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  1. Salut, The mighty relapse continues, but I've made some progress since my last journal entry. I've managed to do at least 30 minutes of reading and 2 Hatha Yoga sits everyday for over 3 weeks. I'm doing more Kriya sits much more consistently. Content writing is no longer intimidating. I've been doing slightly more around the house than usual. I'm starting to feel more blissful too. I'm extremely grateful for how quickly I'm starting to recover. I'm a lot more competent with my work now so I don't have to spend as much time as I used to making sure I can meet client requirements. Somewhere between late 2018 and now I completely disrupted most of the habits I had built so I could dedicate most of my free-time to freelance work. I'm not sure if that was a mistake or not, given how badly it's ended up setting me back. I'm once again becoming more complacent because I didn't expect it to be so easy to get back on track. It doesn't take much effort from me to experience bliss, but I've been relapsing HARD for MONTHS. Now that I've tasted the bliss of Kriya and mild mystical experiences again, I want to go back to making that the main focus of my life. I expected deeper samadhi experiences when this year began and it's time to bring back that intention. À plus tard.
  2. Salut, This year is shaping up to be extremely comfortable, but I'm frustrated with the way I've taken this comfort for granted and plunged into a multi-month long relapse. I haven't really progressed much at all. In fact in some aspects, namely with consciousness work and my focusing ability, it feels like I've regressed substantially. At some point in my early journey I was reading for 2-3 hours a day. I can barely focus enough now to read for 20 minutes now, and the idea of reading everyday seems agonising. I had to compromise on these two areas when I was starting my freelance business, but I expected to get back on track with them months ago... This year I've basically just been a complete Hacker. There are so many areas of my life that have stalled but these are the ones that stick out to me in particular: Hatha Yoga - My flexibility is more or less the same and I haven't learned a single new asana this year. Guitar - I keep forgetting the licks I learn, and my daily scale practice patterns have remained unchanged since 2018. Kriya Yoga - I was do excited to start this practice last year, but I keep relapsing every week, and thus can't see any improvements with my breath retention anymore. Holding my breath for over a minute feels impossible. Housework - My diet has remained largely unchanged since the start of the year, but I've forgotten how to cook most of my food and how to clean various household surfaces and appliances properly. Website Development - I'm not interested in learning code or using different CMS (name Shopify) anymore; there's way too much to learn. SEO - I thought I was going to have this skill nailed months ago, yet I've somehow managed to avoid doing content writing and link building. French - Now that I know most of the common verbs, adjectives and adverbs, I learn a lot slower. I'm acting like I'm going to live forever and that the comfort I'm experiencing from my lifestyle isn't going to end. You're not going to live forever. It will end. Step it up. I want to set a conscious intention to stop jerking my life away. Re-start your daily reading habit, do Hatha Yoga twice a day, stop sacrificing Kriya Yoga for work, learn how to write, get some real experience with link building, go back to doing housework, start cooking again, start going outside and picking up litter, and overall get yourself out of this rut you've been in since the 2019 started. I don't have any concrete action steps in mind just yet. For now I'm just putting this out there so I don't let my rapidly improving external circumstances overshadow the mighty relapse I'm experiencing, which is what most of my entries this year have done.
  3. I've struck gold boyz. Mother discovered the UK's larges exclusive house sitting website: There's an absurd volume of house sits available on this website, although it may be particularly crowded now because it's Summer. Either way I'm hoping to use it to kiss Airbnb goodbye and save even more money by not paying rent. I have literally nothing else to report or journal about. A bientôt
  4. Salut, I've hit a new inflection point with my work. I've got enough work lined up that I no longer feel like I have to keep sending out proposals everyday now, and I find myself spending unpaid time going over the websites I've created and smoothing out any bugs or styling issues I come across. I've already managed to bill £917 this month, and I assume I'll bill another £600+ by the end of May depending on how late the invoices will be paid. It feels like finally I've made it; I can earn at least £1k a month now and I don't have to work mule myself with various low paying projects to earn that amount. The free time I've been afforded feels absolutely blissful, but I always seem to end up working anyway. I've sent mother tonnes of transfers this month and last month and now she rarely mention feeling financial squeezed by X organisation. Of course I haven't actually made it. There's still a lot for me to learn when it comes to website design/development and I've yet to prove to myself that I can do SEO effectively, although I'm not too concerned about it. There's also a desire within me to learn how to write. It would be a great way for me to further increase conversions rates on the websites that I've built and optimised, but the last thing I want to do right now is spend time struggling through the newbie phases of learning a new skill. For now I'm basking in the comfort that I've built for myself. Au revoir.
  5. Salut, My saving grace for when I have too much work is that my clients keep disappearing. My mother and I bought a car today for an outstanding cost of £269. No idea what car make it is, but it's had 3 previous owners, a mileage of >71,200 miles and it's been in use for >15 years. I'm journaling about this because of how inexpensive it was. We got a whole bloody car for £269. The road tax for this vehicle comes up to £14 a month. I'm not sure what my mother pays for insurance but she told me it's already been covered. So I can get myself a vehicle for an outanding cost of £269+£14 a month? ...then why the fuck are new cars so expensive? I've had this revelation with other fields of life too. I've seen terraced and semi-detached homes for rent in Wales for £300-£350 pcm. Me and my mother can eat nothing but clean and healthy foods for under £10 a day. Buying used clothes and technology saves me money and provides the exact same functionality as new stuff. Everything that I thought was expensive when I was younger turns out to be cheap and astoundingly affordable. My next house sit starts on Monday. A whole month in a cottage with one dog to walk. I hardly go out so it'll be interesting to see how daily dog walking will affect me. I'll be raising some big invoices for the work I've done this month, and I'm hoping to finally have a good figure to post here by the end of next month so I can start to journal more about how my business is doing. À plus tard.
  6. Salut, I have a really bad habit of accumulating on too much work at once. I've gotten myself into this kind of situation 4 times now. It tends to play out like this: 1) Having no immediate work to do, I send out as many proposals as I can for a couple of days. 2) Work finally comes in, but the momentum of not working for the previous few days results in me going through this work slowly. 3) A combination of old clients and new clients from the proposals I previously sent out come to me all at once, and suddenly I have multiple projects that have to be closed. This habit does have good intentions; I dislike not having any work to do, especially when my money is running low, but I'd appreciate if I stopped doing this to myself so I can continue reading books and practicing Kriya without having to deal with work-related thoughts. I'm starting to learn Español now. I wanted to put it off until the end of 2020 but I've grown sick of seeing potential reading resources for it everywhere, and I've been getting a lot of intuitive urges to start. I remember I had intuitive urges to learn Français for over a year before I actually started which is a huge source of regret for me, and I don't want to repeat the same mistake here. It's been a great experience so far. I particularly enjoy translating from FR > ES instead of EN > ES - it feels very rewarding to not have to check what words mean in English every 1-2 phrases/sentences. My main focus is still on French, so I'm hoping jumping between that and Spanish will only deepen my love and understanding for that language, especially now because I learn new words a lot slower than I used to. Alors, I'm off to get overwhelmed by my workload again. This time I'll try not to sacrifice Kriya.
  7. Nevermind. I only considered dropping the guitar because I was feeling quite low at the time, as I almost always do when I journal here. :3 It was also because I'd been working every single day for hours and hours, bouncing between different projects to the point where guitar practice seemed like it was detracting from time that could be otherwise spent working. But thankfully that dark period is over. After about 2-3 weeks of falling behind with work due to that bad client experience, I've FINALLY had a day where I get a break! Finally I get to practice Kriya more than once in one day, and just like that I'm back to experiencing really blissful sensations in my body and feeling optimistic about my life. These technique are amazing. and I highly recommend anyone reading this to either start a Kriya Yoga practice or stick with it if you're still struggling through the basics. I'm grateful for all the work that's come my way in the last month. I'm grateful I didn't fail any of them too considering how badly I was setback, but after this experience I'd never want to sacrifice work over Kriya ever again, especially not because one client works me to death. I've neglected so much to get all these projects completed on time; Kriya, Guitar, French, Reading, even the dog I'm meant to be sitting for. While I love having a huge stream of work to have at once, not having the free time to do what I want to do and conduct research is not what I was expecting when I started freelancing... Although I acknowledge that I brought this upon myself by not opting out with that client sooner. It could've been worse I suppose. EN FR ES
  8. Today will be the last day I seriously practice the guitar. It takes up too much time to justify now with all the work I have to put in and I'm starting to get less and less reward from it. I've stopped listening to music at this point, and I'm getting fed up of seeing my progress diminish just because I didn't practice that much the day before. More important things have come to the forefront now, and I'd like to optimise my life towards my Life Purpose & Spirituality rather than my old Hobbies & Recreation. I'm replacing it with 30 minutes of reading in the morning as I can never get myself to read anymore. I don't even know what to journal about. It feels like all I do nowadays is bounce from one project to the next. Especially after that bad client experience which destroyed the time I would have otherwise had to properly manage my workload, I haven't been practicing much Kriya Yoga or reading books at all... On the flip side I've seen some great improvements with my NoFap streaks and I'm able to read through French articles out loud at a decent pace without having to constantly stop to pronounce new words. I'm getting hit by some great ideas on how to integrate my new language skills into my Life Purpose. I remember I've experienced some huge emotional upsets during my time at my current house sit but I tend to forget everything so it's all a blur to me now. In spite of how much better my business is doing now, I don't really feel like I'm growing anymore; I'm just experiencing more comfort and savouring it. One week left of this house sit. I'm hoping it will include a day where I don't have to work so much.
  9. Salut tout du monde, I'm at what I believe to be my final house sit. It features a beautiful, well trained dog (no idea what breed it is) that doesn't bark at all, but instead frantically jerks its body, sniffs and snorts when it desperately wants something. Bless her. I've had my first bad client experience. It's not that there's anything wrong with said client, but the process of how this project has unfolded so far has been nothing but unpleasant: 1) They had no idea what they wanted their website to look like initially and left it completely to me to design it. 2) They of course nitpick all the different aspects of the website and want me to change them over and over again. 3) They expect me to focus solely on their website and nothing else, which has so far been daunting because of how ADHD the communication is between us (constant updates, constant requests for changes). 4) The phone calls between me and the client would stretch on for half an hour or longer, during which next to no significant information was communicated to me and no actual work was done. I'm grateful for how easy and accommodating most of my clients have been thus far, because I never anticipated how bad of an experience particular project would be. It hurts to not be able to do Kriya Yoga, reading, or even just hold a proper conversation with mother so that I can slog through a project that I don't want to work on. In this very moment I really feel for everyone who works a job they hate, or works with someone they hate. My phone's on flight mode and I'm rejuvenating from the experience; just allowing myself to laze around. There's really nothing else for me to do right now so I'll get back on it eventually. Au revoir mes amis.
  10. Met a bloke yesterday who bought an entire an entire 2-bedroom flat in Wales for an outstanding cost of £27,000. This led me to do a bunch of research, and I'm now aware that some 1 & 2 bedroom flats in the UK are literally under £300 a month - and they offer better living situations then London does (I've stayed in homes in London where there are more than 10 people under one household). My travelling lifestyle may end abruptly soon but I find it mind-blowing how cheap everywhere-that-is-not-London some parts of the UK are. I thought I'd have to travel to a different country to see these kinds of house prices! I'm hoping that me and mother can settle in one of these flats for 6-12 months. I can actually afford this using my freelance income, and I can use the time to get a drivers license and save up for the van without too many unexpected contingencies. It will likely be a hellish 6-12 months granted, but I feel like I'm more willing now to take on temporary setbacks. Bonnce chance Rookie.
  11. I was expecting that sometime after my last entry, considering what I wrote, I would be punished for my ignorance in the form of a huge emotional upset in my life. Instead I experienced a very light samadhi experience the following day, and my life situation still appears to be improving. I got my first SEO-related job last week, which has somehow led to me having an additional 2 SEO-related jobs lined up for next week. The Udemy courses I bought on the topic have been a God-send for giving me a big picture overview of the field, but in terms of application I've learned a lot more about applying SEO from hiring a guy through Fiverr to do some optimisations for me. What I'm omitting here is all the monkey mind and procrastination I experienced before I hired someone through Fiverrr. I was absolutely blindsided by how hard it was to get myself to write a meta description or an alt tag, but I made it happen. The same thing goes with Kriya and especially reading. I can get myself to do Kriya 3x a day a lot more consistently if I shorten the extra sits, but I can barely get myself to read a book without distracting myself for just 30 minutes! It's like my to reading abilities have backslid by 2-3 years, out of seemingly out of nowhere. I can't remember when this started but it's resulted in a lot of days where I don't read any of the books on Leo's book list at all. That will resolve itself in time. Feelings of bliss, love and well-being are becoming more apparent and longer lasting regardless of how closely I live to my idealised day-to-day existence, so I'm not too concerned about it. Maybe when I'm next punished for my ignorance, I won't be so complacent. Ciao.
  12. Salut, In his most recent video, Leo mentioned something along the lines of forgetting what it's like to suffer after a few years of experiencing relative degrees of success and growth, which leads to an increasingly dysfunctional cycle of avoidance of suffering where you increasingly become disconnected from others who are still experiencing major suffering, and eventually the situation explodes into a "supernovae of suffering" (brilliant term Leo!). I realised that he more or less described how I feel when I live my life now. I don't really remember how I was during my early journey, nor do I remember what it's like to not work from home or to have to go outside every morning for 5 days straight. But then I think to myself, "wasn't that the whole point of starting this work in the first place?" Almost all of the ways I'm trying to set my life up - working from home, living in a van, having a daily routine that works better when I'm isolated, not eating out ever, not engaging with any sort of social dynamics, not daring to live on my own and get roommates, mostly staying indoors, pink noise, etc etc. It's all to avoid experiencing the suffering that I largely used to experience at the hands of other people and the ever unpredictable circumstances of the outdoors when I was younger. But then...isn't that the whole fucking point? I didn't give up my old way of life because I wanted to. I gave it up because I was sick of the intense suffering I was experiencing a few years ago, and for a few months I was willing to take try any kind of solution (and I thankfully found the right ones). But I can do that before I awaken too! Or at least that's how my logic goes, which is why I'm setting up my life to minimise all the typical suffering that comes with the 9-5 + extreme house prices and roommates + city life set-up. And now Leo's called me out on this. :l I don't want to suffer anymore. I already have my damned Kriya practice to gradually move me towards awakening and all the other benefits of that practice. I'm already working on freeing myself from wage slavery. I'm so fucking close to building an ideal environment for my work, my spiritual pursuits, training new skills and my hobbies. I've got the knowledge of Holotropic Breathwork and all the various uses of psychedelics on deck if I ever want to fast-track my growth. My point is - I know my life is a house of cards. I'm highly aware of how fragile my happiness and sense of well-being are. But I'm slowly working to resolve those issues anyway, so why suddenly stop and change course? Why start to self-reflect and question why I'm setting my life up the way it is and face my inner demons? My life is comfortable now, which I'm extremely grateful for, so fuck it. I'm ridding it for as long as I possibly can. In summary - Leo triggered me but I refuse to self-reflect on why I'm structuring my life the way I currently am. I want to be able to look at this post later with a more still mind and see what I can make of it. Au revoir.
  13. In light of all the refunds I've had to hand over to potential clients over the past month, I'm going back to learning how to write. It's one of the many skills I need to learn to both accomplish my LP and to freelance more effectively. Web Development isn't scalable enough to support my lifestyle, and there's way too much to learn. I'll try establishing a daily block where I do nothing but work on my writing. I'll leave an update in my next entry. Au revoir Rookie.
  14. I have no clue on which programming languages are in demand, but here are a few other skills you can use to get a job: Copywriting Google AdWords Graphic Design Marketing (SEO, SEM, SMM) Photography Programming (Someone else will break this down for you) Project Management Proofreading & Editing Online Teaching/Tutoring Transcription Translation Virtual Assistant Web Development Writing
  15. Sounds good to me brother. What you've outlined here is strikingly similar to the lifestyle I'm shooting for, except I'd favour living in a van. You can park it in more places, so it feels more like freedom. I suggest you also look into doing house sits once you make your Shuttle Bus lifestyle work. You get to stay in big homes for free, they're extremely quiet homes because it'll literally be just you inside, you get a temporary home base to settle into, and a proper destination to go towards while you're on the road. Once you can live anywhere you can pretty much drive to whichever house sitting gig you want. Here are some resources. I hope they can be of use to you. Best of luck attaining your freedom brother.