decentralized

Do you have any idea how long will it take to release all the tension? Is it even possible to stop these spontaneous movements at all? Today I started learning tai chi and it helped a lot already

@theleelajoker omg you have these too?! I love synchronicities! Thank you for your answer, trying to be still tensed me up but flowing with it until at least I release some tension sounds good!

I’m curious. My doctors say I had psychosis from psychedelics and must never do them again. I say I realized I am God. But there are still some things I have not figured out yet, let’s call them psychosis. I believe I will reincarnate after I’m dead so I try to do good deeds as much as possible. Now that my energy is back I started again with meditation and I’m also practicing tai chi. I wonder how deep we can go without taking psychedelics. I’m trying to clear my karma so I can go even deeper in my next life. Might sound funny to some of you but I don’t believe I will be able to do psychedelics again in this lifetime, not even cannabis. A part of me believes I should be completely fine with not taking any of them again. I heard someone say “full sobriety is the real trip” I want to discover how true is that. Maybe after my karmic knots which put me in this situation resolves, life will put me in a situation where I can do it again, as being a different me.

I’ve had these spontaneous neck movements in the shape of 8 and spontaneous mudras over a year now. Before they started I could be still in meditation. 🧘 I had a break from meditation after a spiritual crisis but now that I feel much better I want to start again. The point I am trying to make is that I don’t know what I should do with these spontaneous movements during meditation, I also have jaw movements, a restless leg, even my big toes move and crack. I suspect all of them have something to do with Qi or Kundalini energy because they all started after a significant awakening. Should I let them happen and observe the sensations or try to be still?

Hello! Today I finished my first practice in Yang style and felt dizzy during the session, possibly because I’m not used to breathing this way. It’s been 2 hours since I finished my practice and I still feel kind of lightheaded and also happy. The practice was so simple yet effective. Here’s the video I followed through in case you’re curious: https://youtu.be/_9D8YOSASpg?si=NpviPBSCbzwwqrKu Has anyone else practiced Tai Chi? I’m eager to hear about how it went for you.

I believe your body is reincarnating all the time. In my opinion you have existed since a certain period of time (I’m not talking about your Godself, which have existed forever, but your individual self independent from your body) and will continue to exist forever, so it’s important to heal yourself and fix your issues in order to not carry them to your next life. If I didn’t believe in reincarnation I’d probably be a nihilist.

@Emerald it’s been almost 2 years since I touched any psychedelic and I only smoke tobacco now though I still need some grounding work to do. I have random mudras occurring on my hands all the time, I let them flow while I am laying down for sleep. I don’t do sitting meditation because I am afraid of my thoughts. Tomorrow I will talk to my neurologist about those mudras.

Well, my direct experience told me solipsism is real, I was on ketamine which is a dissociative drug so I don’t know how reliable it is anyways. However I choose to live as if other people actually exist because it’s easier to live this way. Otherwise I’d just spiral down and not be able to love or connect to anyone because I know I’m imagining them. This stuff is very complicated.

They are just delusions, right? Has anyone in this forum experienced this? Nowadays members are discussing psychedelic delusions in this forum. Though Ketamine is not a psychedelic, it has psychedelic effects on some people and it made me believe some guy is my twin flame. Turns out I have (or lets say, had) anxious attachment style and he has an avoidant attachment style, that was the cause of the push pull dynamic between us. Or maybe simply he was not as interested as I was. I mixed kundalini yoga with ketamine (very bad idea) to read his mind because I firmly believed there was an inherent connection between us. This guy kept ghosting me though, which made me even more obsessed. I stopped taking psychedelics since almost 2 years and I am still healing from my delusional thoughts about twin flames, solipsism, God, Truth etc. Psychedelics definitely amplify whatever delusions you have if you are not careful.

What is truth according to you? What does your direct experience tell you?

@PurpleTree from what I understand you are saying that decentralized is an illusion. Is God an illusion as well? I mean isn’t God = Nothingness? If God is Nothingness, how is she constructing this dream called life?

I’m not antisocial, I can connect well with humans though there’s room for improvement. I want to experience deep divine love with a man however that person doesn’t magically appear my life, and even if I will come across him in this lifetime, I will have another breakdown knowing that I am imagining him and he’s not real. During my psychosis/awakening I was thinking that I am the feminine side (yin) of existence and he is the masculine side. And we complement each other and have to be together. However right now, from God’s POV, I feel like no one can complement me because I’m both yin and yang. I just forgot my yang side. Idk if that makes sense.

That’s what I want to believe.

But I can only experience @decentralized at this moment. I deeply know that this self is an illusion. Just like anything else. How do I experience infinity without drugs and without having another psychotic breakdown?