Roy

15 years isn't a super uncommon age gap, but it's usually between people who are WAY older. Like a 32 year old and 47 year old, or a 44 year old and 59 year old. When it's someone as you young as you, the power, wealth, and maturity dynamics are too mismatched that the relationship would even work in the long run. Too much imbalance. There is also the factor that she is a friend of your moms, which is something that could blow up in your face and hurt your moms friendship with her friend if she found out. Don't let that happen if it doesn't need to. Now yea you might catch feelings if you let things continue, and there are already problems that could happen like I mentioned above. As harsh as this may seem, it's entirely possible you are just a young fuck thing for her. Something to bring "excitement" to her life sexually. You want to risk catching feelings and getting your heart ripped out in such a humiliating way? Up to you ultimately. You make your own choices, just know you are treading in dangerous waters mate.

Listen to this short speech and tell me if what he has said is honestly dangerous and worth suppressing? TED Talk seems to think so. Goes to show you why you should pay more attention to ones actions, rather than what they say. You will always gauge intentions more accurately that way. "Talk is cheap" as they say. Academia boast about how open minded they are..... then proceed to ban a speech about inquiry. Perfect example of paradigm lock.

@Leo Gura Isn't it being turned on and off in the relative sense of being (literally) awake/asleep and then eventually in the ultimate sense alive/dead? Is the misunderstanding making the distinction between the consciousness of humans/living things and the Consciousness of the Universe/God? A duality that of course has to collapse in the big picture.

@Leo Gura I don't get the condescension. The guy said he was a maverick and is looking for more obscure theories within quantum mechanics to help understand the problem. Even if it's under the umbrella of science we would all still prefer to have that part of the puzzle contribute to our understanding regardless if it's perfectly complete, no? You can't predict the future of course, so why so much, "science will never be able to solve consciousness because X" attitude going around? Would you have the humility to admit that a radical scientific breakthrough in explaining consciousness (that possibly included meta-physics) might make you change or reconsider your own current understanding? Could there be anything that might make you go, "oh fuck, maybe I got too ahead of myself." This isn't to say, "go back to choosing between a purely physical or purely meta-physical view", but rather to add it in to the holistic explanation. I'm not a materialist btw, before you go off your rocker about that.

I didn't get your PM @The Monk

First of all you can't truly your control your physical response to stuff, especially sexual responses. If you get a boner, you get one, it just happens. Of course there is the shame of what exactly you got the arousal from but at least now you can take a step back for a moment to calm yourself realizing it wasn't your fault. The fact you didn't indulge it and are self-aware enough to come out quickly and speak about what happened publicly should give you a pretty good indicator that you're not a pedophile. So don't panic or beat yourself up too much. Let's just worry about the important part which is asking why this happened, discover seeing what conditions might have caused this to happen, and if we have any control over changing the conditions for the future. You did mention you were watching porn before hand and there were similar positions involved, which could have been a contributor. But can you remember what kind of headspace, or specific emotions and thoughts you were having before you came across this image? Be as detailed as you can here, it's important because we might be able to pinpoint what triggered or led up to this and understand it's root better. Feel free to PM me if you wish to keep it private.

Going to start this challenge tomorrow and I'll update notable changes as I go along, I don't expect to be able nor intend to do a COMPLETE abandonment of coffee. Just want to kick it as a habit and relegate it to like a once or twice a month treat with flavored specialty coffees or whatever. Also not happy with what it's done to my teeth. I've always had it with so much sugar. It just makes me feel like shit now honestly. Been drinking coffee since April 2011 in my last year of high school, originally started because I wanted to kill mornings in high school and have something to do with my hands while hanging out in the smoking trail haha. I've been kind reliant on it either as a placebo or actual kick in the mornings for so long, because I've always had the identity of not being a "morning person". Thanks for the motivation @LfcCharlie4 I've watched Alex Becker's couple of videos on coffee a bit ago. The way he presents things seems pretty reasonable and resonates with me. I still don't really know what to trust considering there is soooo much conflicting evidence out there, I'm just going to change my habit regardless of perceptions.

So I was thinking about self-deception lately, as well as manipulation, deception, lying, using "masks" and so forth. Just trying to get more understanding of why people do the things they do, and the mechanisms of how they interact with the world. Then it dawned on me....... Literally the thing that society (contemporary Western society mostly) values and worships the most on the cultural level is a deception in it's purest form; ACTING Think about it. Where is most of the money, time, energy and focus spent upon in media and entertainment? Movies, celebrities, & Hollywood. Of course it's shifted somewhat with the internet but it's hard to argue that Hollywood isn't the center of the cultural pyramid. A massive industry and cultural center which absorbs endless attention and praise. Actors and actresses get chased around and harassed their entire lives, every little detail sold and shared ruthlessly. They even get looked to for leadership on almost every issue LOL! They are sometimes even treated as living deities. All because of their ability to deceive others. Of course you may be thinking, "Well yeah it's just acting though, it's so benign. It's not real." Perhaps, but I feel as though it's much deeper than that. It can't be just a coincidence that something seemingly so harmless and practically useless in the real world sense ended up becoming such a behemoth that domineers so much attention and respect within the collective psyche of so many peoples lives. Does it not speak to the subconscious of humanity that our most worshiped in society are those that practice pure deception as an art? Is there something deeper here or am I just a rambling crazy person with a shovel?

Certainly be open to try different things for weeks and months at a time and see how it makes you feel! It's really important to get in touch and finely pay attention to your body during this process to see what you need. Check in to see how you feel during each meal, and ultimately after each kind of diet. You want to find a balance between having consistent energy and health day to day, and also being in line with your spirituality. A good question to come back to a lot and consider is "am I in balance with the world?" A huge thing to be looking out for is not getting get caught up in the giant projection game and ideologies of diets and nutrition. It will waste countless emotions and time, and is massive trap that unfortunately almost everyone is caught up in. People go insane over this stuff, making conclusions before finding evidence, and manufacturing zealous worldviews that they try to force on others. Don't participate in that. This is your body to take care of, that should be your only concern. @Aquarius

That's a rather high standard don't you think ?

It doesn't help. This kind of work is for people that are established and safe in life. You shouldn't be prioritizing this kind of spiritual and intellectual work if you can't feed yourself or pay your rent.

@Elton Don't necessarily feel that's a benefit. I think that can lead to a lot of neuroticism and desperation as someone tries too hard to get laid. Being that horny and repressing your urges like that can make you reckless towards the other sex. It can inhibit what would otherwise be your more authentic self. Of course there are horny girls to be found but apart of their nature is to hide their intentions and not to be explicit, and men can be blind to that and end up hurting a lot of women because of being so horny. Obviously working on that stuff is better than not but I think it can be done from a less negative place.

@Dlavjr Porn - There is absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as you aren't using it as a means to avoid real relationships or sexual interactions with the opposite sex. Masturbation - Once again nothing wrong with it. Human bodies need release. The problem comes when you are indulging the experience too much past the point of necessity. Consider that the suffering and discomfort that arises is more a result of the demonization of those things, rather than the things themselves. The next time you go to masturbate or watch porn I want you to try really hard to notice something, before you even begin the act or the thought comes to your head that you want to do it; observe what kind of emotions come up. What emotions are they? Also contemplate why you are doing it. I mean really dig deep past the surface answer of wanting to orgasm, honestly probe why you are doing what you are doing. Ask questions like; - Am I able to hook up with a girl or get in a relationship in the near future, to replace masturbating? - Am I doing this because of a strong bodily need? Or is it more of a choice from my head? - Is this changing my view of women? And so on. Look, don't fall into the hatred trap of the NoFap stuff. They are a reactionary ideology from being deep into porn addiction, it can certainly help and does a lot of good things for people, but it represents the swinging of the pendulum too far in the other direction. There is nothing evil about porn or masturbation. Sex is a part of life, in all it's forms, enjoy it. Just be wise, because wisdom is found in balance, between opposite ends of the spectrum. Not on one side or the other. I'll issue you a simple challenge which I think will be attainable for you. For a whole month allow yourself to masturbate only once per week. Don't plan what day it's going to be, simply participate when it comes naturally to you. You shouldn't have to think about it. Also, don't use any porn to help stimulate you either. Use only your imagination. Come back in a month and let me know how you feel in your body and in your mind. Hope this helps, cheers.

What is in your direct experience and what seems relevant to your reality right now is appearance, however limited it seems. What is actually going on is infinity in all possible directions, in all possible dimensions, in whatever way imaginable. Both can "happen" simotaneously. How? Precisely because they are happening. Infinity of course has to include all possible finites, otherwise it wouldn't be infinity now would it? Hope that helps explain it @Yulduz

Yuval is underrated as hell in the intellectual community. I highly recommend everyone buy and read his books they are very educational and wildly interesting.

I find the hypocrisy and lengths of the mental gymnastics they go through to rationalize this stuff so fascinating. It's like the perfect case study for ego.

Yea, you didn't get enough oxygen! Be careful mate :P!

@Someone here Consider scaring the absolute shit out of yourself to change your relationship and perspective on smoking. Because whatever your attitude is towards it now, clearly isn't strong enough if you keep relapsing. This is more a blunt method and takes some courage, but you have to be willing to try radical things to make radial change. Wouldn't you agree? When I say scare the shit out of yourself I don't mean just glance at all the warning labels and recall common tropes. I mean really immerse yourself in the consequences and become truly aware of what smoking does, can do, and WILL do to you. You better be sure it WILL happen. Of course any smoker can "know" of all those things, and most do. But they don't care because simple acknowledgment and knowledge of all those things is just a game the ego plays with the mind to distract from with the problem. Having knowledge of something is not the same as being aware. People who are aware of the dangers of something don't participate in it, or at the very least they can control it. I challenge you to go out of your way and spend literally HOURS finding the most grotesque images and videos you can find from lung damage caused by smoking. Read and listen to personal stories of people who suffered and recovered, and those who suffered and simply died from all the associated illnesses. Research and memorize the mortality rates and statistics of smoking. Really sit with the numbers and soak them in, don't just look away when you feel uncomfortable. After you do that start to contemplate the future deeply and ask questions about the present and the future; - Is this what I want to happen to my body? Is it already happening to some degree? - Do I want to die this way? - Does smoking align with the lifestyle I want? Is it inhibiting anything? - If I have children or want to have children in the future, would I want them breathing this stuff in growing up? - Do I want to be able to play sports and play with them without losing my breathe? - Do I want to be hauling an O2 tank around as early as age 60? - Do I want to be out of breathe going up a few stairs all the time? You may come across stuff so vulgar and petrifying you wouldn't have imagined it. Well? It could be a reality for YOU if you don't change your ways. It's completely possible for you to change though. I believe you can do it, it will just take courage. Do you have the guts? I dare you. Good luck friend.

TikTok is another perfect example of technology destroying our attention spans and ability to focus. I'm not gonna look it up because I don't have the attention span, but I'm gonna guess Ritalin and other ADHD drugs sales have increased 300% at the very least in the past decade.

The simplest path would be to find more interesting and important things in your life to be pursuing, and with time you'll forget and therefore get over him. If you have an uneventful life with nothing going on, then of course you are going to reminisce and constantly look back to the past for joy! The problem is that's all done and gone now. It's never coming back. I struggled with this same problem sort of problem for years as well. Nostalgia is addicting but it's ultimately inhibiting and holds you back from living a full life. You need to immerse yourself in the now and contemplate the future. Those are the only things that matter. Consider adopting a mindfulness meditation practice. That will help most here.

I believe it can be a reality for some people. I said it probably isn't for most people.

@Leo Gura Well put. Raises a question though - say one slowly drops their identity (physical and others) through a bunch of spiritual work. They realize the truth of no self, they detach themselves from all needs and connections in the world and realize they are God and One with everything. Even most of these people will still probably recoil in complete fear and shock, and probably beg for their lives if a loaded gun is pointed at their head. Of course such a stark scenario like that is unlikely. Still, how does one audit themselves honestly enough to know that the work is actually helping them transcends such situations, and it's not just a bunch of mental masturbation? In your experience have you come across many plateaus that make you think this is all a waste of time? Then to break through and actually reap the benefits of such work? Apologies if this is too loaded.

In my opinion it simply depends all in what you are looking for in life to be satisfied. When I was younger (17-20) I got a lot of value out of thinkers like Richard Dawkins and the like. While it was useful for a time, it didn't fully explain or satisfy some deeper intuitions and questions I had, so I looked for the next thing. Richard Dawkins seems satisfied with his worldview and what he knows, it serves him quite well (from his POV). Thus he never changes or branches out. I think to avoid this trap, with all perspectives and modes of thought you need to just assume they aren't complete. No matter how convincing or convenient they are to you. Even with advanced big picture teachings like what Leo presents, it will have limits. Everything is only a perspective after all, no matter how expansive it appears. I imagine he and others after a certain time will have absorbed what they needed to and moved on. I have these feelings coming on myself. Kind of rambling here. I just think the moral of the story is don't be so eager to plant your flag anywhere. Carry it with you through life.

GM Terran towards the end of HotS. I stopped playing when LotV came out and switched to CS:GO for fun. Slowed down a lot on gaming recently.

Of course! Like I said, humanity is crazy. Almost 8 billion people alive now and 100+ billion before that. You can find someone that has done nearly anything you can imagine or lives a life so far-fetched it sounds impossible. I don't even know a damn thing about Bob Lazar nor have heard of him before this thread, I don't care. I responded to the original post of yours I quoted to make a meta-point. Consider you might not be as open-minded as you think if you believe that's it's an impossibility for him having been lying all this time. This isn't an accusation, nor am I looking for a bone to pick. It's just food for thought Peace upon you friend.