vishnusavestheday

After discovering my late-diagnosis Autism, everything fell into place. Leo's videos are equally appealing to closeted and non-closeted Autistic people, because Autism is essentially infinite consciousness of Self. I am very thankful to be born as the person I am, with the parents I have who never diagnosed me, and to have learned quite a little and a lot from Actualized.org and Leo. I eventually fell out of ways with God Realization before I realized I was Autistic, but after I realized I was Autistic, those states of consciousness became immediately available again in my sober state, waiting for me as if I've never left. Now I'm done with metaphysics. I'm moving on to my material life.

I'm so glad I quit listening to every spiritual teacher. At 24 years old, I recently diagnosed myself with Autism, because of how delusional I've always been. And my Ulcerative Colitis flare immediately stopped. Drugs are so masturbatory. I stopped doing drugs months ago. Speaking of masturbation, I stopped masturbating 41 days ago too and quit porn to only focus on pro-social sexual endeavors. To treat my innervated penile spasms, I use a penis pump 5-6x a week. Anti-social endeavors such as masturbation are suboptimal and do not enrich the self. We need to be creative to be pro-social in a connecting world. I am so happy that I'm actually Autistic. You have no idea how closeted I had felt my entire life. So many individuals think Autism is a meme or an RFK Jr. inside joke. It's real. It's the quintessential blessing and curse. I even tried to think I was queer, a psychopath, a sociopath, etc. Because of my Autism I kept anticipating possibilities. Spiritual cultures have tried to cultivate Autism for centuries. Look at all the Sadhus and you'll notice how they are stimming constantly, people think they are so equanimous in spiritual ecstasy. Believers are just overhyping meeting an Autistic man and revering him like a cat. Stop taking drugs! Just have unlimited Autism on me. The Autistic internet is so funny too! Nobody will ever have as much fun in my body as me on Autism! Thanks Leo! You were just as unhelpful as everyone else in my life! But I like Autism more than any state of consciousness will have power over me!

I've been re-reading "No More Manifestos" by Eisel Mazard and I've found it to have many appealing qualities. I've found many insights meaningful, as I'm going over it in pen upon this second read. For precisely the reasons that many of you may find yourselves disillusioned by social movements, politics, and philosophy, this critical writing examines how people should create actual change -- not to something knowable, but to a future that is unknowable. Mazard is an atypical nihilistic atheist who takes a strong Aristotelian stance towards government and positive change. His point of view at first seems semantic, but through his book, he begins to illustrate problems with modern idealism in the university system, the mythology of government, and a realistic view of humanity stumbling through history without clear victories. Mazard describes himself as an elitist, dissident intellectual after spending a lifetime studying ancient Buddhism, political science, and Asian history. Aside from history, "No More Manifestos" also examines police brutality, idealistic sentiments today surrounding the rule of law, and disillusionment of erroneous attitudes towards solutions. I can't recommend the book enough because it spends time separating the reader from abstractions. I most appreciate that he makes the point to show readers that living with one's worldview necessarily involves making excuses to defend it. One of the most challenging questions we can ask ourselves is as follows: What am I going to accomplish in the next 5, 10, 20 years? What sacrifices will I have to make? What excuses will follow? What conditions am I preparing to tolerate? Amazon Page He has profoundly shaped my worldview in my time away from spirituality and religion. Mazard. has a separate smaller book titled, "Veganism: A Future of an Illusion" which illustrates the failures of veganism as a social movement over the past 15 years. He writes that veganism "wraps the scarf of the revolutionary around the neck of a bureaucrat" in order to point out the uncritical attempts vegan internet influencers have made to achieve careerism instead of social change. Veganism has not accomplished anything in the last 15 years compared to what the French Revolution did in 7. He also has a number of podcasts up on Spotify. He used to have a Youtube channel with many lectures-- now defunct.

Currently reading "The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays" and have been finding it quite insightful-- especially for developing valuable creative direction. I love the main idea of the focal essay: failure and, consequently, the very human perseverance in the face of it, is a continuous revolt against the gods. Those pesky gods that predate upon human expectations and fates, they are fools for designing such a contraption (like the boulder rolling Sisyphus paradox) because it only lets humanity become stronger in the face of certain insanity. Despite it all, humans are the most vocal beings probable of creating the myth anyways! Also, back to the insight I spoke of initially, I love that Camus had an appreciation for the themes of revolt, freedom, and diversity. Such elements can emphasize the intentionality of artistic choices and suggest the raw greatness in creating a true self-contained reproduction without illusions.

I've looked into it and have the equipment, but I've found confounding internet information. Do I need to consume an MAOI in order to plug regular DMT (pharmahuasca) or would there be active effects? Aren't MAOIs used only to stop digestive enzymes from destroying the substance, hence smoking it bypasses this? Why would I need to consume such a substance if the DMT is my rectum? Anybody care to share? Many thanks.

I've been going through paramedic school for the past year. Whenever I've had a learning crisis (retaking a test, etc) , I've consistently been able to--against all expectation of it being useful--edge (masturbate) with pornography while ingesting psilomethoxin and then figure the way out of my problem. Weird I know, but I had an insight today that I am (consciously or unconsciously) simply replaying Plato's allegory physically and then wrestling with the consequences of duality following orgasm. Which side of orgasm is the cave? Before masturbation or after the orgasm? Some people think that pornography/masturbation/orgasm is a shackle of desire. Others think that sexual liberation is the key to ending repression. Who am I to lead the ignorant out of the cave? Who's ignorant in this instance anyway? I've also found that psychedelics have the capacity to advance abstract ideas with less friction, but maintaining brevity, succinctness, and weighing words effectively is incredibly important. The capacity to advance ideas while tripping is typically at the expense of a dangerous feeling of verbal anxiety. Just my thoughts. Thanks.

Ah I see

The many who claim the flames will hate to lament in reprehension of negativity. Say, we could all be imitating some wise writer or another from antiquity that we may be reading, but at the very least we do so with the intention to gaze through the window of their process.

@Leo Gura I disagree. You wouldn't have a problem with my statements unless you were traumatized into believing the validity of yourself. Trauma is literally unlimited. Even criticism is traumatizing. We might have a different understanding of trauma. In healthcare it's a word that describes injury through physical force. I'm not at all interested in deposing your validity, but you will not convince me that we've given consent to exist in the first place. If I was motivated to learn after being forcefully born, my conditioning wouldn't grant me liberation. Say life was supposed to be a gift. If we were compelled against our will to enjoy the gift, that wouldn't let me enjoy it. If I was compelled to empty myself in order to enjoy this gift, I would only be traumatizing my mind to find callus enjoyment in surrender. If I went onto this forum and lamented about how life has led to rather miserable awakenings, what would become of it? Surely, I would get a slap in the face from Leo about how limited my description of ecstasy is being portrayed. Nonetheless, I must be the trickster in denial. I think not! How conveniently have I already postulated the notion of compartmentalized trauma! Surely I could not be in psychological denial of repressed trauma holding to the certainty of compartmentalized pain not existing! I sincerely think not! Would we at least be able to find compromise in that devilry is proliferated from compartmentalized trauma?

I have struck a deep insight after spending about a year and a half in unadulterated, sober contemplation, and I have struck this chord. Compartmentalized trauma is the nature of existence. We were born without consent, and we were motivated to become human ever since then. We cannot escape our traumatized nature, for even splendidness is in contradiction with any regret we've ever held, even once. Consider walking into a hotel's infinite hallway with a randomly generated stimulus in each room. The first room shows two masked people getting raped. The next shows an infant baby enjoying the love and quietude of their first month alive, listening to Beethoven and feeling the crib rock. The next shows a bearded Jew getting bloodied and flagellated before the Syriac people in public, in total belief that he's impregnating the souls of the unforgiven with his pain. Which of these experiences gave you your permission to imagine them before you imagined them? None of them--literally none of them. I have since walked and spent a few days in astonishment of the many woke simpletons that teach awakening can be hinted at with intuitive silence. Nonsense. We were hypnotized into this story; please don't aggrandize me with alleged hallucinations. Compartmentalized trauma does not mean permanently stubborn-- people's minds can be persuaded. With successful persuasion, one demonstrates a certain un-entrapment of the self, by luring out an innate fluid reasonableness. That being said, learn to subdue yourself in realization of the reactions you are chasing. Every aspect of your actions, thoughts, and behaviors are a certainly limited variation of Stockholm syndrome. They will not disappear. Why will they not disappear? Because we remain trapped-- locked in cages by witless captors. If we once began to act as if we were liberated, we would merely imitate how others may have appeared liberated, and that is not liberation. We limit ourselves by our very resistance. Our traumatic existence will not disappear.

i've been there... you have a fixation to sit in a quiet moment that you can't find when i was younger, i would hear a similar shrill noise when meditating you can't meditate and procrastinate at the same time. i don't meditate much any more, i just maintain communication with the Lord

have you heard of any dissociative substances? Dxm probably fits the bill most to what you're talking about...

Sometimes I feel moved to tears as an alone person. Then I feel gratitude for being able to experience such a state of peace. Frowning and experiencing validation to one's suffering is quite moving. I don't find smiling to provoke meaningful peace when other people aren't around, at least sober (not tripping).

I sometimes run 6-8 mile courses once or twice a month, but right now I prefer hill sprints for cardio because of the minimal muscle fatigue and I work a lot right now on the ambulance. I have this hill up my street. I live in San Francisco, where there are plenty of uphills. My hill is about 167 feet sustained over 0.5 miles, so I can do a couple laps up, then walk down, then I'm good for the day.

fucking read a book