Whatwhat

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About Whatwhat

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  1. I do loving kindness meditation regularly. Whenever I send love to me or others I feel strong sensation on my upper nose. It feels like someone is pinching my upper nose. When the meditation gets really strong the sensation also gets strong. Sometimes it's too strong it feels numb. It's quite useful to know whether I am doing the meditation right or wrong. But I'm also curious, is this just me?? I've searched online and never found a similar case Is this some kind of Chakra? I have no information about the field.
  2. Why does God hide it from us? Leo said 'Because he just can' Isn't it just too harsh for us? Why would he want us to suffer
  3. It's not pretty what he does but I respect him. I believe a breakthrough is more likely to occur with an external assist(love and trust) from others.
  4. @Igor82 Haha I understand that fear. It will kill for sure. What I felt was that 5 Meo is very smooth and also violent at the same time. How about having someone to trip sit you? @Javfly33 Thx. God is the most awesome being haha @Leo Gura Thx. Being Love is just the best thing... I watched your video after the 30 days retreat and it was so amazing. Especially Mahasamadhi part. It may be the most beautiful thing could happen to a being but it's also very scary @Kingston Thank you. It was always there for me but I tried soooo hard to ignore it!!
  5. I vaped 20mg and got completely knocked out. I met God. He was naked with a group of people. They gathered around tightly. God was trying to embrace me very carefully as if he's handling a newborn baby. I was so afraid of love and I was begging for love at the same time. I couldn't accept the Love from God. I was being hugged by the group and doubted endlessly... At some point, my doubts ended. I couldn't doubt it anymore. I was sure that it's Love. Unconditional Love. I couldn't believe it but it's 'IT'! I just can't doubt 'IT'! Infinite happiness came. I was unconditionally infinitely happy. I was happy because I was happy. I screamed for joy standing beside God. and I shouted 'I love you so much!'. God and the people laughed at me as if they were saying 'Now you know?'. It was the happiest moment of my life. I can't fathom greater happiness than that I woke up and couldn't believe that I exist in this realm and have a body. This infinite happiness lasted for 3 days and I couldn't sleep for a second. The next day the thankfulness came to me. I couldn't believe that God Loved 'ME'. This dirty, crooked, lazy, ignorant, stupid, bad, little, negative 'Me'... How could he possibly love 'ME????. I cried for the whole day. How?? How?? Thank you so much... Thank you... Thank you... I could finally sleep 5 MeO is the best man... The triumphant feeling of winning the LOVE is just everything. If a guy came to me with millions of dollars asking me for that feeling. I'd ignore him. Leo said it's better than the trip to the moon and it was true haha. Even enlightenment or awakenings, I didn't need it at that moment. I had no idea what the meaning of 'self', 'consciousness', 'perception', or any spiritual term. But I was fully spiritual and happy. Well, now I'm back to lazy, ignorant 'ME', constantly making excuses for postponing the next trip. But I'm sure Love will be there the next time 100%. Love is the scariest and the best thing. If there's anyone who's hesitant to try 5 MeO, just try it. Yes, your body and mind will be shattered. You will literally get fucked. But You will be loved unconditionally. Nobody has loved you like that, even your parents, lovers, etc. And it feels FUCKING GOOD!
  6. I usually fap and binge watch useless YouTube videos a day after the trip. I regret doing that. How do you guys integrate after the trip? Writing? Meditation?
  7. @WHO IS you don't have access to psychedelics because you are lazy
  8. When am I going to quit my job and establish my own business? When will the world be opened to spirituality?
  9. @Arzack OMFG Locking yourself with the timer... This is so interesting THANK YOU!!!
  10. @Leo Gura Thx man, I also feel 5 Meo smoother than DPT. I'll probably work my way up with 5 Meo first!
  11. I've done lucy many times and it leads me to a good trip every time. I tried DPT once and it was profound but horrible. It takes me to a deep subconscious mind of mine and tries to show me the absolute. But I always look away! I just don't know how to look at it. I tried letting it all go and just watching it. I tried killing myself several times. I tried listening to music. Nothing works. So my fear is about 'self-rationalization' The habit has been so deeply rooted in my system that fixing it would mean the total change of me. It's either me trying not to be changed to a new person or don't know how to fix it or both. I heard from Martin ball's video that the key to breakthrough using 5 meo is to be authentic and it truly is. Being authentic isn't simply not lying to a person but to oneself and everything... It's so fucking hard! The problem is so deep and profound... I need more practice I'm going to a 10-days-meditation retreat trying to fix it. Do you have any advice for me?