blueberries

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About blueberries

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  1. I agree in sentimient but the issue is that I can't leave right now as I've already signed my contract for the house - in theory I could find somebody to replace me but that would take a lot of time and emotional energy that I'm not willing to give in away in my last semester, for the sake of just a few months.
  2. I stopped drinking alcohol a few months ago, it's definitely helped me see things for what they are a lot more clearly. From reading your reply I've realised that I've not really made the effort myself to bring up new topics. Yes it's definiely true that finding the middle ground and balance is key. I guess part of me is just scared of slipping back into old ways or whatever, it's much easier to stick to an extreme than genuinely be mindful.
  3. 'Outgrowing' for want of a better word. I'm a student and currently live with roommates, who have been my close friends since I started university. I basically went through a phase of delayed hedonism for a while when I began university, I fell into this trap of wanting to see if I could rewire my personality and trying to understand what other people got out of that kind of lifestyle. But anyway. I stopped all that and now just want to focus on my health, starting a business, developing my mind etc. I'm now left living with friends who are pretty good people on the whole but just don't want the same things in life as I do now. I'm really struggling with knowing how to deal with the situation, since I live with them, as I find that one of the following things ends up happening: a) Shut myself in room, turn down opportunities to socialise with them outside of house. Feel like all they do is watch TV and hang around talking about the 'old times', drinking or other mindless conversations. Start to think of them as 'negative' and 'toxic', resent them and judge them, think I am somehow superior. b) Spend time with them and actually enjoy it. Get sucked into talking about the 'old times' and when we used to get drunk together, enjoying the opportunity to talk about myself. Feel myself going back into old patterns of thinking temporarily. End up wasting loads of time. I just want to stay focused on my own path without judging others, as this takes me into an extremely negative mindset.