It works the other way around even more for me. The memory and realization of God-consciousness allows my meditation to go really, really deep. I haven’t been bored in meditation since I can remember. I remember ego-death and the breath begins to feel on each in breath as if God is pumping air into “my” lungs and I’m the air.
I believe (all speculation here) that upon inspection of the reoccurring thoughts which are in discord with feeling, what would be found is that there isn’t any “unique atypical high tolerance” situation. I think you’d find that you are using the substances to suppress the discord between thoughts & feeling, and it is leaving you feeling uneasy, frustrated, unhealthy, and ultimately revealing a desire to align the peace, love, & creator that you are, with the working, surviving, creating & accomplishing you do. I feel a not so subtle “cry for help” in your thread. To me, it reads as “I’ve realized this is a fucking dream - and that’s awesome - but wtf - why isn’t life ‘lining up’?” How to “line it up”? That boils down to aligning thought with feeling, as feeling is the guidance and therefore must be abided by, must be listened to. You have passion, creativity, desire & are very open minded. What I believe is desired, is vision, to answer the question, “how do I align the infinite dreamer I know I am, with this dream, this life?”.
When in life is the resolution not “that thing” we’re so sick of hearing? Yep, I know it well too....and here it comes....
Make a dreamboard. Before doing this, thoughts are coming and going, as if if behind our head. We’re aware of them, but it’s kind of hard to ‘see the bigger picture’ when it’s not in front of our eyes. Dreamboarding get’s every thought, of everything you want, in front of you. You know all to well that thinking about doing something, is not the experience of doing something. You’d have to do this, to experience what I’m suggesting. You also know, wether you care to admit it or not, that not a one of us really ever “grows up”. We convince ourselves of this, via responsibility, pressure, deadlines, etc. We all to often succumb to it, at the expense of the relationship with our inner being, our inner guidance - that which you desire so strongly to never feel discord or disconnection with. We’re all in truth God’s children. Nonduality, yep...and yet, he who assumes the upper hand over inner being, does so at his own inevitable peril. Chronic discord of thought & feeling leads to a pretend seriousness, grandiose nonsense, resentment, bitterness, stress, tension, etc. This leads to dis-ease, turbulent relationships, etc. Everything, in terms of feeling, we don’t want. The kick in the balls, is feeling - guidance - told us this since day one. But one can get so lost in the woods, so deep in the pressures of surviving, that a rather simple thing seems blown out complicated and practically unfixable. One accustomed to pressure & efforting their way busting through brick walls, at first struggles to appreciate the effortlessness of a simple dry erase board, vision, and the unconditional love and magic of reality.
I suggest you ‘take back your life’, and your happiness - that is, the relationship between you, and You, if you will. While the materialist paradigm and the believing of such thoughts can suggest to the contrary, this place is a dream. Put anyone, or anything, ahead of your relationship with the higher self within, and nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing clicks. The spring in your step & the joy in your heart just ain’t there - and that was what “worked”, what makes it all cohesively function like butter. Talking about your light here, your joy, your livelihood.
I’m not suggesting you make any sudden changes, or that there’s actually anything you need to do. I’m suggesting that the dreamboard will reveal to you a series of “ah ha’s”, which reveal to you that your whole life, every experience, has lead up to a perfect culmination of the realization, and the illumination of the path of actualizing it, with natural passion & conviction - with a newly discovered knowing - of what you actually want to do, and what it looks like going forward. This would flush out some emotional misunderstanding in identity, resulting in profound understanding arising within you, making practices like meditation peaceful and fruitful, without any desire for substances. It doesn’t occur in a moment, but overtime. Again, if I’m off, or outta my place here, apologies. I just think you’re a cool, smart loving dude, and I love ya. There’s an “above my pay grade” reason I call it a dreamboard. I didn’t “think” of that my “self”.
Try VPN US Spiral Dynamics Stage Turquoise Examples Mega-Thread
Turquoise perspective in a nutshell.
// This got me into spirituality and personal development