POSSESSION/ PSYCHIC POSSESSION: So this one may be relatively unique to me. Truly, if there are similar cases, I have heard nothing of it.
So I had a friend when I was 15, he was a year younger than me (well, about 6 months). I was being homeschooled at the time against my will. We talked online for... 3 years or so. We talked A LOT in those first 2 years or so, shared a lot of music, and talked a lot about our shitty lives at the time. Sometimes it became pretty sporadic. He would disappear for periods of time without explanation, more and more towards the end. At the end, we rarely talked, and stopped altogether. Sometimes, I would really miss him. I think i have probably mentioned him at least once in Confessionals. So, I don't believe I've mentioned this specific incident.
Once, towards the end of that period of us talking together; I was feeling very very elated, very connected to him, myself, everything. I felt acutely aware of being inside his consciousness or "inside his head"/ mind/ etc., Like I AM his consciousness, but he's not exactly me in the same way. I am him and I am enveloping him simultaneously. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about before that, or what I said to him, but it was something in the spirit of I love you, I think. (It wasn't the first time I said that at that point.) But he said point-blank:
He said: I feel you inside my head.
I said: I know.
Then he said: No, you're actually inside my head.
To which I responded: Yes, I'm completely aware of that.  I can see that I'm there.
I liked being inside his head. He tasted exquisite; in the way that you can taste someone's consciousness directly. Him, yea... not so comfortable with that clearly; he was not on board with continuing that. He was completely transparent, like that to me. We had that kind of bond.  But mostly we stopped talking after that, although a handful of times still.
I got possessive almost by definition; it is the most literal and direct act of possession. I have had a certain kind of attitude: like, you can be with whoever you want, but you're still mine in a more absolute sense. You can fuck or marry or "be in love" with anyone else (in the more normal, typical sense of being in love), and it's not going to change that, you know. It will NEVER feel as good as me being in you feels; I hope you know that. I wasn't in a very good mood about it because I wasn't done with him, and this is the kind of thing I will never really be in a particularly welcoming mood about, if I am not done with you. I didn't say that, of course. I stopped trying to hold onto him, one way or another.
(It felt like the most natural, the most right thing in the world.)

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COMMITTING ATROCITIES//
EUGENICS: So pre-WWII, Amerian psychiatry was pretty friendly with the American Eugenics movement. Eugenics ideology was just generally quite popular in that era (including in what would be considered mainstream culture; it had its inroads which is not to say that everyone thought like this). In the US, it started with adapting the ideas of Francis Galton in the late 1880s. Arguably Hitler took an ideology that was quite common in both Europe and America at the time and took it to the logical and hyperefficient extreme. (As an important historical side note: the American Eugenics movement and enforcement of their ideas preceded the Nazis putting any of their ideas into action.)  Then after WWII, the Eugenics movement wasn't quite so popular worldwide, was it? The extremity and thoroughness of the Holocaust was a real slap into reality for many people, forcing people to face what these ideals accomplished in reality. Anyways, one of the books I was reading recently talked about how gas chambers were deliberately created not just for the efficiency of killing large numbers of people, but also very much with the mental health of the workers in mind.
THE NUREMBERG CODE: As a side note, the Nuremberg Code was written for everyone after the sort of human medical experimentation that had gone on in Nazi Germany, after Nazi doctors and researchers that had been tried during the Nuremberg trials. There was some seriously questionable research going on in the US pre-WWII, both in terms of ethics conditions of research (e.g. consent was just one of the issues) in the context of the Eugenics movement. Anyway, it officially put down the notion of "informed consent" down on paper. It is as follows, if you haven't read it:
1) The voluntary consent of the human subject is absolutely essential.
2) The experiment should be such as to yield fruitful results for the good of society, unprocurable by other methods or means of study, and not random and unnecessary in nature.
3) The experiment should be so designed and based on the results of animal experimentation and a knowledge of the natural history of the disease or other problem under study that the anticipated results will justify the performance of the experiment.
4) The experiment should be so conducted as to avoid all unnecessary physical and mental suffering and injury.
5) No experiment should be conducted where there is an a priori reason to believe that death or disabling injury will occur; except, perhaps, in those experiments where the experimental physicians also serve as subjects.
6) The degree of risk to be taken should never exceed that determined by the humanitarian importance of the problem to be solved by the experiment.
7) Proper preparations should be made and adequate facilities provided to protect the experimental subject against even remote possibilities of injury, disability, or death.
8) The experiment should be conducted only by scientifically qualified persons. The highest degree of skill and care should be required through all stages of the experiment of those who conduct or engage in the experiment.
9) During the course of the experiment the human subject should be at liberty to bring the experiment to an end if he has reached the physical or mental state where continuation of the experiment seems to him to be impossible.
10) During the course of the experiment the scientist in charge must be prepared to terminate the experiment at any stage, if he has probable cause to believe, in the exercise of the good faith, superior skill and careful judgment required of him that a continuation of the experiment is likely to result in injury, disability, or death to the experimental subject.
This didn't quite put an end to unethical testing entirely, but it put a serious damper on it, to my understanding. You couldn't just do it out in the open more freely now; you had to hide what you were doing. (Just as one example of what was going on as a result of the American Eugenics movement, there was coerced sterilization of the American "undesirables": ethnics minorities, the mentally ill, the disabled, poor people, etc. ****So I just looked it up, and apparently this was federally funded in 32 states. In California, for example, there were more than 20,000 men and women sterilized under the "Asexualization Acts". This won Hitler's approval. He said: “There is today one state,” wrote Hitler, “in which at least weak beginnings toward a better conception [of citizenship] are noticeable. Of course, it is not our model German Republic, but the United States.”. ....So apparently this continued in California until the mid-60s, well after the Nuremberg Code was declared.)
KILLING SPACES: In the early days of executing the designated undesirables: Jews, Roma, homosexuals, the mentally ill, etc., Nazi German soldiers would shoot them. They tried to make this shooting process more efficient because there were certain quotas to meet, but there was that reoccurring issue of Germans soldiers just finding it very difficult to do. Particularly shooting women and children. So they started outsourcing these unwanted and difficult executions to Eastern Europeans more and more: e.g. Ukrainians, Lithuanians (I think), and there was a special mention that Latvians were very good at performing these mass executions by rifle for some reason, much better than the Germans (it was not specified why)...
So they started using these gas vans to kill people. Arguably it was more for the mental health of the people operating them, but 1) it was pretty slow. Like it took up to 20 minutes for some victims to die. 2) As a driver you could still hear people screaming, which was also distressing, distracting because while you are driving, etc. So after this, the idea of the gas chamber came about.
When you take an overview of modern history or WWII, you learn that the gas chambers were about efficiency. But arguably it came about more directly because it put a great deal of space between the process of killing and the people who did the killing. It was so they didn't have to watch it. Supposedly Himmler attended one of these mass shootings and vomited, and then this is when other execution methods started to be considered (then they started experimenting with the gas vans). Other Germans were against the gas chambers and other more "indirect" means of killing because they thought it was weak and unmanly.
Anyway, one such place where there was a gas chamber was described (I don't remember the name, but it wasn't Auschwitz); they made it look pretty idyllic and welcoming on purpose. (Isn't this the stuff of nightmares?) They told all of the people that they brought there that they were undergoing a delousing procedure, and that's why they all had to strip naked and go into the same room. Group panic was effectively nullfied until the very last moments.
PSYCHOLOGIES OF INSTITUTIONAL KILLERS: What was particularly vivid to me was the description of a couple Germans (officers?) who were doing their job and upholding the status quo, they knew what was going to happen to these people, and they were trying specifically to kill them in the most compassionate way as could be managed under those circumstances. That was what was advocated, supposedly. "Efficiency" and principles, not rage inspired killing. One was to not give the victims any idea about what was to come so as to not cause panic or negative anticipation, and to unnecessarily prolong their suffering. But there were a few cases that were difficult. There was a woman who suspected what the chamber was for despite the idyllic front (as described above), and she begged the officer not to put her kids in the chamber. Like put her in the chamber, but not her kids. That was difficult for them, that reminder of the visceral feeling of death rather than being able to rationalize it away from a distance... And then there was another case where there was a young, very beautiful Jewish woman in her 20s (because if you're young and conventionally pretty I guess people are less likely to want to gas you), and the officer didn't want her to die, but he also had to do his job, so he was talking to her and took special pains, according to him anyway, to not give any indication of what was to come. But there was such a vivid description of that gut feeling of empathy hitting them even though the whole process was structured to avoid that from happening, and then that ill-feeling of awareness of what was to be done, what they believed had to be done. That shutting off and dissociation from empathy, supposedly for a higher principle. ....
***Side note: IQ tests do have a dark history of being dipped in this whole bucket of racism, classicism and the forced sterilization of the "mentally deficient". If you do some reading, definitions what this means is more expansive and considered more self-evident and not that nuanced or sensitive compared to how we approach it now. I.e. an idiot is an idiot is an idiot. Every decade or two, we changed very significantly in this way, culturally speaking.

Please, sit comfortably, have a good read & see you on the other side.  
Set inspiring music for the read on a loop. "John Powell – Coming Back Around”.
Do some meditation, shamanic breathwork, or cannabis before -- if you please.
The Atlantis
Your role is to be a reader, while mine is to construct these words. Inseparably we are one consciousness; one life experiencing itself; one twisted staircase to heaven. In the pages of this groundless story, I, the constructor, will refer to us as we, for we are not distinct entities.
We were born as a shrunken being onto oceanic plateaus. Around us swam sharks. Above us raged storms. Raving waves of the sea took a toll on us. Who were we? We did not seem to remember. Nor did we recall the moment of our death. But little did we know the glorious veil had just been crossed. We were happening. What was unfolding around us shaped our existence… A tenacious hum still rings in your ears.
By pure chance, stray fishermen took us under their soaked yellow raincoats. They fed fish to our starving soul. Goddamn fish! They gave us a name. These letters were a navigator’s label for addressing and handling the ever-present, nameless entity behind. Despite their gum boots, which had holes in the sole, the fishermen embraced us as their own. They became our parents. Sort of.
We learned the sailors’ way of navigating on the seas. Our voyage was turbulent and the ocean rough, but from a boat’s deck it somehow seemed far away. The fishermen clothed us in a yellow raincoat. They still fed us fish. We began asking, for the first time, who were they, really? The more we resembled them; the more we engraved their traditions and patterns of thinking, the more they felt closer to us – to a lone child once born on the seas, trying to make sense of it all.
Flow with the music. This is what heaven sounds like.
We often stood on the boat’s bow, amazed by the world’s wonders. When great hurricanes whirled by, we savored the hammering of our skin. We were at life’s frontline. We did not know a single fear. When the vessel bobbed on the sea, we tied ourselves to a handrail, and when monstrous waves approached, we laughed. We loved how the salt clogged our mouth. Despite the fishermen’s warnings, we lived fearlessly on the boat named Mist Bane, which sounded suspiciously close to an ideology.
One day, our exuberance faltered. The unforeseen adventures were torn apart by an island’s coastline. The Mist Bane was sailed to steady waters, in which she was anchored. The ocean was left behind. Thereby we settled on a hazy coast, which the fishermen spoke of as home. Our soul hankered for a voyage – long the fire burned, waned. Until it yielded to the fishermen’s game. The forge that had once emitted heat frazzled to a cold frightened ember.
We developed a framework of understanding. The ocean was subject to charts and journals, said the fishermen. They taught us about lurking dangers in the water. About inconceivable predators that crossed the seas. About horizons that misled sailors into believing a storm was a long way from happening. They spoke of hidden wonders, but scarcely. Their knowledge felt terribly out of tune. Presence of fear predominated their thinking. Would our inner musing over exploration be heaved out if their ‘knowledge’ oppressed us long enough? What if it enslaved our soul? Those questions were worth sacrificing for. The notion of cruising an ocean, where we had felt like a newly engaged bride-to-be, was fading in memory. The treasure we valued the most was lost – a bird’s freedom. Our beloved Atlantis.
We developed a fear of never unshackling from the fishermen’s influence again. We ate their food. We slept in their beds. We attended their schools. A life of disgust. On walls was painted fear. Where lied soil for a hopeless dreamer, we asked, fertile enough to thrive in? In an environment of constant hassle, we relinquished victory to the fishermen’s central maxim that stated, ‘survival of the fittest, trampled idealists not welcomed!’ We grew into one of them. Dead pigeons. Almost.
The fishermen fed us fish whose meat was terribly difficult to swallow. Why? Their bones scratched our throat. They stuck like ideologies, and they were painful to wash down, for stomaching them after would be excruciating. Such is the nature of ideology. The fishermen often admonished us for pointing this out. As if deconstructing a belief system meant disobeying traditions.
Well, honestly – it did.
We understood this: All the answers to the most important questions lie inside. We ought not look for them in the outside world. The moment a person stops contemplating and makes a statement, they become trapped inside a stiff dungeon. However, a question is followed by an unwritten line…
The music guides you. Open the door. Let it in.
We have known for a long time that Atlantis is not a place besieged by water; not buried in the ocean. Those in search of its golden pillars and riches are wailing for amity. Atlantis is quite close. It resides in our hearts and thinking. The throne is here and now. Atlantis is appearing as a written text. Deconstruct these lines. Look through the black-on-white metaphors. Feel the author’s intended meaning. You are here. In the Oasis of Harmony. What a genius you are. You have brought yourself to life. There is nothing more fascinating than experiencing this story. Atlantis is the everlasting here! You are safe. You have already made it. You are in heaven. The deeds from yesterday do not conquer the eternity of today. Neither do the possibilities of tomorrow.
From the ocean we had arisen – pure and selfless, born in a storm. We had been the city of Atlantis, a treasure lost to the humankind. Around us had swum sharks, yet the baby had come unscathed. Why? The sharks had valiantly held their ground against frenzied waves, which had struck over and again. Why? For the city of Atlantis was about to be lost. The waves had protected us awhile, but the treasure of Atlantis had emerged from underwater. Why? For the fishermen had pulled us out. We had developed a human identity. We had forgotten we had been Atlantis. But Atlantis cannot ever be truly lost.
Despite the fishermen’s good intentions, it was never meant for us to wallow under a shelter’s roof. Our home rested on the meandering currents of adventure. Indeed, on that hazy coast we rediscovered our nature. What had felt like a thousand human lives away was now one shore away from transcending. One day, we dared.
“Atlantis!” we called out dangerously as a whirlwind. Straightaway a spark flashed, slashing our throat from within. We rubbed our sleepy eyes and pinched our arm. We swore it was there, a heaving spark!
“Atlantis!” we rejoiced with great enthusiasm and eyes fixed on the sea. Our voice stirred some leaves, and crickets stopped chirping. Then: Another spark was born. It jumped over a coastal stone a few times before disappearing somewhere in the sand. Sparks came in hordes, but they died off before igniting a flame.
“Atlantis!” we formed a tsunamic voice. We awakened to our true nature. Our human-self languished. The ocean answered our call! It began just as light flickering on the horizon. A rust of night, one would say, a sunray escaping the hungry shadows of dusk. Yet it was more.
The sea parted. A clear passage emerged. It led us astray from the shore. Back to where we had come from. Our yellow raincoat ripped off, unshackling us from mortal duties. We walked there naked. We had accomplished the mission, and now we were coming home. We strode on the oceanic floor… Until the notion of an island faded. There had never been one. There had never been fishermen, nor a boat that had rescued us, nor sharks, nor fear of never unshackling. All there ever has been is the ocean. The ocean is dreaming infinitely many dreams. You are nothing but one of them, one ripple.
You, the beloved Atlantis.
--------
I know some of you have already read The Atlantis elsewhere from me, but it felt like a cool thing to share on the forum directly as well, as nobody has to click anywhere. Also, I was browsing all the industry-standard book genres and realized there's this wonderful thing called Visionary & Metaphysical Fiction. Sounds about right, wouldn't ya say? It's a tiny, tiny field. Let's go! 

? I know exactly what this programming sounds like underneath the surface - the war we are all fighting within our souls.  In 2016 I went so far into myself, it was as though existence was a deep, deep emerald colour and my entire body pulsated with the joy of simply being alive.  I "woke", and knew to create this song - here are the instructions for it:
For the first song, put it on loop and turn the volume down to 30 percent.  Don't press play yet. For the second song, put it at 70 percent volume. For the third, leave it at 100 percent, but put it on loop. Now, play the first one alone for 30 seconds, and then the second one until the second "ohm" has stopped, and then put on the third song. That is the sound of our Biblical war - the pain of mankind being lulled into sleep by a "program", a feedback loop of cause and effect, that feeds on our suffering and ignorance, with the sound of angels calling off in the distance, the divine whisper ever so faint.
This is True Batsong.
https://lonerwolf.com/archons/

https://strengthtoheal.org/understanding-ritual-abuse/
https://energeticsynthesis.com/resource-tools/news-shift-timelines/2233-purging-archontic-deception
 

https://www.brooklynmuseum.org/eascfa/dinner_party/place_settings/sophia
Sophia, whose name in Greek means “wisdom,” is connected to the different incarnations of sacred female knowledge.  
Its followers worship Sophia as both divine female creator and counterpart to Jesus Christ. According to Gnostic beliefs, Christ was conceived of as having two aspects: a male half, identified as the son of God, and a female half, called Sophia, who was venerated as the mother of the universe.
 

I want to explain what I have learned about death and the afterlife tonight - I will be updating this entry here throughout the night and into the early morning as it will take me a while to recall and put it all in order.

This here is the "top" of the "world tree".  This is a map that God gave me to explain how this works. 
What I was told is that how you orient your psychology in life is what will appear to you after death. 
Now, look at these ocean waves - looks lovely, right?  In death, you have an overlay of different options that you can take depending on your ability to imagine them.  So when looking at this, see the ocean and feel it.  You can wade into it and bathe in the light for a while if you choose.
Notice how the waves also look like a city.  As though you can decent upon it.  Do you see all the little buildings interspersed?  This is the Kingdom of Heaven.  And you can choose to go there as well.  You basically "fly", or "descend" down into the city.  Everything in Heaven faces "the Light".  Every building, every park, always - and you are free to do whatever you wish.  You will meet your friends and family here.  Your "pack".
All of humanity can fit into one city and the reason for this is because there are less souls than you would think.  We play out many different lives all at once.  This is why you do not have a "soul mate" or "twin flame" as one person, because that being - your other half, just like you, is playing out many lives all at once.  When you return to the Kingdom of Heaven, you will know every street, every building, and every soul.  We are all a family.  Even those of us who hate one another in our humanly lives, we plan this out beforehand.  We do this because evolution cannot happen when everything is perfect.  There needs to be imperfection in order to grow.  We come here to expand our understanding.  We are building this city together, all as one.
Now look again and see a valley, a desert that goes on forever with an oasis of water in the center, with mist and morning cloud.  You can choose to "fly" through this - moving closer towards an ever loving light - completely alone with yourself if you wish to do this for a while.  And finally, notice how the details can take the shape of the canopy of a forest.  You can go into that.
It is like a map - and the light extends its "arms" over the whole thing.  The only limit is how much your soul has learned to view different perspectives.  Thus the reason for material existence.  When you leave this world, you will have that map.  We will all be given a similar one, but each of us will interpret it differently.
We have "pack members" as well- different consciousnesses are grouped together for certain tasks.  Generally if someone is in your pack, you will know.  You will feel them.  You all have a divine partner who is playing many different roles.  You can find them in this lifetime and create many more things, or you can return to them in death, it really doesn't matter as you will both have all of eternity to play out different scenarios.  You can merge with them to become One, or split yourselves into many forms.
We take our consciousness, like a slingshot - for lack of a better description and create.  We are bubbles within the greater whole, becoming our own "wholes" - there are infinities within infinity.  You literally bore a hole into reality through imagining "right now".  And in the afterlife, rather than moving around- you switch through a perspective change, and from there you can create the illusion of movement.  After you die, all your fears and illusions will be there and you will be stuck in whatever imagination you created here.  This is why it is important to see through fear and lies.  You may end up in a similar place like this - almost stuck in a lucid dream until you can remember that you create your own reality. 

This is called "bardo" and different teachers will come to you in order to allow you to remember yourself.  You may run across one who puts you through absolute terror, as mine is doing - as a way to force you to see that fear is an illusion.  Try to remember that you are a creator, if you get stuck here.  The karma of your life will have to play out before you return "home".  If you are oriented towards death always, without much karma, you will find yourself at the "top" of the tree without any problems.  If you are having trouble, you can open your heart and "call" to your family to come and help you with the process of remembering.
Going through bardo is like so; also called a "life review", note how after wandering around in lucidity for a while, the soul remembers and returns to the light:
Watch this video with what I have just said in mind.  Your "true forms" - is this thing at the 5:09 point.  You think you are moving around, but you are actually fixed in place.  Note the world tree in the beginning here as well.
Your soul families are groups, who "sing" together.  A "choir" so to speak.  Each and every one of us is equal.  No action is greater than any other.  And the reason for this is that all actions must exist in order for creation to Be.  When you sing with your family, it is like a pack of wolves breathing reality into existence through the underside of a patchwork quilt, like so:
"I can't feel anything at all without you."
Biblically, these choirs are called "seraphim".  Look at this image, do you see how the branches are all connected to the Light?  With the bench there off in the distance?  That is a reference to "take a seat".  There is no where to go.  Surrender to it.  Your soul is basically made of song, you sing reality into existence.
This is me:

This is my song, behind who I am.  "You must go where I cannot."
And through this song, while fixed in place - reality forms like so:

Each of you is doing this, while fixed in place, like so:

One unified "screen" - affixed towards the light, as it forever expands upon itself.
You use your heartsong to move around and karma is nothing more than which orientation you choose to take.
And that's about it, that's all I got for now.

@Preety_India Sure, I will explain some of my awakenings about karma.
@Someone here These experiences are drawn from that place.
I might come back to this post and edit for the night because what I have is just a bunch of choppy experiences and some basic scattered knowledge gathered here and there.  But I have seen the mechanisms of karma playing out and I am going through it somewhat aware - so I speak from this place - but without much gauge as to where this would be in terms of spiritual understanding.

When I let go of the narrative of being a self, and when I face death head on, I mean, I walk right up to it - but still a big fear - some facet of awakening comes to me and I do my best to decipher it.  Some have had to do with karma.  Not in any order:
In early 2017, a quote was posted on here that had lead me into having a shamanic awakening.  I already had a few prior awakening experiences of different flavours.  It was honestly, just the basic instructions for letting go and being present, and I'd just done a lot of introspection and had a fresh slate.  Up until that point, I felt like I needed to grow up really quickly to survive, and that I'd been abandoned in my greatest time of need.  I was floating in a space where my sense of reality had come crashing down around me unexpectedly.  And so I was ready. 
I looked at a lamp in my livingroom and let go - I stripped the object of it's labels and looked at it as a bare shape - and then over at the sun shining through my curtains, I admired how lovely it looked coming through the fabric like that; then I entered a non-dual state and started journaling.  I came across an article on shamanism while looking up kundalini and when reading it, I got a 5D download into my soul through my core in the center of my heart - from something/somewhere/divine telling me that I was going through this specific initiation - and through the song that I happened to be playing at just the right time, it introduced itself - I was told that this type of initiation was preplanned (I don't know if by me or by them) before birth and that all of the actions that I have taken to get to this point were so that this could happen, but that I had a bunch of steps I could have taken that would have yielded different results.  And this happened to be one of them - and yet this was "the One".  And they made it happen.  Hard to explain. 
All my foolishness, and all of my bullshit was being orchestrated for something magnificent just outside of my line of sight, on the very periphery  Like a white slit in the darkness, running greedily towards the edge of my imagination.  I felt understood.  I was told not to attach to the label.  And that I would get sick and that it would take a while - years - that the outcome would not be known to me as of yet, nor the greater plan.  It was a divine healing energy, but I don't know of the direct source.  It felt like being in alignment, and having the music sing into my soul through my deepest heart, and I knew that I was being guided by something bigger than me, but also outside of my control. I had bought an authentic Huichol Indian yarn painting and had my dad hang it up above my electric fireplace.  I organized and decorated the top of the fireplace with some stuff a few days later, and turned out the lights and pointed a starry blue light that I had  bought specifically for the picture,  in order to give it "life" - and turned on my Himalayan salt lamp.  I smoked a big fat bowl and sat on the floor near the heater and looked at it to see if I could decipher what the artist's story might have been in the designs.  I noticed that the salt lamp ended up looking like flames from a campfire and I loved the coincidence of me having placed it there.  I admired how perfectly positioned each star was.  The lights are on a grid... and they were where I would have placed if I was drawing them myself.  I looked at the chair that the neon yarn man was sitting on and noticed a green light in the center of the back of it and I thought - "Now that is just so perfectly placed, I love it."  I realized that for this moment, I had created something that was a perfect "vessel" for God through my cause and effect, action - and I could see it manifest then and there.  My gift from God is a highly tuned in artist's eye.  Sometimes God will whittle itself down into nothing more than a tiny green-starred light on the chair of a yarn painting.
The divine energy of the yarn being then "activated" and it "sat down" in the chair and said essentially, wordlessly "Hello, nice to meet you, I am in the house" by the symbolic way of me noticing in that very moment the two purple lights placed perfectly on each wing of the insect flying up over the fire - signifying an awakening or activation of some sort of spiritual power -  and of raising energy higher; the hands of the being seemed to have an intuitive upwards sweeping motion.  Then the salt lamp began to flicker like a campfire, even though the bulb wasn't supposed to do that - and has not done so since. 
The being was pleased with my arrangement and said that if I were to use it as an altar and to develop a daily practice, that it could initiate me and keep be grounded and that I would learn more about it over time through this exchange of energy - that it came to me by me first making the environment hospitable through action based on this sort of intuitive flowstate artistic awareness - I had pleased it.  I took a photo.  I didn't accept the initiation.  It's energy was present for a week or so and then left.
I wasn't feeling well on this day.  I had come home from visiting family in town and was having a flare up.  This happens very strongly once a month or every other month and it feels like my organs and blood and everything is inflamed.  I smoked a bowl so that I could hone in on some sense of continuity, and so that I would feel more comfortable while this was happening.  I sat in stillness for a long time, trying to pull myself outwards from the center of my being until I felt like I was having a lucid dream while I was sitting there in my livingroom.  It was just me and the objects around me.  I remembered that life was a lucid dream - and I could sense the Self that always is somewhere in the back there, like an unmoving stone in fast moving troubled waters...  I could see it as an illusion of some sort.
I remembered/understood that this Self will carry things with it emotionally after I die, depending on what was happening in that moment right before.  I remembered that I had been in this "in-between" more than once.  I realized that I would be holding onto something material in order to try and remain tied to this world, possibly a phone.  I knew that my consciousness might have a hard time accepting death, and that I also might have to go through some sort of purging process to remember who I was.  Rather, who I Am... because of how much karma has stuck to me in this lifetime.  I will have to battle my imagination, and it will be as though I am in a nightmare until I remember that I am creating it all - and get the hang of manifesting a new "room". 
Something like that - it's hard to explain...  It had this sort of ringing, stinging, sick stillness to it - a floaty, feverish, sweaty space - and it also felt as though I had moved more into my soul and had expanded into the room in that my body did not have a localized point anymore.  My narrative of the past, present and future was gone, and I clung to the present moment for my very life, feeling deeply into my body so that I may penetrate it with my presence and bring back my soul in the hopes that it would never escape me again.
I knew that I would be sitting in a dreamscape of my past experiences, living them out again in muted colours as an unattached observer, with something strange and a bit eerie about the scenery - like being stuck in a film reel while watching the kaleidoscope of my life flash by. 
I knew that I would be walking through the holograph of an abandoned city.  I've been here before many times.  Bardo.  My judge and my jury. I wasn't feeling well, and on this day I had another unexpected run-in with death - and it took the shape of the open entryway into my kitchen.  I had a flickering purple flame in a tall open lamp for lighting and it created the feeling of being back in this bardo state.  The entryway was so dark, it looked like a portal into another place.  And then in that state, it actually became such.  The reason for this is because I realized that I create my own reality, that you can walk up to a phenomenon of "what will be" - and we have this in our childhood imaginations before our minds get crystallized.  On the other side of it was some sort of strong power.  Something that would aid me - but it required a finality that I am not prepared for.  When I looked at it I felt terror, because what came with it was everything that I had avoided in life - and with this energy was something akin to a series of actions taken by me and by my ancestors - and that the solution to fixing it would be taking absolute responsibility.