aurum

Fascinating stuff. Never tried it but could be an interesting experience to look into. I'll say that I definitely feel like we eat way more food than we need. He's right that most people eat out of comfort / emotional needs, not actual nourishment.

Sounds like you're really evolving man, congrats. To deny the material is just another form of separation. Finding that balance has really become the challenge for me as I let go of more and more, and it sounds like you're there as well. Interesting that you say you were hypercreative on LSD. I actually found when I took it that my practical creativity very little. I either wanted to just sit and look at a sunset or I was being pummeled with life / existential insights. Totally in my head.

I hesitate to say any man must be a certain way or he's not a man...that's just ego games I played when I was younger, At the same time, I do think think the question of what does it mean to be masculine has a lot of value. The first and foremost trait I admire in other men is clarity of life purpose. I don't care if you're Gary Vaynerchuck, Tony Robbins, Kobe Bryant or the Buddha. Find that thing you love and just own it. I know this is at the top of my list because this is an area I struggled with for so long. I had no idea who I really was or what I wanted. Next is trait I admire is courage. A lot of the time we know what to do, we just don't have the courage to do it or look truth in the face. Next is love and a desire to serve. This ties into life purpose but basically I admire men who are willing to give a lot to others because that's just how much they care. Next is curiosity and open mindedness. Life is an adventure and to blaze new paths that means not shutting down and assuming you've got it all figured out. Next is humor. I don't think anyone can claim they are wise without a genuine sense of humor and lightness about themselves. Finally, I'd say perspective. Do they have the wisdom to see that ultimately everything we do is just like building a sandcastle next to the ocean water coming in? These are all the traits I do my best to embody. Many men possess at least a few traits from this list. To meet someone who hits everyone mark though is extremely rare. Men are free to do whatever they want. I don't expect anything from them because I know everyone is just going through their own journey. When they're ready, they're ready. Because the men who raised today's men didn't know any better. And the men who raised those men didn't know any better. And the men who raised those men didn't know any better. It's just ignorance really. Every generation just tries their best to do better than the previous. Also, I think there's something to be said for duality here. I don't buy the idea that everyone in society is going to become enlightened and we're going to live in some spiritual utopia. That's not duality. Ignorance, destruction, pain, fear and all these things have their role to play. So we'll never have a society where ALL THE MEN have the traits I'm describing. The context must exist.

Today is integration day after having tripped almost all day on LSD yesterday. This post is half purging, half me talking for the sake of talking. Hopefully someone will find it useful, but please don't take it that seriously. Set: Excitement. I had been looking forward to this day for awhile and had been actively setting my intention for Truth and guidance for some prior weeks. I've had enlightenment experiences sober. Setting: Cottage in the woods with 5 friend who are into personal development. 3 of us would trip, the other 3 would be sober as sitters. All have experience with psychedelics. The Trip: Around 45 minutes after dropping, the effects start to take place. I can immediately tell that this is going to be a powerful trip as I'm forced to start tightening my grip on reality. First signs are that I become extremely present to the moment and get that nice sense of "being". Time slows to a crawl and memory becomes less and less important. I start having a mild panic and can't contribute to interacting with anyone else I'm tripping with. I can tell I'm losing it but refuse to let go. My concepts of what's true start getting obliterated. Just wiped away, like an eraser on a whiteboard. Eventually, a break. Control releases and I surrender to the trip, even if it means death or eternity in this state. There are no words to describe the reality I'm experiencing, I'm simply speechless. In fact, words are exactly what's in the way from understanding it. Insights start pouring in. I look at how I had been acting in my life and just want to bang my head against a wall. Trying to accomplish anything? Getting others to view me in a certain way? Taking everything so serious and neurotically conceptualizing the world? Why? Utterly meaningless. Nothing could be more pointless in this state. I look back at my life and see it only as a dream. A delusional fantasy that never happened. The psychedelics and all this madness wasn't madness at all. It was sobriety. Fortunately, I've released resistance so none of this bothers me. It's just pure shock at how ignorant I was. After just enjoying for awhile, eventually I start come down. This is when it starts to get ugly. Everything was fine as long as the ego was gone. But now that the ego is coming back, I'm not happy with what was revealed. I realize just how stupid I've been. All this time, thinking I was a person experiencing life. All this time, pretending like I understood anything or was doing anything important. But finally I see it. I'd never been so sure in my life. A joke! Life is just a big joke. That's what spirituality is. A giant "Tah-Dah! Nothing is real". I have no more existential questions. Everything has been answered beyond what I could have thought. I call over my friend who got the drugs for us and call him over for a private chat. There are no words. He already knows what I'm going to say. "Sorry man, I had to show you the truth". I start crying my eyes out. I can't handle this. I can't handle all the lies and my own ignorance. "Don't be sad man. There's still lots of fun things to do." "How do you go back?" "Back?" He laughs. "You don't go back". "But what now? How can I possibly live my life knowing this?" "Now, you do what you want and enjoy. Who does this person want to be? Even if you have to pretend". I continue to come down from the trip. I have nothing really to say to anyone past this point and have little to no desire to communicate with anyone. Post-Trip I had trouble sleeping last night. But I've been spending a lot of today just releasing the pain from last night's insights. I know there's a danger in taking these insights too far. Integration is what's necessary now, and I guess that's why I'm writing this post. Trying to come back to the dream. Again, I hope someone finds value in this post. If nothing else you'll have an idea of where this work is leading. Have a great trip

I agree, there's huge potential for delusion with psychedelics. But the whole path is filled with traps, so at a certain point you might as well just pick your weapon and go for it. Sober enlightenment experiences help for sure. Lets you know it's not just the drugs.

1 stamp, so ~150 mics. Seems unreal that you can go deeper than that. The LSD will tell you that you figured it all out when you're in it, but coming out I can see there's definitely a lot more.

Agreed. Lots of emotions going around but you come back

I'm going to go with a middle ground perspective. As soon as you say ANYTHING is a necessity for the best life possible, you've lost. Because all things are impermanent and you will have to let go of sex at some point. That doesn't mean sex isn't something enjoyable or shouldn't be pursued. If you want to have sex, go for it. But, be mindful of your expectations. Sex can definitely become a coping mechanism or abused due to the high most people get from it.

Dreams! Your dreams are gateways to your unconscious. By studying your dreams, you can find out really just what is going on in there. For instance, I've had a reoccurring theme in my dreams where I get so close to success, but then somehow, someway, I just can't cross the finish line. It's like it's right there. But then I get in a loop where everything and anything suddenly seems to stop me. So what does that mean? Well, it means that unconsciously I may still have some blocks to success. Some buried part of feels like I'm just not good enough to make it. So I bring awareness to it and start to look out for thoughts and actions that may be manifestations of this unconscious belief. The great news is you get more data almost every night you dream. So it's like a free coach every night. Also, you can sent your intention before you sleep for answers you may be looking for. Sometimes the answer will play out in your dreams.

You're talking about Tantra. I have a small passion in this area since I really love sex. Tantra is the art of using sex for awakening. You DO orgasm in Tantra, and actually it's way more powerful the orgasms people typically have. The difference is that you learn to direct the energy of your orgasm. So instead of exploding it out and it depleating you, you circulate through your system and have it energize you. It's not necessary to do that every time. In fact it's not a good idea to do it every time. But it can be powerful The benefits to awakening occur because the ego usually dissolves briefly in orgasm. There is no you, no thoughts of any kind. And so you can use this to taste your true nature. You either use it as a coping mechanism to escape from yourself. Or you get so lost in Maya that you can't even view sexual partners as individuals. It really just depends. There are people who get in monogamy because they think it's what they're "supposed to do", which is low consciousness. And then there's people who really just connect with someone and both people benefit.

@Prabhakerbasically nailed it but I'll throw in my thoughts as well. Enlightened people still experience the ups and downs to life. That's what it means to live in duality. However, they don't view it like we do. During a 10-day meditation retreat, I had what some people would consider an "enlightenment" experience. I temporarily dropped identification with myself. One thing of many that sticks out for me about this experience was my relationship to suffering. Sure, there was suffering. But it wasn't happening to me! It was so obvious at that moment that everyone was simply operating under a misunderstanding. The only reason people had any problems was because they thought their problems were happening to them! I laughed and laughed and laughed. I had to control myself in order not to disturb the other mediators. The rest of the day I spent in a deep sense of peace. Eventually I "lost" the insight as is very common with this work. But I still have the memory which serves as a useful guiding point. So yes, Enlightenment is the end of psychological suffering. But the dream goes on, which is why for practical purposes we do what we can to create an extraordinary life. Of course nothing I'm saying will compare to you proving this for yourself. But hopefully this will serve as some motivation.

I urge you to reconsider or at least test the waters first. I did a 10 day retreat and that was hard enough. I probably wouldn't have stuck it out if I didn't have a formal structure and other people.

Denying anything, including pleasure, is just more ego. Ask yourself: what beliefs do you hold that tell you pleasure is bad? Do you think it makes you more "spiritual"?

From the vibe I get from your post, I'd say college wouldn't be nessesary for you. That being said, continue being strategic. Imagine RIGHT NOW that you made the decision to not go to college. Do you have a place to live when you finish high school? How about a source of income to support yourself? A tangibal business opportunity? People to invest in you? A marketing plan for selling your music? A backup plan in case music doesn't work? Start looking at these questions now. This is a serious thing you're considering and is going to alter the course of your life drastically. It's okay if you don't have it all figured out either. The most successful people committment first and act second. But since you have the luxury of time to plan, don't waste it. Play some chess with your life. About your parents: they sound like caring people so realize they want you to take the "safe" route. They will likely not support your decision if you choose to drop college. So don't expect their help. The disapproval of parents is one of those things almost everyone has to go through. But everyone has to leave the nest. Work double as hard to become a success and they will likely start changing their tune. Or not, but either way it doesn't matter. Not if it's something you know you need to do.

To live an authentic life purpose is not an easy thing. Social conditioning runs so deep in everyone that many people don't even remember what authentic desires feel like. So I'm a bit of a pessimist on this issue. As long as we have a society, there will be conditioning.

You won't be thanking me when you're doing diapers at 3 AM but I appreciate the kind words

Caveat that I've never had a kid. So my advice is entirely second-hand on this. From what I've heard, the solution is to flip your perspective. Instead of thinking "how can I keep my dream AND still be a father?", shift to "this baby is going to FUEL ME to my ambitions". Think about it. Do you want your son to view you as: 1) Self-actualizing your potential 2) Hard working 3) Setting and out achieving your goals 4) Role-model and an inspiration 5) Wise 6) Able to help not only himself, but for others Or, do you want your son to view you as: 1) Never lived up to your potential 2) Largely ignorant 3) Lazy 4) Not someone to look up to 5) Barely able to keep it together, just treading water I'm obviously going to assume it's more like the first list. So now use that as MOTIVATION to actualize your life. You haven't been given an anchor to hold you down. You've been given PRESSURE that is going to force you to figure things out and to grow. It won't necessarily be easy. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to balance a family with self-actualization work / life purpose. But in the self-actualization journey, we tend to get the challenges we NEED rather than the ones the ego wants. Congratulations on your rocket fuel

Growth

Thanks!

I don't look at time management / productivity tricks because you're not getting to the root cause of the problem. Generally speaking, what I often see is that people claim they need productivity hacks, but really they lack self-awareness, suffer from limiting beliefs or fail to think strategically. I'm sure there are some useful productivity tricks. But it's just not what I'm interested in because you're not going to solve very much. If you haven't read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, start there. That's a classic for a reason. After that, I'd look into The Big Leap and The Success Principles. If social media seems to be a problem, definitely check out Deep Work. Bonus: Read The Obstacle is the Way. Amazing book for flipping your paradigm on obstacles. Good luck! Those are all links to my blog. Let me know how those books worked for you.

Careful here. It's very easy to rationalize that you're showing unconditional love when you're really just trying to ignore / forget about a problem. These are not at all the same thing. You can love someone unconditional at a deep level just for what they are (infinity / God / You) and simultaneously realize that they are not someone you should have in your life. The harsh questions I would have you ask yourself: is this someone who will benefit your growth long term? What needs does this person fulfill for you, and how might these needs be skewing your judgement?

Terrible. I was a freshmen in college and had just broken up with my highschool girlfriend (we never had sex). I was an absolute wreck. One of my friends (girl) invited me to go out and party with one of her girl friends and one of her guy friends. I just wanted to forget about the breakup so I agreed. After partying, the four of us went back to my friend's dorm room. We're all drunk as fuck and pretty soon my friend is hooking up with her guy friend while I hook up with her girl friend. Clothes come off. My friend throws me a condom and now we've got this mini orgy going on. But I'm still such a wreck from the breakup that all I can still think about is my ex. Totally kills any enjoyment and I couldn't even keep it up for very long. After some brief shitty sex, we all drunkenly pass out. Story gets even worse because I eventually found out the one girl had a fiance. Something tells me she wasn't ready to get married.

I can't say weed gave me any real growth. And most people I see using weed are certainly not self-actualizing. Stick to the tried and true classic psychedelics. If you can't find a way to obtain them, that's probably a sign you shouldn't be taking them.

Besides that I don't want to end up like @Life Coach , I'd say there's plenty of reasons I'm in a relationship. One is that relationships are amazing personal development coaches. Wherever your bullshit is, a relationship is going to rip it out and shove it in your face. Another is better sex. There are certain things you just can't do with a ONS or fuck buddy. Another is that I'm lazer focused on career right now. It's just way more practical to be with one woman who supports me 100% than trying to deal with all the bullshit of being single. How about deep connection with one person? Getting to grow and support each other together? So those are some general reasons. Obviously they all hinge on the idea that you have an amazing partner in your relationship. A relationship with someone who isn't that caliber is probably going to be worse than being single.

Thanks!