Hi Mihajlo Tovivic, if this is a valuable resource, we could start a thread where we all post valuable material for this specific life purpose. Lets make a renaissance 2.0 together!
Here are several books which have helped me get a grasp of my life purpose:
1. The structures of Scientific revolutions
2. Einstein's biography
3. Monadology
4. Rupert Sheldrake's book on science
5. Douglas Hofstadler's book on Godel6. This book on chaos theory
7. Max Plank's biography
8. Newton's biography: his works on alchemy and God are particularly useful insights.
9. This book on how to be a good scientist.
10. this book gave me a great foundation for how authentic science should be done
I've still yet to read books on quantum mechanics. 
 
I've also read and applied several shaman books, astral projection books, etc. 
And I've taken several online courses specifically on mathematics and science to develop that area
Also politics are valuable to master as the biggest challenge with becoming a scientist is changing the beliefs of the scientific community. 

When I was younger for some reason I wanted to get a hairy chest so I listened to a subliminal on youtube to get a hairy chest and It worked. However, now I don't focus my subliminals on physical appearance, but I focus it more towards my consciousness and development. For example, at the moment Iv'e been listening to a meditation master subliminal and it's been working very well and I listened to a subliminal on health and vitality and the results I got from that were amazing. For a newbie, I'd recommend a self-discipline or work-ethic subliminal, or a subliminal that focuses on your limiting beliefs or personal issues. My favorite subliminal channels are akuo subliminals, hypnodaddy, co creators, and many more. Also, you don't need to limit yourself to youtube you can easily learn to create your own subliminals with the right equipment. For instance, there's a great program you get on your computer called subliminal360, although expensive, it's really good for subliminal results and creating your own subliminals. I haven't bought it personaly but iv'e heard good reviews.
Also, don't listen to more than five different subliminals at a time. One, it will give you a headache, and two, your confused mind won't produce any results under subliminal overload. Beleive me, when I was younger I tried listening to like 20 subliminals at once and what a waste of time. And finally, be patient with it, It won't happen overnight every person is different, wait at least a month of daily listening before you judge. If you have any other questions about subliminals they're easily answered on the subliminal channels. 

The self is RELENTLESS!
It's way trickier than you can possibility imagine at this point.
The self will not allow itself to be deconstructed. Because you're barking up the tree of life & death.
Even after a deep awakening the self will tend to regroup and come back with a vengeance. Your whole life hinges on it.

@kindayellow Cool I never would have known to check that one out.
@Aeris I'm a big fan of the Psychedelic Salon podcast https://psychedelicsalon.com/ - there's a lot of great ones in there. Some episodes I can recommend highly:
https://psychedelicsalon.com/podcast-605-microdosing-benefits-risks-unknowns/ - James Fadiman ++ https://psychedelicsalon.com/podcast-601-the-secret-of-psychedelics/ - Alan Watts https://psychedelicsalon.com/podcast-598-a-conversation-with-nick-sand/ - Nick Sand https://psychedelicsalon.com/podcast-579-meditation-and-psychedelics/ - Myron Stolaroff https://psychedelicsalon.com/podcast-606-michael-pollen-discusses-psychedelics/ - haven't listened yet but should be good

@ivankiss That's outside of stuff I've experienced. My experiences of God/Absolute are not like that at all.
Maybe lay off the weed? It might be adding to your paranoia.
Sounds like you might be having a kundalini awakening/activation. That would explain the body shaking and so forth. It might help you do some kind of body work to ground yourself or shake out the energy. Maybe Osho's dynamic meditation or just shaking your whole body like a madman. Chanting can also be helpful. When overwhelming energy comes up for you, try chanting AUM very long and deep from your belly, over and over again while also pounding your chest like a drum. Get a nice rythym going.
I think you are doing okay. You just want to listen more to your body and let natural feelings show you the way. Trust your feelings. Let this process unfold and massage you. Sounds to me like God is taking over your mind and body. This is great. Let it take you over and rewire you. Surrender to it in high faith. Surrender to the highest love and truth. Set that intention every day. The ultimate goal is to let God take over your body. This requires a collapse of the old ego-mind. So that you become like a superconductor for God.
This is exciting stuff! You've broken through to some deep awakening. Looks like you hooked a whale. Now slowly reel it in. Be patient with it. Really listen to your intution and highest feelings, not your rational mind. Allow your body to do whatever it wants to do (without hurting yourself).
Prayer can be very helpful here. Prayer here would be you setting your intention to let God take over you for the highest good. Visualize what you want! This should help you cut through negative thinking and fear. Use your heart too! It's a powerful tool you can activate at any moment with feelings of love. Use that to cut through fear and doubt.
Get clear about what you want in all of this. What is your intention? Do you want to be God? Do you want to surrender? Do you want the highest awakening? Intention is paramount here. Otherwise you are like a leaf blowing in the wind. Take control of the process, not from your mind but from your heart and soul. What does your soul want here?

The key is not the small town itself, the key is being out in nature. Nature is conducive to spirituality as it is uncorrupted by the stench of ego.

5-MeO is almost too powerful for such questions. You will be in such a degree of consciousness that your old life will have zero import or meaning. Your old life will simply not make any sense because it is pure illusion. Under 5-MeO human life simply does not compute. It's like looking at a 2D object from the 4th dimension. Your only desire will be to share 5-MeO with the whole world.
Mushrooms or LSD are milder and better for asking such questions.

@Angelo John Gage A really good way to verify if your desire is coming from ego or from the heart is to ask while on a psychedelic. Ask when you are in a state of nondual God consciousness. See what comes up.

It’s a habit you pick up. I really realized this when I looked into the background of my own avoidance when it comes to money. I realized money was never part of my self/character as something that was ever really that important. I investigsged this and within a matter of less than a minute realized that I invented avoidance tactics to cope with my dysfunctional household because my mom sabotaged our family’s finances due to her mental illness. Not only that (going into identification and the source of how one accurate their character) my dad pointed out all these tendencies in me because I had mental health stuff so avoidance went beyond an overlooked avoidance/coping tactic but sneakily invented this part in my self that didn’t have much concern for money and that I didn’t want to be involved with such matters... and that’s just one aspect.
When you realize just how deep your “social self” runs your life and how false it is.. it’s shocking. That’s the number one thing I’m noticing right now for me. I dont know about anybody else but for me I’ve become completely clueless about how to relate to my own experience, myself, and to other people authentically since the notion of self still is deeply embedded and I still have a lot of neurosis and trauma to work through. 
Emotions are like the circuitry that keep that running and changing that is beyond mediation. It’s fucking hard and extremely confusing. Especially if you’re not that far along. 
Ralston is gold when it comes to this stuff.
I will say though, as far as talent... I’m noticing the more open I become the more I’ve experienced more paranormal stuff happening in terms of random astral projections as I sleep, chakras firing off before I go to bed, 3rd eye openings, etc. and also just a bigger motivation for Truth.