liamnewsom202

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About liamnewsom202

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  1. Really love what this guy does and ive been watching him for a bit now. Had alot of influence on me. What do you guys think of Jreg? I personally see him as a 2nd tier stage yellow thinker. Swapping between perspectives. Holding multiple views simaltaenously. Forcing people to think for themselves being intentionally contradictory and implicit. Holding meta perspectives. Hes an inspiration!
  2. Yupp, was about to recomend this. Another vote for this Maybe he could do it as like a anniversary speixal. Just sit down for a long 4+ hour thing and just go over as many questions and "but leooooos" as possible
  3. thanks guys @NoSelfSelf just makes me see things as means to ends, ends which never come. doesnt feel good. less appreciation and real gratitude and presence with my life. I think leos episode on needy perception is quite applicable. ive noticed how nothing ever felt like it was enough for me @Consept thanks for ur words and inspiration my man, ur appreciated. i am more on the ocd side id bet, i have deep insecurity, shame, not being enough, its certainly an adaptation. i have a hell of a shadow. just thank god i suffered enough to become self aware and realized i was love, and could do better haha. self awareness and ownership has been a blessing @Breakingthewall yeah id agree with the sentiment, i think that we are hard wired for it. its nothing you poof away over night. i dont think receiving validation is a bad thing, or something we shouldnt like or enjoy. the issue is the baggage and desperation.
  4. Narcissism is something I think about alot as I worry I have a higher than average dosage of it in my personality. How can we learn to truly give up our selves and agendas and empathically serve our environment? I find the issue of narcissism runs uncomfterably and almost existentially deep when you expand the definition of it to account for selfishness as a whole. I find it screws up my life from anything from dating and realtionships to my various life practices, music-spirituality and all. Its something we as a collective seem to strongly detest, yet, evidence shows we have an epidemic of it and it runs common. Perhaps it's in our shadow? I am deliberately tryign to make an effort to take ownership of my own which is honestly highly uncomfterable and threatening sometimes. I find the desire to transcend and be rid of it, ends up coming from it its own need to make itself into something it's not. The goal of my little video project is to take ownership and document this process. Maybe that's something you'd be interested in maybe not. Guess I'm just curious if anyone else has dug into this in themselves. Is it a normal thing to realize when doing personal development work? How can we better deal with it in ourselves and others? How can we know where our intent lies and cope with its self deception!!
  5. Leo please, would you ever cover what the Mind is? Mind at large, finite minds, tie it together with solipsism and all.
  6. @JoeVolcano when it actually happens, your left totally mind fucked. absolutely bizare dude i love it and i hate it
  7. Not sure if this is the best place to post this or in the emotional problems, or even in actualization and life advice. But my best guess is here. I'm relative young 20. Last weekend I had really profound dream. Just bizare, included some mystical spiritual phenomena, coming Into contact with some spiritual group, accessing some thing I vaguely remember as the one infinite Whole, from then on shit got weird and less personal than my dreams usually are. It's rare i encounter much in my dreams than general human encounters, forms from childhood, parents and all.. it was glowing, reminded me of other times I've experienced other more cosmic, new agey astral stuff in my dreams (rarely). It ended in me essentially sucking the dick of a shape shifting transexual alien? Lol. Had rainbow nipples. There was another human (who I knew was actually an alien shapeshifter) who told me okay time to go home, and boom I felt some sense of vaguely falling through a wormhole I woke up with trippy ass visuals and I slowly kind of came back to my bed, 1 in the morning. pretty strong derealization. I felt like I broke through the matrix, this was realer than real. Usually I wake up from dreams like yeah just a dream whatever. It was different this time, I felt like I just needed to ground myself back here again. Fuck vrrything Leo says hah, it's too much! Just let me pretend 1+1 = 2 and shut, I'm just a little human on planet earth you know?? Too fucking much, ask and you receive, careful what you wish for and all. Truth is fucked. All seemed so clear, so much less of the typical nonsense of seeking. It was all right there more or less, wanted nothing to do with it. I've had strong intuition into the shit Leo talks about, your god, reality is imagination, all is love. Had some various expereinces which seem to confirm this more or less, I have used and abused marijuana to satisfy myself with glimpses to the point of crippling derealization and psychosis symptoms, ? I use these sorts of things as a means to escape idk, the realities and headaches of egoic conciousness and humanity. I just feel this sense of alienation. I feel this sense that nowone gives a fuck, like I have lost it, I am an alien in the world lmao. Like nowones ever gonna get this, it feels like a mighty lot of responsibility, but there's a great power. Since this dream trip, I've been meditating alot more powerfully (I've been off weed for a few weeks now after commiting to no longer doing it). Giving up my mind, had a deep ass expeirnce of love. Almost as a means to escape from life. I feel like a deep part of me understands all of this shit and it's clear as day (mysticism blah blah) but my rational mind kicks in and is pissed, can't keep up and my ego essentially is trying to build an identity out of it cause I've directly seen it's all realer than real. It's just like fuck dude! I think I'm being foolish. I am finding it hard to stay practical in my life this week, to just sit down and play the piano. My mind gets distracted, ADHD kicks in, I can't put down the internet, I am constantly reading about the har problem of conciousness. Tryign to grokk my mind around what the fuck is going on here in desperation that if I just figure it out I will save myself! I feel like I'm being foolish with this stuff. Can anyone relate? How can I still connect with others? How can I better take responsibility for these realities of life? It's just been alot lately. I'm not scared of it, I knew this would happen really. I just feel like, it's alot to take on alone you know! Im meeting with my spiritual therapist tommorow aswell ?
  8. Lmao, don't do that
  9. Thanks for the replies, plenty to work with here
  10. I guess my main objection is, if there is nothing apart from what is here and now in my direct experience. Then how can I be quite confident Pierre is waking up right now in France, or that anyone else on this forum is doing what there doing, all apparently out of my direct conciousness! (I have a feeling I'm mixing up my identity and assuming the identity of this apparently seperately individual locust of conciousness)
  11. @The0Self would you call the thing in itself, the noumenon, that tree which falls in the forest and makes or doesn't make a sound when nowone is there to perceive it conciousness aswell? I guess I'm just curious what that is, maybe rather than it being out of conciousness, it is simply out of the perceptual field of my mind body complex. Is conciousness just the substance then? It can't be atoms cause what are atoms made of etc.. plus atoms are also just more sense data and qualitative experience arnt they? I guess my greatest hunch is that reality is simply nothing and the whole thing exists as that and when perception and the sense aparatus occours that's just more of that nothingness appearing, colourful and "thinged". The thingification is simply just the finite mental activity. Maybe the reason it is appearing as if there is consensus and empirical similarity and objectivity happening is because of similar limited mental structures in animals, other humans etc.. are literally designed to interact with the noumenal nothingness of conciousness/allowance/being in the same way, it produces a similar image hence creating the illusion of the phenomenal shared reality. We have no proof that our experience qualitivatively even looks the same anyways. Is my red your green? Etc.. The question of what anything even is beofre anyone looks at it completely fascinates me Man, feel like I might be making this over technical I just really want a well reasoned position. This sort of inquiry and mental sexy times keeps me up at night sometimes..
  12. @Leo Gura even with a willing open mind I find it so challenging to get. Can you elaborate on how the world view breaks down and where it is overlooking? I just don't get the whole notion of there being nothing out there outside of my direct phenomenal experience. I feel like there ought to be something out there that is being perceived, regardless of whatever it is. My direct experience keeps validating it but my mind just cannot rack itself around it, I really want to understand it rationally. Any tips here?
  13. I really struggle with it personally cause I have this deep assumption that outside of my direct experience exists something which is still directly perceivable by some kind of sense aparatus regardless of my own. It seems like our model and interpretation of reality relates to a real fact of what the apparent "things" of perception consist of. For example the toilet paper roll I see before me, it's shape and quality is all determined and allowed for by my sense apparatus, but that thing in and of itself I have no clue what that is. I know that it's there because other apparent entities or body minds interact and can pooint to the same thing even outside if my direct conciousness. I just find my mind and model and interpretation is so desperately stooped in this way of thinking. The more I try and get out of it the more I feel stuck in certain examples.
  14. Thanks for the reminder peanut bro. Was a nice read, thanks for your care and consideration. Made me feel good to read what you had to say, I feel satisfied with the replies to this thread. Lol man, it doesnt match whats out there its just like, you know.. a representation of it that our human minds which are like.. you know, generated by our brains are conceiving of. We know theres something out there cause what would all of this be if not the perception of it! How could it not be if we have this experience of it! Everything is material because, idk man. Its made of atoms or some shit, its made of something lol. This is pretty silly and its hard to take myself seriously We could just drop it.