Rishabh R

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    1,287

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Rishabh R

  4. Posted

    @Leo Gura Is daily meditating , reframing failures ,feeling uncomfortable emotions a part of your work?  By the way when you talked about fully feeling the suffering in the video - The counterintuitive nature of life I didn't understood back then but after years of suffering and being a failed optimist during emotional suffering I started accepting negative emotions since the last year which decreased my suffering even though it still there I fully embodied what was said in that video.

  5. Posted

    I also experience jealousy from time to time when I see a couple. The advice that I can give you @UpperMaster is changing the perspective to - You are as good and successful as other people no matter what the external appearance looks like. 

    Also I have discovered that most of the time when I am feeling inadequate by seeing others success it is an exaggeration of other's status. 

    I used to be jealous of many people but later when I discovered their internal realities that their life is worse than me no matter how good they look externally.

  8. Posted

    I have a question that why do normal people don't follow personal development work and even a tiny amount of them who do just scratch on the surface of it and later call self-help as non- sense. 

    By self-help I mean meditating consistently, reframing failures, practicing emotional regulation at the times of stress.

    Thank you in advance for the replies 😂.

  10. Posted

    @Leo Gura What's the difference between content promoting ideology vs having high standards how to differentiate between the two? For example reading a book such as Models by Mark Manson which talks about only choosing women whom you are enthusiastic to be with and who is enthusiastic to be with you. Is the second one more mature advice compared to ideology of dating ?

  13. Posted · Edited by Rishabh R

    @Leo Gura How about this :

    Mind corruptible 

    Meaning - Things which corrupt the mind such as status ,power,authority,group think etc.

    Sentence example - His hold on authority proved to be a mind corruptible factor in his understanding of the world accurately.

    This concept is meaningful as it indicates how much negative influence does social conformity can have on the mind. 

  15. Posted

    1 hour ago, kbone said:

    In the exact same context, or in different ones?

    But yes, you've expressed the distinction of two types of honesty well. In your opinion, which is likely more important in the context of existential questioning or self-inquiry?

    In different contexts or more precisely in most contexts. I used to tell secrets to others most of the time but I used to not tell the truth to myself. Now I have recognized this and when I practice self-honesty I experience tranquility and peace when I tell myself the truth of a situation. 

  17. Posted

    I have noticed that practicing honesty with oneself improves well being.

    For example the mental chatter that our mind constantly engages with is most of the time a bunch of lies which we are saying to oneself.

    To practice self-honesty one doesn't need to think delusionally positive even but simply direct one's self-talk to truth. Such as in case of anticipation it is better to admit not-knowing or tell oneself that the situation may turn out x/y and it's implications are unknown.

    Telling oneself truth of the situation innerly enhances one's mental well being.

  23. Posted · Edited by Rishabh R

    I contemplated for 30 minutes - How do I stay grounded in my life ? I got these answers. 
    1.By realising that nothing can affect me unless I let it
    2.By realising that life has ups and downs
    3.By stop paying attention to what has gone wrong and realising that I can make things right
    4.By neither getting overexcited nor overwhelmed or discouraged
    5.By holding onto internal existence and aliveness
    6.By neither magnifying adversity nor happy situations nor diminishing their impact
    7.By focussing internally
    8.By not thinking that other's are superior,inferior to me but rather different from me
    9.By realising that my life will move forward no matter what

    Thank you guys.

  25. Posted

    As I completed my masters degree in college ,I had flashbacks of painful memories where I was disrespected, treated inferiorly , faced social as well as romantic rejections.

    However, those memories are begining to fade.

    For example when I used to join Google meet for just interacting with friends from the earlier days of my college. I was treated inferiorly by girls because I didn't used to talk about adult content, sex etc. openly.Boys in the call made remarks such as they will have sex with my future wife. They bullied me. After Google meet I used to feel some sort of pain in my head. Around the same time I watched actualized.org's video - How modern branding exploits you and then I told them to not to call me for joining the video call. I had a bit of argument with that girl who initiated bullying me. However, after that they never called me for joining a Google meet.

    I also told the other girl later I mean past 2-3 years that I was hurt and then she said sorry.

    After we transitioned to offline , I had to leave my hometown to relocate to other city. I was literally shocked when I reached college. 

    I saw many relationships in my life but at the age of early 20s people were getting intimate and at the level which I was never exposed to.

    It also made me super jealous as I never had a girlfriend despite hitting on girls since my school days.

    I also experienced people saying to me that - You don't have the capability to get a girlfriend.

    Guys manipulated me by threatening me , treating me badly in front of girls etc.

    While I saw guys going from one girlfriend to other and girls also similar.

    I was extremely jealous. So I began approaching girls in my campus and approached 58 girls. I found that few were interested to talk to me. 

    I stopped when a guy threatened me for approaching or talking to his girlfriend. He abused me.

    In my college I was also amazed that guys and girls used to smoke cigerette. However, I never smoked or drank.

    My friends used to laugh at me watching self-improvement videos and at my contemplation answers which were written in my diary.

    Leo was right, in his avoidance of truth video. People will not take you kindly when you are facing truth , even relative truth . They are going gaslight you and pull you into their fantasy and their delusions like crabs in a bucket.

    As per girls, tiny amount of them treated me fairly while most of them first rejected me and then dated someone else. 

    They used to call me in their hostel room and say that they have girls in their life and brag about their dating accomplishments while cautioning me to not to talk to girls.

    What I learned: Learn to walk away from people who don't respect you or who talk rudely to you. Be it guy or girl.

    By the way not everything which happened was negative . Yes I didn't get a beautiful girlfriend which I wanted but here are some of the positives:

    -I didn't fail in any of my college papers(I studied engineering)

    -I read 11 self-help and philosophy books in an year or little bit more

    -I increased my meditation capability from 1 minute to 20 minutes

    -I learned acceptance of negative emotions which used to bring smile to my face in the midst of suffering

    -Failures rarely affect me these days as I learned and practiced growth mindset

    -I learned to walk away from disrespectful people 

    -I learned that most people show their accomplishments in life not their failures which is opposite of authenticity

    Finally, I am trying to internalise this perspective for overcoming jealousy - It doesn't matter what other's are doing what matters is weather I am taking action or not.

    Thank you.