Fear Of Bully, Fights

[ExitDone]

I'll be very short 'cus long topics are sucks:

 

- When I'm walking outside I always have a fear of these teenagers to don't make fun  or beat me

- I'm even scared of kids that they will make fun of me (im almost 20 years old, pussy i know)

- If someone is trying to make fun of me I just get frozen. If I reply with insults they will start a beef and I'll get beaten

- I'm also always scared of these people with muscles 'cus I'm skinny as fuck

 

A short story what happend of me today: I was playing footbal in a courtyard of a monastery with a guy. Then some kids came there and after a while they took our ball. I was close to them and the other guy was a little away. That dude is a fucking pussy, more than me, and he wasn't doing nothing. Those kids were passing the ball to each other and I was running to get it like a fucking cat. The priest was keep saying "give him the ball back", so he was watching and I couldn't insult or slap them. After a while I took it and I felt a deep social anxiety on me cus there were another teenagers there. I was feeling like a retard, humilated! After that the priest "kicked" them from courtyard and they started to keep yelling and insulting us. The other dude was just stupid as fuck. He said to go in the other way and I was keep insisting to catch them and slap their face. Man, it was been a while since I felt so fucking humilated in front of teenagers who was knowing me...

 

Before I give you some questions I want to tell you guys that I was never beaten

So can you give me some advices, how to deal with these fucking fights, "making fun of", bullies?

What were you going to do if you were me in that situation?

How to get over this fear?

 

Some of you may say: "just ignore everyone". But what happens if I have a girlfriend with me and they insult me in front of her? She will think that I'm a fucking non-protectiv pussy.....

 

Anything helps man, just give some advices to this pussy called me

[zasa joey]

@ExitDone Had the same problem, then one day i snapped and just beat the shit out of guy who was making fun of me. my confidence grew after that, i was in a rage mode during that period and if someone said something insulting i was always ready to start a fight. now it has passed, and sometimes i have fears like you, but i know that if something happens actually i will stand up for myself. like you know if you get beaten, you will get more self-confidence, you will find out that your not made of glass, so what you were beaten, at least you stood up for yourself.  Think of it like this, you may get beaten, but at least you will take it like a man, and after you get beaten, you will come back stronger and more tougher. 

Edited May 29, 2016 by zasa joey

[Nathalie]

@ExitDone

If I were in your shoes, I think I would learn martial arts..

Not really to fight, but rather to have more self confidence, to feel the strongness from inside out.. You know what I mean?

[Canadian]

I don't know what to tell you. I have fights since my early childhood  all I can say is to stand your ground man. Just start a fight if you think there is a neediness of it in the situation. don't be pussy, you're a man. it isn't about who fights better ,it's about being a man.

[vizual]

It's not about that specific situation that makes or breaks you. If you are a bad ass, fearless dude, those kids would have never taken your ball just like that.

You have to be willing to stand up for yourself, every single moment of the day. It's not something you do, it's something you are. And if you aren't it at the moment, you can become it very quickly. Fear hangs around you like a bad stench, and especially kids and females can smell it a mile away. How can you stop being scared? You simply stop fearing fear and embrace the fear. Let yourself feel the fear and love the fear if it comes. When you prove yourself that fear itself is not that scary as you thought, then over time fear will manifest less and less. And people will sense that you are not afraid anymore.

This takes some commitment, but it isn't as bad as you think it might be. But again, you have to be willing to commit.

[step1]

On ‎29‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 8:42 PM, ExitDone said:

I'll be very short 'cus long topics are sucks:

 

- When I'm walking outside I always have a fear of these teenagers to don't make fun  or beat me

- I'm even scared of kids that they will make fun of me (im almost 20 years old, pussy i know)

- If someone is trying to make fun of me I just get frozen. If I reply with insults they will start a beef and I'll get beaten

- I'm also always scared of these people with muscles 'cus I'm skinny as fuck

 

A short story what happend of me today: I was playing footbal in a courtyard of a monastery with a guy. Then some kids came there and after a while they took our ball. I was close to them and the other guy was a little away. That dude is a fucking pussy, more than me, and he wasn't doing nothing. Those kids were passing the ball to each other and I was running to get it like a fucking cat. The priest was keep saying "give him the ball back", so he was watching and I couldn't insult or slap them. After a while I took it and I felt a deep social anxiety on me cus there were another teenagers there. I was feeling like a retard, humilated! After that the priest "kicked" them from courtyard and they started to keep yelling and insulting us. The other dude was just stupid as fuck. He said to go in the other way and I was keep insisting to catch them and slap their face. Man, it was been a while since I felt so fucking humilated in front of teenagers who was knowing me...

 

Before I give you some questions I want to tell you guys that I was never beaten

So can you give me some advices, how to deal with these fucking fights, "making fun of", bullies?

What were you going to do if you were me in that situation?

How to get over this fear?

 

Some of you may say: "just ignore everyone". But what happens if I have a girlfriend with me and they insult me in front of her? She will think that I'm a fucking non-protectiv pussy.....

 

Anything helps man, just give some advices to this pussy called me

 

DON'T EVER feel humiliated by any of these bullies.  If you do this you will end up under the same miserable spell they are under.  You do know these bullies hate themselves inside right? 

Don't hate the bullies, they have suffered a trauma that makes them act this way.  But don't let them bully you either.  Stand up for yourself.  Start a martial arts course (one that is actually useful in a real life scenario) judo, jujitsu, boxing, kick boxing are good ones and only use what they teach you if you are provoked.

Don't ever feel humiliated by ANYONE.  Love yourself for who you are.  And the most important rule of them all, NEVER JUDGE ANYONE for what they do or don't do.  You don't know what they have been through or what goes on in their head. 

At 32 I am only just learning these lessons myself.  Better late than never.

[xXxXx]

@ExitDone I think it could be your body language (which is most likely determined by your thinking), which signals that you're an easy victim.. would investigate in this direction, because they surely wouldn't fuck around with someone who looks self-assured. Don't judge yourself too harsh, everyone who grew up in a tougher neighborhood knows these things, you don't want to let this go, but you also don't want to get beaten and stabbed by ten 16 year olds. But next time i wouldn't fuck my brain like this, decide in the moment and accept everything that follows, if you try to beat a brat, ok, if you do the same as last time, ok, no thinking. The situation doesn't destroy you, it's the possibilities which spin in your brain because your ego got hurt.

Edit:

Realized that i skipped the first few sentences of your post, which are obviously crucial. Sounds like a deeper issue dude. Sounds like you have been triggered because of past 'shaming'. 

Edited June 7, 2016 by Locooig

[Kelley White]

On 5/29/2016 at 0:42 PM, ExitDone said:

So can you give me some advices, how to deal with these fucking fights, "making fun of", bullies?

What were you going to do if you were me in that situation?

How to get over this fear?

 

Some of you may say: "just ignore everyone". But what happens if I have a girlfriend with me and they insult me in front of her? She will think that I'm a fucking non-protectiv pussy.....

 

Anything helps man, just give some advices to this pussy called me

Hi @ExitDone.  Personally I am a girl that likes results and I like 'em quick.   I am a fan of Byron Katie because I find she gets results very quickly.

I shared your fear so I have done self inquiry related to bullies and people of that flavor. 

I am hearing

You are afraid of bullies.

You are afraid your girl friend will think you are a pussy.  

You are afraid others will see you as a pussy.

 

I would invite you to listen to Byron Katie and try the work on this.  

I wish you the best working on this. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iur3eWKynqE