditation

     

    *I will do my workout routine (fascial training the days I need to, atleast rolling and tc everyday, and then the full workout every other day with flexibility to take two days off if I feel like that would be better)

     

    During the weekends:

    *on saturday doing 30 min (slowly increasing) shamanic breathing (feels good)

    *on sunday doing the schedule for the week (scheduling in all of the activities and habits so it works with school and appointments)

    *on sunday cleaning my room (vaccuming, cleaning up my floor, desk and changing the bedding)

     

    during school:

    *Listening to atleast 2 hours of affirmations (while I´m doing stuff, not something active)

     

    Getting good sleep:

    *taking on blue light blockers 2 hours before bedtime

    *going to bed at 9pm the absolute latest

     

    *writing out this journal (don´t care when, I will just get it done, I will figure out the optimal times to do this when I start my routines)

     

    This is the bare minimum which I feel I need to feel good. Note: I have many of these pretty nailed down already— have some new things on the list which are on the works more like sentence completions and listening to affirmations, but this is a good start and will ensure a baseline level of feeling good. I don´t know if these are bad, maybe some are, but as I said before—as long as I have clarity and thought it through it´s okay to fail. I don´t really know how to track these habits technically yet—I don´t know how to write it out on this forum without it being a complete pain in the ass.

  20. Posted

    I am ending this diary here, because I can´t have a diary for each and every one habit and thing-- so I will take advantage over the benefits of journaling in my other journal, and affirmations will start more seriously when I start school because that routine will make it a lot easier to hold up that routine.

  21. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    Hey, this is my journey to start and live my life, I am deciding to love life everyday from now on, loving myself, everyone around myself, growing and finding myself.

    I have never been this broken, I´m crying all the time and I feel bad as a human a lot of times. Now I want to actually take responsibility for myself and my life and my emotions. I´m not stuck anymore, I´m not bad I let go of this and feel the happiness in the moment and embrace reality and the journey of happiness. This is not me striving for anything, no, I am perfection in every moment and I am what I decide to be in the moment, and I choose to be what I want to be and I do what I want to do.

    I may not have all the answers, I may not have all the advantages and things and help I want. I trust myself and that I can be happy now, I am happy now and I can be happy and "me" and the stillness at all times and I am the person I think I am. Trying to solve me being something I don´t want to be won´t do nothing, it focuses on the person that I don´t want. I can choose to be. I choose to be. I choose to do what feels good. I choose to learn and I choose the path. I choose to accept and love. I choose to be where I want to be. I choose how I feel through the thoughts I focus upon and the intent I put forth.

    I have a lot of goals and dreams, but not all of them has been what I´ve felt for. I now respect my integrity and I am going to do what I want and focus upon what I want. My goal of soccer is maybe not meant to be, I honestly don´t want to do it now so I won´t, because I can´t and I don´t want to. What I want: I want to be able to socialize, I want to be an extrovert and introvert of my choise not succuming to anything. I want to feel good emotionally, I want to feel people and connect, I want to feel the dreams I have inside of me, I want to actualize the immense feelings of connectedness and happiness and satisfaction which I contain within me. I want to see how I can choose my beliefs if I notice them and how they affect everything. I want to live a life, a life which feels so immense and good so I don´t even know. I want to be strong, I want to be smart, I want to be kind, I want nature, I want to be able to provide and add value for the people around me and everything around me, and most importantly to myself. I love myself and I am all and everything that I need to be. I want to go out and experience adventures around the world with people, experience the world. I want to be an example to others of the embodyment of life, and not letting myself be distracted by how things "are".

    I wish to not be determined by how my life started and blame everything on that. I intend to outgrow circumstance. I intend to show my love to the people around me in the same depressed situation I have been in through showing them that through using your mind in the way the mind works to your wishes makes everything so much better. I intend to, no matter what goals I have, to stay proactive in life and do the things I feel that I want to do. I know much feels unclear and unsure right now, but real power lies in acting and thinking myself in to whatever I want to do. Real power is self mastery, noone told me self mastery is easy, noone I know knows of the idea of self mastery, I want to help them and myself. I will find clarity in thinking myself and using my mind in a proper and constructive way to find a way and through making things simple and not overcomplicate things, it´s simple dude, might be hard but god damn it´s supposed to be simple.

    My goals for 2022:

    *getting a girlfriend (practice game and socialize), someone I can share my life with, doesn´t have to be the ultimate one but a real good one

    (game/socializing goals):

    *increasing my self esteem (which is basically consciousness and acting upon that consciousness)

    *Developing positive self-talk

    *indifferent to people´s opinions about me (no worrying or doubting myself because of fear of other people)

    *charismatic (fixing my grumpy mood really, I know I am extremely charismatic if I don´t feel so bad)

    *happy and funny and easy going (generally having more of a sense of humour ad enjoying things and laughing)

    *being confident (so I can carry myself like myself without fear or anxiety, so that I can be the person I want people to know me as)

    *masculine

    *being "the man" here where I live-- Being a real genuine man without all the bullshit and insecurities which everybody has, I´m "that dude", the dude living his life and whom everybody looks up to

    Other goals:

    *stop being angry and having conflicts with my family, being the mature one to show and lead the way

    *Get rid of my anxiety and all the symptoms which I guess is based on anxiety like my chest pains, breathlessness and just feeling like I feel stress inside of my body (I have social anxiety aswell as a lot of anxiety for other reasons which I am not entirely conscious of the reasons yet)

    *Heightening my emotional quality overrall

    *Starting the process of finding my life purpose

    *gaining more clarity in life through learning from others and listening inwards

    *Fixing my breathing completely so that I can breathe completely free

    *Getting completely injury free (high af fascial fitness)

    *rejoining soccer and trying it out to see if I still want to do it (when I am injury free)

    *Passion for my life and purpose

    *living my life the way I want to consciously and respecting the opinions of others but not really giving two fucks about it

    *buying a car

    *getting my drivers license

    *having balance in my life and being able to balance and recover in a healthy way

    *getting good sleep

    *emotional awareness and understanding (emotional intelligence)

    *getting rid off acne

     

     

    That´s the goals for the year, they are not so defined or anything right now, but I just compiled what I feel that I want and I will try and compose a good plan of how to do this in a wise way. I might not succeed with everything but I will focus on developing myself this year in a good way. Some of these will just require me buying something, some that I develop some habits and some that I do something a couple of times only. The main resource I will use for building habits will be atomic habits which is a really good. The rest I will kind of research when it´s time to do that. I will build some habits for always learning to make this easy like reading and watching youtube videos.

    The main requirement is that I have to really want to do what I do in the long term, I am allowed to feel otherwise during the process but I will make conscious and clear decisions when I decide to do something and then I will commit to it and follow through with it. But this also requires me to not make stupid decisions, I can make wrong decisions but they have to be really thought through anyway so I can avoid that as much as possible.

    I don´t know how to organize this, but I will figure it out before school starts the 7 january and I will have clarity, never mind if it´s right, I don´t care I just need clarity. But I know one thing: I will start my journey by just having this journal as an accountability partner for me doing the core habits that will make me feel good, my morning routine, evening routine and some habits during the day. I will make it so that it won´t be too little or too much, because if it is then I won´t want to continue because it will not feel good. So that I can have some kind of base.

    Then my thoughts right now (they can change, that´s okay) is that I will have a overlapping system to achieve goals more separetaly but I guess I will probably have to work on a couple of goals at once, and of course the attainment of some goals will make other goals easier. For example if I get injury free and pain free early this year it will help me with everything because then I don´t have to be so sad, mad etc. etc. 

    I have had difficulties with making goals before, I have had difficulty stating them in a way so that I can actually achieve them. I think the solution is to listen inwards and contemplate and think about it (in kind of a pleasant and nice feeling kind of way) often and strategizing and thinking about how I can improve my plan and strategy. It is really hard for me to make my mind come up with concrete and good plans and keep going at them, but this is not a sign that it´s wrong-- who said it was going to be easy all the time? especially at the beginning I have to man up a bit and go through some pain and accept it and still move forward.

    Another thing I will have to handle is how to implement my theory into practice, like the "how to get laid" seried which I took notes like 30 pages long-- how do I convert this into action and mental habits and fundamental understanding? well, I´ll have to figure it out, but clarity is key-- no matter if it is right or wrong I have to make myself make it clear so that I later on can learn from what I did (otherwise I don´t really know what I did).

    And while I might not be achieving everything to the extent I want, I honestly don´t care-- why should I? Why would I? I want to show that it´s possible. I know the fucking abyss of bad feelings which come at you when you try to get better, but I will find strength inside of me through looking in the right places and grounding myself-- meditation, breathwork, music, contemplation, talking with people.

    I will clear this up during the coming days.

    Dare to be great. Dare to feel great rather.

    In this journal I will set my goals, track my habits, and plan and strategize about the future.

  22. Posted

    @Medhansh yeah, have to be careful not to go down the mental masturbation path. But it´s weird that there is not much advice on this around, and I thought about this and maybe the solution is just that you have to make yourself concretize it, that´s what I find hard but maybe it´s just as simple as that: look at what you have information-wise and see what you can think of in terms of change in action and thinking. 

    What I find really hard is these statements of how you should be that I tend to find sometimes in self help, (like be confident) and I guess that that is just not really any advice and that in that case I need to find something concrete. It´s like when I learnt about self-esteem, and what self-esteem is, that doesn´t really help (it just clarifies the term), but maybe that is helpful but that I can´t just see it. Like does everything have to have a technique for me to change? 

  23. Posted

    Hey guys, hope you´re all well and happy new year!

    I have had some difficulties implementing theory into practice, I don´t really know how I should convert theoretical information into practical, concrete action. I watched the episode "learning=behaviour change" and much of it was about that I need to clearly know what would change in my life of of theory. I just find it really tough to convert theory into something actionable. Like for an example, I have taken notes on the "how to get laid" series, but I don´t know how to 1: take any action on it, and 2: how to sort through the sheer amount of information, I took like up to 30 pages of notes, so how do I make all of these pages of notes into something I can do something about?

  24. Posted

    @Ivan D I have solved this issue for myself, although my addiction to porn and masturbating maybe wasn´t as bad as yours. But here´s how I did:

    So I started to take one day of basically, where I couldn´t watch porn nor masturbate. And I would do this for a week or two. Then I would maybe decide that I can wank of say monday but not watch porn. And you just continue to do that very slowly and now I can masturbate to no porn about 3 times a week on average. And this makes you accustomed to the change. But this only works if you like me had just made an habit of watching porn, and then it will work and you´ll probably feel a lot better about yourself.

    But I think that sometimes the problem lies in some emotional problems or some need you´re not meeting up or something, and I don´t know what to tell you if that´s the case.

  25. Posted

    @Adodd So I was probably a bit unclear in my post, discipline is really not a problem, I am the most disciplined person I´ve ever met in my life. It´s more that I lack results and lack good feelings in my life. I´m very disciplined but I don´t really consider that a good thing because that makes me more prone to doing things that I don´t like just because I have this idea of discipline always being good no matter what. I don´t have an amazing life, nor the trajectory towards it and I´m looking for help to help sort out how I´m going to do that.

     

    @Carl-Richard Yes! I´m doing atleast 30 min meditation in the evening and I usually do breathwork everyday (which is kind of meditation). And it is really getting better and better. I feel much more connected to everything in a weird way now through meditation and breathwork, and I really like it although I miss out on meditation maybe once a month or so.

     

    9 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

    @Yoremo This was me for a long time. 
     

    • The little things you’re doing that you aren’t sticking with are still growing you in a way
    • You need to stop telling yourself you’re sucking at life and start noticing all the ways you’ve shown up for yourself
    • No more shaming yourself, we don’t improve through shaming
    • Stick to small steps

    *How am I growing if I´m not sticking to what I set out to do?

    *well, I´m kind of stuck in the loop that life sucks right now

    *I´m trying to not shame myself but I don´t really know how to do this all the way, because I still feel shame inside of me and blame (most definitely from my parents whom still are blaming me and making me feel bad af). 

    *this is something I´m learning more and more, taking a lot smaller steps than I want to.

    Like I know all of this intellectually but I can´t do it practically.

     

    9 hours ago, hyruga said:

    You need to read more fictions. It's the stories that inspire you.

    For example, Frodo in The Lord of the Ring has an unwavering focus to destroy the One Ring. You cannot get that from self help books which just give the techniques most of the time.

    Well, through my experience they don´t really do that for me. I have always kind of envied the people that can get inspired from fiction. I´ve read the lord of the rings and other fictions, but I never feel really inspired. I´m probably just reading them in a suboptimal way because I´ve heard that from people that they got inspired by some book or movie or whatever but that has literally never happened to me.

     

    5 hours ago, Chakra Lion said:

    When we climb the ladder of life, often we are so focused on continuing up, that we forget to look down to see how far we’ve come.

    Maybe not everything has changed or improved, but surly some parts of you or your world have. Trying to put motion into your life is much harder when your standing still. That’s why a destination or goal is ideal. You have somewhere to go and a reason to move.

    You need to identify the moments of time when you feel like you are wasting it. Write it down and write down the actions or ideas you would rather be doing. Seriously think about the person and life you want to find yourself in, ponder the story you want to live. Don’t let doubts hold you back from who you are able to be.

    What’s something you want to improve or balance in your Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, or Spiritually life? How do you like to express yourself? Take the Myers Briggs Personality Test or read a detailed astrology chart of yours to get inspiration. Find a new action or idea that makes you bubble with excitement when you think about it. What’s something that you want or need which seems like it would complete you? Find something so far out, but realistic enough to actually work towards it. Step by step, minute by minute, day by day.

    I took the personality test and it said INTP-T, but my main concern for these tests is that I answer the feelings depending on how I feel right now. I actually feel very dependent on having meaningfull relationships, but my theory is that because of my upbringing I never figured out how to socialize and so I don´t.

    I want to have some help with figuring this out: I always thought that my goal and purpose in life is to be a professional soccer player, I´ve been wanting to do this since I was around 12 years old. The thing though is that I have never felt a lot of emotions toward soccer, I think atleast. It feels like everything has been put on hold in my life because I wanted to be a footballer. But now I´m suspecting that I have been very bad at feeling inside for what I really want to do, so I constructed a purpose or goal of becoming a footballer intellectually and that´s the reason why I haven´t progressed in my life-- because soccer might not be something for me. I still feel this feeling that I want to do it, but at this point it feels like it´s just my ego or something which is so invested in me being a footballer that I don´t want to let it go. 

    But how do I know whether I feel for soccer or no? I´m very confused about how I choose what I should do.

    I have realized the past few days that even though I´ve never been social, the best memories and the best emotions I´ve felt has always been with other people. And I´ve always fantazised about doing stuff with people and developing strong emotional bonds to them (but I never have done this to the extent I´m talking about). And actually the biggest reason as to why I like soccer so much is because of the comradery and the fun with people (but I might just like football aswell which makes me confused as to if soccer is "my thing" or not). And because I´m very injured right now I had the idea of trying real hard to socialize with people. And my dream would be to have a girlfriend whom loves me (I´m 17, soon 18 and have never had sex nor a girlfriend because of the lack of social skills). And the thing is this: the most inspiration and emotional leverage and adrenaline and all of this I´ve felt naturally without TRYING to feel something (which I have kind of done with soccer) is when I have thought about being "the man" so to speak, having a loving relationship with a girl and being a charismatic and good man and having good friends and having all the good social qualities like confidence and everything. That´s making me really amped up. So I am thinking of following Leo´s video series "how to get laid" (which is basically "how to socialize" in many ways) and using my inspiration and drive to get a girl and get good friends and being a great social being to develop myself, and changing my beliefs and tidying up my life with this dream of connecting to people as a drive and inspiration. These are my thoughts right now, and like last night I couldn´t sleep for two hours because I was feeling so enthusiastic about this and just thinking about socializing which I feel has been an craving which has not been met for my whole life (maybe this is contributing to my addictions too)

    4 hours ago, Gregory1 said:

    What is your motivation for personal development? Like what is your WHY? You should only do the things that you WANT to do. You need a reason. Stop forcing yourself to do personal development. Do what you love. Doing what you love is easy. Doing what you love is natural.

    My WHY for personal development has been because I wanted to be a footballer. But I´m confused as to if that WHY is the right WHY for me, because it feels kind of lame in some ways for me, it feels like I´m trying to make football my WHY forcefully because I´m so invested in it now because I have been trying for almost 5 years now seriously (I´ve played for soon 12 years in total). So maybe it´s the wrong WHY but as I wrote higher up in my response I´m confused if either I want football to be my why while it just isn´t or if football is my why but I just can´t do it right now because I´m injured (also football hasn´t been always so fun because my teammates haven´t been so welcoming to me, and I´m a bit shy so I was quite lonely in my club and I couldn´t change clubs because there are no more clubs around me).