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Everything posted by PenguinPablo

  1. @peanutspathtotruth caught myself doing that yesterday and think that inquiry got primed by making this post
  2. Its like I feel stuff somatically and then mind decides good or bad habitually. Most of my life it's been interpreted as bad: sadness, fear, anger. However, Ive caught myself and thought how would it feel if I was happy or excited instead? I csme to the conclusion that it would be experienced nearly the same way, just my mind habitually wants to interpret my experience negatively. Has anyone dealt with this?
  3. i agree! Do this one Leo! Also the 5 Hindrances of Buddhism in general.
  4. I wouldnt use everyone here as advanced as you imagine. A lot of people here have their heads up their ass and speak this big mumbo jumo but I promise if you met them irl they could not maintain this keyboard-enlightenment persona they write from. Only a couple people here are the real deal, so dont feel too bad! Which leads me to my conlusion: Dont worry man, just focus on your journey. People can say this and that, doesnt make it true and definitely doesnt make it true to you. Nothing is more valuable than you own truth. Your direct experience.
  5. @Scholar your taking me out of context. the realization that its all suffering is a difficult truth to swallow. That's what I meant. When you first realize this or rather repeatedly do throughout your path to increasingly deeper understanding of it as you peel the layers it's not something you readily accept. and you're deluding yourself if you say otherwise unless you are completely enlightened.
  6. The Buddha said "Life is suffering" for a reason. Keep doing the work and you will begin to see it EVERYWHERE and in EVERYTHING! It's quite hideous.
  7. this. dont stigmatize yourself. try to see if you can find some of the strongest triggers and see how you can work to add structure and mitigate these mood swings over time. fix your sleep, do some research and find out what the best diet is for mood balance, stay on top of your shit to the best of your ability using a calendar, and lastly do something almost every day to move towards your goals. also exercise and meditate. be outside. drink some tea at night, lay outside at night for a bit notice how it calms your nervous system. also, nothing wrong with getting help. just these things should help immensely however
  8. Ive been on this self actualizing journey for a while now. Meditating for 4 years, watching Leo, RSD, retreats and psychedlics but I feel like I still hang on with the same people. Ive tried to introduce this stuff to my friends but theyre usually disinterested ad I find their laziness uninspiring and disgusting to be frank (the ones with victim mindset anyway). And i know that sounds judgemental but I need to find better circles to make friends and grow from here. Makes no sense to be interested in enlightenment for instance but be part of a violent gang in LA. It contradicts. Anyway, just looking for some ideas where to find people in everyday life + some venting.
  9. @John Lula you're right friend
  10. @d0ornokey extremely true. also i know im just projecting my own frustration along my journey
  11. He asked it as a hypothetical question. His attitude/cravings is a seperate thing I would say.
  12. Joseph Goldstein, Gil Fronsdal, Leo Guru, Shaila Catherine
  13. they feel incredibly masculine and feminine simultaneously. just basic "no-nothing". try to not reach for a special experience or avoid anything either. stop trying to be anything or make anything of this situation. just sit.
  14. How about the arhat Daniel Ingram M.D. ? He's an ER doctor I believe.
  15. Highly recommend watching Johnny Soporno (or Zan Perrion) for some for ENLIGHTENED dating stuff.
  16. Eckhart Tolle used to come across like that too me when I first got into this stuff. Weird vibe. I feel I have made considerable progress over the years thanks to Leo and a few other sources and now Eckhart feels really nice to me. Think its just from our reference point we are afraid of what we dont understand.
  17. @Bruno there are a couple here already
  18. just go up to random people and say: "hi my name is @Psyche_92, what's your name?" start with this.
  19. I agree. But in the modern landscape. And with school and all it doesnt feel like I can afford to live like this even though it feels healthier
  20. no. i pretty much hated my dad. on some level felt bad for him but mostly hated him. even now i still resent him. this is all "conscious aspect". I still became neurotic myself, feel deeply ashamed of myself, worthless, etc... I know "consciously" this doesn't make sense. There's not even thoughts in my head telling me this anymore. But the underlying emotion in social situations is this. This is what you internalize, unconsciously. Your scars if you will, even if you are consciously aware that your parents were insufficient. Besides a lot of this attachment trauma occurs when your're very young, like 1-3 or something.
  21. @Mason Riggle hey man. I dont think it quite works like that. Sounds like youre engaging in some massive spiritual bypass and not being honest with yourself.