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About xXxXx

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  1. @myLife Nice wanted to start a thread to ask exactly this. I encountered this phenomenon a few times while meditating, last time on my session yesterday. I observed that this happens to me during sessions which go deeper than usual, with longer periods without thoughts emerging. But in general i find it relaxing, it feels like all the tension of the ocular muscles is released.
  2. Weed and alcohol are baggage in my opinion. You say smoking weed has a social value, don't you experience this social feeling without weed? It's an evolving dependency. I smoked a lot of weed, drank a lot in my early twenties and all i can say is: it's nonsense, it interferes with personal growth and if i had the chance i would erase this from my past. Realize that socially accepted drug abuse/dependencies is just drug abuse/dependencies, there is nothing to rationalize because every one does it, or your friends do it when you're out partying. It's your brain, your consciousness - and it pollutes it.
  3. Tell me what is there when you discard all thoughts on your past and your future, when you stop the narrating voice in your head? It is just a story, it's not here. Only your capacity to experience is permanent, the rest is pure fiction. The self is an accumulation of your past memories and your projections on the future, it is a survival driven mechanism, which helps to adapt to your environment at best, or keept you in auto-pilot at worst. The things you mention "successful carreer" etc. can be a mere sign of you being a slave to your DNA, doing your best at attracting the other gender to fullfill your ultimate biological goal: reproduction.. totally unconscious. Or it can be you consciously creating and success being just a side effect.
  4. @ExitDone I think it could be your body language (which is most likely determined by your thinking), which signals that you're an easy victim.. would investigate in this direction, because they surely wouldn't fuck around with someone who looks self-assured. Don't judge yourself too harsh, everyone who grew up in a tougher neighborhood knows these things, you don't want to let this go, but you also don't want to get beaten and stabbed by ten 16 year olds. But next time i wouldn't fuck my brain like this, decide in the moment and accept everything that follows, if you try to beat a brat, ok, if you do the same as last time, ok, no thinking. The situation doesn't destroy you, it's the possibilities which spin in your brain because your ego got hurt. Edit: Realized that i skipped the first few sentences of your post, which are obviously crucial. Sounds like a deeper issue dude. Sounds like you have been triggered because of past 'shaming'.
  5. Covers a few ideas that link quantum physics to nothingness, quite interesting to watch
  6. @student This is a normal stage you're in. You become aware of your anxiety, which is quite overwhelming in the first place, keep the awareness up and don't be reactive about it (e.g. getting frustrated about it). Examine the feeling as deep as possible and guide yourself to the realization that suffering of this condition is a choice. You choose how you interpret this anxiety related phenomena, by labeling it "negative" you create suffering (= psychological friction; because you try to resist). As next step i would recommend you work on your judgements. Try to open your mind by not labeling the phenomena you encounter, live through them without the idea of "good" or "bad". It is a paradoxon, merging with it results in liberation, opposing it will lead to reinforcement. As mentioned before, a very effective way to get rid of labeling things is a SDS (strong determination sitting). You will realize that pain, anxiety and related conditions just are and unpleasantness about it is created solely by you. Facing it directly will toughen your mind, you can realize that you feed the monsters you're running from, you only have to starve them out by neutral observation.
  7. Accept the unchangeable. This will give you the chance to grow yourself above this inferiority complex and to utilize your strengths instead of emphasizing the things that don't please you. So height is not your strength? Good. Your Journey of getting yourself to know begins.
  8. Trains hit hard! You will do it, wish you all the best! Bonne chance!
  9. Get your ass up and start, the clock is ticking and you waste time on this forum. Life is all about such tasks, breach through them like a fucking tank and don't complain before you started to work. If you think you forget easily: i'm on the same side, i do fast repetitions every day if necessary, your mind is like a sponge, if you present it the same shit a thousand times it will remember, especially history. Go through your stuff and then review it twice a day in fullspeed (At least that's what i would do). Don't discourage yourself before you even started, you can make it, a million people did it under worse conditions for sure!
  10. I don't think someone has a magic pill for this, bite the bullet and ace it, 3 weeks hardcore learning can make a big difference. If you want to go to university after school you better get used to this, you never have enough time, yet you have to make it work. Allez, allez!
  11. I don't think there's a general rule, people are highly individualized nowadays. But if you want to think in stereotypes, probably this fits your needs: “Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.” Robert Jordan
  12. Thanks @Jasmine will give them a try!
  13. Was the same for me, meditation enhanced bad behavioral patterns as i started, i would interpret this as your ego resisting a change. Meditation weakens the connection to the ego, therefore it tries to get back in full control to defend the status quo. But it will vanish, keep going and keep your awareness up, the ego tries to force you into your old patterns with very subtile manipulations, examine this, acknowledge in which ways you were manipulated before - learn - and finally grow. I would recommend you try a strong determination sitting, you will see that just sitting and not moving will exhaust you - your mind will make it a hell ride. Thus you can realize how unconsciously controlled you are.
  14. As additional protein source i recommend micellar casein protein powder (mixed with water), provides protein for long time periods, preferably taken in the evening. Did great during my diet.
  15. Thanks @Damien, always looking for good yoga channels, will give it a try tomorrow