Rookie

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  1. Salut, I have a really bad habit of accumulating on too much work at once. I've gotten myself into this kind of situation 4 times now. It tends to play out like this: 1) Having no immediate work to do, I send out as many proposals as I can for a couple of days. 2) Work finally comes in, but the momentum of not working for the previous few days results in me going through this work slowly. 3) A combination of old clients and new clients from the proposals I previously sent out come to me all at once, and suddenly I have multiple projects that have to be closed. This habit does have good intentions; I dislike not having any work to do, especially when my money is running low, but I'd appreciate if I stopped doing this to myself so I can continue reading books and practicing Kriya without having to deal with work-related thoughts. I'm starting to learn Español now. I wanted to put it off until the end of 2020 but I've grown sick of seeing potential reading resources for it everywhere, and I've been getting a lot of intuitive urges to start. I remember I had intuitive urges to learn Français for over a year before I actually started which is a huge source of regret for me, and I don't want to repeat the same mistake here. It's been a great experience so far. I particularly enjoy translating from FR > ES instead of EN > ES - it feels very rewarding to not have to check what words mean in English every 1-2 phrases/sentences. My main focus is still on French, so I'm hoping jumping between that and Spanish will only deepen my love and understanding for that language, especially now because I learn new words a lot slower than I used to. Alors, I'm off to get overwhelmed by my workload again. This time I'll try not to sacrifice Kriya.
  2. Nevermind. I only considered dropping the guitar because I was feeling quite low at the time, as I almost always do when I journal here. :3 It was also because I'd been working every single day for hours and hours, bouncing between different projects to the point where guitar practice seemed like it was detracting from time that could be otherwise spent working. But thankfully that dark period is over. After about 2-3 weeks of falling behind with work due to that bad client experience, I've FINALLY had a day where I get a break! Finally I get to practice Kriya more than once in one day, and just like that I'm back to experiencing really blissful sensations in my body and feeling optimistic about my life. These technique are amazing. and I highly recommend anyone reading this to either start a Kriya Yoga practice or stick with it if you're still struggling through the basics. I'm grateful for all the work that's come my way in the last month. I'm grateful I didn't fail any of them too considering how badly I was setback, but after this experience I'd never want to sacrifice work over Kriya ever again, especially not because one client works me to death. I've neglected so much to get all these projects completed on time; Kriya, Guitar, French, Reading, even the dog I'm meant to be sitting for. While I love having a huge stream of work to have at once, not having the free time to do what I want to do and conduct research is not what I was expecting when I started freelancing... Although I acknowledge that I brought this upon myself by not opting out with that client sooner. It could've been worse I suppose. EN FR ES
  3. Today will be the last day I seriously practice the guitar. It takes up too much time to justify now with all the work I have to put in and I'm starting to get less and less reward from it. I've stopped listening to music at this point, and I'm getting fed up of seeing my progress diminish just because I didn't practice that much the day before. More important things have come to the forefront now, and I'd like to optimise my life towards my Life Purpose & Spirituality rather than my old Hobbies & Recreation. I'm replacing it with 30 minutes of reading in the morning as I can never get myself to read anymore. I don't even know what to journal about. It feels like all I do nowadays is bounce from one project to the next. Especially after that bad client experience which destroyed the time I would have otherwise had to properly manage my workload, I haven't been practicing much Kriya Yoga or reading books at all... On the flip side I've seen some great improvements with my NoFap streaks and I'm able to read through French articles out loud at a decent pace without having to constantly stop to pronounce new words. I'm getting hit by some great ideas on how to integrate my new language skills into my Life Purpose. I remember I've experienced some huge emotional upsets during my time at my current house sit but I tend to forget everything so it's all a blur to me now. In spite of how much better my business is doing now, I don't really feel like I'm growing anymore; I'm just experiencing more comfort and savouring it. One week left of this house sit. I'm hoping it will include a day where I don't have to work so much.
  4. Salut tout du monde, I'm at what I believe to be my final house sit. It features a beautiful, well trained dog (no idea what breed it is) that doesn't bark at all, but instead frantically jerks its body, sniffs and snorts when it desperately wants something. Bless her. I've had my first bad client experience. It's not that there's anything wrong with said client, but the process of how this project has unfolded so far has been nothing but unpleasant: 1) They had no idea what they wanted their website to look like initially and left it completely to me to design it. 2) They of course nitpick all the different aspects of the website and want me to change them over and over again. 3) They expect me to focus solely on their website and nothing else, which has so far been daunting because of how ADHD the communication is between us (constant updates, constant requests for changes). 4) The phone calls between me and the client would stretch on for half an hour or longer, during which next to no significant information was communicated to me and no actual work was done. I'm grateful for how easy and accommodating most of my clients have been thus far, because I never anticipated how bad of an experience particular project would be. It hurts to not be able to do Kriya Yoga, reading, or even just hold a proper conversation with mother so that I can slog through a project that I don't want to work on. In this very moment I really feel for everyone who works a job they hate, or works with someone they hate. My phone's on flight mode and I'm rejuvenating from the experience; just allowing myself to laze around. There's really nothing else for me to do right now so I'll get back on it eventually. Au revoir mes amis.
  5. Met a bloke yesterday who bought an entire an entire 2-bedroom flat in Wales for an outstanding cost of £27,000. This led me to do a bunch of research, and I'm now aware that some 1 & 2 bedroom flats in the UK are literally under £300 a month - and they offer better living situations then London does (I've stayed in homes in London where there are more than 10 people under one household). My travelling lifestyle may end abruptly soon but I find it mind-blowing how cheap everywhere-that-is-not-London some parts of the UK are. I thought I'd have to travel to a different country to see these kinds of house prices! I'm hoping that me and mother can settle in one of these flats for 6-12 months. I can actually afford this using my freelance income, and I can use the time to get a drivers license and save up for the van without too many unexpected contingencies. It will likely be a hellish 6-12 months granted, but I feel like I'm more willing now to take on temporary setbacks. Bonnce chance Rookie.
  6. I was expecting that sometime after my last entry, considering what I wrote, I would be punished for my ignorance in the form of a huge emotional upset in my life. Instead I experienced a very light samadhi experience the following day, and my life situation still appears to be improving. I got my first SEO-related job last week, which has somehow led to me having an additional 2 SEO-related jobs lined up for next week. The Udemy courses I bought on the topic have been a God-send for giving me a big picture overview of the field, but in terms of application I've learned a lot more about applying SEO from hiring a guy through Fiverr to do some optimisations for me. What I'm omitting here is all the monkey mind and procrastination I experienced before I hired someone through Fiverrr. I was absolutely blindsided by how hard it was to get myself to write a meta description or an alt tag, but I made it happen. The same thing goes with Kriya and especially reading. I can get myself to do Kriya 3x a day a lot more consistently if I shorten the extra sits, but I can barely get myself to read a book without distracting myself for just 30 minutes! It's like my to reading abilities have backslid by 2-3 years, out of seemingly out of nowhere. I can't remember when this started but it's resulted in a lot of days where I don't read any of the books on Leo's book list at all. That will resolve itself in time. Feelings of bliss, love and well-being are becoming more apparent and longer lasting regardless of how closely I live to my idealised day-to-day existence, so I'm not too concerned about it. Maybe when I'm next punished for my ignorance, I won't be so complacent. Ciao.
  7. Salut, In his most recent video, Leo mentioned something along the lines of forgetting what it's like to suffer after a few years of experiencing relative degrees of success and growth, which leads to an increasingly dysfunctional cycle of avoidance of suffering where you increasingly become disconnected from others who are still experiencing major suffering, and eventually the situation explodes into a "supernovae of suffering" (brilliant term Leo!). I realised that he more or less described how I feel when I live my life now. I don't really remember how I was during my early journey, nor do I remember what it's like to not work from home or to have to go outside every morning for 5 days straight. But then I think to myself, "wasn't that the whole point of starting this work in the first place?" Almost all of the ways I'm trying to set my life up - working from home, living in a van, having a daily routine that works better when I'm isolated, not eating out ever, not engaging with any sort of social dynamics, not daring to live on my own and get roommates, mostly staying indoors, pink noise, etc etc. It's all to avoid experiencing the suffering that I largely used to experience at the hands of other people and the ever unpredictable circumstances of the outdoors when I was younger. But then...isn't that the whole fucking point? I didn't give up my old way of life because I wanted to. I gave it up because I was sick of the intense suffering I was experiencing a few years ago, and for a few months I was willing to take try any kind of solution (and I thankfully found the right ones). But I can do that before I awaken too! Or at least that's how my logic goes, which is why I'm setting up my life to minimise all the typical suffering that comes with the 9-5 + extreme house prices and roommates + city life set-up. And now Leo's called me out on this. :l I don't want to suffer anymore. I already have my damned Kriya practice to gradually move me towards awakening and all the other benefits of that practice. I'm already working on freeing myself from wage slavery. I'm so fucking close to building an ideal environment for my work, my spiritual pursuits, training new skills and my hobbies. I've got the knowledge of Holotropic Breathwork and all the various uses of psychedelics on deck if I ever want to fast-track my growth. My point is - I know my life is a house of cards. I'm highly aware of how fragile my happiness and sense of well-being are. But I'm slowly working to resolve those issues anyway, so why suddenly stop and change course? Why start to self-reflect and question why I'm setting my life up the way it is and face my inner demons? My life is comfortable now, which I'm extremely grateful for, so fuck it. I'm ridding it for as long as I possibly can. In summary - Leo triggered me but I refuse to self-reflect on why I'm structuring my life the way I currently am. I want to be able to look at this post later with a more still mind and see what I can make of it. Au revoir.
  8. In light of all the refunds I've had to hand over to potential clients over the past month, I'm going back to learning how to write. It's one of the many skills I need to learn to both accomplish my LP and to freelance more effectively. Web Development isn't scalable enough to support my lifestyle, and there's way too much to learn. I'll try establishing a daily block where I do nothing but work on my writing. I'll leave an update in my next entry. Au revoir Rookie.
  9. I have no clue on which programming languages are in demand, but here are a few other skills you can use to get a job: Copywriting Google AdWords Graphic Design Marketing (SEO, SEM, SMM) Photography Programming (Someone else will break this down for you) Project Management Proofreading & Editing Online Teaching/Tutoring Transcription Translation Virtual Assistant Web Development Writing
  10. Sounds good to me brother. What you've outlined here is strikingly similar to the lifestyle I'm shooting for, except I'd favour living in a van. You can park it in more places, so it feels more like freedom. I suggest you also look into doing house sits once you make your Shuttle Bus lifestyle work. You get to stay in big homes for free, they're extremely quiet homes because it'll literally be just you inside, you get a temporary home base to settle into, and a proper destination to go towards while you're on the road. Once you can live anywhere you can pretty much drive to whichever house sitting gig you want. Here are some resources. I hope they can be of use to you. Best of luck attaining your freedom brother. https://www.mindmyhouse.com/sitters/search_assignments/country_72__sort_default#results https://www.housecarers.com/advanced-search-results-housesitters.cfm?co=us https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-live-van-travel-everywhere-ebook/dp/B0714DVK5Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549670074&sr=8-1&keywords=mike+hudson+van
  11. Salut, My involuntary unpaid holiday is over. All clients are back, the average job postings on PPH and Guru are back to normal, and I'm a lot more focused and engaged again. I'm about 1/2 way through this magical house sit. I've burned through the last remnants of my sardine supply, and I'm now moving onto getting vitamin B12 from this bad boii: https://www.livingfuel.com/livingfuel-superberry-ultimate.html My French is improving quite rapidly - I'm focusing less on translating individual words and more on understanding the content of whatever subtitles I may be exposed to. I feel like I have almost all of the basic, common, every day words down, and I'm hoping to get to the conversational level by the end of this year. Guitar practice is becoming more free and expressive too - I can freestyle without sounding repetitive and in multiple musical styles. I'm extremely grateful for all the free/cheap and readily available resources that exist to make this lifestyle possible. Including this forum. And you. Thank you. On the outside at least, my life appears to be very free. But hopefully none of you are fooled by that bollocks. That involuntary holiday was one of the toughest periods of my career thus far. I was hoping to average at around £500 a month from January onward so I could act as a low-earning roommate to my mother, but the holidays set me back exponentially, and one project ended in me giving a refund. And most of my workstreams are still ongoing! Most are basically completed, but nonetheless have been ongoing for over a month. I'm sure you can only imagine all the thoughts and emotional turmoil I've experienced as I literally haven't received anything in over a month. I'm also experiencing a mighty relapse which I tend to experience when living in comfortable accommodations. Can't get myself to do Kriya Yoga 3 times per day, but I can always squeeze in an excuse to masturbate. I'm so close to the ideal of how I want to live my life, and yet in practice I'm still so far away. Once the money flows in, here's how I'm going to start getting out more: https://www.argos.co.uk/product/6162801
  12. @Moreira God, I can only imagine how hard that must've been to suffer through, but I'm glad you're feeling healthier now. Ironically mackerel was one of the foods my mother tried to get to me eat because she thought that eating sardines = eating any type of fish... When my next batch of sardines comes in, I'll be sure to avoid anything more than 3 servings a week. Stay healthy, brother!
  13. Quite fittingly, that image doesn't capture the mountains, hills and wandering sheep to the left and right of me. I hope I get the settle down somewhere like that.
  14. I once again find myself back in London for 3 days, which of course feel like forever now. It's quite surreal experience going from 2-3 weeks of beautiful, quiet and peaceful Irish countryside, to a townhouse with young children racing around the floor above you, to a house with 6+ residents in London. I feel a lot more compassion for me when I was stuck in London now. I forgot how congested the housing situations tend to be, how fucking noisy the house is almost 24/7, and how non-ideal the environment feels towards the work we're doing here. Praise the lord - I'm no longer stuck here. I know my perspective is highly biased as most people don't work from home or live the way me and my mother do, but Rural areas are the shit to me. Fuck urban areas. And fuck all the shitty accommodations I've had to suffer through which are still ridiculously expensive. 2 more days and I'm off to my next house sit. And finally, I took this picture from my window of my last accommodation to try to capture how overwhelming the view. Excuse the potato quality - I hardly ever take pictures. It cost me and my mother £28 a night to experience this.
  15. I took the Life Purpose Course 1-2 years ago. I'd written down my articulated purpose and briefly reviewed it everyday, but overtime I started to doubt whether the purpose was really authentic to me, especially as I went deeper into the work and I was exposed to newer areas and fields of life. It seemed like something I'd put together because I was deeply rooted in stage Green back then (I still am). Turns out I just lost touch with the core motivations that led me to articulate my said Life Purpose. I really re-connected with those yesterday, and on that day there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I knew what I wanted to do with my life's work. This is likely why I've been feeling so lazy and apathetic lately - I've been focusing on the comfortability of my current lifestyle and how to maintain it pre and post-Brexit, instead of the vision for what impact I want to have on the world, which was supposed to be the whole point of creating this lifestyle in the first place. A special thanks to all the resources that helped me re-connect to my purpose yesterday: https://positivr.fr/ https://www.instagram.com/the_happy_broadcast/ This will be the end of wasting my life browsing Brexit nonsense.