Something Funny

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  3. Posted

    I want to be able to say that I am going to do a thing and just do it, with no excuses or doubts.

    How do I get to that level where I can say to myself:

    - okay, I am not going to eat crap ever again

    - I am going to meditate every day for a year

    - I am going to spend 16 hours every weekend to learn programming

    And just do it?

    I've tried hundreds of times already. I've tried writing things down in my journal. I've tried creating goals. I've tried telling someone about it. I've tried sticky notes...

    But I always quit, fail, get side tracked, lose focus, give up, etc.

    I want to be able to trust myself and my words.

    How do I change it?

  4. Posted

    4 hours ago, Eternal Unity said:

    Nothing wrong with that. Building the life that you want is the essence of life purpose. Distinguish that from selfishness. It's not the same.

     

    4 hours ago, Eternal Unity said:

    A very sensible thing to say. You're contributing to the world NOW! By living. Think of all the simple ways you assist those around you. If you contemplate deeply on this, you'll realize that your contribution is unending.

    Thank you.

     

    24 minutes ago, Shane Hanlon said:

    Also, I don't think giving money to the homeless is solely about solving poverty. giving money to the homeless can help them feel seen, loved, and cared for in a world where they are seldom valued. Which is also a worthy thing to do.

    I think this is a really good point which I haven't considered at all.

  6. Posted

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    It's funny you mention this because all this guilt and shame you feel is selfishness/ego at work.

    True senselessness has a different quality to it. You do things out of love, not guilt.

    You are right, for me it's probably a mix of both guilt and love right now.

     

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    Keep in mind that many of these homeless folk are drug addicts and will just piss your money away. So giving them endless money is not necessarily gonna help them much. The reality is that giving a person money who didn't earn it doesn't change anything fundamental about their life. If you give $10k to a homeless person he will likely just burn through it and end up right back on the street. Homelessness is not a problem of lack of money, it's a much deeper problem of people having such poor minds that they are not able to control themselves.

    This is a bit off topic but this idea have been bugging me for a while now. It's probably different in the US, but in Poland costs of living are not that big. So you technically could invest a few thousand dollars and possibly change someone's life completely. Rent them a room. Help them to get their shit together. Maybe hire a therapist. Help them to find a basic minimum wage job. And possibly, you will totally transform their life over a course of a few months.

    How many of them would waste such an opportunity away?

    Sure you would have to screen out some extreme cases like drug addicts and criminals. But in general it sounds pretty doable. You could even turn this into a full fledged charity and then it would be even cheaper with economies of scale.

    Also, I've checked and there are only about 900-1000 homeless people in my city of about 700000, which is actually not that many. Literally, one millionaire could finance the whole thing and you would have a whole city without homelessness. Isn't that crazy?

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    No, I meant that you should be worried that by not meditating and doing serious inner work but instead focusing on selfless action, you will actually never become selfless. That is the true danger.

    You can give all your money away to the homeless, but after all that's done, you will still fundamentally be as selfish as you ever were. If only selfishness could be cured so easily! It's much deeper than that!

    I see, thank you.

  7. Posted

    Thank you for your comments guys. They are really helpful.

     

    7 hours ago, Theplay said:

    I think that if you go with your passion you will help the world in your way.

    Yeah, but I don't think it's exactly my passion. It's just that it logically seems like the best option since I don't have any better ideas right now.

    7 hours ago, Razard86 said:

    Selflessness is borne of suffering. Being able to take up the cross (burden) of others as your own. However this is not sustainable, as the law of reality is everything is love. What does that mean? Any form of control that is exerted is unsustainable by default, so as a result you would need to love suffering to sustain that as a way of life.

    What would that mean? That you wouldn't perceive suffering as suffering, to the outside world you would be suffering, but from your vantage point you would be experiencing love. A couple of things.

    How do you learn to love suffering?

    7 hours ago, Razard86 said:

    1. You will always be selfish as long as you are finite, you take up space for crying out loud THAT IS SELFISH!!! LOL.

    2. The key is to become able to be both attached and detached at the same time. This means you have something you wish to perform (attached) but you do not care whether it is achieved or not. If you do care whether it is achieved by default you will push, and force to get it done reactively. This will put you in a position where there will be push back against your push. 

    3. A huge aspect of selflessness is patience, the ability to be silent, and the ability to not be heard at all. You could desire to speak to someone and intuit that they would rather be heard than listen. Instead of pushing your agenda you stay silent and let them talk their behind off. Over time an openness to your message could appear, this is where you drop the seed of truth, and no matter what disagreement they have after that you do not argue. Why? Because that seed which has bypassed their defenses will do its work. 

    The key is to flow, rather than force. This has been confirmed in my own direct experience. It's not always easy, but as long as you are in flow you are not stuck in ego. In the words of Bruce Lee "Be like water my friend."

    Flow not push. Sounds easier said than done, but I get what you are talking about. How do you live in a flow? Are there any actions that help you get on track with it. Like let's say you wake up and want to live that day in a flow, what do you do?

     

    5 hours ago, Shane Hanlon said:

    Firstly true selflessness is not about which actions you do or do not do. Rather focus on the place you are coming from when you take action. Practice acting out of love and checking in with yourself throughout the day. Practice complimenting people simply because you want to make their day better. Selflessness is simple. It can be expressed in every moment. It could just be a smile.

    When you grow into a healthy competent person yourself, Love and selflessness exude naturally.

    Meditate. Grow a greater understanding of reality, selflessness, and love. With deeper understanding selflessness also begins to exude naturally.

    Be deeply present with others. People want to feel seen and heard more than almost anything. They want to connect. People have told me before that it feels like they are the only person in the world when they are with me.

     

    Learn to be radically empathetic. Caring about others' perspectives as much as you care about your own is selfless. Understand that everybody is trying their best to live a happy life. No one likes being unhappy. But people get lost and confused. Life is hard! Notice that Love can help bring them back. People need to feel loved. Love melts all problems. Learn to love others for no reason at all.

    Thank you that's great life advise.

     

  9. Posted

    @Leo Gura

    I know the example I gave might sound corny but I brought it up because I've literally passed by an old grandma like that a few days ago. She looked really bad  was walking by pulling her legs, in half put on sneakers, behind her. While holding a cup in front of her.

    And I didn't give her even a coin or something. Just lowered my eyes down and passed by like everyone else. And gave myself a bunch of excuses like: "I need money for myself right now since I need to invest them into my own development" or "Now is not the right time" and such.

    And sure, on one hand giving half of my salary away is foolish and you can't help everyone in the world anyway. But then, doing it at least once wouldn't kill me. Or maybe not even half. A third, or a fourth is still nice. But I can't do even that. Because selfishness kicks in and excuses come up. Also, where do you draw a line and decide whether you are doing enough or not?

    And, this is just an example. It's not like this is an isolated case where I am especially selfish or something. I can be selfish and petty in all areas of my life.

     

    10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    You should be worrying about the opposite.

    You mean not putting enough effort into a spiritual practice and running around doing stuff in the world instead?

  11. Posted

    i actually planned to start this journal with one amazing album but I've just watched the "Green Mile", and remembered this song, and just couldn't not post it here.

     

    Самый счастливый человек на земле

    В нищете, и в тоске, и в любой большой беде
    Сыщутся те, кто на волоске: кому ещё хуже, чем тебе
    И когда твоя жизнь превращается в ад и меркнет солнца свет,
    Знай, что нет никого счастливей тебя на лучшей из планет!

    Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова,
    Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя!
    Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё!
    Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё!

    Ну вот например:
    Вспомни Джона Коффи из "Зелёной мили"
    Вспомнил? Да-да, его там поджарили
    Так вот, когда тебе плохо, думай об этом фильме (Ага!)
    В отличие от тебя, мудак, Джона реально жаль нам

    Всё время ноешь (Как баба!), что-то не получается,
    А ты вот смог бы вылечить (А?) Тому Хэнксу яйца?
    А Джон Коффи смог (Красава!), но всем было пофиг (Ага!),
    И это не спасло (Увы) Джона Коффи!

    Справедливости нету, бро, се ля ви!
    Подотри сопли, давай без обид
    В этом мире сильных и так не осталось,
    Давай как-нибудь сам, не трать силы на жалость,
    Не трать силы на жалость!

    Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова,
    Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя!
    Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё!
    Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё!

    Так вот, когда тебе плохо, всегда есть те, кому хуже:
    У них проблемы с регистрацией, наркотиками, оружием
    А ты вот сидишь дома и плачешь, что никому не нужен (Как баба!)
    Выйди, сука, на улицу и посмотри, что там снаружи! (А там:)

    Шестилетнему Паше не продают портвейн (Правда?),
    Он сидит в подвале и нюхает клей (Наркоман!)
    До его проблем мамаше дела нет,
    Потому что ей (Шлюха! А-а-а!) шестнадцать лет

    Посмотри на себя и других со стороны,
    Сколько раз слово "Я" в сутки произносим мы?
    Задыхаясь от крохотных неудач и смешных проблем,
    Помни, что никого счастливей тебя нет на всей Земле

    Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова,
    Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя!
    Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё!
    Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё!

    Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова,
    Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя!
    Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё!
    Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё!

    Кого-нибудь ещё
    Кого-нибудь ещё
    Кого-нибудь ещё

    Comments

    I often whine about really small, silly problems and pity myself over nothing. I am too self centered in general: me, me, me, me...

    This song is a nice reminder to stop worrying about your own little petty issues and focuse on what matters.

    "As long as you have arms and legs, and a head on you shoulders,
     While you're still good for something, stop feeling sorry for yourself!
     You are young and free, which means you have everything that you need!
     While you're good for something, pity someone else!"

  14. Posted

    I've just watched the movie "Green Mile" for the first time, and I am not going to lie, I got really inspired by it, and especially by John Coffey of course.

    So my question is, how do you become more selfless. And I don't mean just feeling selfless, I mean acting more selflessly in the world. Or what actions do you need to take to become a more selfless person.

    For example, I've started learning web development this year. But I do it mainly for selfish reasons. I want to earn more money, I want to have more freedom, independence, ability to build the kind of life I want to build.

    But is this the best way for me to serve in this world? Am I just being lazy and cowardly and am taking a lame, uncreative, passive path forward in life?

    Sure I could say that I am in the phase of developing myself, and need to focus on that first, and I can be selfless and contribute to the world afterwards. But is it actually true or am I just bullshitting myself?

    You could also say that I can just go and become a volunteer somewhere. But once again, is this the best way for me to serve the world? Doing some manual grunt work?