Miguel1

Way to hijack a thread. Sorrey OP!

Correct. Butterfly in stomach feeling is actually your body responding in fight or flight mode. Passion based on real alignment in values and compatibility is where real beauty lies. Unfortunately, most people are too immature to value that, and chase novelty, excitement and fast passion.

I only got into MBTI like 3-4 years ago. And I have not studied ESFJs to the point where I could even identify them. But I've gotten mogged by some of these extroverted types, yes. For me, I am mostly detached from people as well. But if it is a serious, monogamous relationship, it better be fucking deep. Otherwise what is the point? I can have 10 fuckbuddies, friends with benefits whatever. They dont satisfy me, and they waste my time. I am not satisfied by shallow relationships, where we watch movies 2 evenings a week. What a waste of time! I rather spend that time building something deep via my life purpose.

Good question. I started my pick up journey as a blue pilled guy, like virtually all of us. I just wanted to find the one, but quickly got my heart destroyed, then got into game and female psychology. The desire for true love was always there but 1. it came from deep lack, immaturity and scarcity and 2. I got heavily into pick up to protect my heart from ever breaking so badly again. That's when I truly entered my devil phase. After my first 2 relationships, before entering my 3rd I was already quite the devil. I was with my 3rd gf for 3 years. After breaking up from that, instead of facing the pain, I completely drowned myself in girls. I was 23-24 at this point. Man, in 1 year, I had sex with easily over 100 girls. I lost count along the way but it was almost a full-time job. I was working evening shifts so I could hit the club 3-4 times a week. My game basically got so good at this point, that I was easily having sex with 2-3 new girls a week. It was just extremely time-consuming. After 8 months or so of doing that, I got so sick of it, and then covid hit, which actually was a complete blessing for me, as it forced me to finally face myself and my heartbreak from my 3rd relationship. After covid, I came out a new man, I had learned to finally be with myself, and to enjoy my own company without having to run away from myself chasing pussy. I went to a cruise where there wasn't many people around. I met one of the only beautiful girls there and turns out she had a boyfriend so I was like well, what to do, lets drop game and lets just befriend her. We connected and shared our lives for 3 hours, a smaller form of what I described in another comment yesterday. After few hours of that, she drops the bomb: "so we are having a phase with my boyfriend where I am allowed to explore my sexuality ((with girls))". Anyway, one thing lead to another and I had the best sex out of that 100 girls, BY FAR. I made love to this girl like I truly fucking cared, and it was a holy experience, rather than previously using the girls just to run away from myself and to feed my ego. That was the moment that got me to finally accept: "holy shit, pick up won't do it for me anymore, and I need serious connection with a special girl". So I went full circle back to looking for that special girl, but this time with 1. abundance and 2. not afraid to have my heart broken. But. I was still immature as I was very young. Met my last girlfriend and was with her for 5 years. It was a beautiful relationship, with lots of unconsciousness and hardships. But I was more truthful and honest than I had ever been with anyone, by far. I had always seen honesty and openness as key things in relationships, but during that relationship, I really learned the importance of it. We parted ways 6 months ago due to finally accepting that we are very different people and not compatible. I matured in that 5 years 10 times more than I matured in the previous 25 years. It was also 5 years of heavily studying Leo, whereas before that I had not started studying Leo. Leo directly affected that break up, for sure. I am grateful as it would have otherwise taken 10 years. It should have been 3 years max, but I was still too naive and immature. I've learned so much from that relationship, and I am ready for a more mature version of that.

Leading is another thing I enjoy highly. And not only sexully but leading people in general. Men here in Finland are typically such wimps, that in the pua community they say that Helsinki is full of beautiful blondes and no men. The culture here is very biased towards listening to authority, which has its own beauty because Finland is probably the least corrupted country politically, in the whole world. But that means that in social settings, it usually has to be me to step up and lead, which I enjoy a lot.

@Ulax is correct here. Serious game is very niche. Extremely hardcore. It’s only for the few. Honestly I don’t know if I could have handled game if I didn’t have all the unfair advantages you can pretty much have in socializing, including natural high ambition.

That’s the only way you have real intimacy. Later on it isn’t about wild hormones going crazy, but rather real love and partnership towards each other, based on full trust, loyalty, friendship + romance. The exciting, hormonal stuff is not sustainable, nor real intimacy. It is what immature and unconscious people chase.

Pickup was my food back when I was a complete devil. You have no idea what an extremely selfish version of a good-looking (exotic as well, as I am in an extremely white-skinned country, where they look at tan like a God-given gift, no kidding, and I have it naturally) manipulative, highly charismatic ENFJ is capable of, when it comes to attracting girls. And did I mention being the top street/hip hop dancer in the country? Back then it was also all about 18-22 year old girls, who believed any bullshit you told them, as long as they were attracted to you. But now it is exhausting. My results suffers a ton as I go almost immediately into screening the girl for her quality and depth, and "game" her on the premise that she can and see the value of a consciously behaving man. My "results" have almost dropped to zero. But I see absolutely no point chasing pussy for the sake of pussy at this point. I rather spend my time finding that rare gem. It's a matter of opportunity cost, as time is scarce for me right now. If we have no potential for a healthy, long-term relationship based on truth and honesty, what is the point to waste even a minute further on it?

I was talking about normal social settings, which is basically every social setting. I have yet to find a social place where I can be more my deeper self. Perhaps there are these more spiritual places and events, but gosh the ones I've been to, they can get hella annoying as people there are mostly delusional in Lala-spiritual land. I was annoyed by this when I was last in spiritual events which was 5 years ago (and these were not mainstream spiritual events). I couldn't have a fucking normal conversation with these people. Now, as my development is like 5X higher than then, I will not be able to stand them one inch. And yeah, if this forum was just one of another social place, I wouldn't be here. Why socialize online when I can do it in real life. This is the only place where I can pretty much show 95% of myself and my thoughts, purely as they are (which I deeply crave in real life, and this will never be the same as real life, but will do for now ((read my above post why this is so important for me, I totally need to be an open-book. That is core to my personality. I absolutely hate pretending, hiding, dumbing down, lying, manipulating, misleading etc. things that socializing with most people requires)). Especially as people in my real life should not be able to find me here, unless they are into this work -- in which case, there are no problems. That last paragraph was hard to write, bear with me. I gotta rush to sleep, it's late and I need to wake up early. Thanks guys for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings. Means a lot to me, if that hasn't become clear yet, haha. Good night ❤️

Thank you! On my laptop now, so I will write a more in-depth answer. I have to mention now tho as I just recalled it. One of my main drives as ENFJ is Social Harmony. I get immense joy if I can provide harmony into a social environment. Usually into a smaller group as that is easier to do and more intimate -- but I do love myself a big social event where I am in the middle of organizing and making sure everyone is having a good time and is in a loving mental space. Honestly, in recent years I've contemplated deeply that one of my main reasons I got into spirituality was precisely because I believed that only via spirituality, can we as human species as a whole, have proper social harmony. And I was not wrong, just that the spirituality I knew back then wasn't deep enough. If we go all the way to Truth as spirituality -- as the work we are doing here -- I truly believe that's how we will find True Social Harmony at the end. But it will take hundreds and thousands of years yet. Don't get me wrong, most of those times I like to be by myself too. Rarely do I find a person I actually want to be properly intimate with, vulnerable and open up fully (or even half-way) to. That's the thing. As I said in my original comment, unfortunately having true depth is virtually impossible with most people, as they are not interested in that. When I say depth, I want to truly penetrate the other person, on a body-mind-soul level. I want to know how they REALLY, AUTHENTICALLY (and not some BS socially correct answer that they answer unconsciously, and have so for a million times) feel and think about important topics in life: meaning of life for them, what are their biggest dreams and goals, what kind of a person they truly are: their values, their personality traits, weaknesses and strengths. What is their level of empathy and moral development? What are they most afraid and scared of? What do they deeply desire, want and need in a romantic partner? What kind of friends do they have? Why did they break up from their last relationship and what did they learn from it? How self-aware are they? How aware are they of their self-deceptions, biases, assumptions and judgements? What is their cognitive development? How in touch with their emotions are they? Do they have the ability to open up and be vulnerable? Are they overly emotional? Can they regulate their own emotions? Just to give you an idea of depth. Of course this is found out in a beautiful way, mutual way, mixed with laughter, happiness, nostalgia, bittersweetness, warm hugs, perhaps some tears of sorrow and joy as well -- and not in an interviewy way. If a girl is able to go deep with me, she will experience depth no other guy can give her, not in a million years. We will know each other like we know ourselves. I will not be satisfied with less. It will be based fully on honesty, openness, and truth. I want to deeply penetrate their soul and I will be a complete open-book to them. Very ENFJ like actually. This is literally definition of how ENFJs work in relationships.

I do recharge when I socialize but the caveat is that the more I mature, the less I need it for recharging. ENFJ’s dominant function is extraverted feeling and second introverted intuition. The more I mature, the more introverted intuition becomes dominant. Getting in touch with that side of me has always felt like ’going back home’. It is the side of me where my depth arises. Otherwise I am just a shallow, charismatic, witty guy. Now to answer your question: I get energy from coming into a room and brightening the whole environment. Probably my looks (but also presence, the way I carry myself) affects a lot how others’ energy changes when I enter their presence, and their shift in energy affects my behaviour, which then further affects their energy and then my behaviour.. so basically me lifting everyone’s mood makes me energized.. Top that with my wittyness, ability to tease and flirt (or not) and it’s a lot of fun. But I do notice that after the initial stage of superficial level socializing (all fun and games), my introverted intuition does come out and then I crave to connect with the person deeper. If it only stays at the superficial level, I quickly lose the recharging. The issue is, most people are not capable of, nor interested in deeper connection. At least in typical places I meet people. Logistics are everything. I’ve come to notice that I am much more in social mood in the beginning of the day when I’m fresh and well rested. During evenings and especially nights, I really crave depth and intimacy.. and feel much more into melancholicness. —— Don’t have time to read through and fix the text now.

Yes, I am ENFJ. 8w3 Ennegram. I’ll answer you and @bazera in my next comment as I cant quote both of you on phone.

This is why I’ve learned to value and try to focus more on finding introverted girls to date. Extroverts are wild monkeys.

Story of my life. Like.. everything here, how do you describe me so well When I hang out with my friends, I literally have to tell them: ”Don’t let me talk or I will go on forever!”

Do you know how to sing? For some reason when I imagine you singing, it sounds a bit like.. a small but fierce dinosaur singing.. Maybe it’s the kangaroos..